silvermoose

[silvermoose]

Slice of Fucked up Life

“It's my first time," she said shyly. It definitely wasn't his; while Andrew had never had an official girlfriend before Julia, he had played around quite a bit. But it was nice to have the privacy of her dorm; with other girls, it had mostly been backseats of cars or bathroom stalls in the basements of campus buildings. Once or twice he even paid for sketchy motel rooms, all to avoid being caught by-

No. He pushed the thoughts away. This isn't about her.

He effortlessly unhooked Julia’s bra with only one hand.

“You're a pro," she giggled. “Wait, shoot, I forgot to take my eyedrops. Let me do this quickly.”

She walked to her desk and tied her hair back, and started fiddling with her stuff. From behind, she kind of looked like…

“Hey!” Julia said as Andrew pulled on her ponytail.

“What? Just a little harmless teasing,” he said, pulling it again. He tried to be gentler, but he didn't want to play softly with Julia's hair. He wanted to pull, hard, on her hair, maybe just for fun, maybe to teach her a lesson.

“Meanie,” Julia said, turning around and letting her hair back down. This pulled Andrew back to the present, and he looked into her soft amber eyes. She was sweet and innocent, and Andrew was going to corrupt her.

He got up and flipped the light off. He turned around, and as his eyes adjusted to the dark, he saw Ashley, topless, sitting on the bed.

He turned the light back on. It was Julia. Julia was sitting on the bed.

“Julia,” he said aloud. “I want to see you for this,” he approached her. I want to see Julia, he thought as he sat down and kissed her. Julia, he thought. She's Julia. I'm with Julia. This is Julia.

“I love you, Andrew,” she whispered softly.

“I love you… Julia,” he said, with a slight delay that he hoped she didn’t catch. 

“Julia,” he whispered to her. He bit her shoulder so he wouldn't have the chance to trip up.

“Oww!” she said.

“Julia,” he said again, maybe to her, or maybe as a reminder to himself.

Julia.

______

“You smell like sex,” she said as he walked into their room

“How would you even know what that smells like?” he asked as he got undressed and changed into his sleep clothes. 

“You reek of it whenever you have a new hussy to fuck,” she replied. 

“Cry about it.” He slipped into his bed, facing away from her. He could feel her staring, but didn't want to engage.

“You better hope you don’t have any nightmares tonight, you aren’t joining me while you smell like whore.”

He ignored her.

“Who is it? Someone I know?”

He didn’t answer. “Bet I can guess.” “Just go to sleep already.”

“It would have to be someone from your class…” “It’s not,” Andrew lied.

“... Maybe someone we went to school with…” Ashley ignored him

She doesn’t know, Andrew thought to himself.

“Maybe someone with dark hair? That’s your thing, right?”

She doesn’t know, she’s bluffing.

“Am I close?”

“Nope.”

“Someone we have a history with?”

She’s bluffing she’s bluffing she’s bluffing…

“It’s Julia, isn’t it?” she asked. Andrew's blood ran cold. He had done his best to keep Ashley in the dark. How did she know?

“I wonder what she would think if she found out about what happened to her friend.”

“Don't.”

“If she knew that her darling boyfriend had an awful past.”

“Ashley.”

“Would she look at you the same? Or could your little slut ever look at you without seeing her dead best friend?”

“Leyley,” he said. That usually got her to shut up for a few seconds. “I need this.”

“You need her? More than you need me??”

“I need to get laid, Ashley.” He rolled over to stare at the ceiling. “Fuck, you dont understand. I've shared the same room with you since we were kids.”

“And you think that's a bad thing?”

“When I'm horny, yeah! I just want some fucking relief, let some stress out, and I'm allowed what, 15 minutes of privacy in the shower each day?”

“Would Julia still stick around if she knew that you killed her friend?”

“Would I?”

“What?” Ashley said, not quite processing what he said.

Andrew turned to face Ashley. “Would I stick around if my girlfriend knew about my past? Or would she turn me in? Or maybe I would turn myself in. If anybody knew, they could turn me in, so maybe I'd just run instead. Where nobody could find me.”

They stared at each other for a moment.

“We made a blood oath,” Ashley said as she looked away.  “That you would stay…”

“...if you stay quiet,” Andrew said. “That's all I fucking need from you. Don't tell her about that, and I'm here.”

“Except when you're fucking that bitch!” Ashley said as she violently turned over.

Andrew didn't say anything to that. Ashley was quiet, and that was as close to a win as he was going to get. 

______

Andrew had classes for most of the next day, but he couldn’t concentrate. He could only think about what he had done to tip Ashley off. 

How did she know?? He wondered. I never used her name on the phone, she was never by our building. Did Ashley follow me to class?

Since Ashley now knew, he decided to make his relationship with Julia public. Hiding it wasn’t going to help anymore.

He got home to Ashley making dinner. Wonderful, now I have to deal with a crappy dinner too.

“How did you know?” he asked almost immediately.

“I know everything,” she said smugly.

“You’re so dumb, I’m surprised you know anything.”

“Hahaha, you’re the one who thought you were so smooth hiding your hussy. Who’s really the dumb one?”

“Why does it even matter-” “Dinner’s ready!” Ashley called out.

“I started seeing this girl…” he started to say.

“Andrew, that's wonderful! I'm so happy to hear it! You deserve someone nice,” his mom said.

“Don’t get too attached, mom, she’s just his latest fucktoy. Did you know he used to skip class to fuck his lab partner his sophomore year?” Ashley said. Andrew's cheeks flushed; so she knew about his past.

“Not at the dinner table, Ashley.” Mrs. Graves warned. Ashley ignored her.

“Remember when he used to go to ‘cram sessions’ sometimes after class? He actually paid for a room so he could sleep with Miranda.”

“Ashley, that's enough.” Mrs. Graves said. “This girl sounds wonderful. Maybe if you lost the attitude, you could find someone too. Maybe then you’ll even leave the apartment sometimes, instead of staying here and bugging us all the time.”

“If he gets her pregnant, they'll end up just like you and Dad.”

“Oh FUCK OFF, Ashley!” Andrew yelled. 

“Both of you, shut up! Ashley, go to your room! Andrew, go, I don't care, smoke a cigarette on the balcony or something.”

“I'm 20, you can't tell me what to do!” Ashley screamed. She left the apartment, slamming the door behind her.

“Get back here, and don't slam my door!” Mrs Graves followed Ashley, also slamming the door behind her.

“I have a headache,” their father said. He got up and went to his bedroom, and Andrew was left to clear the table of the mostly uneaten food.

“...her name is Julia” Andrew said to the empty table. He got up and started collecting the dishes. 

That went better than I expected, he thought to himself. 

______

Ashley quickly moved from aggressive to passive-aggressive. Over the next couple of weeks, she tried not-so-subtly to mess with his relationship. She started by leaving fake love notes in his books or clothes, so that they might fall out in front of Julia and cause a fight. When that didn’t do anything, she sprayed his clothes with perfume to try to make Julia suspicious. Julia of course never doubted Andrew when he said it was from his sister. Next, she started to set the alarm clock for ungodly hours of the night so he'd be tired all day; he didn't have work or school, so it didn't affect her. It backfired when Andrew spent the night at Julia's dorm just to get away for a night.

“Andrew?” She said as he walked in the next afternoon. 

“Yeah?” He replied coldly.

“I want to be friends again.”

“We’re still friends, Ashley. You're my sister, no one could change that.”

“Oh, I'm a ‘that’ am I?” 

“You know what I meant,” Andrew said and he pulled her in for a hug. She softened up immediately. 

“Let's watch a movie,” she said. “I rented Bloodlust: The Hatchet Murders! It's a remake, but I heard it's actually better than the original.”

“I can't tonight, I actually have plans with-”

“...my replacement.” Ashley finished.

“What? No, she's just a friend,” he lied instinctively. “I mean, my girlfriend, we were going to go to some concert her friend's band is playing.”

“We haven't hung out in weeks, And you're already leaving again??” Ashley cried out.

“We haven't hung out in weeks because you kept- no, it's fine. I'll call Julia.” he didn't want to break the new peace between him and Ashley, so he canceled his plans. And yeah, Bloodlust: The Hatchet Murders actually was better than the original.

But it didn't stop there. The next time, she was sick and needed him to get ginger ale from the store, and now that he was home, he should stay to keep her company. Then a pipe broke while their parents were out of town. When she said she needed help making dinner, he managed to ignore her and get away, but when he got to Julia's, she called and said she burned her finger, could he come see if she needed to go to the hospital. 

“Ask mom to take you.”

“She and Dad are in their room. They're making weird sounds, I'm not going in there.”

“Fine, leaving now. How did you even get this number?” he asked as he got dressed. 

“Redial,” Ashley said. 

“Of course.” Andrew sighed. “I'll be there shortly.”

“Leaving already?” Julia asked from bed as Andrew started to get dressed.

“Yeah, Ashley burned her finger, might be bad.”

“Worse than leaving your girlfriend alone?” Julia pouted. 

“Hey. None of that. We're going to that new restaurant downtown tomorrow, we'll see each other then.” He kissed her on the head and left.

Except, Ashley found out and joined them at the restaurant, spilling hot tea on Julia's lap. Then she just happened to find them at the movie theater,  and got them kicked out for talking. The final straw for Julia was when they were out for a walk in the park and Ashley was riding her bike there, and “accidentally” crashed into her and knocked them both down.

“Watch where you're going!” Ashley said as she rubbed a scape on her knee.

“Hey! I was just walking, you should control your bike!”

“You should've jumped out of the way.”

“You should get your own friends you can go hang out with, instead of interrupting us!”

“Julia,” Andrew snapped at her. “It's a public park, she’s allowed to be here.” He helped Ashley to her feet.

“I think it's broken,” Ashley pouted as Andrew picked up her bike.

“It's not. It's fine. Go ride on a trail.” Andrew said.

“Hmmph!” Ashley got on the bike and rode away.

“See? She's going away,” Andrew said, as he turned back to Julia. She was still on the ground, and looked up at him with sad eyes. 

“Yeah,” she said, as she helped herself up. “I think I'm going to go too, I should do some more studying.”

“...right. Let me walk you home,” Andrew offered, and they went back to her dorm in silence.

“Julia! How was it, hon?” one of Julia’s dormmates said as Andrew and Julia entered her residence hall.

“Yeah, it was nice,” Julia lied, and the two women hugged. 

“Really?” The other girl said, not bothering to hide her disdain. She led Julia away and shot a look back at Andrew. “You can go now,” she said to him.

“Goodbye, Jules. I'll call you later.” But Julia's friend flipped him off.

“Honey, he ain't worth it.” The other girl made a point to say it loud enough for him to hear.

Maybe she's not worth it, he thought in the girls’ general direction. He felt bad for thinking it, but he felt worse for thinking that maybe he was right. 

______

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He didn't want to do this, but he knew it was for her own good. It might hurt her now, but at least Ashley would stop bothering them and she could move on.

“Julia? It's Andrew.”

“Andrew?” Julia said from behind the door. She opened it slightly and looked out at him “What are you doing here?” She looked at him with wide, almost fearful eyes.

“I came here to talk to you,” Andrew said. But something was wrong. She's been crying.  “Can I come in?" he asked uneasily. 

“Um, I wasn't expecting you, hold on.” She closed the door and Andrew heard some movement. 

“Jules?” He said, distractedly using her nickname. You can't do that, you're trying to end this, remember? 

“You can come in, I guess,” she said. She opened the door but didn't meet his eyes. She had her arms hidden behind her back.

“Jules-uh, Julia? What's going on?”

“Nothing. I was just in the middle of- in the middle of studying. I wasn't expecting you.”

Andrew looked at her but she still didn't meet his gaze. He put his hand on her chin and lifted it so she would look at him. “Julia,” he said, rougher than he meant. “What's going on?”

Her eyes started to water. “I'm just… I'm just dealing with some things now.” She turned her head away from him again and looked down at the floor. “Maybe you should just come back tomorrow.”

“I'm herenow, so let's talk now.” He grabbed her hands from behind her back, and that’s when he saw them; a series of cuts running across her wrists down her arm.

“No no no no, Julia, what the fuck, what the fuck is going on? Fuck!”

“I'm-I'm sorry Andrew," she said, pulling her hands back and hiding them behind her.

“Fuck, stay here, I'll be right back.” Andrew ran out to the dorm's bathroom and came back with some wet paper towels and cleaned the wounds as best he could. “Do you have a first aid kit or something?”

“Common area,” she said quietly. Andrew left and brought back some wound cream and gauze. He carefully put the cream on and wrapped her arms in the bandages.

“Jules. What's going on?”

She looked away and pointed to the phone on her wall; its voice-mail light was blinking. He walked over and hit the button

“To listen to your messages, press one. To repeat your message, press 4. To delete your message, press 7.”

One.

“Hi Ju-li-a,” Ashley. “How's college life treating you? Hopefully miserably, because you deserve it…”

He didn't want to hear the rest of it. Seven. 

“Is Andy there? If not he's probably fucking some other bitch…”

Seven.

“God, I wish you were dead…”

Seven.

“Hey Julia, its Clara, do you have the notes from-”

Seven. Wait, shit, not that one. Oh well.

“Your stupid cunt friend would probably still be here if you had spent that weekend with her.”

Seven. He hung up. The light kept blinking.

“Jules, why didn't you tell me?

“Would you have done anything if I had?” She didn't ask out of malice, but it hurt him just the same; maybe it was because he knew he wouldn't. “I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that…”

“Hey. It's going to be okay. She can be… scary, but…” he trailed off. What could he say? Ashley would stop? Of course she wouldn't. That he would protect her? He already proved that he can't. Ashley couldn't hurt her? He knew that was a lie.

“... but you're here,” she said, wrapping her arms around him. She looked up at him and wiped away her tears, giving him a sad smile. “What made you come visit me?”

… Fuck. Could he really do it now, of all times?

“Because I love you?” He said, trying to convince himself as much as her. Coward.

“Awww. I love you too,” she said, resting her head on his chest.

Oh yeah. This will definitely end well.

[silvermoose]

Fanfic I wrote for The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. Originally posted on Reddit, then Ao3.

---

Being able to be openly affectionate with Ashley was one advantage to quarantine, Andrew had to admit. Even when their parents lived with them, their mom was always giving them disgusted looks, or making snide comments to them. Now he didn’t have to watch over himself, trying to be cautious about every interaction they had. He could interact with his sister without feeling judged about it. Everything felt natural, and he could be himself.

This changed after they started having sex.

He became much more self conscious, in a way that he never was before. Even buying condoms had become an ordeal. In his past life, he would just pick some up when he got cigarettes. He didn’t care who saw him, because he didn’t care if anyone knew that he was getting laid. It was different now.

He tried not to go to the same place twice, and never went with Ashley, lest someone realize how similar they look and make the connection. Each trip had him on the brink of an anxiety attack. They had discussed other options, but getting a prescription for the birth control pill would start a paper trail, and the consequences of pulling out were too dire. So instead Andrew dealt with the fear and shame of being found out every time he went to the pharmacy. He also stocked up on pregnancy tests out of paranoia; It got to the point where Ashley was used to just taking one every few days as a matter of routine.

“You know how that’s not how it works, right?” she said the third time, as she handed him the test with one blue line. “It doesn’t show you the moment you get pregnant, it only shows after a few weeks.”

“It’s either this or your demon trinket, and I’m not sacrificing anyone else if I can avoid it,” he said. He checked the box to confirm that yes, a single line meant ‘not pregnant’.

While She didn't mind at first, it got tiresome after a while. So she stole a pen from the front desk while Andrew was out. When it was time to take another test, she drew an extra line on it.

“Hey An-dy,” Ashley sang to him, holding out a test with two blue lines on it.

Andrew puked. Violently.

“What the fuck, Andy?” Ashley screamed.

“You're pregnant?? How did this happen? We were so careful! Ashley. I don't think we can do this.”

“Well, then it's a good thing I'm not actually pregnant, Asshole. It was a joke. I drew on the extra line.”

It took a minute for Andrew to register what she had said.

“What? What the fuck, Ashley, why would you do that to me??”

“I didn't think it would make you puke! Did you ever puke after having sex with one of your floozies??”

“It's not the sex, Ashley,  it's the thought of having a baby!”

“You think I'd be a bad mother.”

“No, I think it's a bad idea to have a child when both parents are unemployed, on the run, and oh yeah, they’re siblings!!!”

“It's not like anyone knows”

“Really, Ashley? You think that no one ever looks at us and sees how similar we are? Which features we share? The same mannerisms we have? That’s bullshit.”

“Is that why you never show affection to me in public? That you won’t kiss me or hold my hand? You’re afraid some stranger will judge you?”

“If they notice us enough to judge us, they notice us enough to report us, Ashley.”

“We’ve been out in public a lot without anyone saying anything!”

“Not while we were fucking!  Going out in public is hell. All I think about is people seeing through me, realizing I'm the freak that fucks my sister. And when I'm alone with you, I feel better. I feel happy. I feel like I’m home. I reinforce that they’re right .”

“Oh, so I make you a freak?” She yelled, more angry than hurt.

“Ashley. Leyley .” he said gently. He embraced her and kissed her hair. “You don’t make me a freak. You make me happy. I can’t live without you. But I don’t know how much longer we can go on like this. It seems inevitable that we’re either going to get caught and arrested, or killed, or something else, but we’re going to be separated, and I don’t know what I will do with myself if that happens. I don’t want to lose you.”

“And I don’t want you to leave me.”

He closed his eyes and held her tighter.

“What do we do, Leyley? To be free?”

“Let's ask the trinket,” Ashley suggested. “We still have one vision on this thing.”

It seemed like such a big ask. Up until this point, the trinket had primarily worked when it wanted to. But it was right about the hitman, it had been right about them sleeping together, so he agreed to give it a shot.They slept together that night with his arms wrapped around her, holding the trinket between their hands.

Robbing the pharmacy was easier than it had any right to be, but that was the advantage of having demons on your side. The place was remote and had only one pharmacist, so when they went in Andrew simply locked the door behind him while Ashley held the gun to the pharmacist.

“Don't be stupid about this, and you can live,” she said. The pharmacist nodded. “We want sectional. All of it.”

“Sectional? Is that what it’s called, Ashley?”

“ Leyley . And yeah, something like that.”

“Something like that? Seconal, Ley. It’s Seconal.” He shot Leyley a look, but she only smiled and blew him a kiss in return.

The pharmacist brought them their entire stock of pills, which wasn’t a lot, but would be enough. The Graves then bound and gagged the pharmacist and left him behind the counter, a rare act of mercy for them.

In the car, Ashley popped open one of the beers they had bought earlier and handed it to Andrew.

“Not while I'm driving!” He said, and tried to wave it away.

“What do you care? The vision showed we’d arrive safely.”

“I need to be able to chisel properly.”

“Why? Does it matter how nice it looks?”

“You know what? Fuck it, you're right.” Andrew took the can from her and took a swig.

They had a good buzz going by the time they arrived at their destination. Ashley was initially against the idea, but Andrew convinced her that if it was in the vision, they should do it that way. Plus, since their parents' bodies were missing, there was no actual grave. No Coffin. Just a tombstone with the word GRAVES on it, with their parents names and dates of birth below it.

Andrew chipped away at their names and dates of birth as best he could until it only had “GRAVES” on it. It looked alright, considering how much alcohol he had. Ashley laid out a blanket over the area in front of the tombstone, and they sat down on it.

“Okay,” Andrew said, as he poured the pills into two piles. “I guess it doesn’t matter how much we take? So we’ll each take half. Then lie down and stay on your back.”

“On my back so we can go out with a bang?” Leyley teased. 

“I'm serious, Leyley. If you puke everything up, it won't work.”

“Being on my back will stop me from puking?” she asked. She took the pills and followed it with some more beer.

“Yes,” Andrew lied. The reality was that if either of them threw up while on their back, they would choke on it; being on their sides meant they might survive the ordeal. 

“Leyley?”

“Mm?”

“In your vision, what was death like?”

“Peaceful,” Leyley said. “It was just us, here, then a feeling of warmth and heaviness. I woke up from the vision with a sense of peace.”

“I hope that means hell is nice,” Andrew said. “Look up at the stars with me.”

“Very romantic.”

“It is, actually. Author Mary Shelley supposedly lost her virginity on her moms grave. Romeo and Juliet died in her family’s crypt.”

“You always knew how to bring the romance,” Leyley said, her voice somewhat unsteady. Romantic, not romance, Andrew almost corrected, but now wasn't the time. He was starting to feel dizzy and didn't want those to be his last words to her. 

“I love you, Leyley.”

Leyley didn’t respond, and Andrew didn’t want to risk moving his head to look at her. Instead, he reached his hand out to hold hers. He felt his muscles grow weaker and weaker, and he couldn't keep his eyes open. As his breathing started to slow, he felt himself overcome with a sense of peace and calm.

[silvermoose]

Fanfic I wrote for The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. Originally posted on Reddit, then Ao3.

___________

The sex was good, sure. Hell, it was great; that wasn’t the problem. But things had changed; she used to tease him and relished in breaking down his barriers. They had no more barriers, which changed the light touching of him trying to steal a moment of intimacy to him grabbing and pawing at her body. The sex was good, sure, but the teasing, the chase, the dance was gone.

It used to be cute when Andrew would have nightmares and crawl into bed with her. She would be sleeping when she felt him gently nudge her, asking her to move over. He would climb in and she would wrap her arms around him. Sometimes he would cry, sometimes he was silent, and sometimes he would just ask her, “Am I a bad person?” She would stroke his hair and coo at him and he would take comfort in her arms until he was asleep again.

It was different now. She knew he would always be there, in bed, whether he needed her or not. Sometimes before her, taking dominance of what was once her space. He would hold her and sleep through the night, and she could hold onto nothing but herself. He wanted her now, but did he need her?

Sex gave her the leverage she wanted, and she knew he would always come back. That was the important thing, that she had Andrew.

…

He fucked her.

She loved it all; the biting, the hair pulling, the marks on her body that she would have for days afterwards. They were at it so often, she always had some kind of mark on her. But she kind of wondered if he enjoyed it; afterwards he would have the same downcast expression that he had had after their first time. It had also become harder and harder to distract him from it.

“Want to go to the balcony? I need an oral fixation, it can be a cigarette, or it can be something else...”

“Yeah, a cigarette would be great.”

… okay then.

When they found a place that they could stay long term, it was another shady motel, with another balcony. She could have pushed for something nicer, he'd do it for her. But there was something comforting about the lack of permanence, that they hadn’t surrendered to “settling down”. The balcony was another comfort; it was a constant that she had grown used to.

Andrew lit a cigarette, took a drag, and passed it to her. She then took a long drag and slowly exhaled the smoke. That was something new that she enjoyed. What used to be time wasted now became time together, where she could join him on her terms.

There was a calm silence on them, which was a change from the chaotic energy that used to engulf her. She didn’t know where it came from or how long it had been there; she wasn’t used to it. She didn’t know if either of them liked it.

“Do you still love me?” He asked, looking not at her but at the view in front of them.

“Do you love me?” She asked in turn. She didn’t look at him either, staring into the space off the balcony instead.

“Always have.”

“You’ve never said it.”“I tried to show it.”

“I want to hear you say it.”

“Fine. I love you, Ashley.”

“I love you too, Andy.”

It had slipped out so naturally, she hadn’t even realized it. It was only when she noticed him staring at her that she thought to ask.

“Is something wrong?”

He looked at her intensely. “You don’t love me. You still love him.”

She didn’t have an answer to that.

“What will be the next adventure of Andy and Leyley?” Andrew smiled weakly at her, but his eyes betrayed his hurt.

She gave him a weak smile back.

“I think Leyley died.”

“Mm? When did that happen?”

“I don’t know.” she answered honestly. It had been so gradual she didn’t know when it had happened. Or maybe it was happening now.

“Next adventure of Andrew and Ashley?”

She had to think carefully about what she wanted, something she still wasn’t used to. “Wanna do something mortifying again?” she asked. She managed to give a coy smile along with a set of “Fuck Me” eyes.

“Sure,” he said, crushing the butt of the cigarette in the Ashtray. He walked inside without even making eye contact.

Sure? She thought. But it didn’t bother her. It meant she still had him. He was still here.

Well.

Andrew was here now. And he was here to stay.

[silvermoose]

Soon

Fanfic I wrote about The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. Originally on reddit, then Ao3.

----

It was late, so fortunately there was no one around. He backed up his car so it was a good distance from the bridge.

I should be able to gain enough speed to go straight through the barrier. Drowning would be hard, but he had his seat belt on to keep him in place, and the windows open to make it easier for water to enter the car.

He cleared his mind of all thoughts. It was surprisingly easy now, he was calmer than he had been in… well, ever.

He hit the gas. The car raced forward, through both lanes towards the water, and crashed into the barrier, which didn't move an inch.

“Fuck,” he screamed out loud. “FUCK!!!”

The car was damaged, badly, but he was still able to back it up to try again. He gave himself more distance this time.

This should break the barrier, he thought, and slammed on the gas pedal. It lurched forward, but stalled, and lurched forward again. The crash had fucked something up, and the car would not gain traction.

“FUCKING HELL,” he screamed. He tried to back up again, but the car no longer moved smoothly, only in short, jerky motions. He banged his head on the wheel and let the horn go for a few seconds before lifting his head back up.

He could jump, sure, but he was too good a swimmer to stay down. If only he had the Christmas light or ropes from his parents, then he could tie a rock to himself for weight.

Fine. Police I guess. He started driving on the road again, as normal as he could given the damage to the car. He'd find a Police station soon enough, or maybe he'd get pulled over and could confess his sins on the spot. But as he drove, he decided against it; being arrested wasn't what he wanted, not really. Prison would only take him from his sister, and despite, well, everything, he didn't want that.

He found himself driving mindlessly, stalling and stopping every couple of minutes. He wasn't sure why or how, but he ended up back at his parents, which was as good a place as any.

He got out and opened the front door; they hadn't bothered locking it when they left. He went back to the car, opened the trunk, carefully picking up his sister's lifeless body. He wasn't particularly strong, but she wasn't particularly heavy, either. He carried her across the threshold and laid her gently on his parents bed. He closed the door to the house but left the trunk open, left the front door unlocked. He left the gun, since he had already emptied it long ago. Surely one of the neighbors would get worried by the sight and call the police; when the officer entered, he would go for their gun. Suicide by cop wasn't as clean as driving off the bridge and drowning, but at least their bodies would be together. He lay down next to Ashley.

“I'm not sorry,” he said to her. “This has been a long time coming. I only wish I had thought this through better, so you wouldn't have to wait so long.”

He could have used the cleaver, sure. It was good enough for the warden, good enough for the woman from 302. But its frequent use had likely dulled the blade, and he didn't want to suffer. That's why he didn't use it on Leyley, either; besides, she was too beautiful, he didn't want to ruin that. The marks around her neck from his hand left him guilty enough as it was.

They wouldn't bury us together, he suddenly realized. Even if he got the cops to shoot him, they would still separate them. Different graves, hell, maybe different cemeteries. Or cremate them separately. He went back to see her, with the cleaver this time.

“I'm sorry, Leyley, but this is the only way I can be sure”

He didn't want to; this might be the most peaceful he had ever seen her. But he had to, and deep down, he knew she'd be fine with it. He was almost tempted to laugh at how used to this he was, but he took more care of her body than he had the cultist or his parents. As he made the soup, he didn't bother adding any spices that might make it taste better; he wanted it to taste the same way her soup had tasted. When he was done, he wrapped her bones in the nicest sheet he could fine and held them close. When it was ready, he sat down to eat it. He ate around the potatoes and carrots and onions, he wanted to make sure he had all of her in him

No cops had arrived by the time he was done. Andrew grew impatient, he just wanted to be with her again. He took matters into his own hands.

“911, what's your emergency?” “I killed my sister.” “You… killed your sister?” “And the neighbor. And the warden. Ate the cultist. Killed and ate my parents, after we sacrificed them to the demon. Well, I guess my sister was the one who killed them. Oh, but I killed the hitman and stole his car. And Nina, when we were kids. And I think that's everything.” “Okay, sir, and when was the last time you took your medication? Do you have any with you now?” “What? No, I'm not on medication. This all actually happened. I need you to send an officer to arrest me.” “Okay, and are you seeing or hearing anything else unusual?” “... no.” “Okay. I can send an ambulance over, but it will take about 20 minutes.” “I need a cop, not an ambulance!” “I'm sorry, sir, but policy dictates we don't send cops for mental health crises. But don't worry, I promise our EMTs will take good care of you.” “... fine.”

He gave dispatch his parents’ address and ended the call. When the EMTs saw he wasn't lying, then they would call the police and he could go from there. He walked out the front door with Ashley's bones and sat on the pavement. He lit a cigarette while he waited, but put it out moments later.

She hated that I smoked. He waited until he saw the ambulance come down the street, lights and siren off, and he held her bones close to his chest.

I'll see you soon, Leyley. I'm coming home.

[silvermoose]

Learning to Fly

Originally posted to Reddit, then Ao3. Inspired by this art:

https://twitter.com/Aweopalta2/status/1745842073335394629

___

“Hi Andrew,” the voice said. Ashley hadn’t heard the phone ring for the buzzer, or the knock at the door, but hearing her say Andy’s name woke Ashley up from a dead sleep.

“Heyy,” he said in turn, followed by some giggling. Ashley hated her giggling. Hated her voice. Hated her. And now she was here, in sacred ground: Ashley’s home. She shot straight up from the couch to greet her.

“Hi Julia,” Ashley said, using the voice specifically reserved for her. “How are classes? Still failing chemistry?”

“Oh, uh, hi Ashley, I didn’t know you were here. Uh, classes are-”

“Don’t answer her,” Andrew said, “we were just leaving.” He slammed the door behind him, and Ashley was alone in the apartment.

Hussy, she thought, and checked the clock. 2:37. If they go straight to her dorm, they’ll be there by 3. I can probably get him back by 4. She picked up the phone and dialed her number.

Hi! You’ve reached Julia’s room. Sorry I didn’t answer! Leave a message, and I’ll call you back!

“Heyyyyy Andy,” Ashley cooed. “You left so fast, I didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye! And now I’m home alone, you know how much I hate that. Why would you do that to me?”

She got up and went to the balcony, to see if they were somehow just leaving; nothing there. Went downstairs, to see if they were still in the lobby; not there. Back to the apartment. 2:49.

Hi! You’ve reached Julia’s room. Sorry I didn’t answer! Leave a message, and I’ll call you back!

“Annndyyy, I hope you’re not gone for too long. It sucks being alone, no one is answering their phone. I hate it, I hate it so much, I don’t know what to do with myself.”

Ashley looked around; he remembered to take his cigarettes and lighter, so she didn’t have any leverage there. 2:53.

Hi! You’ve reached Julia’s room. Sorry I didn’t answer! Leave a message, and I’ll call you back!

“Maybe I do know what to do with myself. I’ll teach myself to fly; I’ll start by jumping off the balcony. Or would I need more time in the air? I’ll jump off the roof instead.”

She flipped through the channels on tv; all commercials. 2:56.

Hi! You’ve reached Julia’s room. Sorry I didn’t answer-

“Julia, you’re such an awful person. I don’t know what’s wrong with you, why you think it would be okay to take your boyfriend away from his family. This is why all the kids in school talked about you behind your back.”

2:58

Hi! You’ve reached Julia-

“I bet they all talk about you behind your back there, too. Nobody wants to be your friend, you’re too pathetic. They just talk to you out of pity.”

3:00

Hi! You’ve reached-

“I bet they all wish you were dead! Everyone does!”

3:01

Hi!-

“I sure do! Then you would leave my fucking brother alone!”

3:03

“Ashley. What do you want?” “Hey An-dy,” she felt overcome with relief. “Andrew,” he corrected. “I was so worried, I didn’t know where you were going!” “Apparently you did, because we’re talking. What do you want?” “Medicine. I’m sick.” “You’re fine.” “I have a fever. And a headache.” “Take a painkiller, we have plenty.” “If I take them all, then I’m sure I’ll feel much better!” “...” “...” “... fine. I’ll leave in an hour-” “NOW, ANDY!” She hung up, and settled back on the couch to try the TV again.

—

you won't get in trouble now.” “For murder? They don't really let that one slide, Jules.” “...” “I'm in so much pain, Julia.” “I'm here for you Andrew.” “I love you, Julia.” “I love you too.”

Ashley walked away, she couldn't take any more of this. She lay back down on the couch. Everything she had ever done she had done for them, for him. But all he wanted to do was run. If they couldn't be together, what was it all for?

She could apologize, but he wouldn't believe it. Years of thinking that Andy-no, Andrew- loved her, but he never said it. Never even acknowledged it without her first asking about it.

Yet he tells her he loves her first. He told her our secret, our bond. And he wants to leave. I'll be alone; he knows I hate that.

She heard the door open and covered her eyes with her arm so they couldn't see her tears. She heard the fridge open and close, and someone walk over. Is Andy bringing me something? She wondered.

“For when you wake up,” Julia said, placing the ginger ale on the table beside the couch. “I'm sorry we couldn't be friends.”

She heard the door close to the bedroom. She lay in silence for a while until she heard the hussy giggling again. She got up and took the ginger ale to the balcony.

She threw the ginger ale as far as she could, watched as it hit the pavement and cracked, spraying the soda everywhere. She sat down and looked out to the neighborhood, but she couldn't think. Her leg kept bouncing, she couldn't stop it, so she went inside.

She walked by her room again; she could hear faint sounds of her brother and his whore defiling her room. She looked around and found his cigarettes, grabbed them and his lighter. She almost slammed the door to the balcony, but stopped; I'll give you the peace you want.

She lit up a cigarette, finished it and lit another. They were her first, and she hated them, but it gave her something to do. After what seemed like forever, her brother came out to the balcony, with the faint smell of sex on him.

“Give me those,” he said, and grabbed the cigarettes and lighter from the table. He left without saying anything else. Ashley went to the railing and looked below. After a few minutes, she saw them leave the building; he smoked and they talked and laughed. She watched them leave as he walked her to the bus station, and saw him look up when returned. She looked at him with pleading eyes, that he might see into her heart and forgive her; but his face was blank, and he walked back inside.

I wonder if I could fly from here, or if I'd need to jump from the roof.