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[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 27

Warning: GORE, violence, harsh language, fluff

This was what he was meant to do. Despite his feeble human body, all his senses were on high alert. The bottomless anger of his prey tickled his nostrils and made his mouth water. A brief glimpse into their thoughts had been enough to trigger his lust for the hunt. There was just so much to draw inspiration from – broken lives begging to be ended.

He might have let them get away, just as he had done so often over the last months, if they hadn’t turned their criminal thoughts to his girl. He had seen what they wanted to do to her – it made their actions towards the previous owner of the store seem like child’s play.

For a fleeting moment his attention turned back to the energy that had scared him so much, but it hadn’t moved any closer. In fact, it was still at the same place, and his prey moved steadily away under his lead. Of course they didn’t know he was taking them into solitude and darkness. Just a couple of words had been enough to anger them and turn their attention towards him, just as he had come to expect from foolish humans. They were too drunk to walk steadily, but their anger gave them the energy to follow him regardless.

Penny turned down another street and finally reached the deserted shore of the Kenduskeag. It was too cold for the usual array of couples and prostitutes, just as he liked it. He came to a halt and turned around slowly. And there they were, like the obedient stupid filthy creatures they were, ready to become his meal. Oh, the multitude of choices to make – should he devour them then and there? Entrap them and keep them for later? Take them to his lair and have fun? The second option was probably the better one, considering that at least one of his enemies was in town. Less suspicious.

They stumbled closer, brandishing their ridiculous knifes like that Bowers boy he used to toy with. If he set them upon his enemy, would they take care of them? Or would they fail? It didn’t matter, Penny was hungry. Better to eat them and then think of something.

Another quick scan gave Penny his first idea. How convenient of one of them to fear drowning and one of them to fear squids.

Squids.

How pathetic.

How human.

Of course not any old squid would do. It had to be something big, with milky blind eyes across all its tentacles, a huge beak he could click menacingly, and wonderfully cold and slimy skin. Also, spikes. Spikes never failed to scare humans (except for his little girl) and the additional injuries they created were very useful in further weakening and terrifying his prey. Just for fun he could emit a strong smell of decaying fish and stale water – involving all senses usually gave the best results, and humans tended to forget how powerful any sort of scent could be. Penny started changing, grinning until his mouth morphed. As a finishing touch he added tiny sharp teeth to his suckers.

His prey had stopped dead in its tracks. One of them peed himself, the other dropped his knife.

“What the fuck, bro…”

Determined to not listen to their disgusting voices any further, he shot his long tentacles forward and grabbed them, squeezing hard enough to rob them of their breath. His suckers drew blood and the ecstasy of that brief taste almost made him lose control. But he restrained himself, and dragged his body to the canal. The river allowed him to travel much faster.

Surely he could have just warped himself to his lair, but where was the fun in that? The water entered the lungs of his prey, slowly drowning them. They tried to fight, the one who still had his knife even attempted to slice himself free, but the alcohol and the shock of the cold made them weak.

Not that they would have had a chance in the first place.

He could taste their panic rise, making their blood sweeter and sweeter and giving him more and more strength.

Despite being completely out of practice, he had planned his water ride perfectly. By the time they reached his lair, the two men were almost dead – but not enough to not be brought back by some more horror. To entertain himself just a little further, he changed into one of their former victims and started jerkily moving towards them. The sight of them trying to recover from their ride enough to crawl away was something that never failed to excite him. His female form only allowed him to move slowly, though. They had violated her so much her body had lost its shape, with her broken bones making her extremities stick out in weird angles. They had also almost flayed her skin off with their knifes.

A brief memory rose in his mind, a memory of his precious girl having her clothes and skin dangling off of her.

Rage welled up inside of him and swallowed his restraint. With a roar his body changed again, this time into his spider self, and he tore into his first victim. His chelicerae dug into its belly, ripping it open. The intestines spilled to the ground, and the twitching body fell into them. Penny didn’t hear it, nor did he hear the screams of the other man. Again he struck, this time tearing of a leg. Blood, flesh and bits of gut covered his head and body. His other victim had composed itself enough to run away. In a flash Penny was behind the man, slamming him to the ground and using one of his large hairy legs to hold him down. He used his pedipalps to pick up the mangled remains of the man he had attacked first.

Surprisingly, he was still alive, although barely so. That made eating him all the more enjoyable. As Penny bit off his head, the blood sprayed everywhere, especially in the face of the man he still held down.

He originally had planned to keep some leftovers for later, but once he started, his ravenous hunger didn’t allow him to stop. Soon, there was not a single shred left, and, for the first time in decades, Penny felt a little full. He had changed back into his clown form, resting in the crater his impact had created eons ago. The familiar sleepiness after every meal slowly crept up, but it felt slightly different from before. He couldn’t understand why.

Had it not been glorious?

Had he not longed to once more strike terror into the hearts of men?

Their fear had made him feel like his former strong, invincible self again, as he had been fifty-four years ago, before those insolent kids had found him. Now, at least one of them was back in Derry. It had been so long he wasn’t sure which one it was – they had to be at least sixty-five years old, and they surely had changed over the years. Also, hadn’t the energy been much weaker? Wasn’t that the reason why he hadn’t picked it up earlier? A strange emotion overcame him.

It was… relief.

Penny watched as his trembling hands became still once more. He hadn’t realized just how tense he had been, and it made him furious at himself. After all he was the devourer, the curse of that feeble human world, a god of fear and pain, way above those pathetic humans.

Except for one.

The mental image of his girl obliterated all other thoughts, and his body reacted immediately. Gone was the fatigue, gone was the fear, and gone was the triumph he had just felt. Instead another need drove him mad, much more powerful than his hunger had been. It had been several days since they had mated, and his body craved hers more than it craved further food.

That realization surprised him. He couldn’t fathom what had caused that change, nor understand it. She had been so tired, busy with that stupid human enterprise of hers, her face becoming gaunt once more. Penny didn’t want to rob her of her much needed rest, so he had satisfied himself with watching her sleep in his arms. She looked so tiny, so fragile, yet utterly comfortable. Just like so many times before he had wondered whether she truly understood just how easily he could kill her if he desired.

But he didn’t desire it anymore. At first only the lack of excitement she gave him had kept her safe. Now she had made both of them addicts to the pleasure of their bodies. He thought back to the last time they had sex. The urge to fill her entire body, every inch of her with him had so easily overpowered him, making him forsake any restraint. Afterwards Penny had been afraid he had done too much, that he had hurt her, injured her.

Curious, considering he had just attempted to eat her only moments before – another situation he still didn’t understand as well. She had tasted only of herself, and he had been determined to follow through with devouring her, just to be rid of the confusion and the uncertainty. But when his true self, the deadlights, had attempted to absorb her soul, something went wrong. There had been an echo of himself in her, an echo that in turn resonated inside himself. He couldn’t do it, and he would never be able to.

She was his, but apparently he was hers as well.

Even the thought of a mere human holding such power over himself no longer disturbed Penny the way it had before his ill-fated attempt to snack on her.

His desire arose once more, and Penny decided to look for her. Surely enough time had passed. She would be home in her bed, and he would pull off her panties so he could plunge his tongue into her, taste her, as she twitched and moaned for him...

A sudden realization shook him to his core.

He had left her at her store, left her in the possible presence of his arch enemy.

What if they knew she was his? What if they did something to her?

He had thought he feared his enemy. He had thought he knew true fear.

But that was nothing compared to the panic he now felt.

He leaped up and flew through the night, rushing as he had never done before. Within a heartbeat that still felt like an eternity he had arrived at her house and saw her window was open. He jumped through it, prepared for the worst –

And was greeted by warm arms that curled around him. His precious girl crushed herself into him, crying desperately. Penny picked her up, nuzzling his nose against the soft spot of her neck, and breathed in deeply. Her scent washed away all the anguish, and her familiar bony frame calmed his racing heart. She buried her fists in his hair in what he presumed was an attempt to hold him even closer.

“Penny, you’re here, you’re okay…” She repeated the words like a prayer, only interrupted by her own sobs.

“I am, I am. What is wrong? Did they hurt you?” Though he didn’t smell any blood, he still tried to look at her body to make sure she was uninjured. But she refused to let go, and he didn’t want her to hurt herself.

“I was so worried you’d get hurt and disappear. I thought they’d gotten to you.” Her voice broke again, a sound that wounded him deeply. “And your phone was dead, and I couldn’t reach you…”

Fuck, he had completely forgotten about the toy she had given him. Now that she had mentioned it he felt the weight in his pocket, but he was pretty sure that the battery had been empty for some days.

She looked up, her hauntingly large eyes overflowing with tears. He licked them away, over and over again, until she finally let out something between a hiccup and a chuckle.

“You’re tickling me.”

“I know.” Penny gave her his most dazzling smile, all gleaming teeth, and she leaned against him with a sigh.

“What do we do about the people who’re trying to hurt you?” Her voice was full of determination. His girl was ready to fight for him, and his body reacted immediately. The yearning was back full force.

“I don’t know yet.”

“You said you’ve encountered them before, right? What’s your hibernation cycle again? Twenty years or something like that?

“Twenty-seven years, to be exact.”

“So they must be at least over fifty-five years old now, right?”

He nodded.

“That doesn’t sound like there’s too much they should be able to do now. They’re not exactly the youngest anymore.”

“Age isn’t important. They were kids when they first nearly killed me.” He couldn’t help shuddering.

“Well, I guess, you shouldn’t come into Derry in the meantime. I think our house should be safe, since we’re very much at the outskirts, but it would be better if we don’t risk you running into one of them.”

He knew what she said was rational, but he didn’t like it at all. It would mean less time together with her. As if she’d read his thoughts she sighed.

“Guess I’ll have to work out a schedule to sneak into the sewers again, huh. By the way, what happened to the two dudes you were with?”

Penny swallowed. His girl knew technically what he was, but he still wasn’t sure how she’d react if he told her. The silence expanded, lasting way too long to be broken. Finally, she put her hands on his cheek.

“Did you eat them?”

Penny didn’t want to look at her. What if she’d turn away in disgust? Somehow his feast seemed much less glorious all of a sudden. He nodded.

“They were bad people?”

He nodded again, and another long silence followed. Jumbled thoughts ran through his mind. Was she put off? Would she no longer be his?

What would he do if she no longer wanted him?

At last, she spoke, and her words pierced the core of his existence.

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 26 (smut)

Warning: Harsh language, violence, smut

He was all over me, literally. Whilst he kept my lips and tongue busy with his, his hands roamed across my body, gently caressing every square inch of it. The last tattered remains of my clothes fell off, but his silken gloves kept me warm against the cold air. I sucked on his lower lip to encourage him further, and in response he leaned into me. The sensation of his touch multiplied, and during a breath pause to draw breath I opened my eyes. Penny had sprouted another two pairs of arms, giving him a slightly spider-like appearance.

Whilst he played with my hair, he simultaneously worjed my erect nipples, kneading them; pinching them just enough to illicit a sweet stinging pain. And all the while his hands wandered down further, along my hips, in between my thighs. I pressed harder against him, the familiar desperate yearning overcoming any sense of self-control I had left. There needn’t be any more barriers between us, nothing to separate us – I had been inside him, literally, for fuck’s sake – and I tore at his clothes, fighting against the last veil of silk that stood between us.

His chuckle was barely audible, more of a deep rumble that went through his body right into mine. The hands in my hair disappeared and the pressure against me lessened, but before I could protest his fingers slipped inside me. My insides clamped down on him in an unconscious effort to pull him further along, and their effort was rewarded; Penny’s finger went deeper and deeper into me, as if they were growing in length. The weirdest sensation filled my stomach – his gloves, he must have popped his gloves – and a heartbeat later he touched that sweet, sweet spot.

I screamed as the orgasm hit me like a sledge hammer, but Penny was nowhere near done. His body pressed back against mine, finally rid of clothes and all decency, and he held me so tight I was no longer able to breathe properly. He was still mercilessly working my pussy, but another hand made its way between my ass cheeks. I briefly and very feebly thought about protesting, but in response he pressed against my G-spot again. Whether it was because I was dripping wet or by some transformation of his, his fingers quickly spread some hot liquid around my asshole. Then he inserted one.

One moment, there was the sensation of having soiled myself; then he pushed through the barrier and there was some pain. It didn’t last long, though, as having him inside both front and back quickly overwhelmed me. Still, it wasn’t enough for him. His tongue swelled up, almost forcing my jaws apart, and picked up the rhythm of his fingers as it thrust deeper and deeper into me. As he had swallowed me whole, enveloping me completely, he now filled my up with himself in every way possible. I no longer could feel any ending to my body, nor the beginning of his; all of my senses were filled with him alone.

Again, there was a brief pause as he withdrew his fingers from my pussy, then he shoved his dick into me. I came immediately, and this time it lasted. Wave after wave hit me, eroding my sense of self further and further. Something was different from all the times we had had sex before – something inside me had changed. It resonated with Penny in a way that was difficult to understand – like two sound waves with just the right frequency to suddenly amplify each other.

That resonance almost tore me apart, and I screamed on the top of my lungs as Penny shuddered and came.

The following week was entirely governed by the last minute preparations for both Bee’s return as well as the store opening, which would coincide. With Auntie’s help I fought my way through the rooms and seemingly unending layers of garbage and dirt. Thankfully Bee had already declared her intentions to renovate the whole apartment by herself, and she had spent countless hours picking colors and some new furniture from catalogs. The little insurance money she got wouldn’t allow for much more, but her DIY-attitude had significantly improved over the last days. We just made sure the dirt was gone and that the facilities worked; which they did. Still, by the time I was done every evening I did little more than hit the shower and fall into bed.

Penny found his own way to keep me company – he usually waited in my room, made good use of the phone I had gotten him, and occasionally accompanied me on my ways in the form of a big orange tabby. At night he would cradle me in his arms, making our fight seem like nothing more than a bad dream.

I didn’t have the energy to discuss it any further, either; nor could I bring myself to tell him I still felt rather overwhelmed by the sex we had had. It was a weird, uncomfortable balance that I just couldn’t deal with.

He had carried me home that night, wrapped into silk-like sheets he had miraculously produced, and he had washed me in our tiny shower. I was still entirely beside myself – I didn’t even spend a thought on auntie – and just stood there as he rinsed away his cum that poured out of my body.

He even tucked me into bed.

When the big day finally arrived, I was too tired to feel the least bit excited. I almost fell asleep twice during school, but fortunately no one noticed. It was Friday, and I was excused for the last lesson (P.E.), so I got to leave early. That also meant there was no chance of any potential bully waiting for me, and I didn’t bother checking my bike for any manipulations, as there hadn’t been any for quite a while. Of course, that didn’t turn out too well – somebody had opened the valves of my tires, and by the time I got to the shop, there was no air left in them. I didn’t care, though, as I had to prepare the little buffet auntie had organized for me (nothing major, just some tea and coffee, and some cupcakes she had surprised me with in the morning). After I finished that, I went through the registry and my documents for the last time, in a desperate attempt to not think about Penny and focus on the task at hand.

A quick glance at my watch told me that I had about fifteen minutes left before the official opening hours started. I briefly wondered whether anyone would show up at all – Auntie and I had invested in some flyers, and we had distributed them both at her working place as well as my school. I had also thrown the remaining ones into random mail boxes on my various ways. Despite that, my reputation might very well end up keeping any potential customer from actually seeking the store – my store, I reminded myself – out.

For the first time in a long while I thought back to Yaneesha, Shot and the other idiots that despised me so much. The reason for their unwavering hate was still very much of a mystery to me, but I couldn’t bring myself to wish them harm. After all, they had ultimately suffered bigger losses than I did, and ever since Yaneesha had left school, I hadn’t been physically attacked anymore.

At least not by humans.

I sighed and unlocked the doors.

To my big surprise a couple of people entered while I was putting out the huge board I had painted. They roamed around the shelves, and a tiny silver-hair lady even told me how happy she was that the store was open again. I vaguely remembered her face and came to the conclusion that she was one of the very few somewhat regular visitors. Didn’t she have a fondness for novels? I directed her towards some new arrivals, which prompted my first successful sale.

It was somewhat difficult to believe, and the whole situation felt unreal. Something about the ordinariness was quite at odds with the crazy circus my life had become. I answered questions, recommended books, and made a couple of other sales. It wasn’t much, but still a whole lot more than what I’d expected – nothing.

Auntie joined me after I had been open for ninety minutes, and I could tell how tired she was. We both forced smiles, and despite my best efforts, she insisted on staying with me, though her face grew paler by the minute. Just when I had convinced her to sit down and stop fussing, her face lit up with recognition.

“Oh, you didn’t tell me he was coming. How nice!”

I whirled around just to see Benny-Penny standing outside the store, a red balloon on a string in his hands. For some reason that really touched me – I was just glad auntie sat behind me, so she couldn’t see the stupid smile spreading across my face. I rushed out and grasped his hands.

“I’m so glad you’re here”, I gushed. “I can’t believe you’re willing to go through this… Are you okay?”

He nodded, a familiar twinkle in his eyes, and handed me the balloon. It even read “Congratulations” on it. After quickly wiping my eyes I ushered him inside, ignoring the weird vibrations that built up in my stomach.

Penny looked utterly out of place, a wonderful mixture of awkwardness and otherworldly beauty that was just a tick off – probably not enough for anyone to realize but enough to cause the other visitors to show signs of unease. It was almost comical – a guy in a rather fancy suit started fiddling with his tie, a young girl put her jacket back on, and a group of teens moved closer together. Despite the fact that it wasn’t a good thing unnerve the people who I was supposed to sell to, it was still entertaining to observe. And I couldn’t help myself but marvel at his human form; the way his muscles visibly moved beneath the thin, tight sweater he was wearing; the way that ass looked in that pair of jeans; the way his movements were still the same as in his clown form.

I quickly went into the back room and tied the balloon to my backpack, not wanting to leave Penny alone for too long; but by the time I had returned he sat beside auntie and they chatted away merrily. He laughed – that wonderful, over-the-top crazy laugh of his, and shook his head. Auntie smiled, said something and started chuckling. For a moment she looked much younger, the stress lines fading, and my heart started hurting again.

How I wished I could see her like that every day.

I joined them, but I admittedly didn’t pay much attention, nor contribute much to the conversation – I was just content to see auntie and Benny-Penny happy. My odd behavior wasn’t noticed, though; Benny told one joke after another, and soon, my costumers had circled around us, joining in on the laughs. From time to time I could have sworn I saw a glint of something in Benny’s eyes, but it always disappeared so quickly I couldn’t be sure.

It was a rather pleasant experience to have him around. Time flew by quickly, and making sales felt like something I did on the side whilst I was mainly focusing on Benny. Finally the last pulk of people left the store, and I waved after them. Auntie stood up and started cleaning the buffet table; throwing away crumbled napkins and stacking plates. I offered to help, but she refused me; so I started counting the money I had made. When she left to bring the plates upstairs to the apartment, I dropped all pretence and threw myself into Benny’s arms.

“Thank you for coming”, I whispered, somewhat at a loss at how to convey the deep gratitude I felt.

He just patted my head, but I could feel how exhausted he was. I understood all too well – being around other humans and having to act normally was difficult enough for me, and I was part of their race. I reached up and cradled his cheek in my hand.

“I will make this up to you, I promise.”

Benny’s head shot up so fast I didn’t realize he had moved for a second.

Something was wrong.

His face had become devoid of emotion, the smile that had just been there completely gone, and there was an orange hue in his eyes. He stood utterly still.

“What’s the matter?”

“One of them is coming closer.”

“Who?”

“One of them.”

It took me a second to put his words and his behavior together.

“You mean… the ones that hurt you?”

He nodded, his eyes turning ever more orange. I took his hands and pulled him around to face me.

“Listen, if you need to get out of here, go. But I don’t think you’re in danger – you look like a human, you’re in a fucking bookstore, and besides, I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, okay?” That had absolutely no effect whatsoever. He was still as tense as before. “Penny, I promise, you’re safe.”

He slowly lowered his eyes, exhaling loudly. Not even a second later, he tensed up again. This time, he was watching someone outside. I turned around and saw two young men walking down the street. They held brown paper bags and yelled loudly, pushing each other constantly. My somewhat rusty instinct for bad situations told me they were trouble.

“They want to trash your shop.”

I didn’t even question him; I was too focused on the fact that they had changed direction and were now clearly walking up to us.

“I won’t allow that.” I reached into my pocket for my phone, with every intention to call the cops, but this time, Penny grabbed my hands. He had the weirdest little smile, and his left eye started drifting to the side. For some reason, I got goosebumps. I could only watch as he left me and stood in front of the duo. They shouted something, he replied, and the three of them walked away.

What was I supposed to do? I still had my phone in my hand, and I contemplated dialing 911. But what should I say? That I had possibly evaded big trouble? That my killer clown boyfriend had just left with the troublemakers and they’d better start searching for the leftovers, if there would be any? And that Pennywise might be in danger? Hello officer, you know, there’s this creature that kills and feeds on humans, and I love him very much, and he got spooked, so could you please start an investigation, and by the way, clean up after him?

“Where’d he go?”

Auntie had come back to me and looked out the door. I shook my head, gathering my jumbled thoughts.

“Oh, his mom called, he’s supposed to help her with something.”

“It was nice of him to stop by.”

“Yeah, very nice.” I still stared at the corner around which they had disappeared, as if I could make my gaze bend around it to follow them and make sure everything was okay.

“Is everything alright? Did you quarrel?”

“Oh no, I guess I’m just… a little overwhelmed with everything.” My attempt at a reassuring smile was bad at best, but somehow auntie bought it.

“Oh well, it’s been some hectic weeks for both of us.”

I nodded. A quick glance at my phone told me it was time to close down. That, thankfully, wouldn’t take long. However, there was still-

“Look who’s come!”

For the second time that day, a very welcome visitor approached the store. This time it wasn’t my favorite alien killer clown, it was Bee; with a large suitcase in hand and a warm smile on her face.

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 25

Warning: Harsh language, violence

His jaws closed around me, swallowing me whole. Powerful muscles moved me further down his throat, driving my body against the myriad of teeth that sliced my skin. Pitch black darkness consumed me. As I was moved further and further down that fleshy tube, it didn’t stay dark, though; through the pain I noticed some sort of light slowly approaching me. In the emerging twilight I could see the little tentacles sprouting around me, eagerly sucking up the blood gushing from my open wounds. After several heartbeats, the light source finally came into my view, and I forgot everything around me, even the pain.

Three fiery, rotating orbs slowly approached me. They circled around each other in a mesmerizing dance, spinning faster and faster as they came closer. Their glow reflected off the yellowish teeth and the slimy pink flesh, casting a whirlwind of dancing shadows and rainbow reflections along their path.

It was the most beautiful sight I’d ever beheld.

The orbs radiated an incomprehensible otherworldliness that would have certainly frightened the living shit out of me if I had been able to be afraid. Distant cries and screams echoed all around me; however, I only perceived peace – it reminded me so much of my dream, when I had been engulfed in that warm, glowing bubble.

Finally.

I didn’t even notice the grin spreading across my face, nor the taste of my own blood in my mouth. Meanwhile the orbs where spinning so fast they melted into a fiery ring, ever growing before me, until it was big enough to fit all around me. When they reached me, I closed my eyes, perfectly at peace for the first time. I felt their touch on my face, an electric jolt of enormous proportions, and gave myself up as they flowed through the tears in my skin, burning their way into my core.

_____________________________________________________________

Of course, it wasn’t over – why would it ever be? The sensation only lasted for a heartbeat; then I was violently jerked backwards. The lights disappeared from my sight with superhuman speed, whilst the iron hard muscles crushed me as they pushed me backwards through the tube of flesh and teeth. That also meant the pain was back, the teeth not only slicing my skin, but digging deeper and further into me, slashing into my muscles, whilst the tentacle-like suckers writhed as if in extreme agony.

Fortunately it didn’t last long – it could only have been a few seconds – and I was spat out unto the cold concrete. The sensation of the hard ground and the freezing air came as an utter shock after the tranquility before.

A familiar wail filled the air. Disoriented and half-blind with blood and saliva, I crawled towards it, until my hands found the silk ruffles. I buried myself in them and felt them close around me, engulfing me in cool softness. Nestled deeply in the fabric, I was dimly aware of being moved at a ridiculous speed.

My eyes were still crusted with fluids, and the shock of what had happened left me only half aware of my surroundings. My nostrils and my ears worked just fine, however; and a familiar scent soon filled my nose. Together with the sloshing sounds it told me where I was – back in the Derry sewer system.

Home at last.

My broken body was gently lowered on a soft surface, and something warm and very wet washed over my face. Again and again it touched me ever so gently, until I could feel the grime and crust dissolve. Simultaneously the pain lessened and lessened, until it became more of distant thumping rather than a sharp burning.

The licking sensation now extended to my entire body, washing away all discomfort. I sighed and opened my eyes.

Penny loomed over me, his clown features barely recognizable beneath layers of my blood. His eyes had turned the deepest shade of orange I’d ever seen, but he didn’t radiate any aggressive energy. He was quite busy licking every inch of me, and his saliva had already closed most of the wounds, leaving only pink lines criss-crossing all over my skin. The tattered, crusty remains of my clothes were the only left-overs from his attempt to eat me.

I was still very much in shock – not from fear, but from being exposed to the unforgiving world after that tranquil place. Being born must feel the same way, I thought to myself. My hands reached out on their own, cradling Penny’s cheeks against them. His face slowly spilled out from between my fingers, and I sat up to pull him closer to me, to contain his melting form between my thin limbs. He was so big and there was so much of him; how could I possibly succeed? Still, I couldn’t NOT try to; even if I did my body wouldn’t have listened to me either way.

Between the aftereffects of the shock, the numerous substances I was covered in and Penny not having a solid form, I only realized after a while that the liquid running over my hands was neither saliva nor blood.

Penny was crying.

So was I, I discovered.

Like so many times before, I couldn’t tell in hindsight how long we stayed like this. Only when the feeling in my body was back to somewhat normal I dared to speak again.

“Are you alright?” It was a poor, pathetic attempt to tell him how worried I was, how much he meant to me, how sorry I was.

“I don’t know.” His voice echoed the same confusion I felt, somehow magnifying it because it was Pennywise who said it.

“Why… Why didn’t you eat me?”

No answer, though I felt it was because he truly didn’t know.

I tried a different approach.

“What were those lights?” Since Penny remained silent, I added: “They were so beautiful.”

His huge frame started twitching, and I realized he tried to get his form together. At last his eyes focused on me.

“Those lights… They are me. My true form.”

I traced my finger across his cheeks, gently stroking them.

“Well, I always thought you were handsome. So when they… when you touched me… What happened?”

Penny’s gaze drifted away, but I was sure he was only gathering his thoughts. After a while he sat up and cradled me against his chest.

“I don’t understand it, little one. Normally, seeing me… my true self… would kill you. You’d die of fear, and I’d absorb you soul and digest your flesh. But when I touched you, I couldn’t absorb you. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t; physically, if you will. And then all your emotions flooded into me.”

It took me a while to process that new information. I had always thought my lack of fear only meant he wouldn’t enjoy my taste, that eating me would be equivalent to forcing down some disgusting vegetables or something; not that it would make him throw up. What had been the most wonderful experience for me had made him sick.

I had made him sick.

“Am I… dangerous for you?”

“I don’t know, little one. Are you?” Though he cackled at the question, I could tell he was honestly wondering.

“I could never intentionally hurt you. I’m sorry for what I said before. I was frustrated.”

Penny reply was slow, as if he was testing out the words that left his mouth.

“I believe so was I, little one. I’ve never, in all the eons I’ve lived, ever experienced anything like this.”

“So, no one has ever seen your true self… and lived?”

“No…” Penny stopped, and his eye color changed once again, turning dark red.

“There once was a girl… She and her friends nearly killed me.”

I sat up and stared at him. Penny appeared to be just as shocked as I was, though perhaps for other reasons.

“You mean, a human did that to you? That a human was the reason you were so wounded when we first met?”

He nodded, looking away. He’s embarrassed, I realized.

“Wow.” I slouched back against him, wrapping his arms around myself. “No wonder you’d think of me as a threat. But Penny, I love you.” Again, the English language failed me in trying to convey my feelings. Still, he seemed to understand, because he rested his head on top of mine and sighed heavily.

“I love you too, little one. And I don’t want to eat you. Not because you’re not delicious, but because I don’t want to you to not be around.”

I chuckled at his curious way to express himself. Fortunately I wasn’t the only one struggling with words.

“So, where does that leave us?”

“I don’t know.”

We sat in silence, both pondering what had happened between us. Finally, I found I couldn’t stand the uncertainty any longer.

“So, we need to address three things, right? Firstly; your hunger – you haven’t fed since you woke up, right? Secondly, my life and my schedule – I got the opening coming up, I got Bee moving in and I need to finish school. Thirdly, our future together – whether you’ll go into hibernation again, and what I’ll do then.”

I could feel his nod, and finally, it was accompanied by merry bells jingling again. I had my Penny back.

“Until then, let’s take it one day at a time, okay?”

Again, he nodded; again, the bells jingled. I twisted around and pulled his head towards me. “In the meantime, why don’t we enjoy each other?” His low purr was answer enough. I closed my eyes and opened myself to him.

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 24

Warning: Harsh language, violence

It's not a long one - need to get back into writing. Enjoy nonetheless!

Chapter 24

Auntie listened to me and I was alone once more with broken memories and the last remains of Mr. Shanks’ life. Determined not to have to go to that place to often, I put my everything into decluttering and cleaning. When I was finally able to properly reach some of the windows and wiped them down I was almost proud of myself. The additional light coming in made the process easier, and when Auntie finally joined me, she praised my work quite a bit. I was relieved to find her much more energetic, and together the time passed much more quickly.

We made much more progress than I’d anticipated, and by the time we called quits, the entire hallway was full of garbage bags. Neither of us had the energy to take them down, however, and Auntie’s breathing sounded quite labored, so we decided to simply return home. I glanced at my phone, but I had neither missed calls nor messages. Despite my best effort to hide my annoyance, Auntie realized right away what was going on.

“Is he giving you the silent treatment?”

I sighed. “Sort of, yes.” My stomach chose that moment to start cramping again, and I coiled my arms around it. She misunderstood that gesture.

“Listen, I didn’t mean to scare him away. He’s welcome to visit you anytime, if he just uses the front door. You tell him that.”

“Yeah, I think yesterday was probably just a bit much. Thank you, though.” If only you knew…

“How about you invite him for dinner? As a peace offering?”

I really didn’t feel like going over it again, so I quickly changed the subject.

“I will. Do you think we’ll be done by the time Bee gets out of the hospital?”

“If you’ll keep this up, I’m sure of it.” Her voice sounded cheerful, but her smile was off. I grabbed her arm and turned her towards me.

“Auntie, what’s the matter with you?”

Her indignation was just as forced as her smile.

“That’s no way to talk to me, young lady.”

“Be serious. You’re sick or something, and you should see a doctor.” I hated myself for what I said next, but I couldn’t help it. “You’re worrying me.”

Oh, the irony – how many times did we have that very same talk, just with our roles reversed? Her face fell immediately.

“I’ve just worked a lot, that’s all. But there’s good news, too. We finally got another waitress, and I won’t have to do double shifts. She’ll start next week.”

I took her hand and squeezed it. “You know, when I’ve finished school and the shop’s running, you won’t have to work there anymore.”

Auntie stared at me, then she squeezed my hand back. I could see tears in her eyes.

“Thanks, child.”

When we got home Auntie disappeared into the kitchen, and I tried to call Penny. He didn’t pick up, so I just texted him, but it was getting really annoying. I felt pretty overwhelmed – my worry for Auntie mixed with the anxiety over what had happened the day before was a strong emotional cocktail, and I didn’t feel equipped to deal with it. Once more I wondered if my old zombie self wouldn’t have handled the situation easier.

We had just sat down for dinner when the doorbell rang. I was so caught up in unwanted memories of what happened between Penny and I that I didn’t understand until I opened the door.

Benny-Penny stood before me, looking rather sheepishly.

I couldn’t help myself, I had to hug him. Auntie appeared behind me, and welcomed him warmly. Penny’s muscles tensed beneath my hands, and I quickly let go. Was he still confused about the day before? His face didn’t betray anything.

“I’m happy you could come, and to meet you properly.” Auntie’s cheerful voice interrupted my brooding thoughts, and I stepped aside to make room for her. I could feel the blood rushing to my face and my ears, and fled to the kitchen to serve another portion for Penny.

When both of them entered, they were chatting rather pleasantly about Derry, and “Benny’s life” so far. His replies were swift and calm, not suspicious at all, and there was no trace of his usual over-the-top cadence. He also didn’t really look at me.

I felt like a stranger had entered our home.

“Well, young man, I hope you like mac’n cheese.” I knew auntie well enough to know she was a little stressed over the simplicity of the dish in face of a guest, as well as over the worn-down look of our little kitchen. If you only knew where he lived.

Regardless, she sat him down, and I could see the tiniest trace of disgust in his eyes – “Cardboard, disgusting” – but he bravely dug in and even managed some compliments, putting a big smile on auntie’s face. Thankfully the tension went somewhat away, and I told Penny of our efforts with the flat, which led us to the topic of the store opening. The entire situation was so absurdly normal I almost started wondering whether I just had imagined Penny’s attack.

Before long, however, auntie started yawning badly, and announced she would go to bed. I told her to leave the dishes to me, and that Benny and I would take walk. Again, she didn’t even question that – what teenage girl “takes a walk” with a young man, anyhow? When she had left us, I turned to Penny, and found him still not looking at me.

“Okay, do you mind if we somewhere else?”

He shook his head, a familiar jingling bell sound, which I took for a somewhat good sign. But when I asked him if he wanted to change into something non-human, he shook his head again, and avoided my eyes. I nearly exploded.

I grabbed his hands, ripping my jacket off its coat-hanger, and marched out of the door, dragging Benny-Penny behind me. A quick glance around me told me the street was empty, but I still waited till we were a bit further away from our house before I let loose.

“Will you please fucking tell me what’s the matter here.” My voice was shaking, which angered me even further.

He remained quiet.

“Penny, whatever happened yesterday, I don’t understand, but I want to. Has anything similar ever happened to you?”

He mumbled something that could have been a “no”.

“Was it the animal meat?”

Another head shake, with bells again.

“Is it my period?”

Penny finally looked up, and his eyes had turned slightly crimson again. But he just stared at me.

I had it.

“Listen, either you start talking to me or I’m gonna call quits. I can’t deal with this. I haven’t had my period in ages, I’m full of hormones, auntie’s probably really sick, I got the opening of the store coming up, I need to get the apartment ready for Bee, and you won’t fucking talk to me. How can I understand you if you don’t open your fucking mouth? I don’t even understand myself.” I had started shouting. All the pent up frustration spilled out of me.

“You’re not the only one who’s not been in this situation before. You’re something like a god, and I’m just a stupid human, so the least you could do is explain yourself. I told you, I’m not good at relationships. I never had one before, and of course I had to fall in love with some unearthly… thing, ‘cause everything else would have been what normal people do, and I’m not fucking normal.”

Penny whipped around and grabbed my shoulders hard. I had upset him again, but at least I got a reaction. His fingers dug into my flesh, and his face melted a little.

“I don’t know. I don’t understand. What do you expect?” He shouted, too, and his voice changed with every word, dropping lower and lower.

“You wander into my lair, you won’t leave me the fuck alone, you make me feel all those weird things, and then you expect me to act rationally? Stupid human, that’s why I hate your fucking species so much. So self-important.” Drool sprayed all over me, and our angry faces got closer and closer.

“It’s not like I chose to end up with you. You could kill me anytime, but you didn’t do it, so sorry for still being around.”

“Yeah, because it’s my fault I can’t, right. You were the one who showed me all those new things. I was perfectly fine before. I could wake up, feed and have some fun here, then go to hibernation again. Everything was just fine.”

“Oh yeah, that’s why you were awake when I found you ten years ago. That’s why you were scared out of your wits by a little girl.”

“I should just eat you and be done.” His face ripped in half, the familiar tunnel of shark teeth opened before me, just an inch away from my nose.

“Then just do it.”

And this time, he did.

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A long overdue update

Jeez, have three years really passed?

It's been a while, and I don't want anyone stumbling across this to be bored with the mundane details of what I've been doing. Let's just say I've got my life a little bit more together.

I had forgotten about this account, but I recently went through my old files and found AGPTD, and I do want to finish it.

I haven't done much writing since 2018, but I've found a new joy and fondness for this clusterfuck, and since finishing projects is my goal for 2021, this is what I'll be doing. I don't know how frequently I'll be able to post, but, nonetheless, this story will be done.

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

Update/Apology

Sorry guys, I'm sick as hell and therefore currently not writing. Only good things about fever dreams is that they can be quite inspirational. Hope you're all good <3

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 23

Warning: harsh language, violence

It was true. In an exceptional lucid moment I realized I just didn’t care about being human. I certainly had become much more humane, in a sense, but I also knew I would never quite get there entirely. I didn’t care too much about other people – except for auntie and Bee, of course – and I obviously didn’t really object to Penny feeding on them. Basically, just the knowledge of the consequences it might harbor for me or auntie, and the questions disappearing people might raise, where the main reasons I had when I stopped him from going after Yaneesha.

I still pitied her for what she had brought upon herself, but that was the end of my emotional rope. No wonder I had bonded with Pennywise – we had probably more in common than the average person on the street and me. I let my shaking hands wander about Penny’s back freely, and was rewarded by a low purr. When  I finally managed to look into his eyes (those stunningly human eyes, that barely betrayed the eternal being behind them) I could see he clearly had a moment, too.

We didn’t talk for the rest of the night, we just lay in my bed with our arms securely locked around one another. Eventually I could hear the door downstairs, and auntie’s tired footsteps. She didn’t even bother to check in on me, and just went straight to bed. Shortly after that I dozed away.

My dream that night was very outlandish and confusing to me. I relived bits and pieces of the time with I spent with Penny, while simultaneously watching everything like a movie. The longer it kept going, the stronger the feeling of being watched grew in me. I became exceedingly uncomfortable while I experienced the most beautiful memories I had once more – it felt wrong, unreal. Like I was some sort of puppet in a theatre. I tried to say something, to make Penny aware of what was going on, but I was incapable to do so.

I had no control over myself.

The moment I came to that conclusion several things happened: all the noise suddenly died, and a deafening silence engulfed me; a sudden burst of fog swallowed the people surrounding me one by one, until even Penny’s silhouette was no longer by my side; and the feeling of being watched turned into a full anxiety attack. I no longer felt like it, I was absolutely sure that there was something else with me. It hounded my every step, and it certainly did draw conclusion from them.

Whatever it was, it certainly didn’t seem to be aggressive towards me (very different from my encounter with Penny), and it also didn’t feel like something malicious. Still, I was very uncomfortable. My breathing sped up and a cold lump formed in my throat, making it harder yet to breath. The hair on my neck stood up while cold sweat trickled down my back. Though I could no longer discern where I was going, or even if there was such a thing as directions and gravity at all, I still felt a very strong need to run away and hide. Even the fog became brighter, as if my eyes had suddenly turned hypersensitive.

And I still couldn’t control my body. It just kept on going, whilst my panic attack screamed and raged inside my head. I no longer breathed, I whimpered and wailed as I marched further into the white nothingness around me. Weird thoughts and distant memories flashed literally before my eyes, cumulating into a sort of maelstrom that threatened to crush my mind. And all the time this invisible presence watched and judged me.

Some of the memories lingered a bit longer before me, others I had buried so deep within me I was surprised to see I still had them. They focused mainly on my early family life, and the abuse I had endured. Practices that would make any horror movie pale in comparison sprang to live before me, meticulously carried out by my “dad”, interrupted by worried questions about Penny’s disappearance. Endless interviews from the medical staff in the clinic took turns with Penny asking me about my species and my daily life. Auntie and Bee appeared, both with worried faces as I sunk against the wall of our kitchen, dizzy and exhausted from not eating for a week straight. Yaneesha hit me before I stood on the mystic sea serpent, blood still dripping from my nose and mouth as the wind rushed past me. Red balloons floated by as my “dad” zipped his trousers, and the smell of popcorn and cotton candy engulfed me.

I couldn’t do this anymore.

I shut myself down, remembering the time before Penny. None of my visions mattered, they belonged to the past that no longer bound me. I had found myself and my love, and I would have to come to terms that outside of our unlikely relationship things would never feel normal or be easy for me. My future was uncertain, one way or another. This knowledge calmed the chaos of my emotions to the point where I no longer really felt anything.

It didn’t matter what happened to me.

The moments I had relived at the beginning of this nightmare were the best of my life, and my own entirely. Even if my invisible stalker would harm me, or end my life, I would still have had those precious moments together with my love. My breathing steadied and my heartbeat slowed down, and I stopped any effort to regain control over my movements. I would have to sit this one out.

The moment I relinquished my feelings my surroundings changed. No longer was I surrounded by overly bright fog; instead, I found myself in what felt like an orb of soft, warm light. There was still no sign of the presence, but the feeling of being observed and judged was gone. Whatever sort of trial this had been, it was over now, and a strange sense of peace came over me.

I was comfortably warm and dry, all traces of sweat gone, and though I still couldn’t hear a thing, the silence no longer bothered me. Breath and heartbeat faded from my perception until they seemed gone, and my limbs slowly dissolved into the warm light. This place had at last turned into a home where I was safe and loved, and while my consciousness started to fade the presence came back and slowly approached me. Dimly I realized that it seemed to be the presence that radiated that feeling of peace and love.

I could stay here and I would no longer know struggle, just love.

Suddenly a pang of sadness surged through me, though I didn’t understand why.

Something… was missing.

This comforting, dulling love… wasn’t enough.

Not for me.

I screamed, my voice booming out from my mouth.

“PENNYWISE!”

The scream burst the bubble around me, collapsing it like a cheap tent in a hailstorm. The fog and the maelstrom came back with full force and tore me away from the place I had just been in, away from the presence, that seemed to almost recoil. With the last bit of my perception I thought it might have actually been an animal, but the fog thickened between us, and I surrendered my consciousness.

  I woke up with a start, drenched in sweat, and my muscles started cramping immediately, as if I had overused them all simultaneously.  Penny was gone, and seconds later my alarm rang. Fighting my own body I got up, silenced it and went straight for a hot shower. The water helped my muscles relax somewhat, but my body still ached all over. Yesterday’s events ran through my head as I watched the water whirling around my toes, and my head and stomach started hurting as if they wanted to punish me for my behavior.

However, I did manage to dress myself, brush my teeth and look somewhat basic when I entered the kitchen. Auntie sat by the table, only a cup of coffee and pills before her. She looked even worse than I felt when she answered my way-too-cheerful “good morning”. While I was fixing myself a sandwich (I wasn’t hungry, but I would need to eat something before taking painkillers) she picked up several different pills and washed them down with the coffee. It was very much unlike her to skip breakfast – she was a firm believer of the “breakfast is the most important meal” mantra.

Auntie sighed as I set down, and started the inevitable lecture.

“You know what I want to talk to you about.”

“I’m sorry for yesterday, auntie. It’s never going to happen again, I swear!”

She nodded, but this wasn’t over just yet.

“I admit, your friend is very charming, but I don’t want him climbing through any windows. That’s just not normal.”

“I know. He swore to me he would never do it again, auntie, and he has apologized for it, too.”

She grabbed my hand and leaned towards me. I could still smell the cold smoke and the fatty stench of the deep-fryer clinging to her hair.

“Listen, girl, you’re the only family I have left. I know this boy means much to you, and he certainly has influenced you in a very positive way, but I still want you to be careful, okay? There’s something… off about him.”

Oh, if you only knew.

I smiled reassuringly, stroking her arm, and replied with the kindest voice I could muster:

“I know, auntie, but I swear to you that he’s no danger to me or to you.”

She let go of me and just nodded, another uncharacteristic move. Normally this battle would have been so much harder. I didn’t know what to do, so I just stood up and made her a sandwich too. Mimicking her tone and her gestures I sat the plate down before her and chided her.

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, young lady. You’re only going to get up if you clean this plate, and I don’t want no buts, either.”

That at least made her smile a little.

I told her I was going to continue with Mr. Shanks’ apartment, and she insisted she would join me. But when she got up, she stumbled and nearly fell. There was no way I was going to let her come with me in that state, and I told her so pretty harshly.

She didn’t argue back.

I helped her back upstairs and tucked her firmly into bed.

“And I swear, if you show up before 3. p.m., I’ll roll you in the dirt so much you won’t get yourself clean for the next ten years!”

She barely nodded before she was already asleep. Watching her face relax, I sat by her for a while. There was something very wrong with her, and I had no idea what it could be or how to fix it. Her forehead felt cold to the touch, and her breathing was so shallow her chest barely moved. At a loss for what to do I gently petted her head.

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 22 (smut)

Warning: harsh language, violence

Right before Penny crashed into me, my foot slipped on the misted floor and I tumbled down, unable to steady myself in time. Pennywise crashed into the sink with enough force to bounce back over me. I hit my head pretty hard, and was momentarily stunned. The clown lost no time, pinning me down easily with one hand, while his jaw started to morph into the protruding abyss of sharp teeth. Unable to do anything, I watched as he spread my numb legs wide apart and tore into me.

A thousand sharp needles dug into my soft skin, punching holes into my lower abdomen, my inner thighs and my pussy. Penny started sucking immediately, going so hard I could feel parts of my skin tear between the wounds. Still dizzy and unable to move my limbs, I tried to look at the huge shape bent over me. His face had lost all resemblance to anything human. His eyes, which had turned a glowing burgundy, loomed over the sides of his head, his nose was entirely gone, and his jaws closed entirely around my abdominal area. In fact, my brain gave me the image of a gigantic deep-sea creature, the ones they don’t show kids because they might induce nightmares.

At that point my strength left me, and I went completely limp, unable to even access my eyeballs. My lids shut themselves, and a calming blackness approached me. I still could feel his tongue wiggling into me, trying to get to the source of my menstrual blood. It almost felt like his tongue had somehow grown hungry little mouths itself, grazing the surface of my womb for every bit of blood possible. But the pain drifted further and further away, until I no longer was aware of anything around me.

 I woke up to the strangest sight. Pennywise was still sucking on me, his face even more deformed, but something had changed. His eyes had lost all color, and there was something… desperate about him. I tried to sit up, but was immediately hit by another wave of nausea. Also, my head hurt horribly. Still, I managed to get into a sitting position, and weakly put my hands on the remnants of his hair. The skin beneath them had turned a scaly brown, and his body had somehow deflated.

I tried to speak, but nothing but a horse croak came out of my mouth. I feebly pushed against his head, not expecting any great results, but with a wet, slopping sound his mouth peeled off my lower body. It was completely lax and slopped unto the floor while his tongue was still buried in my womb.

It wiggled slowly from side to side, somehow desperate to remain within me, but just like the rest of Penny it seemed to lose its strength. Finally, his tongue slid out of me, curling up into a moist red tube. An eerie, whaling sound filled the clouded air. It sounded oddly distant in the mist, yet I knew exactly where it came from. With all my might I struggled to raise my arms further, willing them forward inch by inch, until I was finally able to hug Pennywise. His form oozed out from over- and underneath my arms.

What had happened?

What had I done?

A pain I hadn’t known before shot through me and gave me the control over my body back. I wrapped my legs around him a well in an attempt to contain all of him between my limbs.

We stayed like this for what felt like an eternity. Penny’s cries eventually subsided, and the only sounds audible were my heartbeat and my breath. After a while I nuzzled my face into the gooey sack he had become, caressing him like a wounded child. The dizziness faded, and all I was left with was one hell of a headache, but I didn’t care. My attention was solely focused on Pennywise, on that god-like horror master, who lay in my arms shivering. Sometime later, when he appeared to be more solid, I gently picked up his tongue and put it back into his mouth. It still had the little tentacle-like suckers protruding, but they appeared to be no longer… alive.

Still, Penny was able to keep his tongue in his mouth, and I noticed his eyes had shifted more to the center of his former face. They stared at me, a little more silverish than before, in an incredibly upset way. Not exactly sure of what I was doing, I gently placed a kiss on the spot that used to be his forehead, and started cradling him. I hummed a little melody from an Anime series (I had entirely forgotten the name, but the melody had been stuck in my head all the time) and kept stroking him.

When he finally started to move I felt like crying. He slowly retracted himself from my embrace, and in doing so morphed back to the clown figure I had come to love. Though he appeared to be struggling very much with doing so, he still managed to sit up and, in turn, cradled me against his chest.

“I’m sorry, little one”, he whispered.

“Don’t be”, I managed and buried my face against his shoulder.

I still struggled to understand what had happened, but I was not the only one. I could still feel him shiver, and when I looked up his face seemed to be overwhelmed with showing his emotions.

“Penny, are you okay?”

Silence.

“You’re not hurt, are you?”

Still no answer.

“Penny, I love you. Please tell me what’s going on”, I begged.

Several minutes passed before he answered me.

“You’re hurt.”

“Never mind that. What happened to you? You were… goo. I thought you died on me.” My hoarse voice broke on the last words. I sounded like some fucking orc.

“I… don’t know. You smelled so good… And I was hungry.”

He hugged me so tight I was unable to breathe, holding on to me like I was the only thing that could keep him here, in this reality.

“I ate the animal meat you gave me, and I’ve been hungry for so long.”

“So you were in a sort of feeding frenzy?”

He shrugged, and the movement together with his tight embrace lifted me up several inches.

“Did I taste good, at least?”

He grabbed me by my shoulders and held me at arm’s length to get a good look at my face. His eyes had turned a dark purple shade. It was a color I had never seen before in my life. Dots of light appeared in his iris, slowly rotating. It was a hypnotizing sight.

“You are delicious”, he rumbled. “But I could never eat you.”

I stared at him. Had he actually just said that?

He continued to hold my gaze, the dots rotating so fast they turned into fiery rings. I was sure that those rings were a gateway into another world, just like the wormholes on the old sci-fi series.

“I won’t eat you”, he repeated, his voice becoming more steady. “I won’t allow anything to happen to you. And I won’t allow me to hurt you either.”

I clutched at him and anxiously dug my nails into him, afraid of what he was implying.

“Don’t you dare leave me again!”, I rasped as loud as I could. “I can’t deal with this world on my own! I need you. I love you. I can’t feel without you!”

We stared at each other in desperation.

The silence continued until a dripping noise interrupted it. I tore my eyes away from Penny and saw my menstruation was far from over.

“I’m sorry, Penny, I need to get this cleaned up.”

His eyes flashed red for a second, but he nodded.

“I shouldn’t help you with that, sorry”, he mumbled.

I got up on shaky legs, but I found myself able to move without nausea, and set to clean the floor and myself. Fortunately auntie had a habit of hiding the little jewelry she had in a box of tampons, and I simply borrowed one of them. Penny had withdrawn himself into my room, and I made sure that there wasn’t a single drop of blood left on me before I entered.

It sucked to have my period back – I had forgotten how intense the cramps could get, and I had honestly no clue how Penny and I were supposed to deal with it. Penny obviously wasn’t “safe” around me while I bled, and it hurt him to know that. Furthermore I would really have to worry about protection from now on, though I didn’t even know if I could get pregnant from him.

With all this whirling around in my head I went back into my room only to find Penny in his human form sitting on my bed. I went straight to him and clasped his hands. At least I tried to, but mine were just so much smaller than his he ended up curling his around mine. A troubled smile appeared on his luscious lips, but the lines on his forehead didn’t fade at all.

“You know, I’m still not afraid of you”, I teased him, and kissed him briefly.

“I know”, he sighed. “But I don’t know what I might do to you. I don’t like this sensation.”

I tried to make light of the situation, both for his and my sake.

“Well, it’s not like we can just ask anybody, right? We’re no ordinary couple, no sir. Imagine auntie’s face when I come up to her and ask her for relationship advice on me and my horror-clown-shapeshifter. It would probably give her a heart-attack.”

He just stared at me, his handsome features locked in discomfort.

“Also, she might be upset about your nutritional choices. And the fact that I don’t care.”

After that also failed to receive a reaction, I just sat down on his knee and kissed him as slowly as I managed to without ravaging him right there. At least he kissed me back, and soon his hands wandered down my back and raised the familiar goose bumps.

“We’ll get through this”, I gasped in between kisses, but the words felt empty. Isn’t it amazing how language can be so unable to express your feelings? The sensation of believing in something so strongly everything else seems to fade, the attraction to someone else that consumes your thoughts and leaves you both weak and yet full of power, and the desperation that either breaks you to pieces or makes you discover a strength you never even considered possible.

All those things I was unable to say with my words I communicated with my body. Our tongues entwined, probing each other’s mouths, while our hands sought to bring us as close together as possible. It was an entirely new sensation to feel Penny in his human disguise. Instead of steel cables covered in silk I tore of his clothes to feel smooth skin over well-formed muscles, betraying the strength within his slim frame. And where he would normally touch me with his cool gloves warm hands slid over my hips and my breasts.

Suddenly the tension between us changed. An slight air of desperation that had been there before turned into a full storm. It left us clutching at each other with so much force it almost hurt. Our teeth grinded together as our kisses became increasingly deeper and anxious, and I could no longer wait for him. I grabbed his dick to reposition it, and with one swift thrust he was inside me.

He may not have been as big as in his clown form, but I came instantly nonetheless. I wrapped my legs around him while my body shook and closed the last little space between us. There was no time to relax or get accustomed to him; instead his thrust were so quick and hard I was moved around on the mattress. I dug my teeth into his lower lip, and in response his fingernails clawed my back. Moans escaped both him and me, and with one final forceful thrust he shuddered and came, triggering my second orgasm simultaneously.

All of this must have happened within five minutes or less, but it was the most intense sensation I had ever experienced. The desperation had subsided, but was not gone. Penny had collapsed on me, but his arms stayed firmly around me, as did mine. We both shuddered in the afterglow, the force of our lust dissipating only slowly.

I clung to him while tears seeped into my eyes.

“I don’t care about being human, Penny.”

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 21

Warning: harsh language, violence

I couldn’t have been asleep for more than an hour, but Penny was still pretty out of it. When I carefully wiggled out of the space between his arm and his shoulder, I realized he was truly asleep. There he lay, his huge form stretched out over my tiny bed, with his hands and feet dangling over the side – it was so cute I snapped a picture with my phone. Not wanting to wake him up (or has he started hibernating again? I’m not sure), I sat down at my desk and checked all the papers for the bookstore for the umpteenth time. Everything so far was ready to go – I had talked to the suppliers, Bee had helped me doing all the registration stuff which was now neatly filed away in a folder I swore to never touch again, and the bookkeeping was up to date. I had stored all of the money I had found hidden in the store as well as in the tiny apartment in a little book-safe auntie had given me, and I was positive I had enough “change” to keep the store running for half a year or so. Mr. Shank’s had never spent much, and it was now obvious he had belonged to the “I don’t trust no bank”-type of people.

I would be open for two hours every afternoon and a bit longer on Saturday. That should allow me to finish school work, study and still keep the store until graduation. Auntie surely hoped I would further improve my education, but I never felt any urge to leave Derry, and now I had a valid reason to stay.

Thinking about the opening, which would be in less than two weeks, made me slightly nervous. I wasn’t too sure if my persona would actually keep customers from coming, but on the other hand I was far more communicative since Penny had entered my life. Maybe I could do this after all.

Speaking of reasons to stay in Derry, mine just started… snoring. Well, technically it wasn’t really snoring, more like an exhausted, grunting purr, but it was loud enough to make the doors and my window vibrate. I couldn’t help myself but watch him as he slept. Despite his enormous size and the not-exactly human features there was still something vulnerable about him. The longer I stayed with him, the more details from our first encounter came back to me. He had been very aggressive back then, and wounded. I still could not fathom what that meant, but it seemed like it had left him… changed. Maybe our friendship would have never formed if that change never had occurred. Maybe he would have just granted me my wish and killed me in an instant.

Then again, I had joked about him eating me earlier today, and he had looked almost shocked at the idea. Whatever he was, I still felt no fear towards him. And I still wasn’t scared of dying or him eating me.

But I no longer craved it.

And I wanted to protect him. I didn’t care if he fed on my species (I guess I was, though I had changed a lot as well, still not exactly “human”), nor if people were scared of him.

I grabbed a spare blanket from my closet and gently wrapped it around Penny, as far as it was possible. Then I tip-toed downstairs and started to prepare dinner. There wasn’t much I knew about cooking, but I still managed some decent-smelling spaghetti tonno. Only then I realized auntie had left me a note on the table to inform me should would be late again – her boss currently did everything in his power to make her as miserable as possible. They had been two hands short for two and a half years now, and auntie was the one to fill both places while doing her regular job as well.

And it was showing. She had always been more of a plump, motherly type, but she had dropped weight quite profoundly. Her skin was sagging, and the tired bags underneath her eyes had become permanent. Speaking of her eyes, they had been so bloodshot as of late you could confuse her with an addict or something. I hated seeing her like that. Hopefully the bookstore would be profitable enough to allow her to stop working, at least at that horrible place. It had been alright until a couple of years ago, when the previous owner died, but now the restaurant had turned quite literally into a shithole. Only a few weeks back auntie had told me about roaches in the kitchen. She no longer ate there either.                                                                                                                                                                    

I put the rest of my dinner in the fridge and stuck a note to auntie to it. I was pretty sure she wouldn’t eat after work, but at least I could offer something home-made to her. When I checked back on Penny, he was still fast asleep (hopefully he wouldn’t stay like this for almost 30 years again), and I wrote him a note too, before I left for the store.

Once I arrived there, I made sure everything was where it belonged to. The door had been repaired (auntie had found somebody for the job, and, with my permission, paid him with some of the money from my inheritance), the store was neat and clean, and no further break-ins seemed to have occurred. Satisfied, I made my way to the back and up the stairs into the little apartment.

It smelled of old man, mold and dust. The stench was so intense I almost gagged, and I hurriedly opened all the windows. The lamps only glowed dimly when I turned them on, and I repeatedly bumped my toes on the junky that was scattered everywhere. This was actually the first time I set foot into the apartment, and it would take a lot of work to make habitable again. Mr. Shanks had kept the store in perfect order, while his home was the exact opposite: filthy and chaotic. Bits of decaying food lay scattered around and dirty rags and clothes adorned almost every bit of furniture. The windows were so dusty and covered in cobwebs they barely let in any light.

I took out my phone and made notes of everything I would need to at least clean out all the dirt. Then I started to hunt for stuff I would be able to use in the cupboards and drawers. Next to some very gross stuff, including rotting carcasses of rats and heavily stained boxer shorts, I managed to salvage a box of unused light bulbs, a roll of plastic bags, an almost empty box of rubber gloves and a flashlight, which was in surprisingly good condition and fully charged. Fully armed, I began the tedious work of clearing out the left-overs of Mr. Shanks.

I started by changing the bulbs in the small hallway, the living room and the kitchen – I didn’t feel comfortable enough to go either into the bedroom, the bath or the toilet. Thus illuminated, I proceeded by throwing all the dirty rags into a plastic bag, making my way from the hallway to the kitchen. The actual kitchen itself was tiny because an enormous, dark wooden dining table took up most of the space. The chairs around it must have been pretty old and would probably have some value if they had been properly cared for. But now they were nothing more than junk: the wood had been eaten away by bugs, and the upholstery almost entirely gone. Actually, I highly doubted they had been in use during the last five years at least, because of the shabby office chair I spotted at the end of the table. The chairs would have to be replaced, but the table still looked usable. I took a picture of it – I’d show it to Bee the next time I visited her. If she liked it, it would be one heavy thing less to remove.

By the time I had cleared the floor far enough to no longer hurt myself while walking around, the first two bags were entirely filled. Since the lamp shades really dimmed the light I removed them and threw them into the next bag – it was impossible to tell their original color, and they had a lot of spots that looked suspiciously like mold. I took a moment to stand by the window, inhaling the cold night air, and checked my phone. No news of Penny, and it would take another four hours for auntie’s shift to end. A quick look around revealed more details of the mess surrounding me: old wrappings in all sizes and colors, lots of dust and cobwebs, clothes, food, used dishes, single pages covered with unreadable notes, heaps of dead bugs, broken china and lots of other wonderful things had formed their very own universe, complete with its own scent and micro fauna.

I decided to not venture any further, but rather to try to rid all flat surfaces of all trash. That proved to be a good decision, because it took much longer than I had anticipated. It was an oddly sad job to sift through all the meaningless trinkets. To think that Mr. Shanks had once lived an active life outside the restraints of his own brain was something quite difficult for me – I had only known him as a confused, irritable old man. But here, among heaps of dirt, I was proven wrong with postcards of foreign mountains, beautiful photos of lakes and wildlife, and souvenirs from all over the world. Broken magnets with exotic sounding names of places and cities lay next to dead roaches, little key ring pendants depicting famous monuments hid beneath shards of broken glass and china, and fragments of discolored letters shared their space with old flyers and outdated newspapers. Hardly anything was whole and unbroken, and almost all the colors had faded or changed.

My labored breathing and my increasing heartbeat were the only sounds accompanying me as I threw away what remained of Mr. Shanks’ life. By the time I had freed the cupboards and the table from the burden of years, the hallway was stuffed with filled plastic bags and my clothes had turned the same grey-brown that coated the walls and the furniture. A quick glance at my phone told me it was time to return home and, to be honest, I really had no energy left to continue the tedious work.

As I bowed down to take some of the bags down to the trashcans, a sting inside my belly made me stop dead. The pain subsided a little rather quickly, but a strange queasiness remained. It wasn’t unbearable, but it still hurt enough to distract me, though I was pretty sure it couldn’t be dangerous.

Feeling somewhat irritated, I yanked at the bags piling up in front of me, and carried five of them downstairs. By the time they were safely stored inside the trashcans the dull pain had settled on a level of pain that made me long for a hot cushion to press against my belly. I hugged myself tightly as I made my way home, cursing a little under my breath. There was still no reply from Pennywise, and I wondered if he really was alright. My steps became faster and faster the more uneasy I felt, and within a minute I was jogging through the cold night.

When I finally arrived at our little house, I was completely out of breath. My lungs and my nostrils hurt from the cold air, my legs were shaking and I felt sick. I stripped down to my underwear as soon as I closed the door behind me, and hurriedly stuffed my clothes into the washing machine – fortunately the tiny storage room it was in was right next to the entrance. However, I could not completely avoid setting of little clouds of dust and dirt rising into the air, so I would have to clean the room thoroughly. The stench seemed to have dissipated into everyone of my pores, and now, against the comfy odors of my own home, was even more revolting than before.

As I could hear Penny’s sleeping grumbles even through the door of my room, I decided to hit the shower before I checked on him. Truth be told, I did not want to carry any remains of the flat into my room or my bed, and it was a relieve to feel the hot water on my cold, grimy skin. I turned up the heat as much as possible, not caring about my skin turning lobster red, and continued to distribute almost have a bottle of shower gel all over me. Only when every little part of me was covered in foam, including my hair, did I relax a little. I hadn’t realized how much my back was aching from the constant bending down, and the tension slowly faded from my shoulders. I let out an involuntary groan as I turned around and let the water flow over my belly. The pain subsided a little more, and I took the time to wash my face.

As soon as I could open my eyes again I wished I hadn’t done so. The water I was standing in was of a disgusting color, and the streams running down my body turned greyer with every inch. At least it didn’t smell the way it looked, and I hurried to cover myself in foam again. I even used the loofah auntie had given me for my birthday for the first time, only stopping when I had shed at least three layers of skin. My hair took even longer to cleanse. No matter how long I rinsed it, or how much shampoo I used, it didn’t seem to suffice. Only when the bottle was almost empty the water became more transparent, and by the time I felt clean again there was no hot water left.

The air in the bathroom had become so saturated with steam you could barely see anything. As I climbed out of the shower pain shot through my belly again, and a wave of nausea and dizziness hit me. I stumbled into the stink and desperately clutched at its slippery edge to steady myself. I felt a new sort of moisture covering my thighs while I desperately tried to figure out where up and down was. However, the steam wafting through the bathroom didn’t improve my sense of orientation, instead it added to the feeling of bewilderment and estrangement.

As if in a dream I stuck my hand between my legs and felt a hot liquid oozing out of me. I stared at my fingers, wondering about the dark blood clinging to them, unable to make any sense of the situation. A strange noise made me raise my head, and in a little clearing in the misted mirror a pair of unreal eyes stared back at me.

I turned around slowly, still very wobbly on my feet, and looked into Pennywise’s hungry yellow eyes, as he growled. Drool was covering his entire chin, his nose twitched at the scent of my blood, and he ducked the way cats do before they leap upon their prey. Madness radiated from him, and then he hurled himself towards me.                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 20 (light fluff)

Warning: harsh language, violence

I had just arrived at the hospital when my phone rang. I turned it off without looking, being in a hospital, and all, which was a very stupid mistake. I visited Bee and sat with her for an hour, talking about this and that, and left her in a much better state than she had been in yesterday. There had been no news from the police (and I very much doubted they’d be actually able to catch the culprits), but she didn’t seem to care too much.

“It’s not the first time I start over, you know”, she had said, and given me one of her mischievous smiles.  But she still got drowsy pretty quickly from the meds, so I didn’t have a guilty consciousness when I left her that early.

When I started my phone I saw I had about 35 missed calls from Penny. I phoned him back, but apparently he didn’t have a signal. He had just written me a message that he was in the cistern. I headed there as fast as I could, and arrived at the place where it all started covered in dirt (because of course I had to slip a couple of times), with gashes all over my arms and faces (hugged some trees too) and completely out of breath.

As soon as I could I screamed for him, increasingly worried something might have happened to him. My voice echoed through the large cistern, jumping between the piles of junk, and mingled with the clouds of white breath as I kept on huffing. I didn’t see him, but once the echo died out I heard noises behind the huge pile in the middle of the cistern. Relieved, I started to make my way over the discarded items, shifting them around to avoid tripping once more. But, once I got to the other side, there was no one there.

“Pennywise?”, I shouted again. Still, there was no answer, but the noises grew louder. I turned toward the garbage mountain, and briefly noticed a large wooden screen. It bore fading letters and a portrait, but before I could read them it fell forwards, revealing a stage with some fiery backgrounds. Merry organ music started to play and fireworks went off, adding their own rhythm to the creepy melody. And then he jumped on the stage, dancing around while his eyes looked crazier than I ever had seen them before. He cackled and giggled, shaking his head, waving at me, and performed some sort of jig. Faster and faster did the music play, faster and faster he went.

Then he lunged at me.

“Penny, are you okay?”, I managed to gasp as he picked me up and started  swinging us around in a tempo that could rival any roller coaster.

He laughed in my ear. “Don’t you know I’m the dancing clown?”

“Well, that’s how you introduced yourself to me…”

He only stopped briefly to gently place me on my old favorite spot, before he took up jumping around like crazy. Of course he splashed me from head to toe. By now he was going so fast he almost seemed to blur.

“What’s the matter with you? Are you sure you are okay?” I mean, he was laughing and all, but there definitely was something else going on.

“I am lightning, I am speed. I am everything you need”, he sang with a cracking, high-pitched voice, once more increasing his pace. “Try to catch me; no, you won’t. Now you see me, now you…”

All of a sudden he was gone.

“Don’t!”

Before I could react his arms wrapped around me, squeezing me so hard I could no longer breathe, and hurled me around once more. If he kept on going I’d throw up for sure.

“Pennywise! I’m worrying here.”

“My little human pet is worrying, how cuuuuuu~te!”

“Was it that meat I gave you? Are you having some sort of allergic reaction to it?”

“Oh, it was boooooring. But eadible. But booooooring!”

“Okay, well, please let me down then, I’m gonna…”

Too late.

But it made him stop, and he steadied me while I was retching.

“My poor baby’s sick”, he crooned, “Pennywise was bad, Pennywise must be punished.”

I would have loved to tell him to stop that nonsense, but my mouth was still busy with other things. I couldn’t even shake my head. He kept on blaming himself, and the minute I was done he started running around again, rambling about proper punishments.

“There’s no need for any of that”, I assured him. “Just tell me why you are so jittery. I’m worried it might from some stuff in the meat (it’s not exactly high quality). Have you ever had problems with junkies?” He technically hadn’t confirmed that he actually ATE humans, but I was 99.9 percent sure he did, so there was no point sugarcoating it.

He shook his head so quickly I could see nothing but a red streak.

“Nonono, never had a problem. I’m fast. I’m superfast. I’msofastmygirldoen’tevenunderstandhaha…” He spoke so fast his words slurred together until his speech resembled a monotone hum.

“Well, did you like it, then? Are you less hungry?”, I interrupted.

“Hunger never goes away, little one.” His eyes flashed yellow as he stared at me.

“Well, what else could it be?”

“I don’t know what you mean. I’m just reallyfastreallyreallyfast…”

Here we go again. By now he was shifting forms again, and it was fascinating to watch. Tentacles blossomed on his face, which in turn grew thorns as they slithered all around him. Fins in all colors popped up.  His hands changed to furry claws, only to be replaced by pinchers in the next second. He grew extra legs that suddenly became skinny wings. It was absolutely mesmerizing and distracted me for several minutes.

But when he trampled over the empty white boxes, I was reminded of the problem at hand. An idea crossed my mind.

“Penny, could it be… that the mocca was too strong for you?”

He stopped dead, the horns slowly retracting into his forehead again.

“Nononono. Impossible. It was delicious.”

“You just had one, though, right? I mean, caffeine shouldn’t have so much impact on you…”

My voice trailed away as I stared at Penny. He had cast down his eyes and a little wrinkle had formed between the two indentions that replaced his eyebrows. He definitely looked guilty.

I mustered all my strength, straightened my back and asked him with the severest voice I could muster: “Pennywise? What did you do while I was at the hospital?”

He mumbled something.

“A little louder, please.”

“I went back to that room…”

“And?”

“Had more?”

I stared at him. He had actually gone back to the coffee shop? What had he done to the employees? And how did he pay? In response a hundred-dollar-bill appeared in his hands.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

He held out the bill to me, and I took it. It looked, felt and smelled like real money to me. The cistern started spinning around me.

Penny was able to produce money.

What. The. Heck.

Something like a whimper escaped his mouth. He very much reminded me of a puppy that had been caught doing something forbidden.

“I had another 40”, he finally admitted.

I had to clutch at the junk next to me to keep myself steady.

“YOU DRANK 40 CUPS OF MOCCHA!?”

He just nodded, quick enough to once more blur into a red streak.

“Jeez, you do realize that you would be in hospital now if you were human, do you?”

I pressed my hands into my temples. Apparently immortals do not differ that much from us after all. Pennywise just had a real bad caffeine high.

“Okay, listen, that’s the caffeine from the coffee. That’s why we drink it in the first place – it gives you energy and wakes you up. That’s why you feel so… fast, do you understand?” I sighed. “There’ll be no other choice then to wait till the effects wear off.”

He nodded, looking slightly relieved I was no longer yelling at him.

So I spent the next two hours in the cistern with a Pennywise on speed (well, not exactly). He continued jumping around, dancing and singing. (Something about blood on the streets, and yummy kids, and about coming to get me – I didn’t listen to intently.) At least he didn’t spin me around again, but he came up to cuddle for several seconds before running off to use his extra energy. He rearranged some piles of the junk (meaning he turned into different creatures and wrecking through them), tried playing one of the games on my phone, asked me to read to him, and then, when I finally found a book amongst the trash, he was running around again.

It was exhausting, and not really in a good way either.

When he finally seemed to calm down for a bit, I invited him over to my house. Auntie wouldn’t come home till midnight, so there was no worrying about a second take on the embarrassing morning  meeting. Penny was really eager to hang out in my room again, and so we were on our way.

By the time we reached our little house ( he had assumed his human form again, though very grudgily), the last effects wore off. He collapsed on my bed, not exactly changing form, more like slowly melting out of it, and sighed.

“I think I’m dying, little one.”

“No, you’re not. That’s just the caffeine going away. You’re probably very tired now”, I chided gently. He looked at me sadly, entirely unconvinced this wouldn’t be the end of his existence. I cuddled up next him and started stroking his cheek.

“But that’s a good way to die”, he purred and leaned into my hand.

“You’re not dying, silly, You can’t, right? You are a part of Derry.”

I wasn’t exactly sure where that came from, but it just felt true. Penny closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around me. In the warmth of his embrace I drifted away into comforting darkness.

The next chapter will be a long one, I promise!

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 19 (light fluff)

Warning: harsh language, violence

He was so close to finally snapping. The corners of his mouth itched terribly, and he could only do so much to keep his smile plastered to this human face, but he could feel drool starting to form. And how could it not? He was surrounded by his prey, one after the other running from place to place, anxious about meetings, their family, appearance… All those insignificant pesky burdens humans took upon themselves, weighting themselves down, when they should be glad to be ALIVE, to not yet have fallen in his snares and traps…

And yet, they still stared at him, females and males alike, as he passed them, gawking at his human form, heat rising to their faces. He could smell their excitement rising, as lust and shame took hold of them. Oh, how he would love to cast of this weak body, to rage amongst them in endless feeding frenzy, while fear and blood would saturate the cold air. Tearing off their limbs one by one, feasting on their soft, warm flesh, while all this hatred inside him would briefly subside, lessening from a roaring storm to a growling wind in the back of his vast mind.

But, of course, he couldn’t do that. The tiny, tiny hand he was holding so tight it must have hurt made it impossible for him to follow his instincts, the only ones he had known for his entire existence. That weak, brittle little thing he clung onto like an anchor, to keep his will together, to not lose himself to the power of his hunger. She also clung to him, though her fingers were barely able to reach around two of his, and smiled so happily her wide mouth almost split her face into two parts. She was chatting away merrily, talking about the shops they passed, the movies she wanted to show him (the last one hadn’t been all that bad, but he hadn’t been stuck in this horrible form either) and about the coffee she was going to make him try.

Although the mere sound of all these things was enough to make him shudder, he still felt oddly satisfied. Despite all of the distracting emotions, sounds and smells all around him, one of each was so much clearer than rest: her joy, her voice, her clean scent. They shielded him from all the human filth they waded through, soothing the beast inside of him.

This day had been a mess from the start. The encounter with this “auntie” person had clearly upset his little one – she didn’t want to see that person hurt. He had tasted both the anger and worry concealed within this guardian character, but they were of the purer kind. Auntie surely didn’t want to see the girl upset, and she was constantly worried for her. Other things took their toll on her too: All the extra work she had to do without being properly paid, the constant fear of something happening to “her” child, the worry for her best friend in hospital, and the knowledge that something was wrong with her body, albeit only for worrying for the security of the girl’s future, if anything happened to her.

He had been strangely moved by the affection between the two (strong, but definitely different than the “affection” the girl showed him). He slowly started to understand what his little girl had meant by different nuances in human relationships. Actually, she had been very upset when they left, but there had been something else on her mind as well, something he couldn’t grasp.

There had been no time to dwell on this, however, since she had taken him shopping. And so he had spent two hours in shops while she tried on dresses, skirts and pants – even he understood that her previous clothes didn’t seem to fit properly. (Though he would never complain about more meat on a human body – but she was barely skin and bones anyway. And he wouldn’t have complained about her not wearing clothes at all. Then again, the way people stared at him… Maybe it was better if they did not do that to her, which they certainly would, as she had said.) At last, after she had bought a blue-and-white dress, she said she was done.

There was no time to be relieved, since she declared they would now go for coffee. He was aware of the love for this drink, but didn’t particularly care for trying it himself. Popcorn and sweets had been horrible, so how good could it be?

She smiled at him with bliss in her eyes, and he agreed without thinking. So, now they walked down crowded streets, bumping into strangers, while he was tense and she was happy, holding hands like a proper couple, though both had very little in common with the people who surrounded them.

Finally she came to halt, ushering him into a rather dimly lit room. The moment they entered strange smells attacked his nostrils, while weird machines behind a wooden counter ushered hissing and grinding noises. There was barely anybody in there, and the comfy leather chairs were left empty. Huge signs on the wall proposed different tastes of things he didn’t know how to pronounce, and some huge deserts sat in a display in full sight. (Oh, how he would love to run!)

But the girl pulled him forward, and ordered two different things, smiling at him confidently. The machines sprang to live, and produced two dark brown drinks. The young man behind the counter added some stuff to one of them, turning the color much lighter, and offered the steaming drinks to him on a tablet. Pennywise gingerly took them, and his little one indicated a table with two chairs, where she let go of her bags. He sat down across of her, and she offered him the dark brown liquid.

“I figured you didn’t like the sweets, so I got you a mocca. You don’t have to drink it, though, if you don’t like it.”

He tried to look curious for her, though he dreaded the taste already. However, when the coffee actually hit his human tongue, he was pleasantly surprised. It was a weird, foreign aroma to be sure, but it tasted… good. The warmth made him relax a little bit, and he nestled somewhat into the chair.

“It’s… tas-ty”, he admitted, drawing out the word.

She took a sip of her mug in turn, winking at him. “It’s the secret to keep us going. If we didn’t have coffee, our society would crumble and fall.”

That actually shocked him. Could it be really that easy to bring havoc to Derry? He eyed the coffee machine suspiciously, thinking of all the possible fun it could bring him…

…until he felt a small hand resting on his. She grinned at him – a grin which very much reminded him of himself.

“That was just a joke, Penny. Though most of us are, in a certain way, addicted to coffee. And if it has the power to appease you…” She laughed, her voice ringing through the empty room. He listened to it intently, the ripples and the bell-ish sound of it, the way it echoed in the room, and felt at ease.

“It is much better than those horrible things you gave me on Halloween. But it isn’t as tasty as you are.”

That made her blush, though he didn’t understand why. Every time they talked about their physical relationship, she blushed that way, though she clearly liked every aspect of it. He wondered why this species was so embarrassed to talk about their mating, especially when it was so enjoyable. She had done her best to explain that to him, but it was just another weird behavior of his prey. Pennywise didn’t spend much thought on it, because the physical changes she went through were much more interesting. He knew what was about to come next – the smell of her blood became much more intense, as it rose beneath the thin skin of her cheeks, and she looked away, hiding her eyes beneath her long dark lashes. It reminded him of dark rainclouds concealing the gray autumn sky. That wasn’t the most interesting change, as her scent became different as well. Usually very light and non-discernable or interesting, it suddenly intensified, developing a salty note. He thought it rather delicious.

Of course, she wouldn’t mate with him in public – another thing the human race avoided (for the most part). Instead, he had to be content with just holding her hand as they drank their coffee. From time to time she would love about something he had said, as if he had made a splendid joke, and it would bring a genuine smile to his lips (he had been serious, though). When he asked her about her concerns in the morning, however, her face turned ashen.

“Oh, it’s just a conversation I had with auntie in the morning. About being careful.”

He waited for her to go on, but she didn’t. After several minutes he asked her again. She sighed deeply, with that impression she always wore when she tried to explain something to him.

“You know, we talked about proper protection. About not being careless. As in using condoms.”

That didn’t help much, but he knew she needed time to pick the proper words.

“You know, sex isn’t just something we do when we love one another, it’s also for making babies. And I can’t afford a baby right now, and, to be honest, I never saw myself as a mom. So there’s ways to stop making babies while having sex. And I didn’t use them twice.” She frowned, and leaned forward.

“Can I even get pregnant by you?”

He thought about that, but no answer came to mind.

“I don’t know”, he admitted, puzzled by the direction the conversation had gone. Having offspring was never something he had thought about before. And now he had no idea what it would like, with him as a father and a human for a mother. Could that be possible?

“Well, anyways, I don’t think it’s likely right now that I’ll get pregnant. I did gain weight, but not that much. You see, I have always been severely underweight. And when a woman’s body isn’t getting enough nutrition it can’t carry babies – that would consume very much energy the female body doesn’t have. I haven’t had my days in ages.” She looked at him, uncertain of how to go on.

“How much do you know about human… breeding?”

He indicated for her to go on while sipping his coffee. He had a basic idea of what she was going to tell him, but it was so enjoyable to watch her struggle.

“You see, man can produce sperm for the rest of their lives when they’ve developed their sexual organs. Women can’t we produce one egg per month, and only for a certain period of time. If the egg doesn’t get fertilized, it basically gets flushed out with blood.” She didn’t stutter once, but by now her face was the color of tomatoes. “That’s what we call period or menstruation. I didn’t have that for ages, because my body isn’t strong enough to carry a child in my current state. So I don’t think I could get pregnant now. I never even thought about that until now.”

He nodded, hiding his amusement behind a worried expression. “But that means you are not healthy right now. It means your body is weak.”

She shrugged nonchalantly, waving his concern aside with one hand. “I just never had any appetite or hunger. Everything tasted the same for me – kinda like when you started trying to scare me, remember? Besides, I’m gaining weight right now, so I’m healthier. Or is it that you want to have a bigger meal once you succeed, huh?”

She clearly meant that as a joke, but Pennywise couldn’t take it as one. This had been the premise at the beginning of their relationship – getting her to feel fear would mean he could eat her. When did that change? He did his best to tell himself he had spent the time gathering information about her and her species, that he was only getting all the amusement possible before he would finally reach his ultimate goal. He would consume her, and then teach Derry once more what true terror looked like.

Pennywise knew it wasn’t true.

He still abhorred the human race and saw them as little more than walking bags of fear and meat, but even sitting here, drinking this coffee and talking to that girl would have certainly been impossible only months ago. He had changed, but so did she. At least in her case it seemed for the better. That hull of sorrow was almost gone, and she did seem to take an interest in the world surrounding her. Most importantly, her eyes were no longer dull but full of live. And she relished the time she spent with him.

She now perceived embarrassment, happiness, ecstasy, sadness towards other’s pitiful state, but there still was no trace of fear to be found in her emotional make-up. She was a mystery.

All of a sudden her phone rang, cutting through the aura of comfortable intimacy between them.

She checked it briefly, then lowered her head apologetically. “It’s from auntie. Bee wants to see me.”

He was quite annoyed. This Bee person kept interfering with their time together, and so did that stupid phone. After all she had told him it was meant for the time they could NOT be together, yet even now it thwarted him. How this little beeping box of hell could control the lives of so many…

But, she would visit that annoyance in hospital – the thought cheered him up immediately. Hospitals are usually nests of pain and fear: People do not like going there. Whether it is for major or minor things, hospitals mean pain, they mean something’s wrong with you. And even if those humans just went there to have a cast removed; they still carried the fear something might be wrong again, something for which they had no name; an illness they could not comprehend. Oh, how he could feast there…

All of a sudden he realized she was watching him intently.

“How hungry are you, Pennywise?”

He needed a second to understand why she was concerned. His smile had slipped, and his jaw extend. Drool was pouring into his coffee. He quickly got his face together.

“I still haven’t fed.”

She nodded as if that was the answer she had expected.

“I’m not going to take you with me, Penny. But I would like you to try something, okay?”

He was dumbfounded, as she dragged him out onto the streets again, pulling him into a place that sold human food. They stopped before a huge, cold display full of meat. She grabbed some of the packages there and bought them without losing a word. Once they were outside she finally spoke again.

“I know you said you needed fear to be able to feed. Believe me, those poor animals were certainly scared out of their minds – after all, the butcher company that produces this meat isn’t exactly known for caring about animal treatment. So I want you to try it for me, okay? Cause I don’t want you to starve yourself either.”

With this she handed him the packaged meat, looking dead serious, before she reached up to kiss him deeply, leaving him no time to process what was happening. By the time he recovered, she was gone.

He looked at the packaged animal meat he was holding. It was all different, varying both in parts as in animal origin.

There he stood, the timeless being amidst a crowd of estranged people, and smiled at the white boxes in his hands, and all that saw him where equally enchanted by his beauty and tender smile, and appalled at his actions.

Well, this was quite the journey - Penny just couldn’t make up his mind about certain things. Hope you’ll enjoy it anyway :)

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

Agptd Update/questions for you

So, I'm about to start working on the next chapters. Would you want the next one to be a Pennywise-POV?

Also, thanks again for all your likes, rebloggs and messages. Feel free to ask me any questions you have, and also feel free to send me feedback! Both positive and negative are very welcome! I'm still very unsure while I'm writing (I tend to be hypercritical of my own work), and would appreciate your suggestions to keep improving.

In the meantime, enjoy your weekend and keep floating ~*🎈👻🎈*~

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 18 (Smut)

Warning: harsh language, violence

A tall, lean young man sat on my bed. He was devilishly handsome, but there was also something off about him. Maybe it was the slight fiery sheen on his otherwise dark blonde hair, or his hauntingly intense eyes, with his left eye being just the teensiest bit lazy. He looked entirely relaxed, as if it were perfectly normal for him to pose like a model within a shabby little room of young women on a Saturday morning.

I stared at him in complete awe. His cheekbones could probably cut anything in his path. And that smile of his… extremely attractive, but there was something lurking behind it. And his lips… they were extremely red for a human being, yet he didn’t wear any lipstick. Jeez, I couldn’t stop myself. I had to reach out and touch him to make sure he was real.

“Penny?”

His smile widened, and I could detect traces of the familiar madness in it.

Auntie chose that moment to walk in on us. Penny got up quickly, and she screamed.

“No, auntie, it’s okay, I swear!”, I gushed, grabbing her arms in a desperate attempt to calm her.

She looked from Penny to me, her fear clearly enjoyable for him, and started raging at me.

“Who is this? I demand an answer, young lady. Right now!”

I shrunk back. “Uhm, auntie, meet… Benny. Benny, meet auntie”, I mumbled.

Penny slowly approached her und stuck out his hand. “I’m sorry to intrude on you.”

Where are the black holes when you need them?

She refused to take his hand, glaring at him so angry his smile actually faltered.

“And just how exactly did you get in here?”

“I saw you were still eating, so I climbed up the canopy.”

Auntie was so taken aback she was actually speechless. I hurried to “explain” things before it got any weirder.

“You know, he was so excited because he just received an answer from his teacher. He was really impressed with Benny’s work, and if the presentation doesn’t go horribly wrong, he’ll pass. And so he came right over to tell me…” My voice faltered under her stern gaze.

“Why on earth would he climb through the window, though?”

“I told you he was shy. He was… scared… of meeting you.”

Penny was grinning in the back. He clearly had the time of his life, enjoying my embarrassment to the fullest. But the moment auntie turned back to him, his smile vanished and was replaced by a rueful expression. Before she could go off on him, he spoke up.

“I apologize. Clearly my behavior was out of line, but I assure you I had no ill intentions towards you nor this wonderful girl. I simply came to express my gratitude.” And with that he pulled a gigantic bouquet of the most deliciously smelling flowers from behind his back.

My mouth fell open. Was this really the mad clown I had come to love? Pennywise, who could be so childlike and innocent in his understanding of the human world, yet full of resentment and loathing towards my species?

Auntie’s face looked exactly like mine – utter disbelieve and a good amount of being charmed. She took the flowers he offered her and smelled them absently. Then she seemed to remember that she been angry, but couldn’t quite get there again.

“Well, uhm… Just make sure you come in through the door next time. And no calls after 12 p.m.”

Benny-Penny nodded obediently, and rewarded us with a big, unsettling smile.

“And I’ll talk to you, young lady, in private.” With a last angry grimace in my direction she finally left my room.

I collapsed right on the spot and buried my burning face in my hands. “Jeez, Penny!!”

He was beside me in an instant, gently pulling me up, and lifted my head. His impossibly beautiful eyes, the same intense blue I loved, searched my face hungrily. “What’s wrong, my little girl?”

“You very nearly gave me heart attack is all.”

His brows furrowed and I was caught in his gaze. Those motherfucking cheekbones… The way they reflected the light, together with his perfect complexion, gave him the appearance of a glowing fairy prince. His hair looked so smooth, and it’s fiery sheen further enhanced the impression of a magical creature. I was hypnotized by the movement of his lips, those luscious red beauties – not as plump as I knew them, but still eerily attractive. It took me several seconds to understand he was talking to me.

“You can’t just do this to us!”, I blurted out, interrupting him mid-sentence. “You’re way to handsome! How do you expect me to think straight?”

Penny recovered quickly and presented me his familiar impish grin. “I don’t.”

In an instant he had thrown me onto the bed and ridden me of the baggy trousers I had rushed to put on. I hadn’t bothered with underwear, and he took advantage of that. His tongue found its way to my clit way to fast, and I melted. All I could was to grab my pillow and pull it over my face – my breath was already coming fast, and little moans escaped me from time to time. Our almost-getting-caught-experience had stifled my lust in an instant, but now it came back twice as intense. My pussy twitched at his touch, and I could feel little beads of sweat forming on my back. The thought of auntie coming back no longer worried me – the danger of her returning only intensified my yearning.

Penny thrust his fingers into me and I came instantly. I could feel him moving inside me, and the texture slowly changed. They grew longer and bigger, and skin turned to silk. Relishing in the heat pulsing through me I started thrusting my hips against him. My hands groped blindly for him, desperate to feel him closer to me, and I could hear him grunt. Silk rubbed against silk, and then the tip of his dick pressed against my pussy. I moaned desperately and I was barely able to stifle my voice with my pillow. Still, Penny seemed to understand, and slid into me.

It still hurt a little.

But as he spread me further apart the pain subsided and physical relieve took its place. I never knew that yearning for sex could be so intense. Though Penny wasn’t planning on taking it slow, oh no. He started fucking me hard, almost painfully so. Each thrust was so strong it moved me back a little. He tore the pillow from my face and quickly replaced it with his soaked glove. I could both smell and taste myself on him, and my scent mingled with his. I started sucking on his fingers and his breathing sped up. With a loud noise the silk tore and exposed a monstrous hand, covered in black fur, and some impressive claws. Immediately he stuck his thumb into my mouth, and I let my tongue caress it. The sensation of the fur prickling against my gums made me cum again.

Penny picked me up and crushed me against the wall. The new position allowed his dick to hit new places within me – it felt like he was about to stake me. Simultaneously he pounded me even harder, his breathing now as labored as my own. Gone was the beautiful human, back was my mad clown. Pleasure distorted his face, and his eyes glowed like embers. I clawed at back, no longer conscious of what I was doing, and bit down on his thumb. A deep moan of his own rumbled in his chest and he convulsed. Lava poured into my womb and triggered my third orgasm. With the last remains of my willpower I stifled a scream and pressed myself against Penny’s chest.

We both exhausted our climax to the very last second before we slumped over. His breathing was as ragged as my own, and that simple fact was enough to make my overflow with joy. Speaking of which, I absently noticed that wasn’t the only thing overflowing. I saw my sullied pants underneath my bed and groped for them to hold under my dripping pussy. The movement made Penny shudder again, and I smiled at him. He gingerly slid out of me, and I was barely able to catch the flow of cum shooting out of me. My pants were barely enough to deal with his load, but somehow I managed to keep my floor clean.

Penny carried me over to my bed and lay me down as gently as possible.

“I need a minute”, I told him with a shaky voice. “I don’t trust my legs right now.”

“Don’t hurry, little one. I have all the time in the universe.” He winked at me, and I understood he meant that literally. My pussy twitched pleasantly, and with a sigh I closed my eyes. My heart kept drumming in my ears, and I was covered in sweat, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Little by little my perception came back, and I could hear auntie rummaging downstairs. Thank god she didn’t seem to notice anything. I sat back up and whipped myself clean to the best of my abilities. When I turned back to Penny he had once again switched to his human form. Still, his eyes shone with some kind of new energy, and his cheeks were flushed. It was incredibly cute to see him that way – normally his expressions were much more difficult to read. He reached towards me and cupped my chin in both hands. His smile was so genuine it ached to see it. Then he kissed me slowly, barely teasing me with his tongue.

“I love you, Pennywise.”

He hugged me tightly, then lowered himself until his eyes were on the same level as mine.

“And I care about you, little one.”

That was more than enough for me.

I told him about my plans for today while I gathered my dirty laundry, and surprisingly enough he decided to come with me. Even when I asked him if he really wanted to accompany me on my shopping spree he insisted he would. Then again, this was all new to him, and who said he would behave like any other man? As I loaded the washing machine I was reminded of something.

“By the way, Penny, why didn’t you answer your phone?”

His smile froze on his face, and he actually looked… guilty.

“It doesn’t work anymore”, he mumbled.

“What did you do??? That thing is of the old, undying sort!”

“I played with it”, he admitted, too embarrassed to look me in the eye. “I got bored after calling you.”

If only he didn’t remind me so much of a pouting puppy, chastising him would have been so much easier. “Give it to me. Right now!”

He took several parts out of his pocket and let them fall into my hand.

Fortunately, there was no real damage. Apart from several bumps and cuts the phone had simply cast off its back cover and the battery had fallen out. I put it together again and started it – there was no problem at all. Still, I tried to look as stern as auntie had before and made Penny promise me he would take better care of it from now on before I gave it back.

It was quite relieving to be done with my chores and get away from auntie – she was still quite upset, though she couldn’t help but smile at “Benny”. He very politely excused himself once more, but when I dashed back into the kitchen to grab my purse she stopped me.

“We’ll talk once you are back, young lady.”

I nodded unhappily, and hurriedly left home.

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 17 ( Light smut)

Warning: Harsh language, violence

When my phone rang for the fifth time at half past three, I cursed myself. Barely enough awake to know what I was doing, I answered the call. Penny’s squeaky voice greeted me (what a surprise), and he ranted fast and loud about something to do with “floating”. Unfortunately my mind was still so drowsy I didn’t manage to understand what he told me, but for the sake of it I mumbled encouraging things like “mhm”, “yeah”, “sure”, “oh” and the like. Then, when I was about to string a coherent sentence together, he hung up on me.

I had figured my present might backfire on me, but it still was a little much. Not that I was angry at him, but I felt terribly tired and sick. Worrying for Bee had drained me quite a lot, and nowadays my dreams were so vivid I didn’t feel well rested when I woke up.

Penny first called me at half past eleven to tell me I shouldn’t eat popcorn anymore. Then, at a quarter past midnight he informed me I should give up on sweets too, because they all tasted terribly. At one o’clock he talked excitedly about his plan to torture and eat any wrongdoer I named him. And at two o’clock he told me he wanted me to kiss him, which was actually very sweet, but I already was so tired I could barely answer him.

Of course, now I was awake. I dragged myself to the kitchen to pour me a glass of milk and sat down at our shabby table. The past day passed before my tired eyes, and I felt my heart grow heavy again when I thought about angry Penny. Yet there was something nagging me, something that had been strange but got lost in the moment. I guess I understood a little better why people were terrified by him – his rage form had certainly been impressive. Still, he didn’t actually hurt me (not counting my ribs, they weren’t broken again after all) and in the end I had spent almost two hours reading to him from a cheap paperback auntie had picked up years ago and left at the hospital for Bee to read. She had insisted I take it, and when I read it to Pennywise it had become clear why. Cringey and very badly written, with stupid characters who constantly did the same shitty thing only to have sex right after they swore to never see each other again. Every side character was either a walking, talking stereotype or completely lacking any personality.

I had shut the book twice, with the firm intent to never open it again, but Penny had insisted I continue. And what choice was there? He had curled himself around me, resting his head on mine while gently stroking me the entire time. Eventually I became drowsy, and even fell asleep.

When I woke up again, I was lying in the pouch of a freaking huge, rabid kangaroo. Though foam dripped from its mouth and its red eyes glared at me, I felt warm and secure. Its fur was impossibly soft, and it carried me swiftly through the night. The cold air felt refreshing, though the motion was somewhat strange to experience. Every leap carried us forward several yards, and though my ride landed gently, the ups and downs were just a little nauseating. But I could feel its muscles moving beneath the soft fur, cables of steel stretching and contracting, and I have to admit, despite being tired as fuck, I felt lust surging through me. But the kangaroo carried me right to the front of my door, where it helped me to climb out. Then it pecked me swiftly on the mouth before disappearing into the dark. Penny didn’t tell me where he was going, so I assumed he might try to hunt or do whatever a clown living in the sewers has to do, and went straight to bed.

And that’s probably what I should be doing now.

I downed the last bit of milk and made my way back. My bed was still warm, and sleep came back rather quickly. Just before my consciousness drifted away I remembered something else. When Pennywise had roared at me, I could have sworn I saw the faintest glimmer of some kind of light in his throat. But before I could elaborate on that I was asleep.

 Breakfast was a very tedious affair. Auntie had actually woken up while I was on the phone, and of course she had to ask me who called me. I was getting somewhat tired of all these half-lies, but what should I do? Oh, it was just this shape-shifting clown who lives in our sewer system. How old is he? Oh, probably centuries or more, I haven’t asked. What he does? He feeds on fear, and I suspect on humans too. And he drives me nuts. How our relationship does? Great, actually, I taught him (and me) how to kiss. And I had sex with him and then we quarreled for the first time, but we made up. And I didn’t even get make-up sex, which really frustrates me. So, how is you sex life doing, auntie?

“Uhm, it was actually Benny. He had to finish a presentation for school and asked me a couple of things which he has forgotten.”

“In the middle of the night?” I could tell she didn’t believe me.

“Yeah, he’s in a lot of stress right now, and it’s pass or fail depending on this, so…”

She shook her head. “That’s still very rude. You look like you haven’t had a single minute of sleep, for Christ’s sake!”

“It’s alright, auntie. He has done the same for me, so I owe him.”

Her eyebrows went up so high I wondered if they’d disappear in her hairline eventually.

“He helped me out with my biology project, you remember? About the plants in the Barrens? He identified some of them for me. He actually knows a lot about plants.” The more I rambled on the more stupid I sounded to myself. Imagine Penny sitting next to me in the Barrens, a tiny leaf in his enormous hands, and examining it with a magnifying glass…

But auntie’s angry frown gradually subsided and was replaced with a somewhat desperate look.

She sighed deeply.

Uh-oh.

“Listen, I know you like this Benny guy.” She flushed. “And I know you’re a responsible girl, but… there’s still something we should talk about, you know.”

Now it was my turn to flush. Well, that’s too late…

“You know, like, uhm… using the proper protection… and…”

“Jeez, auntie, can we please, please not have this conversation?” I couldn’t even look at her anymore.

“But… this is important. And we haven’t even… properly talked about this issue…”

I just wanted to die (haven’t felt like that in a while now), and groaned.

“Listen, I am aware of… protection issues. I know what can happen and how to prevent it. Please, can we end this? It’s so embarrassing.”

She nodded, my relieve mirrored on her face. “Just… be careful, okay?”

“I will.” From now on…

 Since it was Saturday, I decided to do some laundry first and go shopping afterwards. After another two cups of coffee I went to my room and phoned Penny.

He didn’t pick up – or rather, the signal didn’t go through.

Unnerved I looked up to balloons that were still floating around the ceiling. “When did life become so complicated?”, I asked the ‘I love Derry’ balloon.

“And why would that be?”, a familiar voice giggled into my left ear. I turned around so fast my feet caught each other and I tumbled head first into a silken embrace. Penny picked me up, whirled me around and very nearly crashed my head into the ceiling. He looked so much bigger in my little room. Meanwhile, Penny continued giggling like crazy, dancing across the floor with me in his arms. His exuberant joy was contagious, but auntie could probably hear him, and I really had no idea how I would explain the situation.

“Penny, please be quiet, auntie will hear us…”

He didn’t care, cackling on, and pulled me into a tighter embrace. There was only one thing I could do to shut him up – granted, that was just a pretext – and so I kissed him enthusiastically. The moment our lips met I didn’t care any longer about being found out. His skin was so impossibly smooth, and his taste nothing short of addicting. I playfully dragged my tongue over his buck teeth, than bit down ever so lightly on his plump lower lip. A growl started within him, vibrating through his body right into mine. Hungrily he thrust his tongue into my mouth, going so deep I almost started gagging. I fumbled at his jacket, desperate to feel the warmth of his body, while Penny pulled up my baggy sleeping shirt and massaged my breasts.

God, I was fucking horny.

The familiar heat and moisture built up in my pussy, and I could also feel Penny becoming hard. I was just about to pull down his pants when auntie called for me.

“Are you alright, honey?”

It took me second to answer her. “What? Oh, yeah, everything’s okay.”

“You sound weird. Are you sure?”

I could hear her coming up the stairs. Not good.

I climbed down from Penny and desperately dressed me as fast as I could. In my panic I threw my soaked pants under my bed, but auntie was already heading to my room. I turned around to look at Penny, desperately pleading with him in my mind to hide himself, and stared at a stranger.

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

That guy is crazy, but DAMN! 😂🎈🎈🎈🎈

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 16 (light fluff)

Warning: harsh language, violence

“I’m thankful you made it, girl”, Bee mumbled. I had always been told I looked like the living death, but I was pretty sure it had been nowhere near as true as for my friend. Her skin sported some angry burn marks next to blotches of greenish white. Her hair was in disarray, her voice incredibly horse and her always lively blue eyes covered by her drooping eyelids. The sterile white of the room and the neon lights didn’t do much to improve that impression. She spoke slowly, still drowsy from the events and the anesthetics. I gently took her hand, stroking her while she coughed.

“I’m so sorry this happened to you, Bee. I hope they’ll catch those bastards.”

She briefly squeezed my hand, but it cost her a lot of strength.

“It’s all right to sleep a little, you know? The doctors said the cops will probably arrive in an hour or so, so there’s enough time for you to relax a little more.”

She smiled at me, and closed her eyes. Soon her breathing rhythm changed, letting me know she was fast asleep. I kept holding her hand (the only place where you could truly see her age), while I let my mind wander. Though I didn’t know when exactly auntie had met Bee, she had told me it was at the former restaurant she had worked at. Bee was a regular, and they somehow bonded over cheap food and lousy coffee. Soon their chats were located at their homes (mainly because the coffee was better), and they became good friends, despite their age gap.

Bee was actually the one who helped auntie with all the legal crap concerning my adoption. Since my mom herself had been adopted by auntie’s parents there were no actual blood ties, and Derry’s officials tended to be picky about those things. Bee had always been kind to me, and even in my numbness I somehow knew that she had a deeper understanding of all the crap happening to us than you would suspect. She never treated me like a raw egg, and spoke her mind.

She was a tough, compassionate bitch, and I admired her for that.

Now she lay before me, looking old and fragile, and my mind struggled to unite the Bee in my mind with the Bee before my eyes. I sighed, and turned my thoughts to other things – meaning I thought of Pennywise.

He had finally stopped after I blurted out the L-word, making me run right into him. The impact send me stumbling sideways into the wooden wall, and I caught my hands on a protruding nail (or something). I could feel blood running from the wound, and I held it up to his face.

“If you don’t believe me, try my blood.”

Penny slowly turned towards me, his eyes still burning, and I had no idea what he was going to do. We stood like this for quite some time. Finally my hand started shaking as it became heavy, and he gingerly took it into his. I smiled unconsciously, but he simply closed my fingers with his own, letting my arm disappear between the silk of his gloves.

“Go see her”, he whispered, and then he suddenly disappeared.

I had searched for him, called his name and even attempted a little climb into the well, but I didn’t find him. In the end I just gave up and hurried to the hospital, where Bee just came around enough to talk to me.

I was upset.

Just when I thought Penny and I had become close (at least as close as two emotionally crippled beings can be) I somehow managed to cause him pain. Absentmindedly I pulled my hair, only stopping when I realized that a little nest of hair had formed at my feet.

I spent the rest of the time holding Bee’s hand again, until she started moving. She had barely been awake again five minutes when the cops arrived. They weren’t exactly encouraging, but very thorough. Unfortunately Bee didn’t remember much, as her sleeping pills had done a proper job. They left us after almost an hour, promising to keep Bee up to date. As soon as they were gone I turned to her, somewhat anxious about my proposal.

“Bee, I know you’ll be here for some time, but I wanted to offer you Mr. Shanks’ apartment. I’m not going to need it any time soon, and I’d clean it out and prepare it for you. Only if you want to, of course.”

She looked at me with big eyes, and I could have sworn I saw tears in them. When she finally spoke her voice was rasping. “That’s very nice of you, girl, to take in an old wench like me.”

I laughed about that, though I wasn’t entirely sure why. “You’re not an old wench, silly. And I’d be glad to have an honest tenant like you. No burglar would dare to rob my store knowing you live above it.”

She smiled at me weakly. “Not so sure about that.”

“Well, never mind the last part then. Depending on the correctness of Mr. Shanks’ numbers I’ll probably invest into some sort of security system.”

We chatted for a while, but Bee became tired again. Before I left, however, she inquired about my Halloween experience.

“Oh, it was great. You know, I took Benny me to Aladdin’s, and we were out trick-or-treating till early in the morning.” I blushed a little as I deliberately left out the “after” part. Bee saw right through me, of course.

“You like that boy, don’t you?”

I nodded, feeling the heat return to my cheeks. “We even had matching costumes”, I blurted out, hiding my face in my hands.

Bee laughed at me, but in a kind way. “So, what horror did you bestow upon poor Derry this year?”

“We dressed up at clowns.”

Her laughter stopped immediately.

“Why would you dress as a clown?”, she asked me, her face dead serious.

“Oh, you know, we thought it would be something different. There have been all those creepy clown sightings, and then American Horror Story picked it up. Took me much more time than I thought it would, though.”

Bee seemed to relax a little.

“You know, I’d never thought you had coulrophobia, Bee. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

She shook her head, but her smile was more than a little troubled. “I had very nearly forgotten about it”, she whispered. I left her even more confused than I had arrived.

  It was nearly dark when I arrived back at Neibolt Street. I had taken a quick detour to get a little something for Penny, but I wasn’t sure  whether he would actually be there. And I had serious doubts whether my present would actually be any good – it might very well end in a catastrophe.

The door didn’t move when I closed in – a bad sign to begin with. I knocked tentatively before I opened the door, but got no response. Even as I wandered through the house, calling for him, no sound could be heard. I made my way up to our special little room and nestled into the bean bag. Even its scent seemed to be less intense than before.

I was tired, sad, but also a little angry. After sending auntie a message that Bee was fine so far and that I would go to the library to study, I pulled out my textbooks and started studying by the light of my phone. I’d stay here until he’d come out and talk to me, and I was going to make use of the time until then. But the minutes turned into hours, and my eyes grew heavy. I decided to take a little break and closed my eyes (just a little bit), feeling my breath slowing down…

… and sat up straight. My phone had fallen from my hands, which apparently had made enough noise to wake me up. I had slid to the very edge of the bean bag, my books lying scattered around me. A brief glance at my phone told me I couldn’t have slept for too long. I tried to wiggle out of the bean bag, but it always gave way at the worst possible moment, making me slide in the wrong direction.

After several minutes I stopped struggling, letting myself fall back – and stared straight into Penny’s silver eyes. I gasped and immediately reached out to touch him. He smiled half-heartedly, but he did pick me up, resting me against his chest.

“Listen, Penny, I never meant to hurt you…”, I started, but he closed my mouth unceremoniously with his hand while simultaneously pressing me tighter against him. So I shut up and just sunk against him, finally relaxing, I felt him move, then I heard him drawing in breath next to my ear. He was sniffing me, breathing in the scent of my hair and my skin. It felt like he was studying me, or searching for something, but I didn’t care.

When he finally let go of me I took his face in both of my hands (or at least tried to; my hands barely covered his cheeks), forcing him to look me in the eye.

“I told you, I love you, Penny. I don’t know why or how this happened, but I don’t care. Do you understand what that means to a human like me? It means you’re the most important one to me. It makes me nervous when you’re not around, and seeing you unhappy breaks my heart, as I have just discovered. I don’t want you to disappear, and I want you to be happy. And I want to know more about you. In fact, I want to know everything there is to know, okay? But I am a human, albeit a strange one. I have human duties like school, and I owe auntie and Bee for giving me a life. If it weren’t for them I’d never even seen you again.”

I took a deep breath as Penny’s eyes turned a light shade of blue.

“I had sex with you. That is a huge deal for me and for many people. It’s a thing that makes you vulnerable in many ways, but it was wonderful to do that with you.”

Before I could go on he kissed me deeply, his tongue thrusting into my mouth. I was gasping for breath by the time he withdrew himself and hugged me tightly against his chest.

“I enjoyed that too, little one.” The way he lingered on each t sent shivers down my spine. Relieve washed through me. Talking to Penny about these things was a very curious deal – firstly, because it was all new to me and I had a hard time figuring my feelings out; secondly, because I was actually embarrassed; and thirdly, because it was easier than it should be. After all those things had to be news to him too, and even more so because he wasn’t human. My explanations were clumsy at best, but he always listened intently with his head cocked to the side.

“I have something for you”, I murmured against the silk on my lips. His bells jingled as he let go of me, and I decided to record them as my ringtone – I loved their sound.

Here goes nothing.

I offered my present to Penny, and he took it gingerly, clearly curious.  He opened it, letting the contents fall into his hand – and stared at the phone. His face was priceless, and I couldn’t help myself. Chuckling, I reached for the phone and turned it around so he faced the screen.

“I know you know when I think of you, but with this I can call you or write you messages, even when I’m not around. And you can do so too! It’ll allow me to spend time with you even when I have to do something else, and it will be easier for me to know where you are. But only if you are okay with that.”

He eyed the phone suspiciously, but I could tell his curiosity had won over.

“How does this work?”

I explained it to him to the best of my abilities, but he didn’t seem quite convinced. It was a simple thing, nothing to fancy, prepaid and had a sturdy battery which I would recharge every week or so. I showed him how to text and call me, watching him closely all the while, anxious for his response.

“But you will still talk to me, won’t you?”, he asked.

“Of course. This is only for when I can’t be around, okay?”

He sighed, then the phone disappeared somewhere in his clothes.

“Thank you”, I beamed.

He smiled at me impishly, radiating mischief. “But you’ll have to read me something first!”

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Masterlist (Chapters 1 - 15)

 (Intro (Pennywise POV): https://shadowsfiguresfigments.tumblr.com/post/168012369275/a-good-place-to-die-intro

Chapter 1:https://shadowsfiguresfigments.tumblr.com/post/168012466280/a-good-place-to-die-chapter-1

Chapter 2:https://shadowsfiguresfigments.tumblr.com/post/168012544145/a-good-place-to-die-chapter-2

Chapter 3: https://shadowsfiguresfigments.tumblr.com/post/168012581150/a-good-place-to-die-chapter-3

Chapter 4: https://shadowsfiguresfigments.tumblr.com/post/168193211710/a-good-place-to-die-chapter-4

Chapter 5: (+Pennywise POV) https://shadowsfiguresfigments.tumblr.com/post/168219975380/a-good-place-to-die-chapter-5

Chapter 6: https://shadowsfiguresfigments.tumblr.com/post/168225473330/a-good-place-to-die-chapter-6

Chapter 7 (Light fluff): https://shadowsfiguresfigments.tumblr.com/post/168265356600/a-good-place-to-die-chapter-7-light-fluff

Chapter 8 (Light fluff): https://shadowsfiguresfigments.tumblr.com/post/168284230785/a-good-place-to-die-chapter-8-light-fluff

Chapter 9 (Light fluff, +Pennywise POV): https://shadowsfiguresfigments.tumblr.com/post/168332976845/a-good-place-to-die-chapter-9-light-fluff

Chapter 10 (Fluff): https://shadowsfiguresfigments.tumblr.com/post/168425113610/a-good-place-to-die-chapter-10-fluff

Chapter 11 (Fluff): https://shadowsfiguresfigments.tumblr.com/post/168573373195/a-good-place-to-die-chapter-11-fluff

Chapter 12  (Light): https://shadowsfiguresfigments.tumblr.com/post/168712102300/a-good-place-to-die-chapter-12-light-fluff

Chapter 13/1 (Fluff): https://shadowsfiguresfigments.tumblr.com/post/168717629645/a-good-place-to-die-chapter-13-part-1-fluff

Chapter 13/2 (Fluff): https://shadowsfiguresfigments.tumblr.com/post/168762662935/a-good-place-to-die-chapter-13-part-2-fluff

Chapter 14 (Smut): https://shadowsfiguresfigments.tumblr.com/post/168849121630/a-good-place-to-die-chapter-14-smut

Chapter 15 (+Pennywise POV): https://shadowsfiguresfigments.tumblr.com/post/170119568355/a-good-place-to-die-chapter-15