screambeans

[screambeans]

Hi! Hello! Friendly PSA!

As the weather is slowly getting warmer, bathing suits/shorts/dresses/skirts are finding their ways back into our wardrobes. This means O O H !! F L E S H  O U T  I N  T H E  O P E N!!

So I’m gonna be a semi horrible person and make a PSA that applies to me (boo now, go ahead)

BUT! This doesn’t mean that it’s any less valid! Let’s begin, shall we?

~~~

This is a shout out for the skinny kids out there who feel anything less than confident about their bodies. No one should have insecurities, but since so many people obsess about being overweight, we are often frowned upon for not loving ourselves. Of course, no one should feel anything less than love for themselves, we all deserve love, but insecurity is a constant. Because we aren’t overweight, if we express any sort of our insecurity, people often berate us with “omg you’re so skinny though!” or “you have no right to be insecure, you’re a twig!” or anything of that matter.

Yes, I’ve heard those things before.

Not only is it unhealthy for one to hate themself, but it’s unhealthy to be berated for hating ourselves. This furthers the damage that’s already been done by our own minds. Everyone is insecure, and you have every right to feel every emotion that comes through your mind. Your feelings are yours and you shouldn’t be punished for them, even if they are self degrading. Instead, the cure is time, effort, and support.

SKINNY KIDS CAN BE INSECURE TOO. WE MAY NOT BE OVERWEIGHT, BUT WE STILL MAY NOT LIKE OUR BODIES.

[screambeans]

The way I approach my problems now defines how I approach them for the rest of my life. Even if I can’t get past the fact that they are, indefinitely, irrelevant, and that they will not last forever, I still have to face them regardless. I live in fear of the future. Constantly. And since there’s no stopping that, I might as well make the best of what I have now.

It’s a chilly Monday morning (when I am writing this, that is), the air is quite nippy on my legs (only covered by the thinnest stretched fabric from my leggings, a poor choice for today, I know) and I can’t get my mind out of the future. Almost no one can successfully live in the present, at least from my experience, but I’m finding it particularly difficult today.

My current stresses about the year coming to an end, about the weird aura my friend group is growing, about plans for the summer, what dress to wear for boat dance, my schedule for next year, all of it is going to be irrelevant in just a few years. Which is crazy to me. I can’t begin to imagine anything past high school. Time is frightening me. Yes, my problems won’t last long. No, they don’t have much of an impact on the entirety of my life. BUT..why do they feel so life-shredding now?

That’s when I came across this note in the girl’s bathroom. So, to whoever wrote this, thank you for helping me see things in another light. 

[screambeans]

THIS SONG WAS PLAYED THROUGHOUT THE WRITING OF THIS PIECE

*Lastly, with high weathers in mid nineties this week, it is suggested to stay hydrated, lather up on sunblock, and have fun!*

Blistering backs lay out in the sweltering afternoon sun by the CSW pool. At 2:50 every day, the pool opened and the tiny oasis flooded with students and vibrantly colored pool floats. We spent our pool time as if each dip was our last, absorbing every last sun ray and every drop of heavily chlorinated water. Students went all out with beach attire (as expected from the expressive CSW community,) rocking their strapped sunburns from their intricate swimsuits the day after. Today, the pool attire fad was sunscreen tattoos. People planned to spell out words and show them off during assembly, while others spent their time on the stone benches at the traffic circle painting flowers onto each other’s backs. These last few weeks were almost bittersweet, and the water grew to be the same after each day. We couldn’t help but feel slightly sad as we floated, it was all becoming a melancholy memory even as it was happening. Sometimes, students would sit at the floor of the pool, slowly letting out air from their nostrils and watching them go up with a envy in their eyes. Envious at how easily air could just..rise away. Envious at how it was naturally made to do that. Air bubbles rise in water; it’s that simple. It seemed as if no one could get past the fact that school was actually ending and just enjoy the weather as it was. Our sunburns would eventually fade, but the melancholy memory remains in our lungs.

[screambeans]

THE HIDDEN TRUTH ON CARA MCADAM

On one fine morning in B block, I interviewed the lovely Cara McAdam. At a glance, Cara is a quiet polite girl. It is evident that Cara ponders over things frequently. I asked a good handful of obscure questions to find both of us deep in conversation on how people make so many types of cheese. Clearly there’s more than just the two simple adjectives of polite and quiet. Cara’s “quiet” personality is really her pondering over whether fish could survive in a bowl of milk. I would describe Cara as a thoughtful person who cares about others. This part of her comes through in class discussions, as she listens intently to her classmates and calmly and politely expresses her opinion. Her polite attitude is..well..what it is. She’s a naturally kind individual.

Or so we think..

Cara claims to be introverted, and that she spends a lot of her time in her room IN THE DARK. Y’know who else spends time in the dark alone all the time?

Vampires.

Her semi-pale complexion is nothing but a giant flashing arrow towards a billboard above her head stating THIS GIRL IS A VAMPIRE. Cara loves flaming hot cheetos, almost as flaming hot as hell, where she may end up if she continues to eat people. OH WAIT, SHE’S ALREADY DEAD. VAMPIRE, REMEMBER? Why else would she be so neutral to the idea of death?! When asked if she feared the empty unknown that is death, she replied with “Uh, I dunno, I guess?”

WHO IS SO INCREDIBLY INDIFFERENT TOWARDS BLACK NOTHINGNESS OTHER THAN THE MIGHTY QUEEN VAMPIRE HERSELF?

I slowly started to incorporate a vampire-esque theme into the interview. Asking her questions about darkness, pets, and such. I finally confronted her about her thoughts about blood to find that it didn’t gross her out at all. This makes sense considering it’s her ONLY FOOD SOURCE. Cara is also a night owl, this response is equal to that of  “I don’t need sleep because I’ve been dead for thousands of years.”

Let’s end with our strongest source of evidence yet. CARA HASN’T AND WILL NOT READ THE TWILIGHT SERIES. This is probably because her kind is so poorly portrayed by an uneducated author that it would just be too insulting to read! I almost sympathize for you, Cara! I mean, we all know that a vamp’s skin does anything besides glitter and shimmer in direct sunlight.

Your secret is out, Cara. As for whoever is reading, carry cloves of garlic with you. There may be more people like the mysterious Cara McAdam in the world...or possibly at CSW in your (what seems to be fine and dandy) B block class.