simpinghoeeee

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The alignment of your toilet.

This is a crazy story about the alignment of the toilet, now that I've added crazy, it's like I'm writing a review of my own story. But, hol up, hear me!

I think this should be talked about, the alignment of your washroom is very important, suppose it's on the terrace and whenever you go for the loo you have to make eye contact with your neighbour or whenever you come out there's another eye contact asking weird questions, what were you doing there? I noticed how much time you took, and why are you washing your hands with soap? Isn't it very embarrassing?

Damn! One can't even take a shit without being judged.

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“The world’s bits and pieces, its props, its particularity; everything unimportant would out-last him. What was he but a vantage point? A retreating observer of all that would fill the moments in time that stretched out beyond him.”

— Panenka, Ronan Hession

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““I could have asked for the full tour - you could have shown me around all your own facts and circumstances, given me the tourist board version of yourself. A whole story that I would later have to revise or unlearn based on who you turned out to be. But if I start with what you’re actually like, pick you up where I found you, then at least I'm starting with my information. I can sketch you my own way, and then colour you in over time””

— Panenka, Ronan Hession

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““I prefer to be a stranger among strangers. It gives me the superpower of invisibility””

— Panenka, Ronan Hession

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““Why can’t a woman have a deep affinity with a man, though? Perhaps even love him, and he can love her, but it doesn’t have to be romantic. Then it’s okay if you love the person. You don’t have to pretend you don’t, or hide any subterfuge about being more than friends. Why not? Isn’t there something missing if two people can’t love each other safely that was? Like the way it’s possible to love Paris without owning it, or the way we love music.””

— Panenka, Ronan Hession

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““Aren’t you afraid of falling? Letting everyone down?” Esther thought about it. “Maybe it’s important that other people learn how to handle disappointment.””

— Panenka, Ronan Hession

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““Other people’s love is frightening when you’re suffering. It’s overwhelming. When you’re consumed with the effort of processing internal pain, it becomes impossible to do anything else. It’s like holding your breath under water: you realise that you need to breathe but if you breathe at the wrong time, you drown””

— Panenka, Ronan Hession

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imagine being shiv roy. imagine never being taken seriously in your life. you’ve got this successful career ahead of you that you’ve worked your ass off for to finally separate yourself from your family name. you are no longer your relatives. you are your own person and you have all of these accomplishments to your own name, your own identity. and then your father swoops in, showering you with promises of the next big thing, as long as you leave your career behind. but you won’t need that career because you’re the next big thing! you’re gonna be top dog! you’re finally being taken seriously by the one person who refused to do so. the spotlight that so often found your siblings has finally found you. but then time passes. more and more time. more and more excuses come up about why he can’t announce you, why he isn’t ready yet, why you aren’t ready yet. and, as he scrambles for excuses and avoids naming you at an important deal, you blurt it out. it’s a stupid mistake, but an honest one. it almost feels like a weight has been lifted from your chest. but, as you watch the silent rage fill your father’s face, an even heavier weight settles in your gut. and now you know you’ve fucked up. and you spend so much time trying to rectify things. you’ve already burnt those past bridges, going back is impossible now. you need this. but it’s too late. that one sentence has cost you everything. ‘just tell them it’s going to be me.’ but did you ever really have it? or was it all for show? were you just the shiny new car that made the neighbors jealous? now imagine that, after saving the same company you were promised to lead, your father pisses it all away. despite your efforts to stop him, despite your siblings finally able to break past this mental competition, finding love where there once was hate, he still manages to win. and while you’re trying to stay calm and tell him that he needs your approval, he mocks you. he almost laughs in your face as he mimics your voice. he all but spits in your face. and then he tells you to build your own pile. the very thing you’d been doing before he’d came and smashed it all to pieces, kicking it like a sand castle. the same thing he’d ruined by forcing you to pose with a future president whose values you despised. a photo that would ostracize you from the job you once loved. you had built your own pile and your own father couldn’t stand that. he resented it. so he killed it and he killed you and your siblings. alongside your husband, who you want to love so deeply but can’t. because that wasn’t how you were raised. imagine being shiv roy.

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mother, eat me and give birth to me again. this time around i’ll make you proud.

lake mungo (2008) // blythe baird // gillian flynn // john mayer // lucy dacus // lady bird (2017) // gillian flynn // pinterest // hannibal (2013) // kyung-sook shin (trans. chi-young kim)

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when I am emperor I will demand that you put the tracking number directly in the shipment confirmation email, and if you make me go to your website and sign in before I can access any tracking info, you’re going straight into the coliseum to fight for your life

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top ten moments before disaster

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kendall roy seems like the kind of guy to accidentally say he’s bisexual at a convention and have to post a social media apology coming out as straight

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“Just because the sharpness of the sadness has faded does not mean that it was not, once, terrible. It means only that time and space, creatures of infinite girth and tenderness, have stepped between the two of you, and they are keeping you safe as they were once unable to.”

— Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House

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“(…) people kiss and hold hands and fall in love and fuck and laugh and cry and hurt others and nurse broken hearts and start wars and pull sleeping children out of car seats and shout at each other. If you could harness that energy—that constant, roving hunger—you could do wonders with it. You could push the earth inch by inch through the cosmos until it collided heart-first with the sun.”

— In the Dream House, Carmen Maria Machado

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Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House

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sally rooney books are good because they represent the feminine urge to keep making the same mistakes time and time again. just keep touching that hot stove

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“In my friend, I find a second self.”

c.s. lewis / my best friend by the coral / @slugspoon (alivia horsley) / @billypotts / hanya yanagihara / ‘after party ll’ salman toor / the kids aren’t alright by fall out boy / a summer’s tale / lorde / hanya yanagihara / abed and troy (community) with a winnie the pooh quote @weelezzer / isabel norton