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family - @rosekillermicrofic - cw: trans/homophobia - word count: 236

“Heard what your father said today,” Evan said as he hopped into Barty’s old car, slamming the door behind him and not bothering with his seatbelt. “Your family really sucks, man.”

Barty snorted, scowling. His father, a major politician, had made a speech that morning about ‘marriage being between a woman and a man’ and ‘gender being biological’ or some bullshit like that. At this point,all the bigotry kind of ran together.  “Don’t say that word in my car,” he growled, but the anger didn’t reach his eyes. He could never be angry at Evan. Not really.

“What, ‘father?’”

“Well, yeah. But I meant ‘family.’” He smirked.

“Yeah. Them,” Evan heaved a sigh like the word weighed him down. His family wasn’t very accepting either, and it often ate at him.

But that wouldn’t do. Barty couldn’t allow his Rosie to be anything but happy. “Hey, c’mere,” he said softly, pulling him into a kiss.

As their lips moved together, a practiced dance they both knew as well as they knew each other, as well as they knew themselves, Barty blindly pulled out his phone and snapped a picture. Then, he pulled back and showed the taller boy the shot. It was clear that Barty was kissing a boy but it wasn’t clear who.

“Wanna really piss some people off?” he asked, grinning, pulling out Instagram.

Evan beamed back. “Make sure to tag your dad.”

--

But like what if Barty has the same energy as Elon's daughter? What then?

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I was listening to 'Stick season' by Noah Kahan and it's just... so Rosekiller coded... If we're talking canon, I mean (that is, after Evan's dead and Barty's alone)

Just look at the lyrics

"Kept on driving straight and left our future to the right": Evan getting too much into the DE and getting himself killed, and Barty feeling abandonned.

"Now I am stuck between my anger and the blame that I can't face/ And memories are something even smoking w*ed does not replace": Barty blaming himself basically and picking up dr/gs

"And it's half my fault, but I just like to play the victim/ I'll drink alcohol till my friends come home for Christmas": feeling like it's his fault that Evan's dead + since his friends are all dead, trying to drown himself in alcohol (cause no one is coming for Christmas, sorry Barty)

"And I'll dream each night of some version of you": we all know Azkaban messes with people's mind so what if Evan haunted Barty there?

"That I might not have, but I did not lose/ Now you're tire tracks and one pair of shoes/ And I'm split in half, but that'll have to do": if "split in half" is not for soulmates I don't know what is.

"So I thought that if I piled something good on all my bad/That I could cancel out the darkness I inherited from Dad": this one's obvious. #daddy issues #crouch sr is a dick

"No, I am no longer funny 'cause I miss the way you laugh/You once called me "forever," now you still can't call me back": angst, angst, angst

"My other half was you/ I hope this pain's just passing through/ But I doubt it": obviously the pain is not just passing through and Azkaban will just make it worse

TL;DR: 'Stick Season' is the ultimate canon Rosekiller song, thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

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yungblud is literally barty crouch jr irl. have you listened to the song parents. have you listened to the song lowlife. LITERALLY BARTY CROUCH JR.

read the lyrics: "my daddy put, a gun to my head. said 'if you kiss a boy im gonna shoot you dead.' so i tied him up with gaffa tape and locked him in a shed, then i went out to the garden and i fucked my best friend" and tell me that isnt the most barty coded thing ever. (evan was the best friend ❤️)

read the lyrics: "i don't care if the people stare im gonna sit right here in my underwear cause im a lowlife." BARTY CROUCH JR WROTE THAT.

LIKE WHAT THE HELL. YUNGBLUD EVEN LOOKS LIKE BARTY CROUCH JR ITS UNNERVING. i love his music tho. my fav album is "weird!" . fav song by him is probably 11 minutes or charity, ooo or psychotic kids

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i hate when people say rosekiller would break up all the time

like no those bitches would take an unbreakable vow so they can’t break up ever

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What to do if You Don’t Like an Author’s Fanfic or Take on a Trope:

Stop reading.

Find another fanfic that is more suitable to your tastes.

Read that one instead.

Bonus tip If you’re considering sending the author unsolicited messages about how much you disliked their fic, consider one of the following options instead:

Don’t.

Get a life.

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it's giving: hello darling, guess who's back from jaaaail lmao

Dorcas, Regulus, Pandora, and Evan: [casually sitting in the Slytherin common room, doing their homework]

Barty: What’s up sluts guess who just got out of prison

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*on a hike*

Regulus: It’s so quiet out here.

James: Too quiet…

Regulus: Did we lose someone??

*cut to Barty with a bear in a headlock*

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friendly reminder that in GoF, Sirius quite literally says: "If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."

Now, the quote is originally about Winky and how Crouch Sr treated her, but who do we know treated house-elves like equals?

who do we know was bff with a house-elf for years?

who do we know quite literally sacrified themself for a house-elf?

that's right, baby.

Regulus Arcturus Black himself.

And I bet ya Sirius knew how Regulus acted with Kreacher.

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reblogging because I REFUSE to surrender ownership of my works to some AI shit

and you should refuse too

#let's protect our home cooked meals from GMOs

#yes, I used GMOs as a metaphor for AI, so what?

just a heads up to my fellow writers out there that AO3 is currently fighting off bots commenting on people’s works to tell them that AO3 will delete their fics “due to the works being deprecated”, and the deletion will affect their accounts unless the authors delete the fics themselves first. IT IS A SCAM. AO3 will NOT delete your works. please do NOT fall for these bots!

I’ve been told the reason why these bots are doing this is due to copyright infringement issue where they’re trying to steal your works (possibly to train AI but this is just a guess) ‼️‼️‼️and once you deleted your fics, it will be either very difficult or impossible for you to claim ownership of your own fics when they were already deleted.‼️‼️‼️

a reminder that AO3 will never contact you through your comments section (in case they claim to be one of the moderators). AO3 will only contact you through your email address which you use to register your account, and it will be from AO3’s official handle. not some sketchy ass @

so if you get a comment telling you you should “delete your works to protect your account because AO3 is doing blah blah blah” report that comment. don’t delete your works.

PLEASE DO NOT FALL FOR THESE SCAM.

AO3 IS NOT DELETING WORKS.

DO NOT DELETE YOUR WORKS JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE CLAIMS THEY KNOW SOMETHING.

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#did you at least kiss the brick before throwing it

#this should qualify as a war crime honestly

regulus went to the cave after sunset so james didn’t have to see him die

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YESSS

Like, especially if the Blacks are headcannoned to be French.

As a French girl myself, I can tell you, by 14 y/o you KNOW what alcohol tastes like. By 11 y/o, an old uncle or your grandpa will have at least once suggested you drink it to "know what it tastes like." By 16, adults will give you wine at family dinners. It doesn't matter that the legal drinking age is 18, nobody cares! Waiters in restaurants don't care that you're a minor, your grandparents don't care, hell, even sometimes your parents don't care. If you're above 16, you're getting at least champagne for "apéro" (THE most important French tradition).

Alcohol culture in France is HUGE. Like, borderline alcoholism, mate. "Drinking too much is bad" and all that shit yet kids are encourage to drink. If you haven't gotten drunk by 15 at least once, you're a [redacted].

My point is: if you hc Regulus as French/of French ascent, you bet the man is able to hold is drink.

(et Sirius a la descente du siècle, fight me)

i feel like i've had enough of "Regulus is such a lightweight and doesn't know how to handle his liquor" propaganda. Yeah, sure, it's funny, or whatever, and I won't stop you from using this headcanon, do whatever you want

BUT

I know for a fact that Regulus KNOWS how to drink. He grew up going to tense family gatherins. Do you know what is the only way to survive them? That's right – drinking. Either it's wine, or whiskey, doesn't matter. (never both of them at the same time, though. Like I said, he knows how to drink, he wouldn't do the mistake of mixing the two)

On top of everything, he grew up in a rich family, where giving wine to children seems chic and cool or whatever. He was served wine during family gatherings since he was like 13, I just know. And if not? Well, he was being very discreet, taking a shot or two. Maybe three. Maybe four. That's only for him to know

(also, Alphard was definitely that one cool uncle that would pour all the kids a few shots. It's canon. I was the shot glass)

But you know who, on the other hand, is a one shot wonder? James. That man takes one shot and is DONE. On the floor, deceased. On a good day, he can drink two and still somewhat stand (not very straight tho)

"oh, but James is bigger and stronger and taller than Regulus!" Idc. That means little to nothing, actually. I have friends who are shorter than me who can drink much more than me, actually.

Anyway

Tl;dr: James is the lightweight in the relationship, not Regulus

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk