shamesedowning-blog

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♥ STUDY GUIDE: how to slay the grades & stay motivated

Topics covered:

My general tips

How to study

Dealing with bad grades

Useful links

Keep reading

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Where do I find this thing called Happiness’

So today I learned something new. Happiness does not grow on trees. In fact, its not even in the air we breathe. Happiness is not material, atmospheric, you can’t buy it, and you can’t earn it. It comes from within. You honestly have to be ready for it, you have to get to a certain point in your life where you deserve it. And it does not just come to you just because you been through something, it comes to you when you truly need it. I believe once you finally receive it you never lose it. When you start to fully acknowledge what really upsets you, and you fully begin to realize how to change it. That’s when are happiness shines its naked light. We aren’t meant to stress out in life. We are meant to love up on one another and appreciate whatever life hands us. Just like the old saying goes when life hands you lemons make lemonade. Are happiness comes from when we take whatever difficult situation life hands us and we make the very best out of it. Happiness comes when I set goals and work towards them, when I have friends and family to rely on and have plans with. Find your happiness wherever it is

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She was one of a kind because she was two sides to the same coin. Emotional yet brutal, loving yet independent, mystifying but also an open book… and in the end she was happy yet heart broken.

A. J. Ibrahim // two sides to the same coin (via voicelessconfessions)

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Confidently lost’

As I sit here contemplating my next move, I also acknowledge the fact that I am LOST, but not any kind of lost..I am confidently lost. I don’t know where i’m going or who i’m going to be next but I do know I am going to get there. As i struggle through my daily quest, for a brief moment, I stumble into discouragement. But, this faint and warm feeling returns of pure confidence. Confidence in knowing i’m going to get there, confidence in knowing my breakthrough is on the way, confidence in knowing although I may have failed today tomorrow is a brand new day, confidence in knowing that new opportunities await and I can and will prevail within them, and perhaps the most important of all; confidence in knowing my god will never forsake me or leave me,,if he is for me , who can ever be against me.

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Even the warmth of the fire couldn’t rival her smile

Excerpt from a book I’ll never write (via small-sentences)

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‘I hope you get through it, whatever it is your going through’

I find myself struggling. This is nothing new, to be honest, this has been an ongoing battle for me. I struggle because I cant make sense of my emotions. I feel nothing, I’m empty inside. When I mention I feel nothing, I don’t mean literally, nor do I mean emotionally wise..I mean when I think about my future wedding I think and I feel nothing.I draw a complete blank..Or when I ponder about whom my ideal man would be or look like in god’s image..I feel nothing..No excitement rises, no joy, its almost at the point where I could care less...I struggle because I fall to easily in a comfort zone that I can’t seem to break free from. I struggle because i’m more afraid of what others think about what I wear, what I look like, then what I think about myself..My life thus far has been a fairy tale, imagination, of a depicted reality that does not exist in my world. I study, search, and spend hours looking and envying other peoples lives that i forget to live my own. I don’t know who I am, and I don’t know how to find myself. I have lived play by play, attempting to break free from the enemies threshold over my heart, and my mind, and my soul. I have gotten saved, baptized and have given my all thus far to acknowledge Jesus Christ as my lord and savior, but yet i sit here, in tears, wondering why can’t I be me. Have my past rejections, hurts and sorrows completely trapped my inner soul so deeply that there is no way I’ll meet me again. Am I not deep enough into the word, which defines who I am in god’s eyes, the only eyes that matter, that I can’t come to terms with my own reality.

I don’t even know how to enjoy the things i once loved such as writing, drawing, talking and having fun. I spend most of my days thus far searching and comparing myself to others. In fact, I get so discouraged that I pretend I hate certain things just to impress people or seem cool. All that has gotten was friendless, all that has gotten me was trying to match with people i have nothing in common with. Ultimately, it ended in a friendship that was never meant to happen in the first place. I can remember before becoming a christian, I would down play myself whenever I mentioned something even remotely important to me. “I would say wow that’s cute, but not on me i’m too ugly” sounds normal except ever word/sentence that came out of my mouth was followed by my own slander. How do I get me back god? How do I become the women you called me to be? How do I let go the frustrations and anger that haunt me day in and day out. I quit my job of 4 years without a new job on your word. Because it has down nothing but demean me and attack my spirit. I trust you god but why am I so quick to anger? I think its because I’m searching constantly for myself and I keep coming up short.

I think I’m suppose to have these things other people have and i’m finding its not only unattainable because thats not who I am, but also because its not who you are. I’m reaching for things you never declared as mine. I’m fighting for a persona that conflicts with my personality. I am denying myself of my true identity and allowing myself too shrink in the presence whom are just like me. 

I’m hopeful I will breakthrough, I refuse to cry, to give up, and to be afraid of any human being. I know i cant get hit and cry, I have to be ready to fight. I have to stay focus on god’s word inevitably. I have to fight the enemy within for love, happiness, peace, and ME.