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I have so much to be grateful for. I have so much to be happy for. I have amazing friends, a great work place, loving family, and so many things to do outside work. I have the ability to travel, and will do so in less than two weeks. I have so much I am grateful for. But I am feeling nervous. What if I never get over this heartbreak? What if I never feel ever again? Smiling and laughing with friends is easy. But my heart has not felt warm or alive for a long time.
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Research and planning = love and respect
If "Gabriel and the Mountain" (really good movie, btw) speaks to me about anything, it is how the level of research/planning of one's travels - especially in foreign countries - equates to the level of love and respect one is willing to give to that particular country. Many tend to associate attitudes of care-free spiritedness and "go with the flow" with proper immersions in cultures and "real travelling". But this can be just carelessness and a lack of interest in actually understanding people and cultures. Impatience, self-entitlement, white-privilege, and basically a know-it-all attitude leaves no room for love or respect of the natural landscapes or people.
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Sometimes I feel safest fitting into narratives I don't like fitting into.
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Ab koi aye chala jaye main khush rehta hoon, Ab kisi shakhss ki aadat nahin hoti mujh ko. Aesa badla hoon tere shehr ka paani pee kar, Jhoot boloon to nadamat nahin hoti mujh ko.
Mohsin Naqvi (via urduandstuff)
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I'm in love with this place. But I also hate it.
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