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shower-reveries · 4 years ago
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12/6/21
The truth is I am envious and insecure. I am envious of people who got it together, who are consistent, and who are always filled with positivity & contentment. I am tired. Tired of disappointing myself, tired of not living up to the expectations of people around me especially those who matter to me. I'm afraid. I'm afraid to be a disappointment. Yes, their love for me may never change but that's not how I am with myself. The truth is I sometimes wish this life would end so I can start a new one if reincarnation even exists. I'm tired of working for people I do not know, I am tired of being a slave for money and still not achieving anything big. I would love to move somewhere far and leave everything behind. That was the plan but this pandemic happened.
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shower-reveries · 4 years ago
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Not Seeking Revenge
In 1 Samuel 24, David and his men were hiding in a cave to escape a murderous King Saul. When Saul wandered into the same cave to relieve himself, David’s men saw a too-good-to-ignore opportunity for David to get revenge (vv. 3–4). But David went against this desire to get even. “The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master,” he said (v. 6). When Saul discovered that David chose to spare his life, he was incredulous. “You are more righteous than I,” he exclaimed (vv. 17–18). When have you most felt like getting even with someone? How can David’s response guide you as you seek justice for yourself and others? Rarely do I get the urge to take revenge on someone I hate but when I do, I try to fight it. No, I am not perfect. I admit that being able to get even with someone who did you wrong would probably feel sweet & fulfilling. Whenever I get this kind of urge, I reflect and really think about it. Doing others harm, is it really what I want? It might satisfy me for some time but will I be happy about it eventually? If I felt offended by the wrong thing that person did to me, do I really want to make somebody else feel that way too? When will it end?
Most of the time I end up not taking revenge and be the person who would want to end that harmful urge with me. This is possible not only because I made that decision but mostly because of God. Praise God.
"Jesus, lover of our enemies, may I seek justice Your way."
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shower-reveries · 4 years ago
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I've always listened to people and I will still do, but right now— everything's just too much and I'm tired.
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shower-reveries · 4 years ago
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My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that, and I intend to end up there.
— Rumi
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shower-reveries · 4 years ago
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“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”
— Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
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shower-reveries · 4 years ago
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I want to be heard but I don't want to be seen.
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shower-reveries · 4 years ago
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Agree.
“All relationships have one law: never make the one you love feel alone, especially when you’re there.”
— Unknown
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shower-reveries · 4 years ago
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“It is easy to love people in memory; the hard thing is to love them when they are there in front of you.”
— John Updike, My Father’s Tears and Other Stories
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shower-reveries · 4 years ago
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He stopped talking. You stopped talking. You were hurt for a moment then suddenly you just feel nothing.
It's sad when you realize the love you held on to for so long was that easy to lose.
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shower-reveries · 4 years ago
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“You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”
— Brené Brown
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shower-reveries · 4 years ago
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“Stop comparing yourself to other people, all it does is hurt you. There’s no correct way to exist in this world, so just be who you are because it’s enough. You are absolutely perfect the way you are.”
— Unknown
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shower-reveries · 4 years ago
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My favorite word as of today..
Heard about "kismet" before? I doubt because it is an uncommon word, at least for me and where I live. But if you have then good for you!
I first heard this word when I happened to listen to this one Filipino song which has the same title. It was from an OPM band called Silent Sanctuary. The lyrics, the music, and the song is just beautiful overall. Let me share it to you here:
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Kismet, according to www.dictionary.com, means fate or destiny.
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Do I believe in destiny? Maybe yes and maybe no.
Personally, I feel like we're all destined to be someone or something at some point in our lives but the real question is.. would it be constant? I don't think so.
Say it has been your dream to become a doctor since you were a child. Fortunately, and with loads of effort, your dream came true! We could say that it was meant to be! But a couple of years in your flourishing career and your mind suddenly changed, and realized you actually wanted to become a full-time artist or teacher for good and you pursued it. Was it also fate or was it an option?
To be honest, I'm not sure either. But the good thing is we have the power to do what we aspire to be and that's more beautiful than any other words in this world.
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