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secretsofsantos-blog · 8 years ago

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Grounded

When I first came to Los Santos I was naive and dreamed big. Nothing could hold me back, everything was in reach and I was strong, even alone… those ideas are still here. I still believe in them, as stupid at that sounds. I hold onto the dearly because they keep me grounded.

Although, sometimes I wander. Life can get to a person and it makes them change or take drastic actions they wouldn’t have once considered. That doesn’t make you a bad person.It makes you JUST a person.

A friend sent me a saying from Buddha:

Virtue is persecuted more by the wicked than it is loved by the good.

Los Santos proves this statement more than any other city I’ve ever visited. You can be a good person, follow all the rules, listen to all the advice, make the sensible decisions and everyone just treats you like normal.

However they’ll try to tempt you from the morals you’ve built yourself on and most of the time they’re so fragile they’re easy to tip.

I tipped. I can say with my hands held high I’ve made reckless choices; I’ve been underhanded and I’ve gone so far as to get myself arrested for illegal substances.

Both the regimented moralized Bonnie and the wild un-tethered Bonnie leave the same bitter sweet taste in my mouth. Both feed a part of me that I enjoy to lavish in.

Neither are right, neither are wrong.

I’ve found that it’s the people around me who truly keep me grounded.

The boyfriend who waits outside PD and doesn’t reprimand or praise the choices I make.

The brother- like figure, who drives me to reflect on myself and makes me think about if I really like who I am.

The woman I call a best friend, who sends me messages to calm my storming mind.

Every person I’ve met plays a part in the shaping of me but for too long I’ve been blaming the people around me or the situations I end up in for the choices I make, rather than looking at myself.

I lost my morals. I lost my drive. I want to be Bonnie of Weazel News West & Vanilla Unicorn. Straight laced, professional, kind Bonnie. I’ve proved nothing can hold me back with both businesses. I’ve proven everything is in reach when I somehow managed to make a stable relationship. Finally I’ve proven I’m strong, with everything I’ve been through, I’ve still come out on top.

So maybe I’m not wandering. Maybe I’ve found a new path.

But I can guarantee one thing: The ‘old’ Bonnie never left. She just needed time.

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secretsofsantos-blog · 8 years ago

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Saying good bye to the moon.

Sometimes words can’t begin to explain what a person is feeling. Sometimes they don’t convey the meaning or the passion or the power you need to show.

I had no words to write this for a long time. I still don’t think I can. I once wrote about a man, he was an ex stuntman and a recovering addict. I wrote about his life before meeting me, then later I posted a few pictures of him, what people didn’t realised is that he is a massive part of my life in Los Santos.

Chris was a massive part of my life in Los Santos. My security. My comfort. My best friend. Now he’s gone.

Yet the world keeps on going. He’s just a name added to a list of those who have come and gone. People cry for a few days then wipe away the tears and carry on.

He’s not just a name on a list for me. He enriched my life in ways I can’t explain. He kept all my secrets, he created secrets with me and always managed to give me a thrill, be it driving his bike well over the speed limit on the freeway, or buying a field next to a meth lab.

Chris was one of a kind. He was hope embodied. In a world where everything seems bright and fake, he was real. I know this because of the friends he made. Anyone and everyone was a friend to Chris.

I’ll miss him. I already miss him.

~

I wish I knew what you were thinking that night. I hope you were happy.

- Bonnie

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secretsofsantos-blog · 8 years ago

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I never thought I’d have to write this.

I don’t know how to write this. Give me time.

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secretsofsantos-blog · 8 years ago

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The ghost on the hill.

If you’ve lived in Los Santos and listened to the radio, watched the TV or used your iPinapple for internet searches you’ll have come across this supernatural theory. It’s the story of how Jolene Cranley-Evans died and began to haunt Mount Gordo.

In 1977 Jolene and her husband John “Jock” began having marital issues. Jock wanted to leave Blaine County to follow his dreams of becoming a stuntman, however Jolene refused to leave, saying that she had to look after her parents and run the guest house passed down to her.

In 1978, after a full year of arguing, Jock and Jolene took a romantic hike across Mount Gordo hoping to rebuild what was left of their marriage. Stopping on the east side of the trail below the peak to look down upon the lighthouse, Jock tried to talk his wife into moving. When it seemed like a losing battle he made a snap decision to push Jolene and let her fall onto the rocks below and to her death.

Jock was arrested on suspicion of his wife’s murder but with little evidence pointing towards Jock and the knowledge that the trail is full of dangers even to experienced hikers, the death of Jolene was ruled as a accident and Jock walked free.

However Jolene's spirit was trapped on Mount Gordo and still is to this very day. Her spirit is said to appear between 11pm and Midnight, floating above the word “Jock” written in blood - her desperate plea for justice.

Jock went on to become a stunt man in the City of LS and is currently running as the main conservative candidate in the upcoming gubnatorial election in State of San Andreas.

With all of this in mind, I decided (after drinking a lot of rum) that it would be a fantastic idea to go find the ghost. Taking friends from Yellow Jacks we traveled north and started the hike to the top of Mount Gordo.

Since we had drank through the night, we arrived at the location VERY early (9am and we had to wait till 11pm) we decided to throw a little party. We shared music, talked about movies and all agreed that Patrick Swayze used to be a hot piece of ass.

When 11pm finally hit, we were ready to see a ghost and a ghost we saw! My camera kinda messed up and wouldn’t take a clear shot so this is what I managed to get:

I know it’s blurry and not very good but my camera was acting up and wouldn’t focus.

However something else weird happened on Mount Gordo. One of the gentlemen I’d made this trip with suddenly started to hear a voice, a woman’s voice. He approached Jolene’s ghost and started whispering back. “Yes my love.” “Of course my love.” “Anything for you my love.”

It was truly weird and terrifying but the worst was yet to come. As I approached the gentlemen he moved closer the cliff edge. I reached out and called his name. The last thing I heard was “I’m joining you my love.” before he jumped from Mount Gordo, following the path Jolene had taken all those years ago.

Obviously I panicked. I ran down the hill, I knew I’d find a mangled body at the bottom but adrenaline pushed me forward. I needed to find him. At the bottom of the hiking trail there he laid, barely breathing. I was able to get him back to civilization and to a hospital. Luckily they managed to treat him, he had suffered a few bruises and scars but he was fortunate to still be able to walk at all after such a fall.

Catching up with him later, he told me he had no memory of Jolene’s ghost or the voice in his head telling him to jump. In fact he wondered if I had pushed him. Almost reminiscent of Jock’s trial for his wife’s death.

If it wasn’t for the photo evidence and the 3 other people with us, I would call myself crazy and check into the hospital, but we did see Jolene. She is on Mount Gordo and our friend did nearly kill himself by jumping from the cliff edge.

Sometimes it’s best to leave the theories as they are and not to upset the dead.

- Bonnie.

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secretsofsantos-blog · 8 years ago

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Learning the signs.

I’ve been in the city a long time now and I can still admit, hand on heart that I make some of the dumbest decisions known to man when it comes to stranger danger and who to trust.

Naturally, my job requires me to have a certain levels of recklessness. I can’t stand around and expect stories to just appear before my eyes but there’s also a level of perception you need in order to not get shot every time you leave your motel.

Here are a few quick facts I’m trying to live by:

Everyone is packing heat. - Whether this is true or not doesn’t matter, it’s the knowledge that everyone has something to protect themselves with, be it a knife or a rifle. They can still hurt you.

Don’t get into strangers cars. - I learnt this the hard way. Just because someone asks to talk “business” in the back of their Rover, doesn’t mean you should. Even if the scoop seems perfect, once you’re in that car and not the driver, they’re in control.

Drive your own car. - If you want to conduct business privately, getting in a car and driving so no one can overhear seems perfect, but if that’s the case, YOU drive the car. That means you can control the situation. You decide how fast you’re going, where you’re going and if the worst happens and a gun is pulled then you can deal with it in several ways.

Inform someone. - Every time I receive a reporter call, I also message a friend with the location of the meeting point. This is for personal safety.

You’re alone, you’re an easy target. - You have zero protection except for yourself. Know your strengths, be ready to act.

Even with all these rules I still mess up: the face I’m talking to is pretty and they’ve made me feel safe and showered me with compliments. Do I want to go to a boat trip around the island with them? Sure... oh wait there’s the gun to my face.

Something looks interesting next to this building, do I want to be shown it? Okay... oh, there’s a car waiting and I have to get in it.

I’m drunk and they’re giving me attention, I’ll tell them about “Billy” and his criminal past. (This has never happened. I’m just making examples)

I’m a tiny woman and yet I’ve had guns pulled on me weekly. It comes with the territory and I’ve had to learn to adapt to the situations.

I don’t really know what I’m trying to say anymore. Just be safe out there and stop pulling guns on me, fuckers.

- Bonnie

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secretsofsantos-blog · 8 years ago

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The path we take.

- Bonnie

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secretsofsantos-blog · 8 years ago

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Test of time.

I know it’s been a few days since I last updated. A lot of things have happened. A lot of friends moved away.

Little Red & Miguel fell into a bit of trouble, trouble that couldn’t be avoided, but it proved too much for them. For the safety of Little Red and the sanity of Miguel they moved out of Los Santos. They’re not sure when or if they’ll be back. They just needed the space.

Iced Latte went on a business trip and didn’t return. We know he’s still active in the running of the Vanilla Unicorn, they just employed a new dancer and the door men are being paid, he’s just not set foot in the city to come check on it.

Chris, like Red & Miguel decided the city was too much. I believe Chris fell back into his old ways, after he quit his job and started to deal in some questionable things. I don’t condemn him for it. Illegal substances are so easy to come by in a city like LS. It’s quick and easy money and when you’re just not making ends meet as a doorman or driver, sometimes the extremes seem easier. I don’t blame him for leaving.

So where does that leave Blonde Bonnie? Well I went back to the Weazel news after my break with my head held high. I started to take the position seriously. Brought forward stories which I thought were interesting and useful, the Weazel wasn’t interested. They wanted scandal, they wanted shock, they wanted dirt. I did my job, found a man who had negative things to say about the LSPD, brought it forward and so I got my first breaking news story. It felt dirty. Still feels dirty...

But as they keep reminding me, people would beg for this job. Well how come no one is begging for it in Los Santos?

Chris once told me that this town was a venom, it seeps into whoever comes into contact with them and slowly poisons them. At the time I laughed, but now I understand.

I know there are secrets in this town. It too big for there not to be. Sometimes I’m told them and then I have to make moral decisions. Do I tell? Do I report? Do I write a goddamn blog on it? Or do I pretend I didn’t hear the whispers, put my rosy glasses on and strut through to bright lights of the city?

A contact of mine tells me to “Stay whole Bonnie.” I know what they want. They want me to be careful, not draw attention, keep my head down and survive.

Only I’m not looking to survive. I’m looking for a thrill. I came to LS for adventure. Then the venom entered my system, it made me paranoid. Paranoid of the PD who look at me like dirt. Paranoid of the people, whether they’ll pull a gun on me at any moment. Paranoid of the nature trails I used to love, in case I get hurt and no one can help. Paranoid of the thrill I’m seeking. I want the blood pumping in my ears, my palms slick with cold sweat, panting due to adrenaline. I want it. The last time I had it was when a contact helped me climb a mountain.

I’m sorry I’ve rambled so much today, but I needed to say it. I’ll leave you with this final thought:

If the city I’ve grown to know is poison then why does it have sunsets like this:

- Bonnie

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secretsofsantos-blog · 8 years ago

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Grand Theft Auto

Los Santos isn’t exactly low on crime. Gang wars, motocycle clubs, illicit deals, they happen out in the open like having a coffee and a catch up. Only these take place in the middle of a seedy strip club that seems to have no strippers. One thing that I haven’t heard much of was car theft - even though everyone owns a car and they vary from the lower end spectrum like little Cherry/Prune to super cars like Chris’ recently bought Betty - until a few days ago.

While standing outside Vanilla Unicorn (the strip club I mentioned earlier) catching up on the lastest LS gossip (it’s dry right now, or as usual I’m being kept in the dark) a man decided that his twitching fingers should test Cherry... without permission. Needless to say I watched my own car drive away from me. I thought I was the lone wolf, the unlucky one and with the direction my week is going, I wouldn’t be ssurprised.

However later on, upon catching a lift to Tequi-La-La I met a man, goes by the name of Church, from London. (The accent made me homesick for a moment or two) He was quick to tell everyone inside the bar that his brand new orange Lambo had been stolen and the police had done very little about it.

Whether it was the same person who stole both cars is still under discussion, but 2 thefts in the same week outside bars? Seems a little too obvious.

For now, my Cherry has been replaced by Prune. Same car, different colour and I’ve not had a chance to catch up with Church since, hopefully he found his lambo.

Till next time.

- Bonnie

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secretsofsantos-blog · 8 years ago

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The sun rises on the city that never sleeps.

Lets see what today brings.

- Bonnie

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secretsofsantos-blog · 8 years ago

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I’m back baby... with cadet training.

Refreshed, relaxed and energized. Those are the word I’d describe myself right now. Even though they’re a lie to keep face and pretend I’m untouchable but that’s a personal matter and the people of LS can take anything I say and turn it in on me, so lets not give them anymore opportunities of attack. Sound good? Cool.

This blog is going to be neutral and based on facts seen during my time with the LSPD Cadet Training, my own opinion I will try to keep to myself.

On a warm evening in Sandy Shores, I was invited to watch and take notes on cadet training ran by Lt. Frost & Capt. Davis. The successful cadets would be promoted to Officer if they manged to demonstrate the skills needed for the roles in the LSPD.

This was a test of skills. Those in need of development and those in need of nurturing.

The tasks were rather simple mock police calls. Involving drug deals, high speed chases and my own personal favorite (I know I said it’d be none biased but give me this) a hostage situation.

First up: Cadet Black

Cadet Black is one of the few females interested in joining the PD as officer. Her skills lie within calm talking and patience.

In fact feed back from the training included that she was too kind to those accused. - A trait which helps when you arrive at PD, upset and stressed.

Cadet Black showed that she was best suited in a pair while on the streets, she was good at supporting her fellow officer and keeping the crowd around the scene to a minimum.

She was also excellent at dispatch.

Next: Cadet Timbers

Having experienced Cadet Timbers policing first hand (everyone gets caught running a red once right?) I was interested to see how his training progressed.

You could clearly see he took notes from his commanding officers. He was tough but fair, didn’t shout but was firm. Not only did he manage to sway my attitude as I cat called ‘police brutality’ but also apprehend a criminal while dealing with a rowdy and abusive crowd (Cadet Black was lucky to only have Frost in Training. Timbers got the LSPDs favorite pair)

One thing that was picked up on was during the hostage situation, Timbers didn’t pull out a gun to protect himself as he spoke to the criminal. He logically explained that the man in question could clearly see him and by pulling a gun he might have startled or scared the man and caused more harm than good. Quick thinking in a high stress environment. Sounds like a cop right? There’s very little to say about Timbers, he showed very clearly the skills and attitude needed to be a first response in LS.

I wish them the best of luck with the LSPD.

Till next time.

- Bonnie

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secretsofsantos-blog · 8 years ago

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Bald Idiot Dances Alone @ LS Auditorium

- Bonnie

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secretsofsantos-blog · 8 years ago

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Dirt.

Soon.

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secretsofsantos-blog · 8 years ago

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I am so sorry.

I made a stupid mistake tonight, I’m very aware. I know that no one will blame me to my face but I know I caused this and I’m so very very sorry.

The choices I made were reckless, dangerous and just plain stupid and I didn’t pay the price. I walked away, others didn’t.

James was a good man. He let me drive him places even though he knew I was a bad driver and it was a white knuckle ride, I trashed his new bike less than an hour after he bought it and I kicked him in the face when I was trying to climb a ladder but he always laughed about it. He wasn’t a negative person. He was kind, loyal and I was lucky to call him my friend.

I’m so sorry for the sadness I’ve brought to the family of the Unicorn, who welcomed me in with open arms. I’m sorry to the people who cared and loved James. If i could go back and change what happened, I would. Believe me, I would.

I also need to say thank you.

Thank you to all those who tried to help. Chris and Stormy - For keeping me calm in the basement and trying to protect me. I hope you’re both safe. LSPD for trying so hard to free me safely. You guys were real heroes tonight. Finally to the others, I know who you are and what you did. Thank you. I hope this isn’t the last time we speak.

With everything in mind that has happened over the last few hours I have decided to take a break from the blog. I need some time to consider my future and if being a number 1 reporter is my calling in life.

For now I’ll stick to mountain hikes and yoga on the alien homage.

Till next time.

- Bonnie

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secretsofsantos-blog · 8 years ago

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For Little Red...

This post comes with a dedication to Little Red. You know the pretty lady. She works at the Vanilla Unicorn and has a heart of gold. Smart, pretty she ticks all the boxes. Isn’t Miguel lucky?

Yesterday, Lil Red and I were feeling adventurous so we hired a speed boat and took a trip around the island. The sights were gorgeous, the crystal blue sea, the bight fluorescent coral that glittered in the sun, it was all a spectacular sight.

As we traveled around the island we found many secluded bays and beaches, some with hikers resting, other empty but with jet skies floating on the water.

It was around these areas that Little Red noticed them. Orcas.(I didn’t have my camera set up at this point) They were swimming around the bay and even approaching the boat.

As we traveled further along we saw hammer heads, white sharks and even a brown one (which Red names jaws).

We realised the creatures were swimming very close to the jet skies and in some cases were hit by them and the jet skiers didn’t care. It was sad to see.

Red asked me to write this post to remind people that the sea is their home and we’re using it. We need to be careful and not hurt these animals.

If you’re jet skiing around LS, be perceptive and careful.

- Bonnie

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secretsofsantos-blog · 8 years ago

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I DID IT! I GOT AN INTERNSHIP AT WEAZEL NEWS WITH ONE OF LIBERTY CITIES FINEST ACTION JACK!

BONNIE

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secretsofsantos-blog · 8 years ago

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Don’tcha Wanna Dance?

Tonight was filled with entertainment and it all took place at the Vanilla Unicorn.

I also got to cross something off my bucket list: Dancing on a stage.

Tonight during V.U Private show, Little Red (who is a very smart lady) invited me to dance with her... on the stage!

I was nervous, timid and feeling a little sick. What would this do to my rep? Would people stop looking at me as a real reporter? Would people whisper about it behind my back?

Then I realised, what does it matter? This might be my first and last chance to try something daring, off the rails and give myself the confidence boost.

So I took to the stage. New to a poll and opposite Miss Red and we dance.

And we did a fucking good job.

The music was pounding, the atmosphere buzzing and I felt alive.

When the song finished and reality settled in, I was again little Bonnie, a small Bunny in a large city.

But for that moment, I felt... a buzz? A power? I don’t know how to describe it. You just have to try it.

I wasn’t trying to be a crude, throw me your cash cheap dance and neither was Miss Red, this was rich planned well thought out choreography.

- Bonnie

EDIT: GUS!

Chris, the ex stuntman dropped me a message, inviting me to a show at the VU, apparently the service man was going to put on a little karaoke.

By karaoke he meant a full blow concert. Gus was amazing. He played all the classics like Free bird, Careless Whisper and even I want it that way!

His voice was like silk, the room was filled with dry ice, giving off the feeling of intimacy and I honestly don’t believe him when he says he only performs karaoke.

Los Santos, get this man a record deal. He deserves it!

- Bonnie

P.S Little Red did more amazing dancing to accompany Gus and honestly her moves are jaw dropping.