simpleeshea

[simpleeshea]

Dishes

Doing the dishes is fine if I get the sudden urge.

Doing the dishes is even fine if you ask me too.

Doing the dishes is fine even if you ask me everyday, but it gets tiring

Doing the dishes if you ask me too while I’m upset will make me feel worse, but I’ll still do it.

Doing the dishes is okay.

I do the dishes because I love you.

[simpleeshea]

Orange

I asked you to peel my oranges

You responded with maybe later

But then you threw all the oranges away.

[simpleeshea]

Rot.

It’s feels like a rotting in my head, like a basket of fresh strawberries but at the bottom of the basket the red has turned to mold and it’s starting to smell. The mold is spreading and seeping onto the fresher strawberries. If it keeps up for much longer the fruit at the top will also be covered in rot.

[simpleeshea]

Tw

Why did I go and try to figure it all out

My mental state is too shit right now to be hearing that kids went so far after all of this situation.

This whole thing is honestly so horrible regardless of who’s innocent and who’s not.

[simpleeshea]

Tw!

Wait??? Are people trying to prove that Wilbur didn’t hurt Shelby???

I’m not like putting down an opinion because I’m all for believing victims but I am just severely undereducated on everything that has been happening.

Does anyone know?

[simpleeshea]

Floor again.

I’m on the floor again.

Hitting the ground doesn’t bring me any comfort but it’s better than standing on my two feet and facing the day

What’s the reason in pushing my weight up?

I can’t find a reason to hold all of this weight up.

People say to let it all go

But as I just begin let it all go I feel an emptiness crawl inside of me.

He’s festering inside the walls of my body

I can’t escape it.

He’s crawling inside my skin

I’m on the floor again.

The moment I am alone my body hits the carpeted ground and I am left alone with the silent torture of my thoughts.

They eat me up inside.

They team up with him.

It’s a coup to slowly destroy myself from the inside.

All parts of me working against the small part that still wants to keep going.

I’m on the floor again.

Will I ever find it in me to pick myself up?

[simpleeshea]

O’ Angel of death

Tw: idealization of death and harming oneself

Im staring at my ceiling fan like its an eight winged angel here to save me

Each bulb

Each blade

She’s smiling, reaching out and calling my name

But the whispers are far too pretty

Is she the angel or the devil calling out to me

“Take my hand,” she whispers

“You will feel warm.”

I reach my hand out, yearning for the embrace of the death angel who tugs on my rope

She grins as I dream of tying to her wings and dangling far above

“You can do it,” she reassures softly just as a mother would.

I stare at her beautiful wings for a moment longer before turning my head.

She is not real. She is in my head and she will not save me. Oh beautiful ceiling fan, Oh angel of death. Your call will not be answered today.

[simpleeshea]

Update on Alex Kister situation:

callout doc was bs. OP used transphobic and ableist rhetoric constantly a most of the doc was relationship drama. Kister has responded and taken accountability for the stuff they DID do wrong (forging close relationships with fans— no predation intended but still a bad idea, and traumadumping on their adult partner and a minor). The manipulation/predatory behavior stuff was nonsense though. I’m still taking a break from their content because what they did wrong is a no no!! but I do not support ven/DB/the rest 👍

Well I’m glad the truth on it all came out. There were definitely wrong things done here and I completely understand the brake. Take care of yourselfffff

[simpleeshea]

So for those of you who don’t know… I LOVE SHARKS! Okay.

I’m talking to my mom about being sad about my break up and she’s just like

“Honey… he’s a minnow. You’ll find yourself a beautiful lemon shark one day”

I melted. She’s a very wonderful woman.

[simpleeshea]

!Announcement!

On the clock! will continue. Here is the announcement from the end of my most recently published chapter:

"This chapter is purposefully just focusing on Y/n. I do not support Wilbur or his actions and from here on out I do not want to associate Character Wilbur from the Dream Smp with Wilbur Soot the content creator. I will be attempting to finish this story as best as I can just because so much effort has been already put forth into this.

HOWEVER

This is not about me. This will never be about me.

I'm simply finishing it for those who want C!Wilbur to have a complete ending.

Feel free to unfollow or block me, I would totally understand if this blog page is upsetting to you due to the continuation of this story. I want everyone to feel comfortable and stay safe.

I love you guys."

As stated I will fully understand if you feel the need to block or unfollow me.

After On the Clock! is finished I do intend on making new content. I can't say for certain what all that will be based around but I will most likely not be focused on any C!Wilbur content seeing as I've drifted from the fandom anyways.

[simpleeshea]

On the Clock!

C!Wilbur x GN! Reader

<Previous Chapter Next Chapter>

Chapter 9.

Alone.

"Mom..."

"Mom?"

.......

"Mom??"

"What!" she snapped. The small child reared back in fear, afraid of their mother when she was angry.

"Can-" the child's voice shook, they didn't know why. Their mother had never truly done anything to warrant the fear in their voice... but it was present nonetheless. This time with a bit more composure, they ask, "Can I go outside and play with my friends?"

Their mother looks at them, staring deep into their innocent eyes with a word the small kid couldn't quite put into words. The mother sighs, "Why would you want to go outside with them?" she takes a drag from her cigarette and blows the smoke out toward her child, "Those children aren't like you."

The child coughed out the noxious air and looked up at their mother, perplexed by what she could have meant by that.

"They're filthy," she put it quite plainly. "We won't be living here for long anyways. Best not to get attached... to anyone." She took another long inhale of smoke like it was an obnoxious obligation that she knew she couldn't stand to live without acting on. "Attachments are why the world is so incompetent. It would be simpler if everyone thought rationally and without feelings, or love."

The small child blinked up, trying to hold their breath around the horrid smoke that they hated so fiercely. "What about Daddy?" their voice weak as they spoke out, "Don't you love him?"

The mother laughed coldly. "Of course I don't honey."

A strange feeling muddled itself in the kid's body. It felt like they couldn't quite breathe in the air around them.

"It was just a logical engagement. We were both beneficial toward each other's goals."

"Or maybe you were both drunk and had sex." An older woman with bright white hair walked into the kitchen room.

"You know that's not what happened, Mom," the child's mother said to the older gray woman.

"Oh really?" An argument began to play out and the small child slipped away, not wanting to hear any more yelling today than necessary.

They walked solemnly but with quickened steps toward their room before plopping on their bed and staring blankly at the boring ceiling. Off-white. The ceiling was off-white, something their mother hated and had yelled at their father for on many occasions. She wanted it plain white. She wanted it "perfect," or whatever perfect meant to her standards. She had high standards for every aspect of not only her life but the lives of her child and spouse as well. It was quite plainly, "FUCKING EXHAUSTING!" the child punched the wall as they yelled, knowing that nobody would notice and if they had, they wouldn't care enough to come to check what had happened.

A sudden noise shook the child from their blank and frustrated stare.

Jolting up they sat up from the bed looking toward the source of the noise. A figure stood at the window. It was another child, blond, with big brown eyes, and a cheeky smile.

With a confused look, the child stood up from the bed and went to the window, opening it. The boy outside offered up a grin before saying, "I just moved in here and my mom sent me out to find friends." He looked to be about ten, just two years older than the child inside the room.

The child inside the room looked at the boy with furrowed brows and perplexedly pursed lips. "So you knocked on a stranger's window?"

"I-" he went to defend himself but laughed instead. "I guess I'm not the brightest," he giggled. The child wasn't certain why but they felt some sort of heat rise in their chest, but it wasn't anger like they found to be often boiling up inside. No. It was something different, something they couldn't quite pin down. "Anyways..." he drawled out, "Want to come play with me? We've got this cool new swingset my Dad just put up!"

The child felt anger rise back up, "No," they said coldly. They didn't know why they were angry, it was just second nature. Snapping at everyone around them was all they truly knew how to do, after all, it was exactly what their parents had done to them.

"But," the boy stuttered, "PLEASEEEE!" he begged.

The child's eye twitched irritably.

"PLEASEEEEEEEE" He continued and something told the child that he would not give up until his demands were met.

"Fine," they huffed.

"YAY!"

"Now, back up so I can climb out of the window."

The boy looked confused, "Why not just meet me out by your front door?"

The kid hesitated vocally as half of their leg was already hanging outside of the window. "Because it's just easier this way," they said, not caring to explain that their mother had already said no to them leaving the house.

"Oh," he said plainly, "That makes sense," he beamed before scooping up the other child's hand. "C'mon! My house is just across the street!" The kid flinched at his hold but went along with it anyway. "I'm Easton! What's your name?" he asked as they sprinted hand-in-hand.

"Y/n."

---

Abruptly I woke up. Sweat was drenching my entire body as it shook violently. As I took a few breaths and calmed myself, I shook my head. "I guess even then you always got what you wanted, Easton. I looked at his hoodie discarded on the floor having previously been worn by Wilbur, and what seemed like a lifetime ago myself.

A/n

This chapter is purposefully just focusing on Y/n. I do not support Wilbur or his actions and from here on out I do not want to associate Character Wilbur from the Dream Smp with Wilbur Soot the content creator. I will be attempting to finish this story as best as I can just because so much effort has been already put forth into this.

HOWEVER

This is not about me. This will never be about me.

I'm simply finishing it for those who want C!Wilbur to have a complete ending.

Feel free to unfollow or block me, I would totally understand if this blog page is upsetting to you due to the continuation of this story. I want everyone to feel comfortable and stay safe.

I love you guys.

[simpleeshea]

HOORAY!! I think I fixed all of my hyperlinks for everything but if you happen to notice anything wonky then please let me know. Thanks!

[simpleeshea]

I was only a three month free trial

You just wanted a taste of me

I was just a three month free trial

You didn’t want to pay me a return of your affection

I was just a three month free trial

You kissed me like you wanted to sample my lips but as you drew back you seemed to think to yourself that I wasn’t worth paying for

I was just a three month free trial

You canceled on me before I expired in love for you

You couldn’t even love me for three months.

(So ya girl got broken up with)

[simpleeshea]

So I got back into the Mandela catalogue when the Shubble situation happened as a backup hyperfixation and guess whatttt

Yesterday allegations about the creator came out forth

so

Wait what I’m so lost I haven’t been on Twitter or really active in the fandom what happened

[simpleeshea]

On the clock! Was useful to me. I had an assignment for one of my classes on narrative writing and so I just stole my own work and rewrote it✌️

Also I’ve been debating on finishing writing it and not associating it with the actual cc! Like mentioned in my previous posts I stand by Shelby

[simpleeshea]

It’s hard to separate c!wilbur from the cc, especially with how the cc’s actions completely contradict c!wilbur’s whole arc. It’s.. it fucking hurts, but c!wilbur is ours, as are the messages he sent us.

lots of people I know are taking a break from writing c!wilbur. Fanmade Wilbur variations (like siren) are a little easier. im also taking a bit of a break, but trying to write something short on Revbur since I’ve noticed that reading c!wilbur works is a good way to separate c and cc in my brain, which then helps me write him without feeling nauseous. So I hope to help someone that way :)

however the one shot I have in the works (which has been written since. Over a year I think. I just never proofread it) deals with looking past someone’s actions and giving them a second chance—- which is NOT what people want associated with Wilbur rn, c! or not.

So wait I shall.

Definitely. I think a break is good for now. I’ve got a lot of stuff going on in actual life too. I’ll probably continue writing after a while and just take the character separated from the cc! However I definitely do not support his actions and do not want to make cc! Wilbur seem like his actions are excusable. Take care of yourself and thank you for your insight! It’s greatly appreciated

[simpleeshea]

Oh :(

im sad that there will be no more on the clock, it was such a good rep of post-ending revivebur. I understand where you’re coming from though.

Yeah I could see maybe writing more on it but it would definitely be a while. I see a lot of writers are separating his character from the person. Just definitely not at this moment. I’ll try to work on some other projects for a bit though so if you have any suggestions feel free to send them in even if they are just one shots or whatever. Love you guys