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@magpie-69 thank you sweets 💖 and to all of you in this grief boat, am giving hugs right back at cha. My heart misses my brother, the love of my life, and 3 very important friends that were my partners in crime. It’s been a tough one 2019 just hasn’t been the same with all the heavy loses. But I think of all my lost loved ones every day.

For all of us that go into 2020 missing someone

Tag someone or yourself

@on-to-better-days @adonai-and-amma @nyxidervish @instructor144 @magpie-69

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I don’t think I’ve ever read something that hit home so well. I’ve spent a life taking care of other people. Of pushing forward and having to be forever the care taker. One thing that I crave is the ability to find a partner that is willing to take the reins, that we and build enough trust together that on the days where I just simply tired of being in charge, he takes the abundant love and provides. Of all the things I want, it is this.

Him: Are you feeling tired already?

Me: *more than an hour before bedtime curled up with my eyes closed* “I don’t know if I’m tired so much as I’m ready to not be in charge of my life any more.”

Words I never thought I would say honestly. I’ve been in control for so long. Because I needed to be. Because I was expected to be. Because there were times that I wasn’t in control (and no one else was either) and there were serious repercussions.

Being able to make a deliberate decision to allow someone else to be in control of me in that setting, to let go of the focus, the pressure, the constant vigilance... is freeing in a way I never considered to be possible before. He’s always been willing to fill this role in our relationship, but I wasn’t ready to submit before. How could I trust myself to choose the right person to submit to when so many of my previous decisions were wrong?

But experiencing this right here, right now, it’s something I never expected. After a more-than-full day of being in charge at work and at home with the kids, to be able to let go and let him lead is absolutely amazing.

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This is beautiful. This is also the first Xmas without my brother. It’s been damn hard 😭 I think of him and the others I’ve lost and those that share this moment of missing the ones that should be here.

Dear @submissive-seeking

The view of the stars at my Dad's is not of the same glory as the view of them out to sea, or in a desert somewhere. But, it is so much better than at home and I wished to share them with you. I am thinking of you and your family on this Yule morning. And I am thinking of others who have crossed to the other side, and their families too.

💜💜💜

@adonai-and-amma

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Antonio Canova (1757-1822) – Aphrodite et Adonis

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"Mine"

I love when I’m referred to in the possessive form.

I like when he says, “You’re mine,” or “I want my girl,” or “What’s my slut up to today?”

I love feeling like I *belong* to him. I get the most amazing subbie girl rush.

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Dominance..

Dominance is being there for her. Dominance is working through her meltdowns. Dominance is accepting her, especially when she won’t accept herself. Dominance is telling her no. Dominance is quieting her demons. Dominance is being her bastion of strength. Dominance is encouraging her. Dominance is comforting her. Dominance is guiding her. Dominance is building her.

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💯💯💯

Don't you love when...

Daddy is on top of you, leaning down really close to your face, that you can feel his breath on your lips, and then asks "do I make you nervous, sweetie?" 💗

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Corruption

I know I can’t fuck you. It would be highly unethical, given our relative positions, our power dynamics. So no, I’m not going to fuck you.

But God almighty I want to.

I see you from across the room, the way your hair falls, and all I want is to tangle a hand in it and wrench your head up, hold you there with your lips an inch away from mine.

Have you ever had your hair pulled? I mean really pulled, pulled well, so that you forfeit all control of your head and neck and feel that delicious pain at your scalp that makes you gasp, that reminds you that you’re at someone’s mercy?

I want to show you that. I want to see your eyes go wide as you understand for the first time how this is supposed to feel, what power really is. I want to watch your lips part, hear the sound that escapes them, as you’re overcome with my nearness and your need to kiss me. I want to feel you struggle against my hand in your hair, straining to bring your lips to mine, trembling with that need and your own powerlessness.

And when in one swift motion I shove you up against the wall, pin your arms, shove a thigh between your legs and press into you… I want to hear you gasp. I want to see the shock in your eyes as you realize how hot this makes you. You would buck your hips helplessly against me, still straining for that kiss, desperation growing in your body. I would watch with a slow smile on my face as you writhed helplessly, so undone by just the proximity of my lips. I’ll watch that awareness trickling slowly through your arousal-fogged mind as you start to imagine what else I might be able to do to you. What I could reduce you to.

I want to watch all of that flicker through your face, see your body go still in realization and your mouth open in shock and anticipation… And then I want to kiss you, hard and savage, pressing into you and pulling your hair even harder. I want to feel the soft warm desperation of your mouth on mine, the mindless questing of your hips, I want to hear you moan low in your throat as you surrender yourself to your pleasure, to my will.

I want to teach you all this in an instant. I want to watch you come undone.

And then, my dear, I will show you what I’m really capable of.

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2019-11-09

https://www.instagram.com/hwantastic79vivid/

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Word to the wise 😂🤣

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🤣