shesjustpeach-y-blog

[shesjustpeach-y-blog]

The One (that could have been)

Here’s the next part of my story to meeting “The One”.  This guy was no doubt about it, the love of my life.  He was my confidant, soulmate and my best friend.  But guess what? We’re NOT together. After the break up with my ex, I was in this weird funk where I wanted to meet someone because he did.  I guess in a way it was me trying to win the break up.  Nothing worked to get him jealous... except for one person.  My best friend.  He was around a lot more to keep me company and just keep my spirits lifted during this dark time in my life.  We actually grew more and more closer as the years went by.  There was just one problem; I was falling in love with him.  Without going into too much detail, we both loved each other so much.  It was almost impossible to separate us.  We shared the same humour and we were both incredibly weird together but it was in a way that only him and I understood.  That’s what made our friendship so special.  I have had an on and off crush on him for many years prior to all of this.  Then spending all this time together made me think that there was some sort of possibility to even give us a try. We actually spent almost an entire summer together just hanging out and he even slept over a couple of times.  He was the one boy my parents actually allowed to sleep over (well technically, it was only really when my two other girl friends who would stay over with us all together) but there were times where it was just him and I! I loved every moment of it BECAUSE of the fact that I was in love with him.   One day I just couldn’t hold back anymore and bawled my eyes out in my car at the mall’s parkade.  I was meeting him at the mall and there was just something that triggered me and led me to cry my eyes out over him.  He found my car in and came in.  He hugged me and he asked what was wrong... oh MAN.  I couldn’t get myself to tell him what was bothering me and he tried to get it out of me as much as he could.  After some convincing I finally thought to myself, “maybe it is time for me to tell him the truth... otherwise, you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering what he would have said if you didn’t tell him”.  That’s exactly what I did.  I admitted that I was still in love with him and I couldn’t help it.  I cried some more and he hugged me real tight and said, “you know I love you too, right?” I nodded.  He continued, “if the circumstances were different, then I would have chosen you”.  I mean, it’s not something every girl lives to hear when it comes to a man they really loved, but it was out there.  As weeks went by, it was kind of awkward for the two of us... but we stuck through it and continued to be friends.  We actually had a trip coming up for my birthday and I honestly thought I jeopardized that when I confessed that I still loved him. So another month or so go by and it’s trip time.  Luckily after that weird awkward period between us, things slowly started to get back to normal again.  We went to Hawaii together and of course I jokingly pretended that we were on our honeymoon and let’s just say that whatever happened before this trip was behind us.  We enjoyed ourselves as much as each other’s company.  Another couple of months later, I’ll admit I still loved him no matter what and I was willing to wait for him until he changed his mind and choose me and love me the way I wanted to be loved by him.  There were certain moments in between where he would still hold my hand, pretend to be my boyfriend and all that.  And that made me feel low key happy inside and I remember just thinking like this is how I want to live my life even if it’s not official.  Hell, we even made a pact that if I don’t find anybody by 25 and not married, we’re getting married.  And literally, no joke I was going to purposely wait and be single up until then.  Well let me tell you, things changed. But that’s for another story... Despite the fact that it didn’t work out for him and I; I will always adore him even though we’re not as close as we used to be.  He will still and always be considered one of my best friends.  My bbz5evr no matter what.

[shesjustpeach-y-blog]

The One (that got away)

There have been many instances where I have thought I met “The One”.  Growing up, I had always said the man I was going to be with would literally be tall, dark and handsome.  Little did I know, there was someone out there who I thought would have still been “The One” by now.  But he isn’t.  Here’s my story about him. It dates back to the year of 2008.  Yup, 10 years ago!  I had just started high school and I was talking to this boy on MSN Messenger (hopefully some of you remember what that is!) Everyday after school, him and I would talk for hours and of course, it was only natural that we both started to catch feelings.  Here’s the catch, he lived in Toronto and I lived just a province over.  We made it an online long distance relationship for a couple months and in between all of that, I met another boy.  He lived in the same city as me, tall, dark and he was good looking! At first, I’ll admit I was trying to deny any actual feelings for him because I did have a boyfriend after all.  After a while, I knew that this guy and I clicked the moment we met and it was hard to steer clear from him because I actually wanted to see him more and more.  I started to fall out of that long distance relationship but I still stuck around for no real reason and HE actually broke up with ME.  I wasn’t as upset but more relieved that it was over. So after some time post break up, this boy and I continued to hang out with our mutual friends and kept it that way for another couple of months.  Everything seemed to be going good and it was obvious that we both had feelings for each other.  But here’s ANOTHER catch, he had feelings for his best friend who he was closer with for many years before meeting me.  They actually ended up dating for the entire summer while he still was talking to me and he just couldn’t decide on a girl.  It sure was a tough summer for the three of us and it’s weird to say that I was caught up in a love triangle.  All summer, I resented the girl and was clearly jealous of the fact that they were together.  But it was also weird because at the end of the night he would talk to me on the phone and it felt right.  As bad as that all sounds on my part, things started to unravel when the new school year came around... He finally admitted that he still has feelings for me even though he was still with this girl that he said was his best friend.  I was pretty excited that he admitted it but all at the same time, things got messy. He broke up with her.  She already knew about me and how him and I would still hang out and talk.  She did not like me for sure, which is understandable.  Now that I’m a bit older, I wouldn’t have liked me either, LOL.  When he told me the news about them breaking up, I was excited because I knew that window was already going to be mine!  It wasn’t too long after they broke up, but he asked me to be his girlfriend... on the phone.  LMFAO, did I ever think that was romantic at the time.  I mean, it did hold a special part in our story of course.   Now let’s fast forward to the part where our relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend began.  I remember everything feeling so right like the universe was meant to have him and I together for the rest of our lives.  I realize now that back then, we were so young and we thought we knew what love was.  Not saying that our love wasn’t real, but it was what people call puppy love.  My parents did not approve of our relationship and that actually made it even harder to see each other.  We also didn’t go to the same school either.  They thought we were too young to be in a relationship and well, I guess just it was just natural for parents to think that way especially because we were just a couple of teenagers.  It was hard on us though because all we wanted to do was just be together.  Despite all the hardships, he made me feel like I was the most beautiful girl in the world.  That’s when I knew that someone like him was hard to come by because a lot of the boys before him found me unattractive after finding a girl that was slightly more attractive than myself. We dated for two years and a couple of months.  They were very memorable even to this day.  By the second year anniversary, things were starting to fall apart.  You see, he joined a choir group at school and I was whatever about it and just supported it.  He met someone and slowly fell out of our relationship.  I was so oblivious at the time and it was hard to believe that what had happened to the last girl he was with two summers ago was actually happening to me.  He seemed much more distant from me and I didn’t want to believe any of it.  Without going into the messy details, let’s fast forward to my 18th birthday party. I had a debut and he was my escort.  It’s believed that it’s bad luck to have your boyfriend as your escort and I never knew why...well, joke’s on me.  Throughout that entire night, I felt was magical, I shared a special dance with him because he was my last rose and I thought I was falling in love all over again.  I thought to myself, “maybe things will turn around and get better from here!” Things were super rocky for months prior to the party but he stuck it out until it all unraveled one day.  It was his birthday and I had planned to surprise him at his school and skip a class for him (which is something I NEVER do!) Bright and early in the morning it was a tough one, him and I were texting and he asked me where I saw myself in five years... and I thought to myself, “well how silly of him to ask! With you of course!”.  He didn’t see that same future with me.  As the day went on, I spent most of my day at MY school crying my eyes out wondering why this was happening to me.  Then I headed towards his school to deal with it in person and that’s when shit hit the fan.  He was breaking up with me and I didn’t want to accept it.  I was covered in tears forcing him to love me back the way I had hoped he would and what he had promised.  Eventually he left me in the hallway and kissed me goodbye on the forehead and walked away.  Days went by and back and forth he would ask to get back with me and break up with me the next day, back together, then finally, he broke up with me for good.  Those were the most traumatic days of my life that I’ve ever experienced.  But I’m also hella grateful that it happened. It’s crazy to think that this even took place 10 years ago and this story alone only feels like it happened 2 years ago.  Looking back at it all now, I can only smile and I’m glad that he was a part of my life.  Although things didn’t end on good terms, I do wish him well in life and I hope he knows that.  But this was just the beginning of my story on how I ended up meeting “The One”.