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Okay, I love the word “rapscallion,” and every time I see it I think about a story where one character is a chef who worked through the ranks and learned hands on day to day rather than going to a culinary school or through an apprenticeship, who raps on the side as “Rap Scallion” and works on rhymes and beats while cooking and takes hints from the sounds of the kitchen—the hiss and sizzle and crackles—and the beatboxer is also in the kitchen and uses the kitchen sounds—pots banging, pressure cookers whistling, timers beeping. 

The opposing character is a trained chef (apprenticeship/culinary school), with a more refined, “classical” approach, some changes to renowned dishes but nothing earth-shaking. Recites lyrics or poetry while cooking/sending each dish? Dishes connected to a poem/memory, chef is considered “The Empath”? The menu changes daily and the diners must accept the dishes that express how the chef feels that night.

The chefs meet (competition, networking, run into each other at a different bar or a food truck? If a food truck, Chef A overhears Chef B giving constructive criticism on the food, takes offense for the “little guy/gal/non-binary pal” who is just leaning at the window and listening/taking notes (because hey, free advice! Who would be dumb enough to turn down good ideas??) and Chef A goes OFF.

Chef B holds up a hand and says, “ I’m a (CIA/Cordon Bleu/etc.) trained chef with my own restaurant and I run my kitchen. I offered my thoughts to (the owner of the food truck), and we were having a great conversation. What are you bringing into this, other than your need to be the center of attention?”

And then the whole situation turns into a rap battle because Chef A is “Rap Scallion.”

Chef B would have to have an even worse seafood-related name. Probably they came up with it on the fly and Chef B is so embarrassed because it’s AWFUL.

Ok, so this is basically 8 Mile mashed up with Cook Up a Storm.

Good to know.

My brain gives me some WEIRD ideas.

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Y’ALL. We have one of those cling film covers in our bathroom window for privacy and in the afternoon when the sun hits it just right, it makes rainbows, right? And today my wife sends me the best pic she’s ever taken:

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(via)

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Beautiful 😍

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Somehow, my cat always knows when I’m looking at/reading about other cats, and she will come find me (if she isn’t already attached to my leg/arm/back), and whine for attention until I give precisely as much love as she wants, then bite shit out of my hand.

Every time.

Watching cat vids on YouTube with noise-cancelling headphones? Mya will come down from her perch on top of the kitchen cabinets and crawl up to my chest, completely cover my iPad, and whine. Listening to an audiobook as I clean my apartment? When “Galahad” is mentioned, she starts ribboning around my ankles and crying (Galahad is a cat in a favorite series).

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Artist Shares Powerful Portrait Series On #BeingBlackAndMuslim

Hopefully, we can break some negative stereotypes.

Being black in America is not easy, being Black and Muslim is even tougher.

Support artist here

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This is utterly stunning.

Artist Spends 3 Years Hand-Painting the Quran in Gold on 164 Feet of Black Silk

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This is so adorable. The first time that baby laughed, my day went from -20 to +89.

I do not know this baby but I love this baby.

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From experience of drinking for 12 hours straight at the beach, you THINK you have awesome hair, but honestly it looks like a pile of dried seaweed and straw.

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I wonder if the reason he creates the threatening atmosphere so much more than the other three is that, as he’s yelling, he’s moving toward the other sympathetic characters and the audience—and not in any horror-movie generic “this should creep you out” way, but as a “normal” teen that everyone witnessing knows and trusts, and so a major part of the fear becomes, “what is he going to do, he’s so different and I’m out of my depth?”

The other three appear (at least in the GIFs) to be stationery and reacting, where Stiles-as-Nogitsune is actively moving and presenting as a greater threat if only by the fact that he’s mobile. Also shouting one of the most terrifying lines in the show.

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A double-blooming lilac (spring/fall), two hibiscus, a blackberry bush, and the bitchiest ficus I have EVER met

You ever just be browsing online and then whoops just ordered 2 bayberry plants and a currant bush

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Woodsign fanfic app on the App Store

Lots of people have been pinging me in posts about this company and their various apps (pictured above). I don’t own any Apple products, so I haven’t been able to see these apps myself, but my understanding is that they pull data from AO3 and present it in the app, sometimes for a fee. 

If you’re wondering whether your own stories are being hosted on these apps, you’ll need to either check for yourself or find a friend who can check for you.

I emailed AO3 Support about the subject, and here’s what I got in response:

Thanks for asking about this app. We checked with the OTW Legal team and our coders, and have some information to pass on. “The OTW does not own the works posted on the Archive – they are all owned by their respective authors. 

For that reason, although the OTW can (and does) rely on trademark law to make sure that people don’t make confusing apps that would make people think the OTW or AO3 is associated with them, there’s nothing we can do about apps or services that contain works owned by AO3 users.  That is up to the authors themselves, who own the copyrights in their fanworks. 

“Many sites have procedures (known as DMCA takedown procedures) that allow copyright owners such as fan-authors to request that their works be removed. The Fanfic Pocket Archive Library may have such procedures.   Regardless of whether those procedures exist, copyright owners can always demand that their works be removed from places they are not authorized, and as a matter of copyright law, sites should comply with such demands.

“The Apple App store also has procedures for reporting apps that infringe copyright:  https://www.apple.com/legal/internet-services/itunes/appstorenotices/#?lang=en 

“The Google Play store has similar: https://support.google.com/legal/troubleshooter/1114905 

“To be clear, to the best of our knowledge, the app is not wholesale scraping and storing data - they’re displaying content from the Archive in a very heavily modified format. Because the app’s subscription fee can be explained as “to support the app’s code base” and not for the content itself, it is within legal bounds. Our only suggestions are for the creators of the works to issue DCMA takedowns to the app developer, and to the appropriate app store if they find the developer response unsatisfactory.

tldr; There’s nothing that AO3 can do in this situation. It’s up to individual authors to report the copyright infringement to protect their own work. Start with the app itself and then go to the app store if they don’t do as you requested. 

If you could signal boost this post, I’m sure AO3 Support would appreciate it. I can only imagine how many emails they’re getting about this right now. 

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Hey Joy, do you have any advice for attempting to file a DMCA against those apps if complaining and reporting them fail to do anything? I know a DMCA might not actually do anything either if they're not actually rehosting the works themselves, but... Possibly worth a shot as a last resort?

I’m trying to find a guide that isn’t overly complicated. @christinaroseandrews, if you’ve got the spoons do you have any good resource links for this? I know you had to do it for our anthology when it went up on a pirate site.

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Rewatching the Witcher

Episode 4

So there’s the “tell your glory” bit

And Jaskier getting cornered, verbally unmanned but getting coin for it (we all see him starting a new venture with him as the eunuch who can comfort wives and such, yeah?)

And Calanthe being the hardest of hard cases

Geralt gives 0 shits, would 1000/10 rather be out fighting a monster and not dealing with stupid politics.

Ciri and Dara and their weird sentient forest snore fest, they weren’t going to die because Ciri needs someone who knows what the hell is up with the world outside of her castle in capital.

The banquet and all that weirdness, Calanthe being a complete bigot, Pavetta being a doormat despite her ability to throw an entire hall around with a scream and chant Elder (Elven) spells, finding out she’s pregnant, and then.

Geralt’s soft but utterly heartfelt, “Fuck,” when Pavetta pukes (curiously prescient for the situation, with no other signs of pregnancy beforehand, but hey, it’s TV) and his well-intentioned Law of Surprise claim bites him on the ass less than 30 seconds after he named it.

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Mya says hi, y’all. She wishes you the best day (don’t believe the RBF) and blesses you with a view of her paw.