shanair

[shanair]

Rick and Morty X F!Reader | S1E6

Episode Name- Rick Potion #9

Word Count- 4,398

Morty and I stand around at our lockers at school, I scroll on my phone as he gets his stuff. Principal… Vagina speaks overhead on the intercom. Man, our school is a joke.

“Principal Vagina here, don't let the name fool you, I'm very much in charge, reminding you that tonight is our annual flu season dance. I don't know how many times I have to say this but if you have the flu, stay home, the flu season dance is about awareness, not celebration. You don't bring dead babies to Passover.”

I find myself snickering at what probably wasn’t meant to be a joke. I look up at the sound of Morty slamming his locker shut to look over at Jessica, whom her friends had just approached. He doesn’t look in my direction, but I know what he’s going to do- god that idiot needs to stop trying to get with her, it’s so sad to watch.

“Ohhh. Okay, here we go.” I hear him psych himself up, I should stop him. Butttt, sad or not it’s entertaining. He walks over to her nervously. “H-Hey, Jessica, uhh-”

“What's up, Morty?” She greeted before sneezing. Morty stutters again but Brad doesn’t give him the chance to respond. He swings Jessica behind him with his arm, I scoff audibly.

“What are you doing?” He butts in, already up in Morty’s face. I push myself off the locker to stand near Morty.

“Ummm…” Morty stammered.

“Wait, wait. Were you about to talk... to her?” Brad points to Jessica.

“Well, I mean, I was thinking about it.”

“Dude-” Brad taps Morty’s chest, “stay in your league! Look at how hot she is! You don't see me going to a bigger school in a wealthier district and hittin' on their prettiest girl!” Jessica sighs and lets Brad lead her away, I hear her sarcastically mutter.

“Gee, thanks, Brad.”

“I throw balls far. You want good words, date a languager.” Brad yaps as he walks off with Jessica. At least she seemed, happier talking to Morty? I guess? I wrap my arm around Morty, grinning at him.

“Oh don’t worry about it too much, Morty. She’ll dump him soon enough after she’s done with his bullshit.”

“W-well that’s easy for you to say. I don’t want her later, I want her now- so I can go to the dance with her!” He sighs. He does make a good point, I shrug at him.

“Be realistic! There is no way you can make her like you right now. Can we go now?”

“Fine, fine.” He swats my arm off as we go to class.

. . .

I follow Rick into the kitchen as he gets something to drink, Dad stands behind the counter making a complex sandwich while Morty sits solemnly in front of him, with a plate of cookies. 

“...I remember feeling that way about a young lady named your mom, and that's not an urban dis, your mom was my Jessica. I remember the first time I saw her, I thought…”

“--I should get her pregnant, then she'll have to marry me” Rick interjects as he grabs a glass and opens the fridge, I walk over to Morty and steal a cookie. He’s too sad to care, score!

“I beg your pardon, Rick, inappropriate.” Dad warned as he pointed to Morty and I.

“Sorry, please proceed with your story about banging my daughter in high school,” Rick rolled his eyes, “I'm not sure you want to take romantic advice from this guy, Morty, his marriage is hanging from a thread.”

“My marriage is fine, thank you.” Dad replied defensively, turning around fully to Rick as he walked up.

“Jerry, it's your house, whatever you say it is is how it is, but I think a blind man could see that Beth is looking for the door. I barely have a reason to care and even I noticed.”

“Rick that’s harsh,” I add, Morty tacks on.

“Come on, Rick, don't talk about our parents like that.”

“Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love" is a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it, your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science. At least your sister isn’t pinning over a rando anymore.” Rick monologued before leaving the room with his juice. As much as I like to be the better sibling I am still pinning, but at least not to Morty’s level. Don’t know if I should be disappointed or proud of his tenacity. The silence drags out as Dad walks over to us.

“Alright, well, I'm gonna go get dressed for the dance.” Morty said awkwardly before leaving his seat. Dad looks at me awkwardly.

“Yeah, I'm just going to...check on your mom.” He walks off too, both of them leaving me alone in the kitchen. 

“And they both left perfectly good food.” I comment at the discarded cookies and sandwich, I ponder skipping the dance and just sitting here but Morty shouldn’t suffer alone.. I guess. I finish up the cookies while I wait for Morty to finish getting ready. 

Once he’s out of our room I take the chance to get ready myself. I sit on my side of the room, taking my time to get dressed. I don’t care about this dance but I might as well look nice. Besides, maybe Olivia will be there. I’m not a big dress person but I put on an old one that Summer had, I could almost hear her when she gave it to me. ‘What and you’re so skinny then? Fine! You have it then, I don’t care!’, and then she ran out of the room crying. It wasn’t my fault, she asked how it looked on her and I said snug- oh. Yeah, I see why, oops. My dilemma ends when I realize I had zoned out thinking about that memory and now I’m ready. 

I walk to Rick’s garage, knowing that’s where Morty probably was, and I was right. My face dropped as I saw Morty as he was starting to zip his fly down, Rick was leaned over a machine near him with his back towards me. Morty gives me a dumbfounded face, I scrunch mine up in aversion.

“Am I interrupting, or???” I ask cautiously, Morty pulls it back up.

“Rick needed DNA.” He shrugs and Rick shakes his head before turning back to Morty.

“A hair, Morty, I needed one of your hairs! This isn't Game Of Thrones.” He plucks a hair from Morty. Morty shrieked quietly as Rick plucked a strand off his head. He shoves the hairpiece into the machine which deposits an orangey substance into a flask.

“What is this for exactly?” I question while walking to take a better look.

“Your brother wanted to make a love potion, so I used the oxytocin from voles combined with his DNA to concoct this.” Rick picks up the flask, handing it to Morty. “Alright, Morty, whoever you smear this stuff on will fall in love with you, and only you, forever. Ya happy now, Morty?” He walks away to sit back on his desk.

“Heck yeah! Thank you, Grandpa Rick!” Morty cheered as he took the potion happily. “Hey there's no dangers or anything or side effects, right?”

“Www.. what am I, a hack?! Go nuts, Morty, it's full proof.”

“Are you sure, Rick? Positive that nothing will go wrong? No small tiny details?” I push. Knowing Rick there has got to be something iffy about this. You can’t just mess around with love that delicately. Morty tugs on my arm as Rick turns back over.

“W-what are you going to doubt Rick’s invention? Let’s go! Jessica is waiting for me!” Morty frowned as he pulled me out of the room. Oh boy.

. . .

“This isn’t a good idea Morty!” I insist as we walk around the dance looking for Jessica.

“Shh! You’re just jealous… Oh! There she is!” Morty smiled. He pulled the potion out and smeared it on his hands. I sigh and accept he’s going to do this. I instead glance around the gym. It was decently packed, who knew a dance about flu prevention would have no physical aspects to enforce flu prevention? Eh, our school is a shithole anyway. Oh no, our school is a shithole. I can already feel myself worrying about catching the flu again, sure I have the shot, but these kids probably have an advanced strain that’ll mutilate my immune system. I wonder how many people have already spread it around. 

“Hey there, Jessica” Morty reaches Jessica, pretending to trip as he smears the potion on her exposed arm. “Whoops!”

She turns around, I can see the change in her demeanor as she grabs him close to her.

“Omigod, Morty. You look really nice tonight.”

“O-Wow, thanks!”

“I love you, Morty. I love you so much it burns!” I cringe as she starts caressing his face.

“Oh, man. I love you too, Jessica!” Morty smiled like an idiot up at her while Brad shoved in between the two.

“Is this punk bothering you, Jessica?!”

“Leave him alone, jerk!” Jessica hissed as she lost her shit. She gets up in Brad’s face aggressively. “I'm in love with him! He's more man than you will ever be!” She sneezes into his face. Yeah, sure she’s trying to defend Morty, but she could have at least covered when sneezing.

Brad’s face contorts a little before merging into remorse, surprisingly. He sighs.

“Aw man, Morty, ugh, I'm really sorry.”

“Oh, well, no problem Brad.” Morty replied, equally confused as I am. I see him glance over at me and I shrug in return.

“There's somethin' special bout you, somethin' special.” Brad hugs Morty before squeezing his ass. Something’s not right here.

“Whoa, take it easy!” Morty shouted as he pushed Brad off. Jessica grabs Morty’s left arm, narrowing her eyes at Brad.

“Get your hands off of him!” She screeched.

“Back off I'm trying to be with my man!” Brad shouted back before Principal Vagina and Mr. Goldenfold pull him off.

“That's enough Bradley. We don't want you injuring your ball-throwing arm.” Principal Vagina said as they dragged Brad off.

“Never leave me, Morty, never.” Jessica pulls Morty with her and I grab him. I see her glare daggers at me.

“Morty, you need to end this now. I have a bad feeling.” I whisper to him in a hushed voice. I overhear Brad's calling out for Morty as he’s brought out of the gym. “See?” Morty gives me a nervous look before Jessica intervenes.

“You have a problem, bitch?!” She gets in my face, pushing Morty behind him. “You want him too?! You can’t have him! You can never have him– or take him away from me.”

“Jesus Christ Jessica no I do not want to… take Morty away from you, I just want to talk to him.” 

“LIAR!” She shouted before grappling me.

“Jessica stop it!” I hear Morty protest, and other students look at us strangely. I throw Jessica to the ground but she immediately stands up, running at me like a madman. Okay why is it always Morty getting us into these situations, I can’t even go a week peacefully. But I’m his sister, so today cannot be the day where I start ditching him. So of course, I square up.

. . .

Jessica ends up shoving me into the crowd, and one of her friends catches me. She fucking growls at me before turning back to Morty. She pushes herself up against him. 

“Do it, Morty. Do it. Rip my clothes off and mate with me for life!”

“Jessica, get a hold of yourself!” The friend cried out before dropping me and rushing up to Morty to hold him as well. “You don’t deserve to carry Morty’s genes.” Simultaneously, everyone surrounding the fight gets the same possessive look in their eyes. I’m pushed back as even the DJ starts to sing about Morty.

“I love Morty and I hope Morty loves me I'd like to wrap my arms around him and feel him inside me”

“Oh, crap. Morty!” I shout over the crowd as they all crowd and fight each other for Morty. I get trampled partially as I push against the rushing crowd into the opening. The exit pushes open behind me and I look up to see Rick.

“(Y/N)!” Rick steadies me as he sees Morty sprinting towards us, the crowd scrambling behind him. “Morty, come on! We got to get you out of here. You're not gonna believe this because it usually never happens, but I made a mistake.” He shuts the door as we rush past, and the doors are immediately rammed into by the horny crowd. 

Another door bursts open as Principal Vagina runs behind us.

“Morty, are you okay?”

“I'm fine!” He shouts back.

“Oh, good. If anything ever happened to you, I would kill myself. I love you bad, mo-mo!”

“Ha! You got Mr. Vagina in love with you Morty! M-maybe I am jealous!” I grin through my labored breath. Jeez, this dress is not the running kind.

“Morty, the principal, and I have discussed it, a-a-and we're both insecure enough to agree to a three-way!” Another voice speaks out, I turn around and see Mr. Goldenfold. My eyebrows rise at the prospect but we make it outside. We rush into the ship, Morty trips but I turn him over into the seat. As I grip the handle to pull shut, the crowd pushes it in for me. The vehicle shakes as we settle in. 

“I didn't realize when I gave you that serum that Jessica had the flu you know, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-that might have been valuable information for me, Morty.” Rick groaned as he started the ship.

“What the hell is going on, Rick?!” Morty and I ask. Rick glared at our combined question.

“What does it look like? T-t-t-the serum is piggybacking on the virus. It's gone airborne.”

“Oh, crap. What are we gonna do, Rick?” Morty wailed.

“It's gonna be fine, Morty, relax. I whipped up an antidote. It's based on praying mantis DNA. You know, praying mantises are the exact opposite of voles, Morty. I mean, they-they mate once, and then they, you know, decapitate the partner. I mean, it's a whole ritual. It's really gruesome and totally opposite. There's no love at all. I-I-I basically mixed this with a more contagious flu virus. It should neutralize the whole thing, Morty. It'll all be over very shortly.” We fly over the crowd below after Rick pours his antidote into the ship as it expels a mist version over the crowd. “Uh, by the way, Morty, I know you didn't ask or anything, but I'm not interested in having sex with you. These serums, they don't work on anybody related to you genetically.”

“Uhm, obviously!” I retort. “I think we’ve picked up on that. Wait, considering Morty and I are twins, why aren’t they attracted to me?” 

“Y-you guys aren’t technically identical twins. You two share most of the same DNA initially, but when your chromosomes changed to XX instead of XY that’s a biggg difference.”

“Is it?”

“Ya, because I said so–”

“OH MY GOD!” Morty screeched, startling me as he stared in horror outside the window. I look out it also, everyone hit by the ‘antidote’ turned into an amalgamation of a praying mantis. Rick grimaced himself. 

“Okay, well, sometimes, science is more art than science, twins. A lot of people don't get that.”

. . .

We had parked the ship in a desert canyon. We stand and watch different broadcasts across the world looking for Morty so they can have sex with him before chopping his head off. He paces and freaks out.

“Oh, my god, Rick. The whole world is infected!”

“Yeah, it's pretty wild how fast that spread. I've really outdone myself.” Rick gloats, working on something else connected to the ship.

“Outdone yourself?! W-w a-are are you kidding me, Rick? This is not okay! Not only do they all want to have sex with me, but, you know, now they want to eat me afterwards!”

“Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. Mantises are they opposite of voles? I mean, obviously, DNA's a little more complicated than that. You know what, though, Morty?” He pulls out another vial, this one filled with a purple liquid. “This right here's gonna do the trick, baby. It's koala mixed with rattlesnake, chimpanzee, cactus, shark, golden retriever, and just a smidge of dinosaur. Should add up to normal humanity.”

“I don't that doesn't make any sense, Rick. How does that add up to normal humanity?” 

“What, Morty, you want me to show you my math? I'm sorry a-are you the scientist or are you the kid that wanted to get laid?”

“It’s not his fault for being cautious, first you left out important information after we specifically asked for it, then you mess up fixing that mistake and start an apocalypse! Clearly, you don’t know what you’re doing!” I fuss, and Rick sighs obnoxiously.

“Okay, fine, whatever. Since you’re the smartass, you can make a serum to end this.” I stay quiet because I in fact know nothing about what he’s doing. “Exactly, get in the car.” We pile back in before flying back into civilization. The town is already wrecked, fire and destruction everywhere. It’s scary how fast this happened. I’m starting to get nervous now, what if Rick really can’t fix this? He nudges my shoulder. “Take a good look down there, (Y/N), and soak it in, because, you know, once I pull this lever, it's all back to normal.”

“I hope so. Just do it already.”

“Well, technically, (Y/N), there's no rush. I mean, you know, o-once it's fixed, it's done. It's fixed. You know, we could we could just enjoy it for a little bit. I mean, l-l-l-look at how crazy it is. I mean, (Y/N), w-w-when's the next time you're gonna see something like this? I mean, soak it in, you know? It's it's pretty neat. It's pretty interesting.”

“Please shut up–”

“That's it, Rick! I'm pulling the lever.” Morty yells as he pulls the lever, releasing the new antidote. Everyone melts back to normal.

“W-what do we have here, twins? Looks like I was right and you were wrong, huh? I-I-I-I-I-I-I bet you feel pretty stupid right about now, huh? I-I-I bet you both feel like the world's smallest kids that you were doubting me about this whole thing.”

“Oh, Rick,”

“Something's not right.” I exhale as everyone outside starts to crumble down to the ground. Their bodies convulse unnaturally.

“Yeah, you. You're not right ever.”

“No, no! Look, you idiot!” I force Rick to look outside. Everyone screamed as they turned into these fleshy bug-looking creatures. Many with extra appendages, eyes, and some even wings. 

Morty and I watch in horror as Rick once again screws up everything. Albeit this idea was Morty’s, Rick could have stopped this if he had just warned us in the beginning.

“Bet you're loving this. This must be the best day of your life. You get to be the mayor of I told you town. You're welcome.” Rick babbled drunkenly as he drank more from his flask. 

Holy shit. This is irreversible, isn’t it? The world is in ruins because of Morty’s stupid hormones. Everything is different now, it’s unfixable. What’s happening with our family right now? What if they got ripped apart by those… things? The sun rises on the broken world as we settle down on a rooftop. We walk out to sit on the ledge.

“Boy, I really cronenberged the world up, didn't I? We got a whole planet of cronenbergs walking around down there. Hey, Morty. A-at least they're not in love with you anymore, though. That's a huge step in the right direction.

“Oh, my god! It's a living nightmare! How could you be so irresponsible, Rick?” Morty cried.

“Me irresponsible?! You- all I wanted you to do was hand me a screwdriver, Morty! You're the one who wanted to be wanted me to buckle down and make you up a... roofie-juice serum so you could roofie that poor girl at your school. I mean, g w-w-w-w-w w are you kidding me, Morty? You're gonna try to take the high road on this one? Y-y-y-y-you're a little creep, Morty. Y-you're a you're you're you're just a little creepy... creep person.” Rick lectured as he stood up. Fine, Morty was a creep, is a creep. But Rick is still the ass here.

“All right, fine. I should have just listened to you when you refused to make the serum. I'm willing to accept my part of the blame for this, Rick. But I'll tell you something you know what? You got to accept your part of the blame! I'm not the one who fooled up the serum! I'm not the one who-who-who-who haphazardly, you know, mixed a bunch of nonsense together and created a bunch of cronenbergs! You got to fix this, Rick!” Morty yells defensively as he stands up as well.

“Yeah, Rick! Fix this! There are millions– no billions of lives that are now destroyed because of your crappy serum! Okay? This one is on, you!” I stand up as well, crossing my arms. I now realize how messed up my dress is but in a less torn fashion than Morty’s. I cannot believe I’m saying this but, I miss Summer. Rick steps closer to us, trying to reconcile.

“All right, all right, Morty. You know, w-w-w-we are in a pretty deep hole, here, but I do have one emergency solution that I can use that'll kind of put everything back to normal, relatively speaking. Here, Morty, put this on while I do a little bit of scouting.” Rick tosses Morty this metal backpack with a green panel, before putting on goggles. This better be a good plan.

. . .

IT WAS NOT A GOOD PLAN!!! Morty and I freak as we walk through a portal into a different dimension. Three identical bodies to our own lay mangled on the ground, blood everywhere.

“Oh, my god, Rick!” I cover my mouth in shock and fear as the metallic smell rushes into my face.

“Is that us?! W-w-w-we're dead! What is going on, Rick? I'm freaking out!” Morty cried hysterically.

“Calm down, you two!” Rick shouted but we tuned him out.

“Oh my god, oh my god. I can’t do this– I cannot, do this.” I pace around while Morty makes more noises of disgust combined with fear.

“I can't deal with this, Rick!” Morty shook his head as Rick grasped him.

“Calm down, Morty!” Rick shook him as I grabbed a trash can and promptly vomited into it. My eyes are pricked with tears at the brutality and the sickly feeling in my stomach.

“This can't be real!”

“You got to calm down, Morty.” Rick reiterates as I retch more, standing up I move over to the two.

“Rick! W-w-w-we-we’re ripped apart!” I stammer, he reaches over and grabs my head before knocking it into Morty’s. The shock shuts us up as he makes us focus on him.

“Shut up and listen to me! It's fine. Everything is fine. There's an infinite number of realities, and in a few dozen of those, I got lucky and turned everything back to normal. I just had to find one of those realities in which we also happen to all die around this time. Now we can just slip into the place of our dead selves in this reality and everything will be fine. We're not skipping a beat, twins. Now, help me with these bodies.”

“This is insane.” Morty muttered as he crouched down near ourselves. Rick hauls up his own body.

“Look, guys, I'll grab myself, you grab yourselves, okay? I mean, t-t-t-that seems fair to me I mean, that seems like a fair way to divvy it up.”

“Rick, what about the reality we left behind?” I sniffed as I walked over to my body. Her eyes were still open and bulged out like they were looking straight at me. Rick’s voice droned in my head as he spoke.

“What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, (Y/N)? The answer is don't think about it. It's not like we can do this every week, anyways. We get three or four more of these, tops. Now, pick up your dead self and come on. Haste makes waste. I-I-I don't suppose you've considered this detail, but obviously, if I hadn't screwed up as much as I did, we'd be these guys right now, so, again, you're welcome.”

I suppressed my feelings as Morty and I followed Rick’s orders. We picked up our bodies, dragging them to the backyard. With every step, I felt not like myself, as if I was pushing my consciousness away. It was like I was a bystander, watching myself as I pulled another version of myself. As I dig the grave and push my body into it. I’m thinking of the God complex we must have as people. What of everyone in this universe? They’re the exact same, but they aren’t. Mom, Dad, Summer. They’re the same people, but not our people. We left our family in the universe we ruined. No goodbyes, or even anything to show that we’re okay– to see that they’re okay. The fact that we can do something like this… it’s abhorred. We’re going to live with this family that lost us, what gives us the right to replace them? Walking into the untouched home, I can tell Morty shares the same daze that I’m in. Our parents argue and shout at each other, but the only thing I hear is the ringing in my ears. The only thing I can truly see is my body staring up at me. Rick sits on the couch, unbothered next to a different Summer. Sitting next to her is strange. Everything’s okay now, we left that universe behind, and now, we can carry on with ourselves. Rick must be right, this is the best outcome we could get in our situation, right?

[shanair]

Do you still write fanfiction more specifically Rick and Morty?

I do!

[shanair]

can you do the episode where they went to the Citadel and they found evil Morty

Done! :)

[shanair]

Rick and Morty X F!Reader | S1E10

A/N: I'm back!! Sorry for the freakishly long hiatus! Life has been hectic, I hope you like this week's chapter! I didn't really know how to portray 'evil' (Y/N) so let me know what you think of this! I wanted to do a spin with Morty being the leading sibling. Anyways, enjoy! :)

-

Episode Name- Close Rick-Counters of the Rick Kind

Word Count- 4,357

Everyone sits around the table eating breakfast as usual, but today is special. It’s the anniversary of Rick coming back after… leaving Mom! Yay!! Honestly, I don’t really have any negative feelings about the anniversary of a return date, but it’s still silly to me.

“Happy anniversary, Dad!” Mom exclaimed as she set down a large plate of mini pancakes containing a singular candle. 

“Oh, I get it. Regular pancakes are already shaped like flying saucers.” Rick said as he took a bite out of a pancake. “Mmm, I should be making you breakfast for putting up with me.”

“Should be making us a whole restaurant.” Dad muttered, everyone else was pretty unphased as I was. We all ate our breakfast, considering it wasn’t that important.

“Nonsense,” Mom chuckled,  “we couldn’t be happier to have you around. I just wish I got to see more of you.”

A portal opens on the opposite wall. Three accessorized Ricks walk through, and I mean buttoned-up lab coats with belts and holsters. Two of them hold rifles while the center one speaks out. They must have been like the ones Morty and I were captured by, the mere thought of dealing with those kooks again is already annoying.

“Rick Sanchez of Earth Dimension C-137. You are under arrest for crimes against alternate Ricks by the authority of the Trans-Dimensional Council of Ricks.” He points at Rick, the others aim their rifles at our table.

“Hey! What the heck?” Dad calls out, slamming his fist on the table as he rises from his chair. I instinctively reach out for him to not do that but he disregards me.

“Neutralize the Jerry.” Leader Rick orders and one of them promptly fired their gun.

“Wait, no! I'll-”  Dad is frozen as he tries to speak. Summer immediately runs to his aid.

“Dad!” She cries, holding onto our frozen father. 

“Dad!” Mom shouts at Rick.

“Rick!” Morty and I say a little more timidly than Mom simultaneously. Rick’s expression dampens as he stands from his chair.

“Everybody relax. If I know these a-holes, and I am these a-holes, they just wanna haul me to their stupid clubhouse and waste my time with a bunch of questions. Let’s get it over with.”

“Bring his twins.” The Leader Rick belches, now pointing at us instead. Morty and I sigh.

“Oh, man…” We are then detained by the other Ricks.

“Leave my twins out of this!” Rick belched back before being detained as well.

“You lost the right to have a say in these things when you refused to join the council.” Leader Rick belched once again– okay can we stop with the belching? I get it, Rick’s an alcoholic. Sorry.

“Wait, wh-wh-wh-what about Jerry?” Mom stammered as we were being hauled by the Ricks. She points to our frozen dad.

“Will you at least unfreeze my daughter’s idiot?” Rick said before walking into the portal. The Leader Rick doesn’t say anything, but I see him shoot at Jerry before I’m also pulled through the portal.

. . .

The portal leads to a huge cliche utopian-looking city. Gold architecture with plenty of fountains that were built into this large river. Behind us is a Rick statue sitting on a throne, also in a golden texture. Looking around, it's very futuristic. It’s like you dropped yellow on a huge Star Wars spaceship. But, there’s Rick. Lots of them, I’ve heard of the citadel and different versions of ourselves but wow. All around I see Ricks, Mortys, and (Y/N)s. I guess we’re not that disposable, considering that most of these trios include both Morty and me. That's sort of comforting in a way. Perhaps that prison of ourselves was just a minority. Morty doesn’t seem to hold the same mental rollercoaster as I am however, he looks around with a cloud of naivety and marvel.

“Geez, Rick! Wh-what is this place?”

“The Citadel of Ricks. It’s the secret headquarters for the council of Ricks.” Rick answered as we started walking. I see more versions of the three of us, some lacking me, actually. I’m not as comforted.

“Council of Ricks?” 

“As you know, Morty, I’ve got a lotta enemies in the universe that consider my genius a threat. Galactic terrorists, a few sub-galactic dictators, most of the entire intergalactic government- wh-wherever you find people with heads up their asses someone wants a piece of your grandpa. And a lot of versions of me on different timelines had the same problem. So a few thousand versions of me had the ingenious idea of banding together like a herd of cattle or a school of fish or those people who answer questions on Yahoo Answers-”

“Hey, what do you know? It’s a cowboy version of us!” Morty nudges me to look at the sauntering cowboy version of us.

“Geez, you’re easy to impress. Yeah, most timelines have a Rick, and most Ricks have a set of twins. This place is a real who’s-who of who’s you and me.

“A council of Rick’s though? Very cliche…” I comment as we walk past salesman Ricks.

“Turn your boring old twins into a hot fashion statement, with some twin dazzlers!” One salesman advertises, I reach for one and Rick moves me back.

“Hey, check this out!” A second salesman shows dolls of Morty and me, he presses a speech button on their chests.

“Show me the Morty!”

“Show me the (Y/N)!” 

“Dumb.” Rick shrugged, unimpressed.

“‘Scuse me, sir. Is your Morty insured?” Another salesman approaches. “You know, every year hundreds of Mortys are injured in-”

“Back off!” Rick snaps.

“What? Why don’t I have an insurance?!” I protest. Rick ignores me.

“Not my cup of tea, this place. I say the point of being a Rick is being a Rick.”

“Save your anti-Rick speech for the council of Ricks, terror-Rick!” One of the Ricks retorted. I snorted at the phrase ‘terror-Rick’.

“Hey, save your Rick rules for the sheep-Ricks, Rick-pig.” Rick belched.

“Fuck me, pal.”

“Fuck you?! No no no no no, fuck me!”

Their bickering comes to a halt as we approach the end of a long hallway, the large doors flushing open as we’re brought under what I assume to be the council of Ricks. The room is round and golden of course. It looks to be a jury of ourselves standing around, while the Rick council is seated off above. We’re slowly pushed to the front. The center council Rick speaks.

“Bring up the holograms!” He commanded and a hologram to the side displaying multiple dead Ricks appeared. “Twenty-seven Ricks brutally murdered in their own timelines. An unprecedented Rick-icidal epidemic. What say you, Earth Rick C-137?”

“You think I did this? Why am I the first Rick you pull in every time a Rick stubs his toe?” Rick opposed as he stood forward.

“You have a history of non-cooperation with the council.”

“Yeah, so does the scientist formerly known as Rick! Wh-wh-wh-why isn’t he here in handcuffs?”

“Because he’s dead too!” A snazzy-looking Rick is shown dead on the hologram. The crowd cries out. “Who else would you have us question? You fit the profile! Of all the Ricks in the Central Finite Curve, you’re the Malcontent! The rogue.”

“I’m the Rick! And so were the rest of you before you formed this stupid alliance. You wanted to be safe from the government so you became a stupid government. That makes every Rick here less Rick than me.” The other Ricks murmur among themselves in disagreement. “Yeah, murmur it up, d-bags. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got pancakes back home with syrup on top of them. They’re about to hit that critical point of syrup absorption that turns the cakes into a gross paste. And I hate to get all Andy Rooney about it, but I think we all like fluffy discs of cake with syrup on top! And I think we also like to be accused of crimes when there’s evidence! So as they say in Canada, peace oot!”

“Evidence? Good idea. Scan his Portal Gun!” The Rick that was escorting us reached into Rick’s inner pocket, retrieving his portal gun before slotting it into the console.

“Oh, come on. Don’t look at another man’s Portal Gun history. We-we all go to weird places.”

“Yes, but it appears you alone have been going to the exact timelines and locations in which the murders occurred!” The screen flashes, showing each universe Rick has gone to, highlighting the ones that line up with the murders.

“What? That’s Rick-diculous. I’m obviously being set up!”

“Earth Rick C-137! The Council of Ricks sentences you to The Machine of Unspeakable Doom, which swaps your conscious and unconscious minds, rendering your fantasies pointless while everything you know becomes impossible to grasp! Also, every ten seconds it stabs your balls.”

“I’ve heard enough.” Rick elbows and simultaneously unarms the Rick behind him, freeing himself before shooting through our handcuffs. “Run!” The two of us get the message and we run behind Rick. In the corridor, the other Ricks tail behind, Rick shoots portals, sending random amalgamations at the Ricks. Morty screams as they fire at us. I yelp and we jump off a balcony into a portal. We land in buttworld, on a butt. We bounce off but before I have time to make a joke the other Ricks catch up. We run through another portal, pass the pizza dimension, pass the greasy grandma dimension, pass the phone people dimension, and then finally into the doopidoo dimension. Rick fires a ton of portals before we hop into one.

This universe was sentient chairs, and people as the chairs I guess. We walk out on the street.

“That’ll keep ‘em busy for a while.” Rick belched.

“Hey Rick, those guys weren’t right- were they? You wouldn’t kill yourself? Or selves?” I question.

“‘Course not, (Y/N)! How could that profit me? Someone out there is killing Ricks, and the council ain’t gonna stop thinking it’s me until we clear our names.By finding the real Rick killer.”

“I’m scared, Rick!” Morty said, “Maybe we should go home and stockpile weapons like that show Doomsday Preppers.”

“Not really my style, Morty. Besides, your home is most likely swarming with Ricks right now.”

. . .  

The three of us sit in a restaurant, sitting on- people. Feels weird, and I feel bad. I guess that’s what they’re for and all but still. Oh yeah and the food’s phone.

“The Ricks are probably gonna waste some time messing with Jerry. They won’t be able to help themselves. But as soon as they get bored they’ll be on to us.”

“Phones á la clams, and phonesgetti with phoneballs. Anything else?” Our chair waiter sets down our ‘phone’ food.

“Yeah, more phonesticks please.” Rick replied as he shook the basket of phone breadsticks.

“Right away, sir.”

“You know Rick, when I first saw all those Ricks, (Y/N)s, and Mortys, I thought ‘gee, that kinda devalues our bond.’ But then I realized that just means that our relationship must be pretty special to span over all those different timelines.” Morty smiled. I let out an awkward sound.

“Yeah, it’s gotta be that way. You’re a camouflage.”

“Rick!” I kicked him. He rolled his eyes at me as he fiddled with his portal gun.

“No, what- let him finish. Camouflage? Wh-wh-what are you talking about, Rick?” Morty asks.

“Ricks have a very distinct and traceable brainwave due to our genius. The best way to hide from an enemy’s radar is to stand near someone with complementary brain waves that make ours invisible. See, wh-wh-when a Rick is with a Morty, the genius waves get canceled out by the uh, Morty waves.”

“What about (Y/N)?”

“Her waves just interfere with my waves, not very useful in hindsight.”

“So um… is it because… our personalities are so different?”

“Morty… that isn’t what-” I start.

“You-you’re acting like you kne-”

“Oh, shit dog!” Rick exclaimed as he held out his portal gun. “My portal gun was hacked remotely Morty, obviously by the real killer to frame me. But I was able to trace the signal. Come on, let’s go!” 

We stand before a pair of Ricks and a Morty enter the restaurant, talking to the host. We share a look before quickly constructing human chairs to look like us before escaping out the back. We take their police vehicle and fly off.

. . .

“Hey, it’s a good thing that space outlet had lab coats and both of your guys’ favorite kinds of shirts in stock, huh Morty?” Rick repeats, breaking the tense silence.

“Yeah, Rick. I-I heard you the first time. You don’t have to keep saying it over and over and over.” Morty grumbled.

“Man, this place is wayyy off the grid. This guy does not wanna be found.”

“Well, if he’s a Rick, doesn’t he just have to stand by a Morty to hide? I mean, isn’t that what Mortys are? Human cloaking devices?”

“Morty, you’re making a bigger deal out of this than it is.”

“And you’re the one who didn’t want me to tell him, then say it’s not a big deal– hypocrite.” I murmur and Rick shoots me a dirty look.

“Hey I never told you to keep it away from him, that was all you (Y/N).”

“Was that the big secret you kept from me?! How long have you known this??” Morty questioned me, my face dropped a little as I turned away. I quickly sit up to change the topic as we pull towards a large dome.

“Oh my god, guys, look! There’s a bunch of people strapped all over that building!” I shout.

“Not people, (Y/N). Mortys.” Rick replied, partially amazed. As we got closer, I realized that they were being stabbed repeatedly, blood pooling down. I physically cringe. That’s another level of horrid.

“Oh my god… wh-why would somebody do this? It’s horrible!” Morty shouts.

“Well, one Morty’s enough to hide from the bureaucrats. But you g- you get a whole matrix of Mortys and put ‘em in agonizing pain. That creates a pattern that can hide even from other Ricks, motherfucker. I fiddled with a concept like this once.” Rick replied thoughtfully, Morty and I shared a look of horror before Rick raised his arms in a defensive position.

“On paper, on paper! I wouldn’t do this, it’s barbaric overkill. I mean, you could accomplish the same result with like five Mortys and a jumper cable.” We start to climb out of the vehicle, we glance back at his further brainstorming. “Which I also wouldn’t do! I’m just saying, it’s bad craftsmanship.”

“Still a better way to word that!” I remark.

. . .

Morty rants to Rick as we traverse the insides of the dome, roots all over the walls and the ceilings. I know Rick’s aren’t super- put together but this seems trashy.

“You don’t care about me at all! I’m no different than that jacket you’ve got on! Y-y-or-or your stupid portal gun! I’m just a tool! I-I’m just an object!”

“Hey, it’s your choice to take it personally, Morty. Now for the love of god, be quiet! The point of this is to get the drop on the guy!”

“You know what Rick, I’ll tell you something! I’m more than a human shield!”

“Yeah, that’s right! You are! You’re a perfect impenetrable suit of human armor, Morty! Because you’re as dumb as I am smart! Which is why when I say ‘shut up’ it’s really good advice.” Morty tears up at his harsh words and looks at me with a pained expression.

“Don’t look at me.” I shrug, “I told you he was an ass from day one.” A bunch of lobster-looking aliens pop up around us, surrounding us. Probably due to Morty’s yelling, but I can’t fault him for that. I felt the same way when I first found out, Rick’s dismissal of things isn’t helping either.

“Great, nice work, Morty.” Rick groaned as he started to fight the aliens before being overwhelmed, he groaned even louder in frustration.

Slow claps echo from a dark corridor as edgy-looking versions of Rick and Morty walk in, their Rick slow clapping. But there isn’t me there?

“Ooh, look at you, C-137! You’re- aren’t you a tough customer?” The other Rick greets.

“The slow clap? Really? Kinda played out, dude.” Rick crosses his arms, unimpressed.

“Not in this dimension it isn’t. In fact, hah, I invented it and nobody else has ever even done it here before.” He gloats, getting up in our faces.

“Wow, that makes it original then.” I snort. I notice that the other Morty has an eyepatch, but I cannot stop thinking about my alternate self. I knew that she had to exist at some point, what could have happened? I doubt she’d be dead, would she be?

“Well lah-dee-dah.” Rick slowly claps mockingly before the other ‘evil’ Rick slaps his hand away angrily.

“Hey, that’s mine! Whatever, just grab them.” 

Before we can protest, the lobsters move closer to us. They grip Morty and I by our shirts and Rick by his arms, carrying us down another corridor.

“I don’t like the look of that Rick. We gotta escape.” Rick whispers.

“I’m not gonna help you, Rick. Y-you’re a monster.” Morty turns away.

“Don’t be Rickdiculous, Morty.”

“W-will you stop saying that? It’s stupid.”

“God, not the time Morty! We need to get out of here.” I whisper-yell before Morty and I are set down.

“Take his twins away.”

“Come with me.” The evil Morty states as he walks off. I don’t move in protest.

“What? No! Rick?!” I try to shove past but Evil Morty quickly bodies me, gripping onto me. 

“Move.” He spoke coolly. I shrug him off and sigh as Morty garners a different reaction.

“Yeah, gladly. Geez man, Ricks huh?” Morty begins as we follow Evil Morty. “Hey man, you seem to know how this place works. Is there any way we can… shut down that grid and rescue all those Mortys outside?”

“It would be pointless. Mortys have no chance of defeating a Rick.” He deadpanned as he opened a door.”In here.”

“That’s bullshit- who told you that-? Holy shit.” I gape as I see what is behind the door, it is a crowd of shivering Mortys similar to the citadel prison but in gross conditions. They tremble in fear, all their eyes on us. I open my mouth in shock but Morty is quickly shoved inside as he approaches slowly. “Wait!” I shouted but it was too late. The Evil Morty pulled me from the door.

. . .

“Let go of me!” I shout as he drags me away from the Morty chamber. Evil Morty shouts back.

“Stop it!”

“Wow, you can speak a higher octave– never mind, what’s going to happen to Morty?”

“You saw the dome, if another Morty were to die- he’d eventually replace that one, and so on.”

“Okay, better question.” I push him off. “What’s going to happen to me? Why didn’t you just shove me in there, or kill me- or something?”

“What makes you think I’m not going to kill you?”

“Maybe at the fact I’m not dead yet.”

“...Touche.” Evil Morty nodded coldly, I felt myself getting even more nervous as the situation settled in. Brainwashed Mort over here looks like he’s about to sacrifice me and Morty is yet again trapped somewhere separated from me. The fact that he’s just staring at me during this silence isn’t making me feel any better. I would assume that he doesn’t know what his Rick wants to do to me yet and is waiting for him to be done with my Rick first. The way he looks at me is also saddening for some reason. Like he’s seeing a ghost, please god don’t make his (Y/N) dead. It’ll explain it but I’d rather that not be the case.

“Uhm, if you’re not going to kill me then… At least tell me where your (Y/N) is? I don’t sense her on my (Y/N) radar, ha-ha.” I awkwardly joke and he gives me an odd expression before it softens again.

“She’s…” Dead? “Unavailable.”

“Such a weak fucking answer, where?” I pressure. Evil Morty hesitates like he wants me to look for his counterpart. He glances back at the Morty chamber before wandering off further. I follow suit. We go deep into the dome, to the bottom floor. Another large door swooshes open. I see myself. 

Rugged and hooked up to a machine suspended against the wall is me, situated in a way similar to the Mortys outside. I don’t even know what to say. She looks at me quietly, holding this melancholy look I’ve noticed all the other timelines of me have. Her mouth is covered, and she looks weak, tired. I don’t say anything at first, just walking up to her, to me. I can see my reflection in the dimness of her eyes, I turn back to Evil Morty.

“What- why is she like that?” I choke out, not realizing how much emotion that had been instilled in me. 

“Rick.” He states. “You mess with our natural brainwaves, he sees you more as a burden than a tool. But, with her, he turned the interference into a signal boost for the other Mortys. All day every day she’s stuck here. It’s worse than the torture.”

“Why don’t you fight back, stop your Rick? At the very least turn him in– he’s a galactic criminal!” My sadness turns to anger. How could he let it get this way? If this was Morty and me, I know I would have done everything possible to stop anything like this from happening, even if it killed me- or us. 

“I already said, a Morty can’t beat a Rick. Besides, it’s a small thing necessary for the bigger picture.” 

“Small thing for the bigger picture?! You’ve gotta be shitting me! That fact stands that you didn’t even try to help (Y/N) is disgraceful! That’s not what siblings are for! Especially twins! She’s your other half so treat her like it! Part of me thinks you’re working with your Rick! How come you’ve done absolutely nothing so far?!” My face heats up as I tear into Evil Morty. His eyes widen at my outburst before alarms blare over the dome. He quickly rushes over to the room’s console and activates the cameras. I see a pool of Morty’s rushing into the holding room containing our two Ricks. They attack and tear into him, I give an exasperated laugh as I turn to Evil Morty. “Look! You dumbass! Not even an hour after showing up and my Morty has already killed your Rick. You must be smart to be your Rick’s Morty, so be Morty!” I press a random large button and (Y/N) is immediately dropped from the machine, Evil Morty goes over to her. He doesn’t say anything, he turns to me briefly.

“Don’t count on seeing me again.”

I stare at him in confusion before leaving the room, I run the same path I came from to reunite with my original Rick and Morty. Morty hugs me as I see the citadel Rick’s sweep in to start containing the scene.

“Where were you?” Morty asked.

“Oh y’know, making new friends.” I respond vaguely.

“The hell does that mean?” Rick interrupts and a citadel member walks over, I get his attention.

“What’s gonna happen to all these Mortys?”

“They’ll go back to their families, attend school regularly, play video games, date girls… poor little Rickless bastards…”.

. . .

We’re now back in front of the council of Ricks, under better circumstances. The main council Rick speaks.

“Earth Rick C-137, the Council apologizes for its false accusation. And in the way of reparations for our terrible mistake, we would like to compensate you with this voucher for a free replacement Morty, in the event that your current Morty should-” Rick cuts him off after constantly signaling him to stop talking. Morty’s original proud expression is now disdain at the reminder of his new knowledge about our roles.

“Uh, guys? Not a good time. Come on, Morty, let’s hit it.” Rick turns Morty away, still swiping the voucher. 

“Ha, see? I’m so special there isn’t even a voucher for me.” I jokingly gloat.

“Or you’re just less valuable so they don’t care about replacing you in general.” Rick retorts. Ouch, that one, that one did hurt. But it seems me being the butt of the joke brightened Morty as we left the council building.

“Is it time for arcs yet, Rick? I did a pretty great job back there for a human cloaking device. Saved your ass.”

“Oh right, you did lead that Morty revolution, that was pretty sick.” I commend.

“Alright, Morty, don’t break an arm jerking yourself off.” Rick dismissed.

“Man, I can’t believe you, Rick! That right there! Tha-that was a great opportunity to show a little humanity. You know? To connect with me a little?”

“Yeah, Rick that wasn’t really called for.” I added.

“Hey Morty, you want connection? Go be part of some stupid club like all those dumb Ricks. You know, maybe I don’t connect because I’m the Rickest Rick there is. And you know, it would go without saying that the Rickest Rick… would have the Mortyest Morty.”

“I came up with that phrase first.” I murmur but get ignored.

“It would go without saying, huh?” Morty grinned.

“Yeah, it would. Did you hear me say it?” Rick said.

“Na,” Morty whispers to himself, “The Mortyest Morty…”

“Just don’t get too big for your loafers, Buster Brown. A cocky Morty could lead to some big problems. Could be a real bad thing for everybody.”

“Oh yeah, how’s that?”

“I-I-I’ll explain when you’re older.”

“Huh, where have I heard that before?” I ask no one in particular as we portal back home. I hope that Evil (Y/N) is okay… Didn’t seem like her Morty was too concerned. But it’s whatever. Not like we’ll see them again anyway.

[shanair]

Hi :) just wanted to know if request were still available for the series if not I completely understand have a nice day/night (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃

They are! I plan on continuing this series soon so I still take requests :)

[shanair]

Looking for Requests!

Hey everyone! I’ve decided to come back to my Rick and Morty series, so if you have any episodes you’d like me to write let me know!

[shanair]

Rick and Morty X F!Reader (Platonic) | S1E2

A/N: I’m back guys! Sorry again for not updating, I got caught up in school and writers block but I’m back! Here is episode 2! I apologize if the writing might seem choppy since I started it a couple months ago and just finished it, but regardless, hope you enjoy!

-

Episode Name- Lawnmower Dog

Word Count- 6,492

Morty and I hang out in our room. We sit in comfortable silence doing our own thing. We both jerked our heads up at the sound of Dad yelling.

"Morty..." I warn. He looks at me, then to the door.

"W-what if there is actually something wrong? Like something b-broke into the house and attacked Dad?" He retorts.

"Okay fine," I sigh, putting the book I was reading down. "but if it's not anything abnormal or crazy, you owe me twenty bucks." 

"Deaaal." He groans. We quickly rush downstairs to the living room. "What's wrong?" He asks Morty. Summer lounges on the couch, an early sign that nothing important is happening. 

"Your idiot dog!" Dad exclaims.

  "Aww, it's just Snuffles." I reach over to him, petting his soft white fur.

"Oh, he didn't mean it, Dad." Morty excuses, coming over to me, petting him also. "Did you, Snuffles? You're a good boy." 

"Don't praise him now, Morty! He just peed on the carpet!" Dad separates us from Snuffles and pushes his nose into his piss spot. "Bad dog! Bad!" I go over to grab him back. Rick pulls Morty and me up by our arms. 

"Kids, come on. I need your help tonight." He starts to drag us off.

"Hey, wait, hold on a second, Rick." Dad interrupts, standing up from his armchair. "You wouldn't by any chance have some sort of crazy science thing you could whip up that might help make this dog a little smarter, would you?" 

"I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior, Jerry. If I were you, I wouldn't pull that thread. Come on, kids." Rick drags us again. Dad grabs our other arms. Summer still ignores the situation. 

"Listen, Rick, if you're gonna stay here rent-free and use my kids for your stupid science, the least you could do is put a little bit of it to use for the family. You make that dog smart, or the twins are grounded!" Dad tugs us both towards him. 

"Aww, man." Morty and I groan. Rick glares at us for a brief moment for our synchronization. But why are we being roped into this? 

"Ha-ha!" Summer calls out. Shut up Summer.

"Boy, you really got me up against a wall this time, Jerry." Rick leaves for the garage. I put my hand out for Morty as noises are heard from the garage.

"What?" He questions, rubbing the arm Rick was holding him with.

"You know what." I smirk. Morty sighs and reaches into his pocket, putting a twenty into my hand. "Good doin' business with ya." I put the bill away. Rick enters the room, a small helmet in hand. He puts it on top of Snuffles. 

"All right, Ruffles. What's his name?" Rick asks.

"Snuffles." Morty corrects.

"Snuffles, shake." Snuffles does so and lifts a paw to Rick and shakes. "Rollover." He rolls over. "Go to the bathroom." Snuffles leaves the room, and a toilet flushes: he then returns. We all marvel in amazement. Now that is cool. Let's just hope his intelligence is limited to only tricks. "Yeah, you're at the top of your game now. Jerry. Have fun. Come on, kids." Rick drags us out of the living room. We walk into the garage.

"That was fantastic, Rick!" Morty beams.

"Yeah, imagine everything else he could do now." I nod along.

"Yeah. If you like that, boy. You're-you're really going to flip your lids over this one." Rick steps to the side of his invention and shows it to us. He shows us a small plug-like device that looks like a USB, needing a magnifying glass to see up close.

"W-w-w-what is it?" Morty questions, we lean away from the object. 

"It's a device, Morty," Rick picks it up, "that when you put it in your ear, you can enter people's dreams, Morty. It's just like that movie you keep crowing about." It places the device in a case.

"You talking about 'Inception'?" He replies.

"That's right, Morty. This is gonna be a lot like that, except, you know, it's gonna may-" Rick belches, putting the case in his neverending lab coat pocket, "be make sense.”

"'Inception' made sense."

"No, it didn't." I snickered. Or I'm too dumb to understand, but Rick didn't get it either so. Didn’t seem to be that smart of a movie anyway.

"You don't have to try to impress me, Morty. Listen, tonight we're gonna go into the home of your math teacher, Mr. Goldenfold, and we're gonna incept the idea in his brain to give you A's in math, Morty. (Y-(Y/N) is fine, but it is so you can, you know, y-you two are gonna help me with my science, all the time."

"Wow, Rick, in the time it took you to make this thing couldn't you just have, you know, helped Morty with his homework?" I comment.

"Th-then what have you b-een d- are you even listening to me (Y/N)? Homework is stupid. The whole point is to get less of it." Rick opens the ship door, and we all get into our regular seats. "Come on, let's just get over there and deal with this thing. W-we're gonna incept your teacher. You're frustrating me." 

. . .

We sneak into Mr. Goldenfold's house, Rick helping Morty and me into his house through the window. Eugh, he lives in a dump. Why is the trash so sparsely scattered on the floor? The small TV continues to play until Rick shuts it off. It was a basic house, the living room was tiny and closed off from the rest of the house.

"Uh-oh! Spoilers!" Rick whispers. "I'm a full season behind."

"This place is nasty." I comment, looking over Mr. Goldenfold's sleeping body on his beanbag. There is a bowl of popcorn on his stomach. How can he fall asleep like that?

"Wow, Rick, I can't believe we're sitting around, standing around in Mr. Goldenfold's house. It's really weird." Morty exhales. It was strange. Other than the one he was sitting in there were multiple bean bag chairs across the tiny room. Part of me believes they haven’t been sat in since he got them.

"It's about to get a whole lot weirder, Morty." I hear Rick respond and a thud following it. I see Morty on the floor and Rick approaching me with the device. 

"Woahwoahwoah! Can I at least get comfortable before you put me under!? Let me sit down or something!" I protest. 

"No." 

"Aww man-" Rick grabs my arm and slots the device into my ear. I go cold for a second before waking up in an airplane. I sit in the window seat, Morty next to me, and Rick in the aisle. We all peer out to the aisle. The lady from that show Goldefold was watching iis the attendant. What was her name? Oh yeah, Mrs. Pancakes. 

"Wheat Thins. Wheat Thins." She calls as she rolled the cart down the aisle. For an airplane, it had a decently wide aisle. Mr. Goldenfold flags her down. 

"I'll take two." He leans out.

"Oh, I think you've had enough, sir."

"You don't know me." They both laugh at his reference to the show. I smile a little at the joke. Yeah, I've watched it. It’s entertaining. Anyways.

"All right, kids, time to make our move." Rick grabs full soda bottles from a random cart conveniently nearby. He straps them to his chest, here we go. He hands Morty and me a cover-up. I don't put it on. 

"I'm not going to help you pull a nine-eleven." I scowl.

"Fine, good job showing concern for your o-own brother's grades." He gets up from his seat Morty behind him. Morty had put the cloth on his head. "Allahu-" Rick belches, showing off the sodas, "akbar! We're gonna take control of this plane. We're gonna nine-eleven it unless Morty Smith gets better grades in math!" Mr. Goldenfold stands up with Mrs. Pancakes. I sit slightly higher in my seat to look. "Hey! I said nobody move, buddy!" 

"The name's not buddy. It's Goldenfold. Nice to wheat you!" Mr. Goldenfold grabs crackers nearby and uses them like ninja stars. 

"Take cover!" It punctures Rick's soda 'bombs' and pierces Morty's arm. I cringe at Morty's wound as Mr. Goldenfold pulls out two assault rifles, firing them in our direction. Rick and Morty cover in seats a few rows behind. I carefully duck under seats and regroup with them. Morty whines as Mr. Goldenfold still screams, firing the two assault rifles. "Goldenfold's got more control here than I anticipated. I mean, the guy teaches high-school math." Rick belches, " I didn't take him for an active dreamer. We've got to take him out so he wakes up, kids, but we can't get killed. If you get killed in someone else's dream, you die for real.

"What?! Are you kidding me?!" Morty and I both yell. 

"Don't be a baby!" Rick responds. "You avoid getting shot in real life all the time. Just do the same thing here, and we'll be fine."

"Reassuring." I groan. "Do you at least have a plan?"

"As a matter of fact-" Rick belches, "(Y/N). I do. We're going to take Mrs. Pancakes as a hostage and trade her."

"This is Mr. Goldenfold's dream. Can't he just teleport her back?" I question.

"The thing is, he doesn't know this is a dream yet."

"Alright, here we go." I sigh. Rick somehow gets Mrs. Pancakes on his side of the aisle. He peers in the middle.

"Goldenfold, we're coming out! We just want to talk!" Rick stays low to the ground when peeking. Mr. Goldenfold halts his assault.

"Why would I negotiate with you?" He questions.

"Because we're both rational adults that don't want anything bad to happen. And because I have a human shield." Rick stands up, with Mrs. Pancakes in a chokehold. 

"Mrs. Pancakes, AAAAAH!" Mr. Goldenfold screams, dropping the guns and cowering down. Everyone else on the plane freaks out in a similar matter.

"Oh, no, kids. His subconscious is panicking." Rick comments, still holding onto Mrs. Pancakes. I hear one passenger scream louder than the others before the emergency door bursts open. Morty and I hold onto nearby seats as people fly out of the plane. My hair gets tugged, and I hear a scream as Morty lets go. God damn it. I let go and smash into Rick at the emergency door. We all tumble out. My arms flail around as I try to gain balance in the arm, Morty screeches before Rick slaps him. I swim in the air to get closer to Rick and Morty. Huh, I guess it does kind of have a ring to it.

"Relax, Morty. Look! Mrs. Pancakes has a parachute. Come on!" Rick points to Mrs. Pancakes, and the three of us maneuver our way over to her. Morty and I grab onto Rick. He pulls Mrs. Pancakes' parachute, and we all hang onto her.

"You don't know me." Mrs. Pancake scoffs.

"Oh, no, Rick, look! Goldenfold landed the plane, and he's created a mechanical arm to pluck Mrs. Pancakes out of the air while he lets us fall into a giant vat of lava!" Morty explains. I look at the contraption Mr. Goldenfold created. He was right. There was indeed a vat of lava and a mechanical arm he was controlling.

"Pretty concise, Morty. Looks like we've merely prolonged the inevitable." Rick immediately comes up with a plan, "That's it, Morty! Prolonging the inevitable! Listen, if we go into Mrs. Pancakes' dream, everything will go 100 times slower, Morty. That'll buy us some time to figure this out!"

"Dying in Mr. Goldenfold's dream is the last I want to do!" I yell, punching Mrs. Pancake to unconsciousness. Morty gives me a flabbergasted look.

"All right, let's go." Rick ignores my sudden aggression and grabs more dream inceptors. He inserts us into the dream of Mrs. Pancakes. We land in a sort of, sex, dungeon? 

"Oh, man, Rick, this is pretty weird." Morty looks around at the multiple different alien-type creatures. Mrs. Pancakes sits on a throne, whipping some of the alien-gremlin things.

"Don't judge Morty." Rick also stares intently at the whipping Mrs. Pancakes.

"Ohh, well I'm totally judging, and I’m not liking what I’m seeing" I smile awkwardly, kind of grossed out. I mean everyone pretty much knew he was weird anyway. Seeing it though is just, yuck.

"Okay. All right. Well Look, Mrs. Pancakes is right over there. I'll just go ask her to tell Goldenfold not to kill us when she wakes up." Morty stands up and starts to walk before getting grabbed by Rick.

"Whoa, whoa, Morty. The trick to incepting is making people think they came up with the idea." Rick pulls off his lab coat and tosses it to Morty. "Listen to me. If we're gonna incept Mrs. Pancakes, we have to blend." Rick takes his blue undershirt off. He then takes his pants off. I look away as mini-sex gremlins rush to him. "I'll talk to you after lunch." Ew, he goes off with them. Another image I will later work to erase.

"What's the plan, then?" I move closer to Morty. 

"I-I don't-" Morty is interrupted by a sex monster rubbing his arm. 

"Ooh, hey!" It greets.

"Ooh, oh! Oh, man." Morty recoils from the monster. More monsters approach us. One starts touching me too. We both get very uncomfortable for obvious reasons and run away. This is soo fucking weird. Two more get a hold of Morty and me.

"Come and join us." It asks.

"Nopenopenope, sorry no!" I push it off, and Morty does the same with his. We run before stopping in front of a large frog woman.

"Ooh, wow!" She lays in a mud bath named 'The Pleasure Pit', "Come over here, you two." 

"We're fine!" I yell out, pushing Morty away. We bump into a human, about time. Whoa, she actually looks- holy shit that's-

"Summer?!" Morty screams out. She walks closer to us, wearing this pink and black lace lingerie. 

"Hey, there, strangers." Summer leans over to us, "What do you think of these things?" She shakes her tits in our faces. It's not the first time I've seen her in underwear but never in this context. I want this entire experience erased from my brain. I cover my eyes backing away. Morty has a more verbal reaction. 

"Ohh! Oh! Gross! Gross!" He cries. I hear a thud, assuming he fell over.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's the matter with you two, kids? Calm down! You're both kind of killing the vibe in here." I hear Rick's voice, along with chains? Oh god, I don't even want to know what he is wearing.

"I-it's Summer!" Morty stutters.

"Aw, geez. Looks like Goldenfold has some predilections so shameful he buries them in the dreams of the people in his dreams, including a pervy attraction to your underage sister." Rick points out. I reopen my eyes and stand next to Rick, trying not to look at his--attire. I was right. He is wearing this gimp-type chain sex thing. Morty gets from the ground and steps next to the other side of Rick. I try to look anywhere but Rick or Summer.

"Can you blame him?" Summer crawls to us. "Come on, old man, little girl and boy. Let's make an inter-generational sandwich." She traces our bodies with her hands before pulling us together. Rick pushes her away. All of us shield ourselves, overlapping each other.

"Oh, my God. Put some clothes on for the love of God-Summer! Put some-I'm gonna puke! I swear to God I'm gonna puke!" Rick’s voice is the loudest as he backs up from her.

"Oh, my God! Put some clothes on, for Pete's sake! This is disgusting! I can't take it, Rick!" Morty’s voice is screechy as he also backs up.

"Oh, Jesus Christ! Summer-don't! Just don't do that! Please just put some clothes on! That's disgusting! This really wasn’t worth what we came for!" I yell out under the other two as I fully turn around from her. We came here for a fucking grade. I probably could just cheat for him.

Everyone around us goes quiet. A large-red-headed centaur goes in front of us. We stop our whining as he towers over us.

"Sexual hang-ups in the pleasure chamber are punishable by death! Off with their heads!" He swings his large spear at us. Rick dodges it and rolls over to the centaur.

"Time to go into another dream kids!" Rick grapples his neck, choking him out.

"Don't need to tell me twice." I cringe. Rick puts the inceptors in, and Morty and I do ours.

We drop down into a new area. The room is red, with incinerators behind us. Rick is luckily in regular clothes again.

"What the hell? Why would Mr. Goldenfold's dream version of Mrs.

Pancakes' dream version of a Centaur, be dreaming about a scary place like this, Rick?" Morty queried, looking around. The centaur stands next to us, sucking his thumb.

"Geez, I don't know, Morty. Wha-what do you want from me?" Rick crosses his arms. An annoying screeching sound catches our attention. A figure appears at the end of the corridor. 

"Welcome to your nightmare, bitch!" A weird deformed-looking Freddy Kruger charges at us, screaming.

"Oh, here we go." Rick starts to run.

"Ooohhh! Holy crap!" Morty and I scream. We run in the tight corridors of the industrially looking dream. Rick runs next to us.

"Looks like some sort of legally safe knock-off of an '80s horror character with miniature swords for fingers instead of knives." Rick clarifies as we run.

"I'm scary Terry. You can run, but you can't hide, bitch!" He yells from behind us. We continue to run around, avoiding Terry as he conveniently pops out of every corner. A girl talks in the background.

"'A, B his name is Scary Terry 'C' 'D' he's very scary." The girl echos through the area.

"Holy crap!" Morty yells as Terry jumps out at us again. I pull him up as he stumbles. "We have to escape into someone else's dreams, kids." Rick starts, and we continue running as Terry pops up in areas in front of us.

"I'm not dying over a movie knock-off!" I scream. He crawls overhead us and jumps in front of us. All of us freak out and make a sharp turn. We all locate the creepy girl singing. Rick points at her as she keeps mindlessly singing. Creepy, oh shit right, we're still being chased. 

"The little girl!" He knocks her out. We all intercept her dream. We wake up-in the same fucking dream. The girl continues to sing that stupid ass song. "Are you kidding me? This again? Oh, man, it looks like we've hit dream bedrock here, kids."

"Bedrock?! You mean there isn't any way else to go?!" I scream.

"Oh, geez, Rick. W-w-whoa, this isn't good." Morty whines.

"Nothing but fear from here on out bitch!" Terry appears next to us and we continue running.

"Holy crap! He can travel through dreams. He can travel through dreams! We're so screwed!" Rick exclaims.

"You think?!" I cry out as we continue running from him. Who knew the most stress would come from this adventure out of the rest, just because Morty happens to be a dumbass. The whole stress of the chase dies down as we exit the building. The world is very similar to the nightmare on elm street but redder, very red. Rick skids over a car into the driver's seat. I beat Morty inside, making him sit in the back without a seatbelt. Seems like he is too nervous to protest.

"What are we here for again? Incepting? We're trying to incept-"

"We're trying to intercept me to get an 'A', in math?" Morty interrupts Rick, Rick murmurs an 'oh yeah' and starts the car. Morty screeches and jumps onto me in the front. The two of us scramble as he tries to straighten himself up. Terry pokes up from the back.

"Buckle up, bitch!" Terry leans against the seat. Morty and I once again scream as we all crawl out of the car. The two of us recover quickly before following Rick as we continue to run

"Why does he say bitch so much?!" I yell.

"You can run, but you can't hide, bitch!" Terry yells behind us.

"Hold on, kids. Y-you know what? He keeps saying we can run but we can't hide?" Rick starts as we take cover next to a broken-down house. "I say we try hiding."

"But that's the opposite of what-" Morty starts.

"Yeah, well, since when are we taking this guy's advice on anything?" I nod in approval of Rick's theory, it's dumb, but this is a dream.

"Hey, you know what? You got a really good point there, Rick. Like, if the truth was that we could hide, it's not like he'd be sharing that information with us, you know? I-I-I think it's a good idea, Rick." Morty ponders.

"Worst-case scenario, we're back to running." Rick shrugs.

. . .

After around six dream hours, we traced back to Scary Terry's house due to Rick's plan actually working. We camp outside Terry's house. Apparently, he has a wife and kid as well. We stay crouched in front of the dining room window and Rick nudges the both of us. I snap back to attention.

"Kids, this is perfect. After a little scary coitus, they should be fast asleep, and then we'll intecept him." Off-topic, but he does have a pretty nice-looking house. The three of us sneak inside after they uh, have some 'coitus'. I grimace at their weird-looking bodies and the marks left all over the room. Terry flinches in his sleep.

"Looks like Scary Terry's having a nightmare." Rick prepares the inceptors. 

"Oh, boy, Rick. I can only imagine what horrible things must, you know, scare Scary Terry." Morty watches Rick and we incept Terry's dream. We watch Terry from afar. We are in a school? He went to school? What would he learn? The bell rings and a younger Terry looks up. 

"Oh, no! I'm late to class, bitch!" He shoves his locker close and looks down. "Oh, no! I'm not wearing any pants!" Terry rushes to class as other scary monster girls laugh at him. We join the class he was late for and sit behind him.

"Ah, well Mr. Terry, why don't you tell the whole class the proper wordplay to use when one is chasing one's victim through a pumpkin patch?" The teacher questions, getting into Terry's face. Monster school is weird, why is wordplay important if you're isolating your victim and killing them? Terry mumbles to himself, before answering.

"Oh, uh, um-- 'bitch.'" He answers. The class laughs as the teacher gets off of Terry's desk.

"Oh, come on, Terry. You can't think of a pun involving pumpkins, bitch?" The teacher taunts.

"Hey, leave him alone!" Morty interjects, pulling the attention towards him. 

"Yeah!" I call out, standing out of my desk chair, "You're giving him shit for no reason!"

"This is a bunch of bullcrap. Who cares what stupid pun you make when you kill someone? Why don't you let the poor guy say whatever he wants?" Rick finishes, concluding our defense for Terry. 

"Well, I never-!" The teacher stutters, looking around at the kids staring at him. "I-I see no reason to stand here and take this!" He rushes out of the class. Pussy. Morty stands out of his chair and we go next to Terry.

"You're putting too much pressure on yourself, Scary Terry." Rick rests his hand on Terry's shoulder, "You know, I mean, y-you're perfectly scary enough as it is." I grab some mysteriously convenient pants nearby and nudge Morty, handing them to him. 

"Hey, yo, Scary T, don't even trip about your pants dawg. Here's a pair on us, fool." Morty hands him the pants as I side-eye as he speaks. Why is he talking like that? 

"Aww, bitch. I don't even know what to say." Terry accepts the pants and starts putting them on.

"You don't need to say anything. We got you, dawg." Morty poses as he speaks and I try to hold in laughter. 

"You're our boy, dawg. Don't even trip" Rick puts his arm around Morty and they hug Terry. Rick too? This is so dumb. The thought makes me burst out in laughter as the dream ends. Morty punches me as we wait for Terry to wake up.

"Cool it, he is our only chance of getting out of here remember?"

"Yeah, yeah," I chirp, "just give me a second." I try to calm my smile as Terry's eyes start to open, I guess my smile meshed in with Rick and Morty as he smiles back. He sits up in bed and faces us.

"Oh, hey, it's you guys!" Terry goes on to thank us for what we've done and invites us to stay for breakfast, what a change of heart.

We sat around Terry's table after he gave each of us coffee, bleh. Melissa (his wife) approaches the table as we sit near him.

"I haven't seen him this relaxed in years." She comments.

"If you guys ever need anything, just say the word," Terry adds, resting his sword-fingered hand on Rick's shoulder. 

"As a matter of fact, Terry, there is something you could help us with," Rick responds. Thank god we're finally getting out of the dream paradox hellhole, cannot wait.

. . .

We all sit on Terry's back (uncomfortably) as he goes through each dream, killing the dreamer. We finally reach the original dream and Terry turns into a missile, launching himself at Mr. Goldenfold. This day just keeps getting better I guess.

"This is because you don't give Morty Smith good grades, bitch!" He screams, ramming into him and exploding. The dream ends and we all quickly hide behind the couch, Mr. Goldenfold bursts up in shock.

"Holy crap! Goddamn! I know one thing for sure, I'm giving Morty an 'A' in math! And that's my idea, that is an original thought!" He wanders away from the couch as we all do a trio fist bump. All of this and I could have just allowed Morty to copy off of me. Entering back into the ship we start to fly home. 

"That was a day, I can't wait to lay down and go into my 'own' dream" I sigh.

"Yeah, and now I can relax with my easy A- wait, what the hell?" Morty points outside. A squad of dogs in mechanical suits brings boxes in and out of our house, two of them watching guard. Wow, let me guess. Dad probably caused this.

"Out of the frying pan, dot, dot, dot, huh kids?" Rick says plainly. He probably predicted this the second he made that dog intelligent.

"Oh man, what's going on?" Morty questions.

"I'm assuming no one paid attention to Snuffles as he slowly became self-aware," I comment.

"Always seventy-five percent correct as usual (Y/N). Your dog possibly made modifications on the cognition amplifier, then turned on Jerry, Beth, and Summer after learning about humanity's cruel subjugation of his species, but honestly, your guess is as good as mine." Rick shrugs humbly.

"Let's go save our family then." Our conversation ends as Rick silently lands somewhere nearby. We rush to sit in the bushes behind our house. "Psst, Beth, Jerry, Summer," Rick whispers as we emerge from the bush, he pulls out a device to remove their chains. Wow, the dogs tied them to an inhumanely short leash tethered to the ground in bad temperature. Wonder where I've seen that before. Summer rushes over to us.

"Oh, thank God, Morty and (Y/N)" She hugs us, very, very tightly and I'm just going to say it now that she literally pushed our faces near her boobs and now I want to die. Morty seemed to get the same impression as he awkwardly pushed her off of us. 

"Oh, you're welcome!" He grimaces as Rick comes back over.

"All right, let's get out of here. If we hurry-" Rick takes a swig of his flask, "we can set up camp in a sewer tunnel or something before the dogs completely take over."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're not going anywhere." Dad protests, "This is my house. I'm not abandoning it."

"It's all over, Jerry. The dogs are on a path to total world domination. But, hey, at least they know not to piss on your carpet, right?"

"Wait a minute. I have an idea." Dad responds. Of course, he is the only person who gets an idea from the word 'piss'. If you don't know what I'm getting at, Dad's plan is to piss on their stuff. Like a dog- well, an unintelligent dog. And which- he does, then he pulls down his fucking pants and squats. I kind of root for Snuffles here as he shoves his face into his piss. Karma I would say. But who really won in this as I also saw my Dad's bare ass.

"Ooh, great plan, Jerry." Rick groans.

"Bring those two to me." Snuffles points at Morty and me as two robo dogs pull us towards him. As he sits in a lounge chair. Please don't make us the first sacrifice, please don't make us the first- "You both were always kind to me." Oh. "That's why I will leave you, Morty, with your testicles and (Y/N), with your uterus." Ew, but yay? I have no clue what's going on. "From now on, you two will be my best friends and live by my side."

"Th-thanks, Snuffles." We both stutter before sharing a knowing glance and walking to our assigned 'doggy' beds. Morty and I each sit on one side of him. Both of his robo arms reach down and pet both of us.

"Begin phase two." He orders the guard dogs, dog guards? Whatever, the world is being dominated by dogs, I had a dream about this before and it did not end well.

. . .

So, it has been months since that happened. Morty and I both now live in this luxurious building owned by Snuffles-Snowball, as he owns the world now. Morty surrounds himself with women and I sit in silence with immense guilt. Yeah, the human race a lot of times treats dogs unfairly but not all of them, and it just feels unfair to also imprison the humans who never even interacted with dogs. Luxury is kind of nice though, if only it didn't cost at humanity's expense. But, our family is also victims in this. We need to leave, it's not fair. I rush into Morty's room, I make an audible noise of disgust as he sits up in the bed shirtless, the two girls in his bed also sitting up.

"(Y-(Y/N)? What are you doing in here?! Can't you see I'm busy here?" Morty complains, I walk over to stand in front of his bed.

"Morty, we need to leave here. We can't just sit up here as royalty while everyone else is forced into slavery! Think about our family!" I fume, and he waves me off.

"Come on, our lives are so much easier now. And we can do whatever we want. Be selfish for once, not like we can do anything about it anyway." Morty dismisses. Fido, our sort of butler dog, brings a tray of drinks. "Thank you, Fido." I turn to face the dog as it gets knocked over.

"Rick!" Morty and I exclaim, one of us more enthusiastic than the other. 

"I thought you were dead!" Morty continues.

"No, no, no, I was just playing dead." Rick drops his bat. "Good news though, kids. This whole thing's gonna be over really soon."

"Yes!" I cheer.

"What? What do you mean?" Morty stares at Rick as he explains.

"It's a dream, kids. We're in your dog's dream. The night the dogs captured us, after you cried and crapped your pants, we all went to sleep. Then I used my dream inceptors to put the three of us inside Snuffles' dream." And of course, coincidentally, an object we used earlier is now the thing we used to solve the secondary problem going on.

"But it's been like a whole year!" Morty chokes, I cringe at the women still touching him while they talk.

"It's been six hours. Dreams move one one-hundredth the speed of reality, and dog time is one-seventh human time. So you know, every day here is like a minute. It's like 'Inception', Morty, so if it's confusing and stupid, then so is everyone's favorite movie."

"Aw, man." Morty sulks, "I really liked this life."

"I didn't!" I chimed in.

"Well, at least I didn't really didn't crap my pants."

"No, no, that happened before you went to sleep, Morty." Rick starts, and the women promptly start to leave him. "You're sleeping in your crap right now, that was the only real thing that-, you know, is, that you crapped your pants. I mean it's a mess, Morty." I start to audibly laugh at Morty, holy shit Morty how does that even happen. "I got some on my hands, Morty, and then I got it on the dream inceptor, and a piece fell in my mouth." Eugh, gross, still funny, but gross.

"Aw, man, geez! Seriously?" Morty exhales.

"Yeah and some even got on your sister's leg, nasty." 

"What?!" I yell as I feel the smile drain from my face, Rick cuts me off.

"Look, d-d-d-don't worry about it, Morty." Rick sits on the bed and ignores my panicking. "Here, here, take these, Morty. Take these." Rick hands Morty a series of pills and Morty takes them. "You two (Y/N)." Rick grabs more for me to take. I hold them in my hand but don't take them. Morty fucking got shit on me.

"Are these pills supposed to wake me up, or something?" Morty asks.

"Close. It's gonna make your kidneys shut down." Oh well, sucks to be him I guess. 

"What?!" Morty shouts, and Rick holds him before turning to me, "Same with you, y-you both gotta take it." 

"Uh, no. I'm not taking some kidney failure medicine. Morty's the one who shit everywhere, so he has to pay for that." I protest.

"Fair enough, Morty, don't worry. It's necessary for the plan, don't even trip dawg."

. . .

Rick(in a robo dog disguise), Snowball, and I stand around pale unconscious Morty on a medical table. I know this is technically fake and stuff but it's still unnerving to see Morty dying like that.

"It's pretty bad, emperor Snowball. We're gonna need to do another operation." Rick diagnoses. 

"Anything," Snowball puts his robo arm on Morty, "anything for my precious Morty." An Accountant Dog enters the room.

"Sir, as your accountant, I must advise you that these medical expenses are putting you in serious financial jeopardy. You could lose your kingdom." One of the other workers walks up to Snowball.

"To hell with my kingdom Bean Counter!" Snowball pushes all of the papers out of the dog's arms, he holds Morty with his. "I would trade it all for my human's health, and happiness."

"Do you think they would have done this for us?" The dog asks.

"We are not them!" Snowball pauses, I can almost see the mental resolve as he whispers. "We are not them."

. . .

The whole family stands outside of the animal shelter, dogs walk in a line into a portal as Snowball stands in front of us. The shit thing has been resolved if you were curious. That’s all I'm gonna say.

"Taking over the human's world will lead to nothing but more heartbreak, more cruelty. Instead, we will go to a new world and colonize it with a society of intelligent dogs, one that will not make the same mistakes as humanity and one where pet insurance will be mandatory." 

"We're going to miss you, Snowball." I smile.

"You can call me Snuffles, (Y/N). And I'm going to miss both of you two, very much." He walks up to us and we embrace him, Snuffles licks both of our heads before leaving through the portal. I ignore Dad's crying as Morty and I break off to stand with Rick. 

"Wow, who knew dreams had such an impact. And to think if that never happened we would be living in that world right now." I whistle.

"Yeah, but a whole world populated by intelligent dogs. I wonder what it'll be like." Morty speculates.

"I think it will be great, Morty. You know it could be developed in-into a very satisfying project for people of all ages. I mean, I'd watch it, Morty, for at least 11 minutes a pop. You know, may-maybe they'll do it board-driven." Rick rambles.

"You know, that's a real comforting idea, Rick."

"Is it though?" I remark.

"What do you know, Morty?" Rick sighs and shakes his head, "What do you know?"

"This is great and all, but can we go home now? I'm hungry." I announce. Everyone seems to hum in agreement as we go home and eat dinner at the table. 

"So that happened." Mom starts, cutting into her food. "Anything anyone wants to say?"

"That we should never get a dog, or any type of pet in that matter, especially one with advanced intelligence." I begin.

"Well yeah, but at least I got to see Dad cry like a baby" Summer snickers.

"Hey! It was a very emotional moment, excuse you!" Dad pouts, sinking down slightly in his chair.

"That was pretty funny to see." I chuckle. 

"L-like you didn't cry your eyes out once we got inside." Morty points out. I feel my face flush as everyone turns to me.

"Pfft- Naah, I didn't-crying? Me? Never." I hastily shove more food in my mouth so I would shut up. 

"Come on Morty. We all know you were the one to cry the most, t-that's why your shower took four minutes longer than usual today." Rick keeps his focus on his food as he talks. I grin at Morty, mainly because of how Rick covered for me. 

"Huh?! Are you timing the time it takes for me to shower?" Morty rises defensively.

"I don't know, Morty. Maybe I'm not, maybe I am. No need to pass the blame around, geez." Rick gets up from the table. "I'm heading to the garage, see ya." Morty springs up from his chair.

"What?! Rick! You can't just drop a bomb like that and-" Morty's voice drowns out as he follows Rick to the garage. The rest of us at the table slightly shrug and continue eating. Just a regular day with the Smith family.

[shanair]

𝒜𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝑀𝑒!

✦ Aquarius

✦ Birthday - Feb 6th

✦ Current TV Show - Brooklyn  Nine-Nine

✦Current Games - Baldur’s Gate 3 & Fortnite

✦ Pronouns - Any

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𝑀𝓎 𝑅𝓊𝓁𝑒𝓈

- 𝐼 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓌𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒩𝒮𝐹𝒲 

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- 𝒫𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑒 𝒹𝑜 𝓇𝑒𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉𝓈 𝓈𝑒𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃

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𝑅𝒾𝒸𝓀 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝑀𝑜𝓇𝓉𝓎 𝓍 𝐹𝑒𝓂𝒶𝓁𝑒!𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇 (𝒫𝓁𝒶𝓉𝑜𝓃𝒾𝒸)

S1 E1  ►Pilot

S1 E2  ►Lawnmower Dog

S1 E5 ►Meeseeks and Destroy

S1 E? ►(Y/N) and Morty Adventure (Custom)

S1 E10 ►Close Rick-Counters of the Rick Kind

S2 E9 ►Look Who’s Purging Now

S2E10►The Wedding Squanchers

S4 E8 ►The Vat of Acid Episode

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𝒜𝓇𝓉 𝒫𝑜𝓈𝓉𝓈

►  Monica

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𝒲𝑒𝓁𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒!

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Some art

Hello! Sorry I just disappeared, I’ll continue to update the fanfic soon but I just had to take a quick internet break. Here is something I made in compensation lol.

With makeup

Without makeup

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Rick and Morty X F!Reader | S1E1

A/N: Alright! Time for me to actually start writing it in show order. Even though I'm writing in order, I'll still accept requests! Now on to the episode! ^-^

-

Episode Name- Pilot

Word Count- 6,337

The door bursts open, and my grandfather Rick stumbles over the frame. He drunkenly turns the lights on. My eyes strain with the bright light. Rick goes to my twin Morty's bed.

"Morty! You gotta, come on. You got-you gotta come with me." He turns over to a few feet away, now towering over my bed. "Y-you too."

"What's going on," I groan, "you reek." 

"I got a surprise for you two."

"It's the middle of the night. What are you talking about?" Morty yawns, making Rick go back to his bed. 

"Come on. I got a surprise." Rick drops his bottle on Morty's bed, spilling the alcohol on him. My sheets are smiling in relief right now. He grasps Morty's ankle before taking mine in the other hand, pulling each of us out of bed. 

"Ow, what the fuck man!" I reach over, trying to get his hand.

"You're tugging us too hard!" Morty whines. 

"Come on, we gotta go, gotta get out of here, come on. Got a surprise for you too." Rick rambles, pulling us down the stairs. He brings us to the garage and hurries us into a ship-car-thing. It's like an egg car that, I assume, can fly. No, more like an alien saucer, but an alien didn’t make it. Morty and Rick sat in the front while I sat in a third seat in the back. Morty and I stare at each other as Rick flies off. I sit up in my seat to be in the middle.

"What do you think of this-flying vehicle, k-kids? I built it outta stuff I found in the garage."

"Yeah, Rick. I-It's great. Is this the surprise?" Morty asks.

"Morty. I had to-I had to do it. I had-I had to-I had to make a bomb, Morty. I had to create a bomb." Rick explains, throwing up his new alcohol bottle around. I back up, some of it splashing on me. I grimace as I sit back again, trying to wipe it off. The mess distracts me from what he was saying.

"What?! A bomb?!" Morty exclaims. Wait, a bomb?

"We're gonna drop it down there and just get a whole fresh start, Morty. Create a whole, fresh start." Wait, what is he talking about? Oh, shit a bomb.

"You can't just end humanity!" I sit further up, facing Rick.

"T-t-that's absolutely crazy!" Morty shrieks.

"Come on, Morty. Just take it easy, Morty. It's gonna be good. Right now, we're gonna go pick up your little friend Jessica." I groan at the mention of her name. Jessica is the girl Morty drools over. Out of all of the girls, Jessica is the most basic and shallow one. It's kind of mean but, I'm glad she hasn’t even glanced his way. That relationship will blow up in his face. Why is he bringing her up now?

"Jessica? From my math class?" Rick leans over, wrapping his arm around Morty. He takes a swig from his bottle.

"When I drop the bomb, you know, I want you to have somebody, you know? I want you to have the thing. I'm gonna make it like a new Adam and Eve, and you're gonna be Adam." Morty whimpers under Rick uncomfortably. "And Jessica's gonna be Eve."

"Hey! What about me?! I can't just be alone then!" I protest, sitting up. If the world’s going to end I might as well benefit too.

"Y-yeah, y-you're right. Let's go pick up, touhhh, what's her name?"

"You're talking about Olivia?” I ask incredulously, I mean yeah I used to have a crush on her until I blew it completely in the 8th grade. “You can't bring her! She hates me."

"Wh-what do you mean? Never heard of enemies t-to lovers? That's going to be the fun of it."

"No, you can't!" Morty shoves Rick back to his seat. "Jessica doesn't even know I exist! But-but, but forget about that, because you can't blow up humanity!"

" I-I get what you're trying to say, Morty. Listen, I'm not-" Rick spills alcohol on his shirt. "You don't got- Y-you don’t gotta worry about me trying to fool around with Jessica or mess around with Jessica or anything. I'm not that kind of guy, Morty. O-or Olivia, hands-off. Gonna let you guys do your thing." I made an audible noise of disgust and Morty looked at me, then back to Rick.

"What are you talking about, Rick?!"

"You-you don't have to worry about me getting with Jessica or anything. Sh-sh-she-she, she, she's all for you, Morty."

"I don't care about Jessica! Y-Yyyyyyyyyyou-" Morty stutters.

"You know what, Morty? You're right." Rick throws the now empty bottle to the backseat. I catch it. Morty looks back at me in concern. I shrug and he turns back. "Let's forget the girls altogether. They, they're probably nothing but trouble, anyways." Rick presses a button on the dashboard.

"Arming neutrino bomb." The computer announces. Morty starts to unbuckle his seatbelt and begins tussling Rick.

"That's it-that's it, Rick. I'm taking the wheel." They start to talk over each other, fighting over control of the ship. "I'm taking charge of this situation, buddy!" Morty goes onto Rick, kicking him as he grabs the wheel." They continue to talk over each other.

"I'm put-I’m, I'm, I'm, I'm putting-I-I’m, I’m, I’m not gonna stand around like some sort of dumb-dumb person, and just le-let you ruin the whole world!"

"Come on! What’s gotten into you? If you love Earth so much why don’t you marry it?" I watch in amusement. The bomb is a problem, yeah. But knowing Rick, he would give a nice grace period before the explosion for our escape or something. The initial shock was big, yeah, but I want to go back to sleep though... Rick pushes Morty off. "What are you, crazy? Alright, alright, Morty. Alright. I'll-I'll land. I'll land. I'll land. I'll land the thing. I’ll land the thing. Big tough guy all of a sudden." Rick flies down aggressively, parking in a desert. He opens the door and tumbles out. Over a dozen empty booze bottles follow. Morty rests against the seat.

"Oh, thank god." He breathes. I push his legs to the side and sit in the passenger seat. I work on disabling the bomb. 

"You know what? That was all a test, Morty. Just an elaborate test to make you more assertive."

"It was?" Morty questions.

"Sure. Why not? I don't, I don't know." Rick pulls out a flask from the inside pocket of his coat. "Y-you know what, Mo-" Rick falls asleep, snoring loudly.

"Neutrino bomb armed." The robot announces.

"Uhhh (Y/N)?" Morty calls out, his voice laced with concern.

"I'm working on it!" I respond back, “Talking isn’t going to make me work any- oh shit” I feel myself stressing as the bomb winds up before deactivating. I exhale and sit back, looking at Morty. He sits up and looks at me, then at the unconscious Rick on the ground.

"D-do you know how to fly this thing?" Morty swats the bottles out of the ship.

"I mean, I can try?" 

. . .

Morty and I flinch at the sound of the alarm ringing. We look to the side at each other.

"You look like shit." I groan. 

"You," he yawns, "too." Morty and I sluggishly follow our routine before meeting the family at the table for breakfast. Morty and I sit next to each other, facing Summer and Rick.

"I see there's a new episode of that singing show tonight. Who do you guys think is gonna be the best singer?" Dad talks about his stupid singing show. I take a couple of bites of my food before laying my head down on the table.

"(Y/N)! Get your head off of the-" Mom gets cut off with Morty's head slamming into his plate of food. 

"Oh my God, their heads are in their food. I'm going to puke." Summer, my older sister monotones.

"Wh- are you two getting sick?" Mom asks. I moan in response. Morty lifts his head. He wipes some of the food off, not processing Mom's words. "Did something happen?"

"Nothing happened, Mom. We just didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Our dreams could just be too loud."

"Or maybe you were out all night again with Grandpa Rick." Summer snitches. I weakly turn my head to her and open my mouth to protest and decide against it. I put my face back in my food, the warmness of it was pretty comforting.

"What?!" Dad hollers.

"Dad?" I hear Mom's question.

"What, so everyone's supposed to sleep every single night now? You realize that nighttime makes up half of all time?" Rick defends.

"Damn it!" Dad cusses, slamming the table. I flinch up, sitting upright.

"Jerry!" Mom scolds.

"Beth!" He replies.

"Oh my god, my parents are so loud, I want to die." Summer mumbles. 

"Mm, there is no God, Summer. You gotta rip that band-aid off now. You'll thank me later." Rick nudges her.

"Okay, with all due respect, Rick," Dad glares at him, "what am I talking about? What respect is due? How are my kids supposed to pass their classes if you keep dragging them off for high-concept Sci-Fi rigamarole?"

"Well, Dad, I am actually doing pretty go-" I meekly added.

"Sweetheart, not right now." Okay then.

"Listen, Jerry. I-I-I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything. It's your house. It's your world. You're a real Julius Caesar but, I'll tell you something-tell you how I feel about school, Jerry. It's a waste of time." Dad continues to glare at Rick skeptically while he talks. "Buncha people running around, bumping into each other. G-guy up front says, 'Two plus two.' The people in the back say, 'Four.' Then the-then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or something. I mean, it's not a place for smart people, Jerry. And I know that's not a popular opinion, but it's my two cents on the issue.'" Rick wipes his mouth off, getting up. I rested my head on the table instead of my food this time. He goes behind Mom and places a hand on her shoulder. "This was a good breakfast, Beth. You really made the crap out of those eggs. I wish your mother was here to eat them." He kisses her cheek and leaves. I cringe at the obvious manipulation tactic. 

"Oh, Dad..." Mom tears up over Rick's words.

"What? For real?" Dad lifts his arms up, quickly dropping them. I look at Morty nodding off and move his plate out of the way, so he slams into the table this time instead.

"Mom," I yawn, "we need a ride to school."

. . .

It was now our last period of the day. Morty continues to stare at Jessica. The class follows along as normal, calling out the answers. Morty calls out, using Jessica's name instead of the answer. She turns back in confusion, wondering who called her. The word 'quiz' stops me from staring at Morty staring at Jessica. The class groans in response.

"Yeah, you know what?! Aw, too bad! Tough! First row, take one. Pass it back to me. The stakes are high in this room." Mr. Goldenfold hands the quiz to the front-row students. I grab mine and start to quickly do it. I may be sleep-deprived, but the stuff on there is easy. I turn to Morty, who slowly falls asleep, staring at the quiz. Twenty minutes go by and class ends. I watch Mr. Goldenfold go over to Morty. Morty sleepily reaches out, starting to fondle his chest. I pull out my phone and take a picture, capturing the moment.

"Morty! What're you doing to me?!"

"Ah, Jessica." Morty moans.

"Morty!"

"Jessica."

"Five more minutes of this, and I'm gonna get mad." He leans back, biting his lip. Alright, now it's gross. I sit up. 

"Morty!" I tap the back of his head, and he shoots his eyes open. He pulls back his hands. Mr. Goldenfold also looks at me, surprised that I was there. I glare back at him.

"You two get out of here!" He shoos us out. Morty sulks leaving the classroom, still embarrassed. We head to our lockers, grabbing the remaining books. Morty gets approached by Frank. 

"Well, well, well." Frank snarls.

"Uh, morning, Frank." Morty greets him, Frank pins him against the lockers with a knife. Mumbling at him. We’re different in size but I’m able to pull him from behind, bringing him off Morty. Frank pushes me off to the ground and turns to face me. A beam shoots by, freezing Frank. What the fuck?! Rick walks into view. Ah, I see. Morty pulls me off the ground. 

"There you two are. Listen to me. I got an errand to run in a whole different dimension. I need two extra pairs of hands." Rick puts his freeze-ray in his coat pocket.

"Oh, geez, Rick. W-w-what'd you do to Frank?"

"C'mon Morty, that was obvious. He's frozen.”

“But Rick, we shouldn't miss so much school. Is it really that important?" I stare at Frank's frozen body.

"It's important.” He mimics. “Do you have any concept of how much higher the stakes get out there? What do you think? I can just do it all by myself? Come on!"

"You probably can..?" I trail off before Morty interjects. 

"W-what about Frank? Shouldn't you unfreeze him?" Morty asks. 

"I'll do it later, Morty. He'll be fine. Let's go." Rick leads us to an alley nearby the school. He shoots open a portal.

"There she is. All right, come on. Let's go."

"Oh geez, okay." Morty comments. We go through the portal.

"Where are we exactly?" I stretch, looking around the brightly-colored planet with weird-like plants.

"It's Dimension 35-C, and it's got the perfect climate conditions for a special type of tree, (Y/N), called a Mega Tree, and there's fruit in those trees, and there's seeds in those fruits. I'm talking about Mega Seeds. They're-they're incredibly powerful, and I need them to help me with my research, (Y/N)."

"Oh, man, Rick. I'm looking around this place, and I'm starting to work up some anxiety about this whole thing." Morty fidgets with his arm, looking around.

"All right, all right, calm down. Listen to me, Morty. I know that new situations can be intimidating. You're looking around, and it's all scary and different, but, you know, m-meeting them head-on, charging right into them like a bull, that's how we grow as people. I'm no stranger to scary situations. I deal with them all the time. Now, if you just stick with me, Morty, we're gonna be-'' Rick looks over behind us. "Holy crap! Run!" Morty and I run behind Rick. The adrenaline is quick to wake me up. I decided against my better judgment to not look behind me. "I have never seen that thing before in my life. I don't even know what the hell it is! We got to get out of here! It's gonna kill us! We're gonna die! We're gonna die, Morty!" Morty and I freak out, even more, thanks to Rick. We rush out, jumping through dense shrubbery before escaping the creature. Morty and I take a break while Rick walks ahead. 

"Oh, take a deep breath. Breathe that-breathe that fresh air in. Y-you, smell that? That's the smell of adventure. That's-that's the smell of-of-of-of a whole different evolutionary timeline." I lay on the ground, my heart slowing as I look at the new world.

"All right, Rick. Look, how much longer is this gonna be? Shouldn't we be back at school by now?" Morty speaks up.

"Are you joking me? I mean, look at all the crazy crap surrounding us. Look at that thing right there." Rick points to this creepy-looking creature, like a squid with amputated limbs. I crane my neck up to see. That creature was upset from the stubs so it also stole another creature's limbs to make up for it. What the hell is that thing? You think you're gonna see that kind of thing at school?" I catch up with them to look at the creature closer. "Look at it just lumbering around. It defies all logic, that thing." The creature stands up? Or sits up, and lumbers away. We continue to walk forward.

"Yeah, Rick, I get it. We're surrounded by monsters. That's kind of the reason why I want to leave." Morty stares at Rick.

"It's kind of cool though." I stare at the bright orange sky. A hand stops me from walking.

"Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. (Y/N), you see this? You see what we just stumbled upon, (Y/N)? Any idea what that is down there?"

"My assumption is the mega trees?"

"You assume right. The mega trees with the mega fruit on them and that's what I'm talking about, (Y/N). That's where my seeds are. If we would have done what you wanted, I would have never found them, because your brother is so in love with school."

"All right, all right. So, what's so special about these seeds, anyway?" Morty stands up next to Rick. 

"You ask a lot of questions, Morty. Not very charismatic. It makes you kind of an-" Rick burps, "under-underfoot figure." He tosses us some shoes and we put them on. "Just take these shoes. They're-" Rick burps, "special grappling shoes. When you're wearing these things, these babies, you can basically just walk on any surface you want. Up, down, below, turn around to the left. These things really bring it all together." I lean over, looking for the power button, and proceed to activate it. 

"Wow Rick, these are pretty cool-" I look up to see Morty walking off the cliff, plummeting to the ground. I rush to the edge, hearing thumps and screams before I see him. "Holy shit, Morty!"

"You have to turn them on, Morty! The shoes have to be turned on! You see? I turned them on!" Rick walks down the side of the cliff. I hesitantly follow and exhale in relief when I don't also plummet to the ground. "See? (Y/N) turned them on!" Rick and I reach the bottom of the cliff. I rush over to Morty, crouching next to him.

"Are you okay?! Can you feel them?" I look over his legs, Rick waltzes next to me. His legs were all smashed and mangled around him.

"Morty, oh, you really d-did a number on your legs right now. You know, you had to turn them on."

"I'm in a lot of pain, Rick!" Morty cries. He holds my hand for support and squeezes it.

"Yeah, I can see that. But do you think you'll still be able to help me collect my seeds, Morty? (Y/N) and I could d-do it but it’d be faster if you’d h-help." Rick leans over him. Is he really not concerned about any of this?!

"Are you kidding me?!" Morty wails." That's it, Rick! That's the last straw! I can't believe this! I'm sitting here with both of my legs broken, and you're still asking me about getting those seeds?! Ooh! Ow! Oh!" Morty props himself up with his arm and my help. "Y-you're like Hitler, but-but even Hitler cared about Germany or something!" I look at Morty, and my concerned face contorts with confusion because of his analogy. 

"Okay, hold on just a second, Morty." Rick takes out his portal gun and shoots a portal open, walking through. Morty moans in more pain, squeezing my hand. I wince at how hard he squeezes. Rick shortly returns, holding a syringe gun. He stabs Morty's leg. They morbidly snap back to normal. Morty sits up in relief, the stress and pain from his face diminishing. 

"Oh, oh, wow. Rick. That stuff just healed my broken legs instantly." I help Morty up. "I mean, I've never felt so good in my life. Thank you."

"Don't worry about it, Morty." Rick waves him off, walking towards the nearby tree. "Just come help me get these seeds, all right, buddy? You grab one too (Y/N)."

"Sure thing, Rick." Morty and I walk to a nearby tree, climbing up it. Rick talks in the background as we both go and grab a mega fruit.

"Not that either of you asked, but what just happened there is I went into a future dimension with such advanced medicine that they had broken-leg serum at every corner drugstore. The stuff was all over the place."

"Wow, that's crazy Rick." Morty comments, picking off a mega fruit, I also grab one. Morty drops his down to Rick. I hold mine as we climb down 

"There's just one problem. One little hang-up. The dimension I visited was so advanced that," Rick burps, splitting the fruit Morty tossed to him, "they had also halted the aging process, and everyone there was young, and they had been forever."

"Wait, how does that work? Wouldn't they be overpopulated and-" I start, how would that even function? Is there a limit on how long you could possibly live? I would know until Rick talks over me. He also grabs the fruit I had in my hand, then splits it apart too.

"Shshshsh, (Y/N). I was the only old person there, (Y/N)." Rick burps. "It was like I was some sort of, you know, celebrity, walking around. I-I was fascinating to them. There were a lot of attractive women there, (Y/N). And they-they-they-they all wanted time with me. I had a lot of fun with a lot of young ladies, but I spent too much time there. My interdimensional portal device it's got no charge left, (Y/N). It's got no charge left." Rick slams the fruit he was messing with on the ground, pushing his head back and running hands through his hair. "It's as good as garbage. It's not gonna work anymore."

"What?!" Morty and I both exclaim. I continue talking as Rick spaces out.

"How can that be?! What are we going to do?!" Dying in a foreign dimension is not what I want or ever thought could even happen. We could die from starvation, dehydration, lack of proper livable climate, don’t even mention the countless murderous creatures- 

"Geez, Rick. W-we need to get back to school now! How are we gonna get back home?" Morty’s words cut into my mind as I focus back on the conversation again.

"C-calm down you two," Rick snaps back, "there's a way to get back home. It's just gonna be a bit of a hassle." He grabs the four seeds from the fruit off the ground and hands a pair to each of us. "We're gonna have to go through interdimensional customs, so you're gonna have to do me a real solid."

"Rick..." I groan. Whenever he asks us to do something, it's always not good.

"When we get to customs. I'm gonna need you to take these seeds into the bathroom, and I'm gonna need you to put them way up inside your buttholes."

"In our butts?" Morty questions.

"Put them way up inside there, as far as they can fit."

"I'm not doing that." I scoff.

"I really don't want to do that Rick." Morty looks at the seeds.

"Well, somebody's got to do it. Th-these seeds aren't gonna get through customs unless they're in someone's rectum." Rick points to his butt. "They'll fall right out of mine. I've done this too many times. I mean, you're both young. Got your whole lives ahead of you, your anal cavity's still taut, yet malleable. You got to do it for grandpa, kids. Y-" Rick burps, "You've got to put these seeds inside your butts." I scrunch my face in disgust.

"In my butt?" Morty repeats. Rick squats down to our level, putting his hands on our shoulders and pushing us together. 

"Come on, please." Rick begs, "You have to do it." I pull away from Rick, looking at Morty. Rick shrugs, placing his free hand on Morty as I put my seeds in Morty's arms.

"Oh man." Morty looks at me, then back at Rick, mentally conceding.

. . .

I cringe as Morty hobbles back over to us. A traumatized look on his face as he focuses forward. I would feel bad, but I don't love him enough to shove two seeds up my ass,

"I don't like it here kids. I can't abide bureaucracy." Rick crosses one arm, the back of his other hand under his chin. We walk forward in the line. "I don't like being told where to go and what to do. I consider it a violation. Did you get those seeds all the way up your butt, Morty?"

"Yeah Rick," Morty strains, "let's just get this over with, okay? I mean, these things are pointy. They hurt."

"That means they're good ones." Rick dismisses, and we walk forward again slightly. He puts a hand on Morty's shoulder. "You're a good kid, Morty. Better than your sister, you really stepped up to the plate today. Those mega seeds are super valuable to my work. You've been a huge help to me. I'm gonna be able to do," Rick burps, "all kinds of things with them. It's gonna be great, Morty." He leads him along as the line moves. Glad I'm not the favorite grandkid. "All kinds of science."

"Okay, next through." The alien security bug points. "Except you. You go over there." He points at Morty, then to a different area.

"Why does he have to go over there?" Rick protests. 

"Random check. He's got to go through the new machine."

"What new," Rick burps, "what new machine?"

"It's a new machine. It detects stuff all the waay up your butt." Rick pushes the guard out of the way.

"Run, kids! Run!" He yells, we run behind him as alarms blare. Rick knocks things over and slows down the approaching bugs. We run through a sort of alien bong with which Morty inhales the smoke. He coughs it up, and a green creature appears and goes through its life cycle before dying. He screams in slight horror as we keep running. "Don't think about it!" Rick starts pulling Morty along before a door is closed in front of us. We turn around to be cornered by guards. I reactivated the shoes and run up the wall. Morty and Rick follow me.

"Ooh! Oh, nice, (Y/N)! The student becomes the teacher." The alien bugs fly up, we freak out again and continue to run away. I get in front of Morty as we run across a tube. Rick jumps on a cargo ship, I grab his leg, and Morty grabs mine. Morty and I scream as we swing on it. Rick loses his grip as it flies over and we land on this pink blop, probably killing it. That poor guy. We continue to run, reaching this big portal but blue. Rick goes to the computer. 

"I need to type in the coordinates to our homeworld, Morty. Cover me." Rick tosses Morty the laser rifle they had.

"What about me?!" I yell. 

"Oh, man. I mean, you know, I-I don't want to shoot nobody." Morty whines.

"Fine! Give it to (Y/N)!" Rick commands, I take the rifle from Morty. "They're just robots! It's okay to shoot them! They're robots."

"Yeah okay!" I hesitantly aim and shoot at one of the aliens. He screams in agony.

"My leg is shot off!" Another alien crouches down next to him and they hold hands? Limbs. The gun slightly lowers in my hands. 

"Glenn's bleeding to death! Someone call his wife and children!" Oh my god, he had a wife and kids. He was just doing his job because we were the ones who caused problems. 

"Th-they're not robots, Rick!" I call out. I feel regret as the guy continues to wail out in pain for his family.

"It's a figure of speech, (Y/N). They're bureaucrats. I don't respect them. Just keep shooting, (Y/N). You have no idea what prison is like here!" I hand the gun back to Morty, shaking my head. He fumbles with the gun and looks back from our cover, shooting back at the aliens before covering again. I turn when Morty turns to watch what's happening. He kills more of them, including innocent bystanders. I go back behind the wall, not wanting to see more. 

"Holy crap! This is insane!" Morty yells over the chaos. Rick gets the portal open and I rush through, Rick dragging Morty.

"We got to get the hell out of here!" Rick yells. The portal leads us to our school's cafeteria. I skid and end up sitting next to Jessica facing her. Morty and Rick come in behind me, Morty landing his stomach on the lunch table and Rick bouncing off of him and hitting the floor. 

"Wow. Did you just come into the cafeteria through a portal?" Jessica marvels, I scoot away from her.

"Uh, yeah. Well, you know, my-my Ferrari's in the shop." Morty nervously laughs. "Just kidding."

"You're Morty, right?" She asks with her head on her hands I audibly groan, standing up from the table.

"Yeah." Morty smiles, and Rick pulls him off the table.

"You can get his number later. Come on, Morty. We got to get out of here. You got to get those seeds out of your ass." I follow behind the two. Our parents block the way with Principal Vagina. Never getting used to that name. And oh, they don't look the happiest.

"Oh, look, honey. It's our twins with Albery Ein-douche." Dad insults? It was a weak attempt.

"What?" Mom questions, she glances over at him.

"I'm an angry father, not an improviser." 

"Oh, hi, Jerry. Oh, my goodness, kids!" Rick releases Morty. "What are you doing out of class? We talked about this. Your-your parents and I are very disappointed in-in this behavior..." Rick looks between the three adults, realizing no one believed him. "No? No takers?" The smartest man in the universe, everyone. God damn it. 

. . .

We stand around in the garage as Mom and Dad pack everything away to move Rick out.

"You guys should really not be touching that stuff. It's beyond your reasoning." Rick argues hopelessly.

"You're beyond our reasoning!" Dad replies, still needs to work on his returns. 

"Takes one to know one." Rick remarks.

"Dad, how could you make my kids miss an entire semester of school? I mean, it's not like they're hot girls. They can't just bail on their lives and set up shop in someone else's." Mom rants. 

"What? Mom! Are you calling me ugly or something?!" I cross my arms, offended.

"No-no sorry, sweetie. I mean that mostly for your brother." 

"Mostly?!" I snap. Dad lifts a box of Rick's stuff. Mom gives me an apologetic look as I stare at her, still shocked at her comment against me.

"What-what are you guys doing with my stuff?" Rick interrupts.

"We're moving you to a nursing home." Mom clarifies. I glare at her.

"A nursing home? What are-what are you, nuts? I'm a genius. I build robots for fun."

"Well, now you can build baskets and watch Paul Newman movies on VHS and mentally scar the boy scouts every Christmas." Dad adds.

"What does that mean?" Mom looks strangely at Dad.

"It's personal." Dad needs therapy, noted. Morty goes in front of Rick and me to our parents.

"Dad, Mom, come on. Rick just needed our help is all." He tries to reason.

"Morty, stay out of this. You are obviously not capable of judging these situations on your own." Dad leans over to Morty.

"What are you trying to say about Morty? That he's stupid or something?" Rick crosses his arms.

"Oh, don't high-road us, Dad. You know fully well that Morty is the last child that needs to be missing classes." Mom replies.

"I-I-I don't know what you mean by that. Can-can-can you be a little bit more specific?" Rick pushes.

"Oh, for crying out- he's got some kind of disability or something. Is that what you want us to say?" Dad motions at Morty. 

"I do?" Morty meekly asks.

"Well, duh doy, sun. Look, I love you, Morty," Dad puts a hand on Morty's back, "but we both know you're not as fast as the other kids, and if you want to compete in this world, you got to work twice as hard."

"Wow, you two are just putting all of this on two kids at once. Calling Morty an idiot and me ugly. Really honing in on your problem-solving skills right now." Mom looks hurt by my words, her mouth opens and Rick starts to talk before she could. 

"Morty, t-tell your parents the square root of pi." 

"Oh, come on, Rick. You know I can't." Morty scratches the back of his head.

"The square root of Pi, Morty. Go!" 

"1.77245385... Whoa." He gasps, impressed by himself.

"What the hell?" Mom breathes out. Dad pulls out his phone, fact-checking Morty. 

"Holy crap. He's right." Dad confirms. I stare at Morty in shock.

"Morty, tell your parents the first law of thermodynamics." Rick questions.

"'The increment in the internal energy of a system is equal to the increment of heat supplied to the system.' Wow! I'm so smart!" Morty beams. I didn't even know that one.

"But-" Dad starts.

"I told both of you school is stupid. It's not how you learn things. Morty's a gifted child." Rick crouches down next to Morty and me, holding our shoulders. "He has a special mind, same with (Y/N). That's why they're my little helpers. They're both like me. They're gonna be doing great science stuff later in their lives. They're too smart for school. They need to keep hanging out and helping me."

"Jerry, I don't want whatever's happening here to stop." Mom turns to Dad.

"No, I-I understand. Uh, maybe we overreacted. But they have to keep going to school." Dad negotiates.

"Okay, Jerry. You drive a hard bargain, but what am I supposed to do? Say no? You-you really wear the pants around here. I just want you to know, between us, from now on, it's gonna be clear communication." Rick confesses. Summer bursts into the garage, sobbing.

"Frank Palicky was frozen to death today!"

"No idea what you're talking about." Rick states. I sigh, Summer runs out the door, still crying. I know he’s dead and all, but hey, no more bullying.

"Okay. Well, uh, twins, it's your bedtime in an hour. Don't stay up all night again. This is good though. This can work. I think we can be a family and now, Beth, if you'll have me, I would love to have you." Dad holds Mom's hand and leads her to the door.

"You know what? Okay." Mom smiles, walking away with Dad as she pulls the door shut. Cute seeing them get along, but ew.

"Holy cow, Rick." Morty and say as we turn to him.

"Don't do that." Rick warns. He hates whenever we speak together. He said if we’d keep doing that we were going to become like evil twins or something from The Shining. Absolute bullshit, Morty kind of fell for it.

"I didn't know hanging out with you was making me smarter." Morty continues.

"Full disclosure, Morty it's not. Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect of the mega seeds dissolving in your rectal cavity." Rick states. 

"Aw, man." Morty mopes.

"Yeah, and once those seeds wear off, you're gonna lose most of your motor skills, and you're also gonna lose a significant amount of brain functionality for 72 hours, Morty." Rick pulls up his sleeve, to real three watches. "Starting right about now."

"Ohhh man." Morty starts to drool from his mouth, whining as he falls over. "Oh geez, ohh" He collapses on the floor. I rushed over to him.

"Morty?" The concern comes out with my words. He starts spazzing out. 

"I'm sorry, Morty. It's a bummer. In reality,-" Rick starts.

"Aren't you going to at least try and help him?" I question frantically, hovering my hands above Morty so I don't touch him. 

"you're as dumb as they come and," Rick talks over me and goes on. "I needed those seeds real bad, and I had to give them up just to get your parents off my back, so now we're gonna have to go get more." Rick leans over to us. I better not be the second choice for those seeds. "And then we're gonna go on even more adventures after that, kids and you're gonna keep your mouth shut about it, kids, because the world is full of idiots that don't understand what's important, and they'll tear us apart, kids, but if you stick with me, I'm gonna accomplish great things, kids, and you're both gonna be part of them, and together, we're gonna round around, kids. We're gonna do all kinds of wonderful things, kids. The outside world is our enemy, kids. We're the only friends we've got, kids. It's just Rick and Morty, (Y/N) too I guess."

"Wow, thanks-" Morty keeps spazzing around, howling in pain as he does.

"Rick and Morty, and (Y/N), and their adventures, kids. Rick, Morty, and (Y/N) forever and forever. (Y/N) things. Morty's things. Me and Rick and Morty and (Y/N) running around, and Rick and Morty and (Y/N) time. All day long, forever. All a hundred days. Rick and Morty forever one hundred times. (Y/N) and Rick. Morty and (Y/N). RickMortyand(Y/N)adventures.com. All one hundred years. Every minute, RickMortyand(Y/N).com." The garage door randomly starts to close. I zone out of Rick's rambling. This is going to be one hell of a year.

[shanair]

Rick and Morty X F!Reader | S2E10

A/N: The wedding episode as requested! It’s shorter than usual but I couldn’t find much ways to fill in more stuff so I hope you enjoy! This one took too long to write for its size lol.

-

Episode Name- The Wedding Squanchers

Word Count- 4,916

The whole family sits at the dining room table, each eating cereal. The silence was filled with Dad talking.

“The trick to cereal is keeping seventy percent of it above the milk.” Dad hunches over the bowl. Mom crosses her arms, not amused. 

“Jerry, get a job.” Dad looks sadly down back at his bowl of cereal. I smile slightly. She’s not wrong. A loud knock comes from the front door. We all look up at the door.

“Uh, w-why don’t you get it, Jerry? You’re the man of the house, and you don’t have a job.” Rick comments. Dad looks at him and sighs, getting up. Everyone else continues eating. I watch him open the door. A fleshy brain-looking creature enters with mechanical parts attached.

“Delivery for Rick, (Y/N), Morty, Summer, Beth, and Jerry.” The creatures speak, having an automated mechanical voice. Summer recoils, dropping her spoon into her bowl.

“Gross. What is that thing?” She questions. Oh, it’s like a courier thing but intergalactic. 

“It’s a courier flap. It’s like the intergalactic versions of UPS but less off-putting.” Rick explains, reaching into it and pulling a metal egg thing. “OH-SHIIITTT! It looks like an egg-vite from Birdperson! It must be time for his annual Oscar party. By the way, our TV signals take light years to reach his planet. Nobody tells him that Braveheart wins.” He cracks the egg open like a regular egg, a miniature hologram emerges, and music plays. Videos of Birdperson and ugh– Tammy play with them commentating. Rick has a similar reaction, his happy expression fading as he watches it.

“Greetings, this is Birdperson." 

"And Tammy!” Rick groans and covers up the egg hologram with a napkin. It continues but gets muffled under the napkin.

“Inviting you to Planet Squanch for our mate-melding ceremony.”

“If you’re from Earth, that means we’re getting married!” Rick brings the plate to the trashcan and drops it inside, the hologram still playing quietly.

“Oh, my god! My friend Tammy’s marrying Birdperson!” Summer exclaims.

“How big is their age difference? She’s like eighteen, nineteen? And he’s in his forties? If she was a couple of years younger funny how that’ll be pedophilia.” I eat another mouthful of cereal. 

“Don’t hate on true love (Y/N).” Summer scolds me and I half-shrug. Yeah, I remember Tammy. She was weird, but I never imagined her hooking up with Birdperson. He deserves better. Tammy seems like the girl to marry old, screw them over, and take all of their shit.

“What the hell is a ‘birdperson’?” Dad questions.  Rick returns to his spot and keeps eating.

“Rick’s best friend.” I clarify. 

“Uh, l-let’s not get carried away, (Y/N).” Rick doesn’t look up from his bowl.

“Would you like to RSVP or send a gift?” The courier flap blinks light as it speaks.

“No. Weddings are basically funerals with cake. If I wanted to watch someone throw their life away,” Rick burps, “I’d hang out with Jerry all day.”

“Affirmative! Returning to sender.” Courier flap begins to leave before Mom intervenes.

“No, hold on, stay, courier flaps.”

“Staying.” It responds, halting its movement and turning back.

“Dad,” Mom starts, “you have a friend that’s getting married. That’s a big deal.”

“It’s a big deal he has a friend.” Dad interjects, here we go.

“What do you know about friendship, Jerrry?” Rick snaps.

“Confirmed, shipping Jerry.” The courier flap opens up, before pulling Dad into its courier-flap- ahh, I see where the name came from. The way it picked him up was gross. It went above him and sucked up from the bottom with its slime. I hear Dad panic and scream inside of the courier as it zooms outside.

“Oh, God! Jerry!” Mom calls out.

“Dad! Dad!” Summer calls, she, along with Mom, rushes to the door and watches Dad fly off. It’s a courier, not like he would be in a lot of danger. Morty rushes downstairs after hearing the commotion.

“What? What happened?” He looks around. He moves to the door behind Summer and Mom.

“Dad was taken by an uh– courier.” I reply.

“What?!” Morty exclaims, he turns to me then to look out the door.

“Where is it taking him?” Mom asks, still looking out the door.

“I guess Planet Squanch? It was return to sender.” I pitch, picking at my cereal. 

“Yeah, six thousand lightyears across the galaxy.” Rick adds.

“He’ll be fine, Morty. I think” I try to reassure.

“Wh- Our dad just got sucked up into that- thing. Th-that’s insane!" 

"Courier flap.” I correct.

“How come you’re so calm?? Dad was just lifted off to space!” Morty argues.

“What? We know where it’s going, and if it’s a courier service, it must be safe to a degree.” Rick hums in annoyance, realizing what I’m leading up to.

“Now we have to go to the wedding.” He groans.

. . .

The five of us sit in pleasant silence (other than Rick) as some music plays through the radio. Rick lands on the Squanch planet. We all dressed up fancy for the wedding (once again, other than Rick). Morty in a classic black suit, Mom in a long wavy blue dress, Summer in a shorter frilly pastel purple dress, and I in a darker purple dress suit. I was waiting forever to wear this. I usually wear dresses, but considering this is a wedding on another planet, I’d rather wear something easier to move in than a dress. Squanchy greets us as we leave the ship. Mom smoothes the suit in her hand she brought for Dad.

“Rick Sanchez, you psycho bag of Squanch.” He greets.

“Hey, what’s up, Squanchy?” Rick greets, unscrewing and drinking from his flask.

“Heya Squanchy.” Morty, Summer, and I greet. Morty and I wave. Squanchy walks to Mom. 

“Twins! Summer! And you must be Beth.” Squanchy takes her hand, kissing it. “Au squanché.”

“Your language has 'squanch’ in it a lot. Doesn’t that become tedious and worn out like the Smurf thing?” She questions.

“Beth, Squanchy culture is more… contextual than literal. You just say what’s in your squanch and people understand.” Rick explains, I know where this is going. Mom is going to try and say a word and either say something offensive or nasty.

“Oh, okay… I squanch my family.” Rick, Squanchy, and I cringe. “What? I do. I squanch my family.” I shake my head.

“Just stop saying it, gross.” Squanchy grimaces. “Come on in guys, the guests are having cock-squanches.” He leads us ahead while Mom stays behind. I watch all of the people congregating around at the venue, entertainment coming from the stage. Summer squeals when she sees Tammy, rushing to her. Now I have to listen to those two be all cliche and loud.

“Oh, you made it!” Tammy cries, grasping Summer’s hands.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Summer speaks, equally as excited, and grabs her hand. Rick and Morty start to head to Birdperson. I follow behind. The two are still in my earshot. “Oh, my god. I love your ring.”

“Thanks. It was Birdperson’s grandmother. She fought a squirrel for it.”

“Hey, Birdperson!” I call out, he comes to us. 

“(Y/N), I am pleased you and your family could witness my melding with Tammy.” I could never get used to his monotone voice. I feel like it could change since this is his big day and all. Maybe his tone changed slightly, but I don’t know him enough to realize.

“Our pleasure.” Mom smiles, holding one of the drinks in her hand.

“Yeah, I hope you got a pre-meld.” Rick deadpans.

“Rick!” Morty scolds, nudging him. 

“What?! It’s just a practical way of making sure that when she’s done with you,” Rick raises his arms in front of Morty for him to push them down,“ you can get one of your balls back.” Glad to know I’m not the only one not totally on board with Tammy and Birdperson.

“Jesus, Dad.” Mom furrows her brows at him. Rick takes a sip from his drink, the same type as Mom’s.

“He’s just grumpy from the flight.” Morty excuses.

“Ohh, I-I was happy on the flight.” Rick replies, stirring the drink by its straw and then tossing the straw. “I’m grumpy from the landing.” Rick walks away, Morty and I following. I tug Morty away.

“We need to do something about him!” I hiss. “He’s killing the mood.”

“Yeah,” Morty nods, “like th-this is Birdperson’s moment to shine, and he’s brushing it off!”

“See? You get it! Now, go talk to Rick.”

“What?!”

“You’ve got a general idea now go-” I push Morty forward in the direction of Rick. He looks back. I motion for him to walk, giving him a thumbs up. He slowly approaches Rick after flipping me off.

“You know, you’re not being very supportive of Birdperson on his big day.” He states.

“Birdperson’s big day, Morty, was at Blood Ridge on Glapflap’s third moon against the gromflamites!” Rick snaps at Morty,  turning in his chair to look at him. “This? This is a losing battle.”

“Geez, Rick, it’s not like he’s dying.” Morty hops on the stool next to Rick. “He’s getting married! I mean, what do you think’s gonna happen if you open yourself up a little bit? I mean, look around.” Morty motions around, getting off the stool. “This is your family and friends all around you, you know? Take the day off. There’s nothing to run from, nothing to fight.” Rick does look around. I watch him focus on each family member including me. I turn to the side, pretending to not notice him. 

“Good one, Morty. Excuse me, bartender. Can you make me a dumb grandson pep talk and an annoying granddaughter eavesdrop? It’s one part lame advice about stuff you know nothing about, a strange presence that just irritates you, and a lot of vodka.”

“Mmhmm. I have a lot of vodka.” The bartender monster nods. Don’t gotta be an asshole about it. I cross my arms and walk closer.

“Then I’ll take one of those.” Rick turns back to Morty. “I don’t need the rest.”

“God, whatever, Rick.” Morty walks back over to me. “This is why you should be the one talking.” I put my arm over his shoulder, leading him away.

“You did well. Rick is just-Rick. I bet the ceremony is starting soon, so why don’t we take a seat?”

“You owe me, you know?” He groans but returns the gesture, and we walk to some seats. The planet was beautiful. I wish we visited more often. Soon the ceremony started with everyone sitting around. The priest Squanchy walked to the arch, with Tammy and Birdperson facing each other. The rest of our family sits nearby. The regular wedding speel starts and I end up just zoning out. Rick scoots past us, sitting down. I focus back on the wedding.

“In the name of the squanch, the six rivers, the four squanches, and the nine balls, I unite these two organisms in eternal squanch! Tammy, you may squanch your vows now.”

“Birdperson…” Tammy inhales sharply, grasping her vows. “You are my seed, my worm, my earliness, and my lack of cats. I promise to be yours until your death." 

"Nice.” Squanchy looks to Birdperson as the crowd awws. “Birdperson.”

“Tammy,” he starts, “I was approaching infertility when I met you, but there is still time. I am yours until my death.” The crowd awws again. Rick moans, which sounds like a diluted aww. Squanchy pulls out a weave flag thing and waves it between the couple.

“I now pronounce you squanch and birdperson!” Squanchy well, pronounces. Everyone cheers, including me as they kiss. What? I like weddings. Time to partyyyy!

. . . 

Rick stands up at our table, clinking his glass with a knife. Tammy and Birdperson sit up higher than everyone else in a makeshift tree nest.

“Uh hi, everybody. I’m-” Rick burps, “Rick. You know, when I first met Birdperson, he was uh-” Rick crumples and throws his paper away, picking up his glass and trailing away from the table. “Listen, I’m not the nicest guy in the universe because I’m the smartest. And being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets. Now, I haven’t been exactly subtle about how little I trust marriage. I couldn’t make it work, and I could turn a black hole into a sun, so at a certain point, you got to ask yourself what are the odds this is legit and not just some big lie we’re all telling ourselves because we’re afraid to die alone? Because, you know, that’s exactly how we all die… alone." 

Wow, that was deep. Maybe Morty did reach him after all. He’s opening up. The family groans. I mean yeah, not the most ideal speech for a wedding but- oh wait he isn’t done. 

"But-but. Here’s the thing. Birdperson is my best friend, and if he loves Tammy, well, then I love Tammy, too.” Everyone cheers and claps. Aw Rick said that he’s his best friend. Squanchy seems upset and throws a bracelet on his table. “To friendship, to love, and to my greatest adventure yet… opening myself up to others.”

“Cheers to that, motherfuckers!” Morty and I cheer, clinking our glasses together. Tammy stands up.

“Gosh, I look around this room, and I think, 'uh Tammy, you’re a high-school senior from the planet Earth, and you’re marrying a 40-year-old birdperson? Like, whaaat?!” The room laughs. 

“Yeah, Tammy!” Summer calls out.

“But then I think, you know, in a lot of ways, I’m not a high-school senior from the planet Earth. In a lot of ways, what I really am is a deep-cover agent for the galactic federation, and you guys are a group of wanted criminals, and this entire building is, in a certain sense, surrounded.” What, my jaw drops. The whole room has the same reaction. 

“Oh shit.” Rick murmurs.

“I… Don’t get the metaphor.” Mom whispers to Dad. 

“I’ll explain it to you later.” Dad whispers back.

“Everyone here is under arrest for crimes against the federation.” Tammy pulls a gun up, aiming at the crowd then Birdperson, then the crowd.

“Tammy, what are you doing?” Birdperson stands up. Tammy focuses the gun on Birdperson. What a bitch. 

“Sit your bird ass down.”

“Tammy?” She unloads bullets into Birdperson. He sadly squawks and falls out of the nest. We all watch in horror as he bleeds on the ground.

“Birdperson! NOOO!” Rick cries out. Everyone else starts shooting back, scattering around. More agents break through the glass and enter via the roof. Tammy aims at Rick as he hides behind a plant. Morty drags me out of the chair as we run out of the crossfire. Rick kicks a table over and we all hide behind it. He pulls out a portal gun for Tammy to shove a gun barrel in his face.

“Drop the portal gun.” Rick slowly sets it down. “Slide it to the center of the room.” He takes a second, pressing the gun, and slides it to the middle of the room. “Somebody confiscate that and don’t damage it. They’ll want it at the-” She is cut off by an explosion emitting, we all huddle behind the table as it flashes the exposed parts of the room. Rick rushes away and starts to kill some of the alien bugs. 

“This will be fine guys, you know-” my voice wavers, “this happens way more often than you think.” No one shows me a look of hope and I don’t blame them. Rick rushes back over.

“Come on, this way!” Rick leads us as we all follow behind. I see a large Squanchy all fighting off the aliens. He clears a path to a ship and we all scramble inside. Tammy’s 'parents’ (who are actually robots) rush us. Dad holds up a confetti gun. 

“Good thing I grabbed a space weapon.” He fires it and of course, confetti comes out. 

“That’s a confetti gun, you fucking idiot!” Rick yells. 

“Dad!” Mom screeches.

“Hold on tight!” The robots jump into the back of the ship. Rick shakes the ship, making Tammy’s dad slip on a worm. I kick it out as her mom grabs my neck and pushes me against the wall. Mom grabs a knife and stabs its eyes out, then drags and kicks it out. I mumble a 'thanks’ as we set off. Two ships follow behind, Rick cusses and releases worms. It hits one ship and causes it to crash into the other one.

 We get away from the planet. Mom and Summer get two cans that were spilled earlier and sit on them, Morty sits on the floor, and I sit next to Rick in the front. Dad rests his hand on my chair. I glance back at Morty, who has been quiet. I subtly asked him if he was okay and he hesitantly nodded.

“What the hell happened back there?!” Dad spat.

“This is on you guys. I told you weddings are stupid.” Rick states, staring out the window, clutching the steering wheel. Poor Birdperson.

. . .

A while has passed, and now Dad occupies Summer’s previous spot.

“Uh, Rick,” Dad questions, “is there anything you’d like to tell us about your relationship with this previously unknown galactic government?”

“All the important points seem pretty clear, no? They think they control the galaxy, I disagree. Don’t hate the player, hate the game, son.” Rick leans back to look at Dad, then turns back.

“How could you be so dishonest with this family?”

“Oh! Oh, should I have been more open and trusting like, oh, I don’t know, my now-dead best friend? Or your daughter, who is BFFs with an intergalactic narc?”

“Hey, Tammy was cool!” Summer excuses.

“Yeah, and now we know why.” Rick snaps at Summer.

“Because of you!”

“Out of all the basic people to be besties with.” I groan.

“Fuck you, Summer, and fuck the government, and fuck me for letting my guard down, which I will never do again.”

“Geez Rick,” Morty speaks up, “you can’t say f- 'f you’ to your granddaughter. ”

“I just did, Morty. Here’s dessert. Fuck you. Hey, maybe get a family deal on it too, fuck you (Y/N).” I glare at him. And I didn’t even say anything. It was an insult by proxy.

“Look, I think we’ve all had a tough wedding. Actually, the wedding was beautiful. The reception got out of hand. Anyway, I say we go home, sleep it off, and have a family meeting in the morning.” Mom offered.

“Yeah, about going home- we can’t… Ever." 

"What?!” We all cry out.

“Oh, these guys are looking for us now. Earth will be swarming with them.”

“Us?!” Dad exclaims.

“Jerry…” Mom warns.

“I want to go home!”

“Look,” Rick springs from his chair to face everyone else after pressing some buttons and I do the same, “anyone that wants to go back to earth is free to go back to earth. But here’s what’s gonna happen. Alien bureaucrats are gonna arrest you. They’re gonna put the intergalactic equivalent of-” Rick burps, “jumper cables under your nuts and-or labia and hook them up to an alien car battery until you tell them where I am… Which I guarantee you, you’re not gonna know, which I guarantee they won’t believe. So who’s homesick? By applause?” Summer starts to sob. “Ladies? Anybody?”

“What are we going to do? Summer cries. "Where are we going to live?

"Take it easy, This is a blessing in disguise. Fucking Earth. You realize our planet’s name means dirt, right? We’ll find a new world.” Rick spins around and takes out a device. “Computer, how many planets in the Milky Way are at least ninety percent similar to Earth?” The computer beeps before responding.

“765 known planets." 

"How many of these are outside federal jurisdiction?” It beeps again. 

“Three.”

“See? Our cup runneth over. Now, who wants to go shopping for a brand-new motherfucking world?!” I do an unenthusiastic woo. “All right!”

. . .

We approach the first planet.

“Look at this baby! Would you even know that wasn’t Earth?” Rick points at the planet.

“Yes, because there’s no Africa.” I point out.

“Pssh. White-people problems, (Y/N). Let’s go down and check her out.” Rick flies forward and the ship bounces on the edge. “Oh. I thought it was further away. I uh-guess this one’s a little small. All right, uh, maybe…maybe we should go check out the other two, huh?” Rick leaves the planet and goes flying to the next one. “Okay, this one’s bigger.” He flies in, the surface being more orange than the earth. We get out of the ship. Morty and Summer rush ahead.

“This looks nice.” Mom notes, linking arms with Dad. 

“Mom, Dad, look! Strawberries on a cob!” Summer grabs one and starts eating it.

“Whoa! Hey, check this out!” Morty pulls another cob. “Flowers on a cob!” He laughs.

“Huh.” Dad exhales. “Strawberries and flowers on a cob, huh? That’s pretty cool.” I point to the horizon.

“Are those, mountains on a cob?” We look at the birds cawing and they are connected to a cob… Rick grabs something off the ground and examines it.

“Oh, my god.” Rick grabs our attention. “Get in the ship, sweetie.”

“What?” Mom questions.

“Get in the goddamn ship! Everything's on a cob! The whole planet’s on a cob! Go, go, go!” We all rush inside and Rick frantically takes off.  He flies to the final planet.

Rick burps, “All right, third time’s the charm. See what we got here.” We land on a bleak planet.

“Seems good.” Mom hops out of the ship.

“And nothing on the cob.” Dad adds, helping Mom out of the ship. “Didn’t think that was a necessity, but-”

“No, it’s nice. I think this might be it” Rick motions to the planet. Morty stands next to Mom with her hand on his shoulder.

“Wow! Hey, look you guys. The sun is rising.” Morty stares at the rising sun, it screams as it rises. The area immediately becomes bright. The sun continues screaming even after it rests in the sky. 

“Uh, Dad, how long are the days on this planet?” Mom asks.

“Uh, computer, how long are the days on this planet?” Rick forwards the question, the sun still screaming. 

“Forty-two hours.

"All right, well those two are the choices 'cause cob planet is off the table. Now let’s take a vote.”

. . .

We sit on a wooden bench inside a cabin at the mini-planet, watching the intergalactic news. I’m so tired, everyone else is too. Rick is in the other room.

“Well, it’s official. The obscure planet known as Earth, formerly the hiding place of interstellar terrorist and fugitive Rick Sanchez, has just become the 6,048th planet to join the galactic federation.” The male caster speaks.

“The plucky little ball of water and dirt, which is where it gets its name, is dominated by seven billion primate-descended natives who love to eat spaghetti and pray to kangaroos.” The female one speaks. “Spaghetti, kangaroos? I’ve got to check this place out.” Both of the newscasters laugh.

“Well, you can. Contact the Ministry of Tourism for details. Up next, teenagers are calling it.” He starts gargling and screeching. Summer cuts the TV off. 

“What are you- what did you do that for?” Morty asks.

“Dramatic effect.” Summer affirmed. Rick on cue, bursts the door open with a flag in his hand.

“Goood morning, family.” Rick greets. “Oh, do I smell bacon?”

“Yes, we discovered a species of tiny pig off the coast of New Australia about 30 yards east.” Mom explains.

“Or 300 yards west.” Morty adds.

“We’d offer you some, but we hunted it to extinction for breakfast.” Summer finishes.

“Well, I thought I’d walk to the South Pole and do a little bit of exploring. If you guys need me, just yell or throw something so hard that it goes around the world and hits me.” Rick leaves the tiny shack. He’s too eager. People must cope in their own ways.

“Okay, now that he’s gone, can we please talk about our situation?” Dad starts.

“Dad, you can’t talk about people behind their back.” Morty inserts.

“Please, he’s in the South pole!” Dad stands up. “And we need to have a serious conversation.”

“About what? What would we even do other than being here?” I protest.

“I’m just saying, we keep acting like there’s only two options, but there’s not. So, yes, if we went back to Earth, as long as Rick was out there, they’d want to interrogate us. But, and this is purely hypothetical… What if we turned him into the government?”

“Jerry, so help me God,” Mom stands to face him, “if you ever  bring this up again, no more bacon.”

“There already is no more bacon! This world sucks! Our life sucks! Why are we doing this for someone who would never do anything for anyone but himself?”

“That’s not the point Dad!” Morty argues.

“Yeah! We love Rick. For the most part…” I slightly mumble for the last part.

“Yeah, you don’t love people in hopes of a reward, Dad, you love them unconditionally.” Morty adds.

“That’s very good, kids. I’m proud of you.” Mom nods at us.

“Okay, so let me get this straight. For the rest of your lives, no matter how much it hurts you, no matter how much it destroys our children’s futures, we’re gonna do whatever Rick wants, whenever he wants?” Dad argues against a losing battle.

“Yes.” We all answer.

“Why?!” I mean I kind of see where he is going with this, putting kids above everyone else and all, but Rick is the cause and at the same time, the end to our problems.

“Because I don’t want him to leave again, you dumb asshole!” Mom cries, holding her arms.

“They could also still torture us for information if we turned him in anyway.” I shrug, everyone turns to me. Morty gives me a look to read the room better. 

. . .

Morty and I play catch across the world. He took off the suit’s jacket at this point but I still wore mine. He throws the frisbee, and I turn around and catch it. Rick walks over to us. 

“Hey. Uh- I was gonna hop over to the Gloppydrop system, get some ice cream.”

“You want us to come with?” Morty questions.

“Yeah, don’t you need our brainwaves for camouflage or something?” I remark.

“I’ll be okay.” Rick starts to walk away. No insult or reaction to me, that’s suspicious. “Bye kids.” Morty and I share a look before Morty speaks up.

“Rick. You’re not leaving, right?”

“Yeah, I am. To get ice cream.”

“So, you’re coming back?”

“Morty, if you go to where there’s a bunch of ice cream and then you don’t come back, you haven’t actually gotten ice cream, you’ve just gone where ice cream is.”

“Rick, look. We can handle it if you go, but you’ll break Mom’s heart.” I motion to Morty. “We won’t forgive you for that.

"Where’s the van, (Y/N)?”

“Over the horizon in the driveway.” I sigh. Once Rick gets in and flies off I hug Morty. I tighten my grip.

. . .

All of us sit around outside.

“He’s not coming back, is he?” Mom asks, her voice sad. 

“No.” Morty solemnly replies. Alien ships fly towards the planet.

“Hey, look, cops.” Dad points at the obvious. They get out and one waves at us. 

“Good morning.” The aliens usher us into a ship, flying us back to Earth. We sit through customs, and many creatures also enter the planet. 

“How long will you be visiting Earth?” The receptionist questions, sitting at a high-tech computer.

“Oh, we live here. We were just off-planet for a wedding.” Dad specified. 

“Go that way.” It points to a different terminal and we walk through. It grabs us and tests our DNA before pushing us out. All of us blankly walk through the streets, looking at the new civilization. A tiny robot approaches Dad. 

“I have processed that you are in distress and have been proscribed antidepressants. Compliments of the galactic federation.” It expels a cup of pills which Dad takes, downing them immediately. 

“I feel better.” He muses.

“Your debt is 7,000 fed credits. Report to the ministry of employment and you will be assigned a function.” The robot wheels away, and Dad lifts Mom into the air.

“Honey! I got a job!” 

We make it home after some time, avoiding any more galactic interactions. Dad was cheery all the way, blabbing about his fucking job. God damn it! Why did Rick have to go? A new government like the federation will now suck I’m assuming. Its name has federation in the title, first red flag right there. Our new rulers are aliens that have never inhabited Earth before this. Finally, they changed literally everything. We went through a lot of shit and Rick just seemed so drained when leaving. We were supposed to see a wedding, and now, now- fuck! I look around and see my other family members other than my ignorant Dad also defeated which makes me angrier. We shouldn’t concede. We should fight! Especially now that Rick’s gone and left us in this shitty situation. Earth isn’t a planet that just lays down and die. I’m not going to back down. 

[shanair]

Rick and Morty X F!Reader | Custom S1E8.5

A/N: Here is my final pre-written which is a custom episode! The reason I made this was because I wanted (Y/N) to be more self-aware and exposed than Morty. Despite being twins she usually takes the responsibility of trying to carry both of their burdens. She now knows about her role in the universe and Rick seems to know that she knows, which adds more stress on to her. Rick is naturally suspicious of her for this but he still relates and connects to her easier than Morty. 

-

Episode Name- (Y/N) and Morty Adventure

Word Count- 4,376

"Morty!" I swing open our bedroom door. Morty jumps, falling onto the ground. 

"W-what the hell is-is your problem?!" He cries out. I aggressively pull him to his feet. I step back, hands on my hips.

"We're going on a (Y/N) and Morty adventure!" I announce. He stares back at me.

"H-huh? Do you mean j-just us? What about Rick? How do you expect us to go anywhere if he has the car?"

"What if we don't need the car?" I smile smugly. Morty continues to stare, his eyes widening in realization.

"You got the gun?!" He exclaims. I shush him. 

"I got the gun." I pull out the portal gun, it glows its usual ominous green. He watches in awe.

"But how did you-?" 

"Remember our last adventure? He left the gun in the car, and the next thing you know he is drunk. You may think, ‘(Y/N), but he is almost always drunk, and even when he is drunk he isn’t dumb enough to forget about it!’ and I would say that you were right. But , he simply left it inside the ship when we got out into the endless pile of trash. To help he was completely blacked out. I believe it made him think that he left it on the ship when he was sober. The only thing I had to do was grab it when he blacked out.”

“Wouldn’t he know that you took it?” Morty asks, he seems open to the plan but hesitant. 

“I’ve had it since then, so I think we’re in the clear for now. To make it even better, he is having a personal day today. I suspect we have until dinner to go wherever we want and do whatever we want." I finished explaining my plan. Smart, I know. Personally, I think my little heist was impressive. 

"W-wow, (Y/N). You must have been planning t-this for a while." Morty exhales. 

"Exactly, and I know the exact place we're going to go." I set the knob to an alternate dimension. I walk over to my bed, leaning down as I pull out two weapons. I toss Morty a blaster I grabbed from the garage, taking out my own. I fire the portal gun. It makes a wooshing sound as the green wiggly portal appears at our feet. We step into the green portal. 

My eyes adjust as I look around the barren replica of our own dimension. It was around midday, perfect for a little adventure. And this time it’s going to go well. No traumatizing events for either of us, just some mindless fun. Literally.

"So, where are we?" Morty questions, looking around. We teleported on top of our school roof. The dystopian-type atmosphere was quiet.

"Well, I've seen you taking an interest in The Walking Dead. I talked to Rick, annnd apparently, there is a universe where another Rick started a viral strain similar to it. Making zombies and whatnot."

"I-I thought you didn't like the show? You said it was pointless and t-too repetitive. Did you really spend this opportunity to make me happy or something?" Morty gives me a goofy grin. I roll my eyes.

"Nope, I just like watching the action from the show. Killing zombies is badass so I wanna do that too." Morty disregards my comment, still grinning. "Come on, let's kill some zombies!" I shout. I rush to the rooftop door, pulling it open.

"Wait," Morty pauses, "what if we get bit?"

"Uh, don't? And if so, we can just cut it off or something and regenerate the limb." 

"O-oh jeez." Morty comments nervously. We open the door. We make our way down the stairs as we go into the main school area. We go to clear each classroom of zombies. Convenient how each room had something to kill. We swiftly finish each one of them off. Ever since we started going on adventures with Rick, the both of us had been getting pretty strong. The results are obviously paying off now. We made our way to the school entrance, I stopped Morty. A series of groans and snarls are heard on the other side of the large school doors.

"I think there's a herd outside." Morty decides to open the door anyway. We are greeted with a swarm of zombies.

"What the fuck Morty?!" I slam it shut. More grunts and moans come from the door as I hold it still. How can he be all 'Oh no what if it goes wrong' to blindly and knowingly jumping into dangerous situations?

"Now, this is more like it!" He yells. I look at him for an explanation. "You're going to open that door, and we're going to fend them off!"

"You're fucking crazy man." I hesitate, looking at his face. He had a sudden rush of bloodlust, too sudden. I jump from the door to him. They pile in quickly. We take out a couple before being overrun. My gun jams as I unholster it. I cuss under my breath, taking a moldy piece of wood to bash their heads in. Morty seems to get tired, reacting to the neverending herd slower. Gunfire ripples at a distance, we share a glance. Backing up, using nearby objects to slow down the approaching zombies. Soon the zombies slow, the ones in the back being shot and killed by unidentified bullets. Who else would be alive here? And my questions are answered when I see my mom and sister walk through the door.

"(Y/N), Morty?" 'Mom' asks, lowering her gun. She stands next to Summer. I look for Dad. He's either dead or hiding, probably dead.

"Stay cool." I whisper to Morty. Stepping in front of him.

"Hey, Mom, Summer." I greet them. 

"What happened to you two? We thought you died. Where's Rick?" She hugs us. I push her off. 

"Uh, around." I share a knowing glance at Morty. We're twins, so he had to get my message. She seems bothered, soon giving a sign to 'Summer' who lifts her gun. I fire another portal and Morty jumps through. Summer shoots my shoulder. 

"I was going to say sorry because of Dad but fuck you then!" I yell, dodging another shot and jumping through myself as it closes behind us. Morty stands with his back to me. I touch my bleeding shoulder, wincing as I do. I rise to a full stand.

"What's wrong?" I look up at him, then past him. Rick, and no, not just one Rick, multiple Ricks. We're on the citadel I’m pretty sure. Neither of us had been but Rick had definitely bitched about the other versions of him multiple times for me to deduce why there were so many Ricks in one place. How did the portal lead us here? I would have thought Rick made it unhackable or traceable. But these are the people sharing the same minds. The sound of cuffs being put on pulled me out of my thoughts.

"(Y/N) and Morty of Rick C-137. You're under temporary arrest for tampering recklessly in another dimension and illegal interdimensional travel." The Ricks sat up high in their podiums. Well, shit.

"You're going to be in separate holding." One of the Rick's commanded. Wait, no separate? "At least until your designated Rick comes to pick you up. If your Rick-"

"Hold up, hold up," I start, "separate? What if you mix us up with the wrong person? Why can't we be together?" The main Rick frowns in displeasure before answering my question.

"We have a high-tech identification system that has never failed, and if it does, we don't care, probably y-your fault anyway. A (Y/N) and Morty are not permitted to stay together not accompanied by a Rick when off-world."

"So you're saying the only reason we're here is that we did something without a Rick?" I talk back.

"(Y/N)!" Morty whispers.

"No, it's not fair that we're looked down on just because we are not fossils with blue hair." I retort.

"Argh, just get them out of my sight." One of the Rick waves, and Morty and I get dragged out of the room. The Rick guard led us to a holding facility, one down to criminals and the other misplaced. We go down the misplaced one. Soon a checking-in system comes in, sitting us in front of machines. We take our mugshots before being separated, the plaques containing our dimension number. I curiously try to read my dimension name but fail to do so. I was brought to a door with an icon looking like my face on it. The door opens, revealing hundreds of other (Y/N)s from different dimensions. The guard Rick stabs my shoulder with a syringe. Relief spreads my muscles as the gunshot wound heals immediately. My cuffs are unlocked as I'm pushed inside. A nerdy-looking (Y/N) runs up to me. She has those big-rimmed glasses and I’m kind of getting that nerd vibe.

"You're new here. Dimension number?" She asks, pushing up her cliche glasses. 

"Uhh, I don’t know. C-137?" I deadpan, looking around the room. I wasn’t completely sure about my number but I think Rick mentioned his being that. I spot a guard spot not too far from the entrance. I guess the Morty zone is the same. Nerd (Y/N)-- nicknaming her Nerdy, leads me away from the door. "So uh, how long is the wait usually?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" she tilts her head at the question, "Some of us here never leave. Of course, Mortys are usually renamed and shipped out to be replacement Mortys after a month. Sometimes a Rick comes in and requests for one of us if we're lucky." Oh boy, but those are probably people with neglectful Ricks. We should be fine. Rick will get us, eventually. Probably. Definitely. But how many of these (Y/N)s said the same thing to themselves? Nope. Not going down that spiral right now. 

"Well, why are we even separated from our Morty's? Seems stupid." I stretch my healed shoulder, I look back at her.

"Are you not aware of the havoc a (Y/N) and Morty together can cause?" 

"Other than being a pain in Rick's ass, no. That's the reason why I am here in the first place."

"Even though Mortys are with a Rick due to his inferior brainwaves, our brainwaves collide with a Rick's, which creates a sort of interference. But if we were alone, our individual brainwaves stand out. A Morty helps but doesn't mask it as much as it does to a Rick. The reason why we are separate is due to a (Y/N)'s influence on a Morty." I urge her to continue. I never knew we had technical significance. I just thought Rick was lonely doing stuff by himself and just happened to have two grandchildren that were impressionable."Morty's are usually obedient and sensitive. They bend to a Rick's will. Ricks make them overly insecure, ruining the chance of disloyalty. It takes a smart, and cocky Morty to overpower a Rick. The thing is, in most cases a Morty going rogue is because of a (Y/N) pushing Morty to his final straw. Separating us lowers the chances of fighting back. This room is also more secure than theirs."

"We're only pawns to Rick? He doesn't really care about us. That's why there are so many of us here." I think out loud. 

"Unfortunately, yeah. I'm sorry you had to come here." Nerdy shrugs empathetically.

“So, how did you end up here?” I gesture to the crowded room. Nerdy looks away sadly, she hesitates before speaking.

“Well, another Rick and Morty attacked my own. I think they killed my Rick, my Morty and I tried to fight them off but we were separated. He might be in the Morty hold, but I don’t know. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him. I miss them.” Her story does sound sad but one thing interests me the most.

"W-wait, you said you and your Morty fought another. Can a (Y/N) overpower a Rick?"

"No. A (Y/N) may be smarter and more capable but predictable. A Rick would always win. Many of us already tried to escape. Only one (Y/N) was able to achieve it, legend A-17. Got left here just like the rest of us, fought her way out, and escaped to an unknown place in the universe. No one has ever seen her again."

"Wow, I didn't know there was a full history of us. Why don't we break out too?"

"D-did you not hear a word I said? (Y/N) can't beat a Rick."

"Only a special one right? I'm a special (Y/N)."

"Yeah, okay. How would you know that?"

"Because I have a special Rick. Thank you for the information, but I have to find a way to get the fuck out of this dump of weird versions of myself. No offense." I push past the nerd me, shoving more versions of myself. There were a lot of cliche versions of me, goth, punk, with nerd back there. Oh, wait, no, there is me as a hammer. I wonder what led to that. I find the back wall, I trace it around the whole room. There is nothing attached to this room other than the entrance. It's a prison with no ounce of human rights. This isn't Earth but still. I circle through more (Y/N)'s to reach the front again. I knock on the guard's window. A tiny speaker peeps through.

"What do you," Rick belches, "want."

"I have to piss."

"Uhh yeah, so?"

"Take me to a bathroom."

"Not going to happen, sweetcheeks, get moving."

"So you're just going to let me piss myself?"

"Yeeap." I open my mouth to respond, the guard shuts the speaker. Asshole. We have to be transported to do something at some point. Like, eat or something. I look for an entrance to the Rick room from in here. Nope, maybe Nerdy will know something. I take a box, stand on top of it, and look around. I see the familiar-rimmed glasses and rush over.

"(Y/N)." I call, and eighteen nearby people turn to me. I point at Nerdy. "Her I mean, sorry."

"What's up?" She pushes her black glasses up.

"Do we ever leave? Like to pee or eat?"

"There's an enclosed bathroom connected to here near the exit, but they only open it a couple of times a day. Food and stuff get dropped from a large tube." She points to the ceiling, there is a closed chute at the top.

"And how do we throw all of the trash away?"

"A trash compactor, which is also opened after mealtimes." She then points to a closed-off section in the corner of the mega room, near the entrance.

"Mm okay, so how long is that from now?"

"It's hard to tell without having natural lighting, or a clock... But maybe an hour or two?" She explains.

"Do you know what's in the trash compactor? Like where does all of the trash go?"

"Well, looking at how Rick's might not care about pollution and how it's a constant movement of trash- I'd say it gets sent through an air-powered tube, either connecting to a trash plant or straight into space. Well, maybe even a laser contraption to zap the trash into bits and dust."

"Okay, thanks." I disappear back into the sea of (Y/N)s. Yeah, I feel bad for just using her for information and not even attempting to make conversation. But at the same time... Whatever, I just need to get out of here. Maybe I can get through that feeding tube or the trash if I'm desperate. I wonder how Morty is handling things.

-

Hours pass by. The feeding tube comes and goes. I discovered that the tube was embedded into the wall, not reachable. Soon the trash compactor opens up in the wall, and we all rush in to throw our stuff away. I linger near the compactor, each (Y/N) throwing stuff away before heading to the bathroom. Nerdy is one of the final people. She notices me standing near the compactor and walks over.

"Nononono, you're not going to do what I think you are?" She questions, mentioning the compactor door. 

"I'm going to do it. You can come if you want. It's only freedom."

"You don't even know what's down there? Or if you can get out."

"You already gave your theory and I believe in it." Nerdy groans, before urging me to continue. Once the coast was clear, I get ready to jump into the hatch. I hear a shout behind me.

“Hey! Get away from there!” I whip my head around, a Rick is approaching me with a gun.

“Why?!” I shout back, slowly inching my way closer to it. The Rick seems to get angry fast, he sighs audibly and lowers his gun, and motions to it.

“Y’know what? Fine! Jump into it. Do it.” I stare at him, confused. “What’re you waiting for?” I glance at Nerdy and she is on alert as well. She shrugs. I look back at Rick before jumping in. 

I fall into a large section of shit and trash. Ew. I look around for an exit in the piles of trash. A red glow grabs my attention, Nerdy falls a couple of feet from me. I crawl my way to the service exit. The room rumbles, and the entire room starts to glow. I look around, noticing a row of holes on the wall across the entire room. They’re lasers. A giant conveyor belt activates. The ground shifts as Nerdy jumps off of the pile to stand next to me. She seems to make the same deduction. We start to sprint, dodging the large pieces of debris. I glance at where the belt ends, the lasers are now activated—yeah, not going there. I struggle at the top, grabbing pieces of trash and creating a makeshift grappling device. My legs burn as I jump on a pile of trash, using the hook to hoist myself above the moving items. I climb up and I lay against the wall, remembering Nerdy, I look around for her in the dim room. She is across the conveyor belt, looking for her own way. I unhook the device and aim it towards her.

“(Y/N)! Here!” I yell. I fire it at her and she grabs it. I hold on tightly as she tries to climb up, the conveyor belt is strong under her feet. A piece of debris side sweeps her feet and she is hit, she cries out as her hand detaches. I feel the weight lift from my arm. Nerdy struggles to stand after falling, her body still being carried by the belt. I watch in horror as she reaches the end, disintegrating into the laser. More trash is pushed into the laser right after. I look back at the wall that I was holding onto. I regulate my breathing, noticing how much I’ve been holding my breath. 

"Come on!" I whisper to myself. Motivation isn’t a thing I have a lot of right now. I smell like shit and I look like shit. I try not to think of the look of Nerdy when she was reduced to nothing. There’s something uncanny about watching yourself die.

I retract the grapple back to me and tuck it under my arm as I hold onto the wall for longer. Soon the conveyor belt stops. I drop down onto the now-still floor. I glance at where I last saw Nerdy for a moment before looking around more. I look past the laser area. A red light at the end of the long room illuminates a door under it. I pry open a rusty door, making more noise than needed. I carefully stalk along with the dim parts of the service tunnel. A portal sounds startle me. I raise my tool and turn around. A Rick enters through, no wait, my Rick. I can just tell by his expression. 

"Whaaat the f-fuck are you doing here?!" He snaps.

"Heyyy Rick," I start, lowering my tool, "I should be asking the same to you, more of, how did you get here?"

"Did you forget who made the portal gun, dipshit? First, you steal my portal gun, not even bothering to make a cover for it. S-second, you then get arrested and lose that portal gun. And third, well, you're just a major dumbass." I sulk away, feeling more embarrassed than upset that he caught me. It's like I failed at rebelling, and he's bashing me for it. "Where's your brother?"

"A holding area above here.” I point above.

"Alright, let's go get him." Rick walks past me. 

"Wait, you aren't portaling?" I question.

"What is up with your brain recently? Do you think I can just portal around willy-nilly in here without being traced?" I respond in silence.

"Yeah, that's what I fucking thought, you're really growing up fast. To be a pain in my ass. You smell like shit too."

"Well, I'm sorry that your tech wasn't good enough not to be remotely detected. I mean, since everyone here is you. I feel like you'd have the ability to stop your gadgets from being detected." I remark, "Being the rickest Rick and all."

"You're going to shut up and si-lently follow me to rescue your brother. Which I assume you got into this mess." Rick's voice was laced with irritation. Morty was right. I am kind of like Rick. Of course, I don't believe I'm as big of an asshole as him, nor as smart. I'm the only one that challenges him. I guess my point in the rickuniverse is to just be the rebel child. Rick stops me as we arrive back at the cell area. He seems to hesitate before tossing a blaster at me.

"Are we going to save the other Morty's?" I ask, readying the blaster.

"And-and what? Foster all of them? Release them at the Rick's for them to be recaptured?"

"Okay, okay, I get it, geez. How about we release them, and leave the chaos? Or you can just go inside and sign Morty out, and we leave peacefully."

"Fuck you. I'll take any chances to kill myself. Now let's go." Rick rushes ahead. I mouth 'o-kay', following him into the room. He blasts open the door, quickly shooting the Rick stationed there. He grabs a crate to step up on, gaining the attention of the Morty's. "Listen up shitstains!" I recognize our Morty slowly pushing through the crowd. "Morty is coming with me!” A lot of the Mortys looked confused before our pushed through. Rick looks down at him. “And the rest of you can uh, run around I guess." Morty comes up and embraces me before immediately pushing me off and grimacing at the smell. "Yeah okay, stop the r-reunion, and let's go." Rick destroys the database with our universe numbers on it and opens another portal. Mortys rush by us, maybe to reunite with their own (Y/N)s. 

"How has it been hanging out with yourself?" I ask Morty.

"It was okay, I guess, really boring. What happened wi-with you? You smell like shit."

"Yeah, I'm aware. I escaped my holding area through the trash compactor with an alternate version of me before watching her get zapped out of existence. Then I entered the service area connected to it. Rick just had to appear the second I already escaped."

"Oh." Morty exhales.

"Hurry up, we don't have all day for this." Rick groans.

Morty and I walk through, entering the comfort of our home. I smile at Morty, then remember our roles in the universe. It's one of those things that bother you the more you think about it but you prefer to live in pure ignorance. I could talk to Morty about it, and how some pairs of us are expected to rebel or ignore it until I'm forced to acknowledge it. But I’d rather not. Rick groans loudly, taking his flask out and returning to the garage. Morty and I head to our room, passing Summer.

"Eugh, where the hell have you been? You smell terrible."

"Gee, thanks, I didn't know." I walk past her.

"S-she had a rough day." I hear Morty's excuse behind us. I get my stuff together and walk past him again to take a shower. I later return to the room to see Morty holding Uno cards. 

"W-wanna play?" He asks, already placing my hand down.

"Yeah." I sit down across from him.

"H-hey um, are you, good?" He starts dealing his cards. I pick up my deck.

"Mm, fine. At least they were nice enough to heal my shoulder." I fixate on my cards, looking over the colors.

"Tha-that's bullshit. You're lying!" Morty points. 

"What? I'm not lying.” I place my card down, "Go, play." 

“Something is bothering you."

“Well a carbon copy of me died in front of my eyes.”

“It’s not that. There’s something else a-and you’re not looking at me. Why aren't y-you looking at me?"

"Morty, we're playing a game," I look up at him. "See? Eye contact."

"Y-you're still lying, a-about something! I can just tell." I shrug him off, someone has been working on his twin instinct. 

“It’s really nothing Morty. Just drop it. Come on, are we playing or what?” I ask, he seems conflicted before sighing.

“Alright, okay. Fine, I’ll drop it.” He concedes. We then started playing Uno together, but I wasn’t that focused on the game. The fact that we have our own roles according to Rick is, unsettling. I knew that we had other dimensions with ourselves and that the Ricks made a community around themselves, but the fact that the universe has rules instilled specifically for Morty and me just irks me. I did escape a holding facility full of them. Maybe if it comes to it Morty and I would be able to overpower Rick. Hopefully, it’ll never come to that…-

The reason why I replaced the ending was because I wanted to keep Morty finding about the whole role thing in the universe for the actually part when it happens in the show. And keeping Morty out of it allows more conflict to happen when he does find out.