silvrnightingale

[silvrnightingale]

I'm gonna use it to cut open cheese packets

This post is for ladies only. If you are a guy, GET out of here.

I bestow upon you this dagger. It is an ancient dagger. Use it wisely.

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Look, just... Listen for a second, okay? Just fucking listen. When a host is asking you "How many?" when you walk in through the door, they are not asking to know how many menus you need. They are asking so that they know how big of a table to put you at. Today, I was working a host shift, and when I asked how many people were in her party, she said 6. My coworker put 6 into the system. I take them to their table. It's a 6-top table. The following convo ensued: Lady: That's not gonna be big enough. Me: You said it was only 6, right? Lady: Yes, but we also have 2 babies. Me: Oh! So it's 8. My apologies. Lady: Yes, but only 6 of us are eating. Me, fuming at this point, speaking as politely as I can because I've already dealt with enough bullshitery: Alright. Just for future reference, we need to know the total amount just so we can know how big of a table to put your party at. Lady: Ohh! Okay. Sorry about that. Like.... Is this just not common knowledge?

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People who eat mayonnaise in their mac and cheese are evil. Period.

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HOW!?!?!?

I'm glad that people are still having fun on tumblr even after we found out about the frightening ghoul that reblogs posts but doesn't say anything

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i miss boops and i crave violence

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tumblr is basically a gay bar in a mental institute

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James Gunn and Anthony Mackie make a pretty good team. The new Captain America movie was SO much better than the last few Marvel movies that came out. Dwarfs them. It gave the same vibes as the Marvel movies from before the first Avengers. It was a good story. The suspense kept building and building. AND they finally revealed what happened to (spoiler) after the Incredible Hulk. Really happy with this movie.

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They aren't wrong

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Bestie, if your landlord is kicking you out only for speaking out about them, that's a breach of contract and you need to get a lawyer.

I am so happy I live in a western democracy, if I speak out about my boss I have to find a new job if I speak out about my landlord I have to find a new home if I speak out online I will be muted or banned I can buy 40 brands of breakfast cereal all owned by three different companies if I protest in the street I will be arrested this is the best

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The seven stages of grief: Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance Revenge Regret

i could add a few more stages to grief if they let me

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He ✨FROLIC✨

He is actually a deer

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Tubbo used to be a gymnast/trampolinist/something like that. Such training would provide pretty good reflexes. My money is on Tubbo.

TUBBO VS SAPNAP IN CRETAOR CLASH WHATTT (vid)

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Anybody else got that Evergiven sized writers block

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Okay, but can we take a moment to appreciate Silverwhittlingknife's pun for a second?

HOBBES vs. TIGGER cage match TO THE DEATH say goodbye to your childhood because ONE! WILL!! DIE!!!!

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You're passing through Wonka's factory and through a doorway you see what is distinctly the body of Christ being fed into a big wacky machine

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Love seeing this