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There is nothing worse than feeling inadequate, yes, not even feeling hated. I can live with a person's hatred because it is outside of me, I have no control over it, but feeling inadequate is based in me, in the fact that I want so much to give, that I care, that I need to make this work. The fact I can't or people telling you, you don't cut it, your best is not enough, that you have been measured and found lacking. This really fucks me up. I know I have deeply rooted issues because the people I have loved most in life have always made me feel like this and told me in no uncertain terms what they thought. I give and I give, I try and I try but its never enough or good enough. I've felt inadequate all my life...not good enough a daughter, not a good enough a wife, which is why I am not married anymore, not a good enough sister, not a good enough mother. I don't really know if it is them or the really high bar I set for myself, the damn perfeccionist in me taking over. All I know is it hurts, it makes me cry, and it makes me want to run.

e.v.e.

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The 2nd full moon of August 2023 l Rami Ammoun

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If Words Could Hold You // ma.c.a

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super blue moon 🌕

30th of august, 2023

📷: @iekphotography

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Photo by Lusher

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“I felt like crying but nothing came out. It was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can’t feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. But I think I have known it pretty often, too often.”

— Charles Bukowski

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meirl

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“Depression is being able to see a future, but not believing it could ever happen.”

-Shelby Zastrow

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you are not broken because you are sad

you are not broken because you are anxious

you are not broken because you hallucinate 

you are not broken because you  hear things

you are not broken because you can’t focus

you are not broken because you are compulsive

you are not broken because you have tics

you are not broken because you have intrusive thoughts

you are not broken because of your mental illness

you are not broken

[shlbi]