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sir-thisisadndserver · 3 hours ago

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Old Man Logan and Nurse!Reader - it’s the hope that kills you

I promise that this story will have a happy ending…..

Thank you to everyone who has been reading this - @lareinedulune and @tezooks, your comments are always so wonderful ❤️❤️❤️

Warnings: just angst. I made myself cry writing bits of this so yay for that.

Also please excuse my employment of Fan Fic Science in this. I have zero clue if what Richardson is talking about would even work or if canon!Logan could actually be helped in such a way…

***

Logan was sick. For the first time he could remember he had caught a fucking cold. He sat at the kitchen table his head bowed over a bowl full of hot water and menthol, a towel draped over his head, inhaling the pungent odour deeply.

‘How the fuck do you cope with this?’ He said, his voice muffled.

You rubbed his back in sympathy.

‘It’s not so bad,’ you tried to soothe, ‘it shouldn’t last more than a few days.’

You squeezed his shoulder, then thought…

‘Have you been vaccinated?’

Logan emerged from beneath the towel.

‘Against what?’ He coughed

‘Well…anything?’

He shook his head.

‘Never needed to be.’

‘Hmmm,’ you sat thinking, ‘maybe we should think about it.’

Logan blew his nose and deposited the tissue in the waste bin

‘Just kill me now,’ he moaned.

The door opened and in trundled Charles with Laura perched on the arm of his wheelchair. You wished she wouldn’t as she’d fallen off multiple times. It sometimes took you a moment to remember that she would heal almost instantly from any bump or bruise. You didn’t want Charles to get too close though. He was becoming increasingly frail and getting sick, even a cold, wouldn’t be good for him.

‘Laura has something for you,’ he said as he stopped several feet away. Laura looked at him and he nodded. She jumped down from her perch and ran over to her father, holding out a piece of folded paper.

‘For you dada,’ she said, wiggling her way up and onto his lap. Logan moved back to make room for her and took the paper from her. The front was covered in colourful flowers and animals and inside, in Charles’ now spidery scrawl and Laura’s equally spidery scribble, it said ‘get well soon daddy’

Logan smiled and hugged Laura close, planting a kiss on the top of her head.

‘Thank you baby, that makes me feel better already.’

She smiled and snuggled against his chest.

‘I think it’s time for someone’s nap,’ you said, noting how she was rubbing her eyes.

‘Not sleepy,’ Laura said, yawning.

Logan chuckled.

‘Come on, princess,’ he said easing himself up and settling Laura against him. You watched as he took her to her room. When he hadn’t come back after a while, you went to the door and pushed it ajar. Laura was tucked up in bed and Logan was sitting in the rocking chair in the corner, head back, fast asleep too. You tiptoed over to him and gave him a soft kiss on the forehead, still a little feverish, and pulled a blanket over his legs. He sniffled a little but didn’t wake.

Back in the kitchen you pottered around, tidying things that didn’t need tidying. Charles watched you as you moved about.

‘He’s happier than he’s ever been you know,’ he said after a while.

You paused in your cleaning.

‘I know.’

‘Don’t you think you should…’

‘Don’t tell me what I should be doing, Charles!’ you snapped. You took a breath and then, ‘I’m sorry.’

Charles just raised a hand.

‘Of course, my dear. It just grieves me to see you boing through this.’

You didn’t reply, just continued wiping down the table that didn’t need wiping.

‘Hard to believe Laura will be three soon,’ Charles said, realising a change of subject was in order.

You smiled and glanced over at her bedroom door.

‘Are you going to have a party for her?’

‘Oh I don’t know. Maybe just with my sister and her cousins.’

‘I do enjoy a party,’ Charles said wistfully.

‘You enjoy birthday cake,’ you smiled.

Charles nodded in agreement.

You heard a cough and then Logan emerged from Laura’s room, limping out into the main living area.

‘How long was I out?’ He asked.

‘About an hour,’ you said, ‘I thought I’d let you get some rest.’

Logan slipped an arm around your waist and kissed your hair.

‘Thank you.’

‘Hungry?’

Logan nodded

‘A little.’

‘I’ll get you some soup. Do you want some Charles?’

Charles wheeled himself up to the table.

‘Is it the spicy one?’

‘It is,’ you smiled

‘Oh then no. It’s lovely but I doubt any of you want to hear my flatulence all afternoon.’

Logan raised an eyebrow.

‘We do not.’

You laughed.

‘I’ll get you something else. Something less…farty.’

The three of you ate in companionable silence until you heard the creak of Laura’s door opening and her little form, rubbing her eyes and with her now slightly ragged stuffed wolverine tucked under her arm, came tottering out. She ran over to Logan and climbed on to his lap, throwing her arms around his neck.

‘I dream about you dada,’ she said.

Logan’s hand looked huge on her small back.

‘Is that so?’ He smiled, ‘was it a good dream?’ God he hoped so.

He felt her nod.

‘Yes we had an adventure!’

‘Did we? What did we do?’

You sat and listened to your little girl describing all the amazing adventures she and her father were having. You knew that they were the stories Logan had been making up for her for months now, just repeated back but he looked enraptured. Tears pricked at your eyes again and you stood, starting to clear away the dirty plates. Charles watched you as you moved about the kitchen.

‘It’s grief,’ you heard him say except he never said it. You gasped and almost dropped a plate in the sink.

‘You okay?’ Logan asked.

You turned, the best smile you could muster plastered on your face.

‘Yeah just caught my finger on a knife.’

Logan nodded and turned his attention back to Laura and her ever more elaborate story. You looked at Charles. He smiled sadly at you and you felt your lip wobble again.

‘It hurts,’ he said, ‘it will always hurt. But please, for your own sake, just try to enjoy what time you have left. Stop trying to chase something you can’t possibly catch. He’s accepted it. Maybe you need to.’

You screwed your eyes up and fought to keep your tears under control.

‘I can’t’ Charles heard eventually, ‘I can’t give up hope.’

‘It’s the hope that kills you’ he said and started to wheel himself back to his water tank.

****

You lay in bed that night, wide awake, listening to Logan’s still congested snoring. The smell of menthol rub filled the air. You’d rubbed it on Logan’s chest and back before bed, the action taking a turn when you playfully pinched at his nipple. You squealed as he caught you around the waist and flipped you onto your back, looming above you, a devilish grin playing on his lips, a glint in his eye…until a fit of coughing upended his plans and he fell back into the bed.

‘Maybe later,’ he wheezed.

You kissed him.

‘You owe me,’ you said.

You knew you shouldn’t but you lay scrolling on your phone, the light of the screen the only light in the room. You’d exhausted every site you’d found that might have helped with the metal poisoning - none of them had any information that could help with adamantium poisoning to your complete lack of surprise. So now you were looking at the more…esoteric sites. They were even less likely to hold any useful information but still you persisted.

You felt the bed move and creak as Logan stirred. You looked over as he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

‘Gotta piss,’ he mumbled.

You watched as he stumbled to the door, giving his backside an absent minded scratch. A light flipped on in the bathroom and you heard the sound of Logan peeing. It was all so reassuringly, boringly normal.

As you waited for Logan to return, your phone gave a small ping. You had a text. Opening it you saw it was from Doctor Richardson:

‘Might have had a breakthrough!! Can you and Logan come and see me tomorrow? Is 2pm good for you?’

You sat up. A breakthrough. You were shaking when Logan came back into the room.

‘I just got a message from Richardson,’ you said holding your phone out to him.

He picked his glasses up from the bedside table and put them on. He read the message and handed the phone back to you before getting back into bed. You stared at him.

‘Well??’

‘Well what? We can go see him, see what he’s found,’ he shrugged.

You glared at Logan and sent a reply

‘Great news! We will be there!’

Putting your phone down on your bedside table you turned to Logan, already on his back and fast asleep again. You put your head on his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat as it lulled you to sleep.

*****

You both sat in Richardson’s office. You squeezed Logan’s hand. You couldn’t help but feel excited. This was the first bit of good news you’d had about Logan’s situation. The door opened and Richardson bounded in.

‘You seem cheerful,’ you said

He grinned.

‘With good reason. I really do think we might have found a solution.’

You leant forward in your chair, desperate to know what. Logan stayed still. Quiet.

‘You know we took some of Laura’s blood, just to see how her mutation manifested, and if we needed to start the usual childhood vaccines, all that stuff. Well…I was talking to a friend of mine - sympathetic to mutants, I think he had an uncle back in the day who could teleport - about Logan’s situation and he asked if he could have some of the blood samples we’d taken. From both Logan and Laura.’

‘What for?’

‘He was curious to see what would happen if Laura’s healthy blood was introduced to Logan’s, how the cells would react, if her healing ability, being so much younger and unaffected, would be able to fight against the poison in Logan’s’

‘And?’

He smiled and turned his laptop around for you to see.

‘And it did!’ He pointed to the slides as they showed how Laura’s blood was introduced and it began to fight back against the adamantium poisoning.

‘At the end, Logan’s blood sample had been taken over almost entirely with healthy new cells.’

‘So what does this mean?’ You asked. Logan, you noted, still hadn’t said a word.

‘Well…we’d have to do some more studies, see if the new cells would continue to regenerate but we are hopeful that…we could possibly put Logan’s poisoning and declining healing into reverse.’

‘By using my daughter.’

Logan’s voice was low, almost a growl. You both looked at him. Richardson smiled a little.

‘It would be as simple as a blood transfusion,’ he said.

You looked over at Logan and squeezed his hand.

‘This is wonderful news!’

Logan didn’t look at you. Didn’t look at Richardson. Just stared ahead.

‘No,’ he said eventually.

‘Logan…’

‘Absolutely fucking not,’ he ground out.

‘But if it helps..’

You never got a chance to finish as Logan stormed out of the office, the door crashing against the wall in his haste to leave. Richardson looked at you.

‘Do you want me to..?’

‘No. No I’ll go. I’ll be fine.’

You followed Logan. By the time you caught up with him he was at his truck, hands braced on the roof, clearly still furious but trying to calm himself down before attempting to get behind the wheel. You stood several feet away.

‘Logan,’ you said, ‘what’s wrong?? I don’t know why you’re so angry’

He thumped the roof of the truck and you jumped.

‘Don’t. Don’t tell me you don’t know why i’m angry. Not about this,’ he seethed through gritted teeth.

‘He’s only trying to help you.’

Logan closed his eyes and you could see him trying not to explode.

‘Not like this. Not. This.’

After a long moment he turned to look at you, leaning back against the truck. He was crying.

‘After everything…’ his voice cracked, ‘after everything that happened to me you think I would want anyone experimenting on my daughter? The one thing I could give her was a life where she wasn’t just a fucking lab rat!’

Never once while Richardson was talking had you ever considered how this looked to Logan. You’d been so thrilled that Richardson had come up with something that could help you never even stopped to think about him at all. You went to him and tried to pull him into an embrace, but he shook you off.

‘Logan I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.’

Logan said nothing but simply turned and walked off.

You stood in the car park as you watched his retreating form stalking away.

‘I’m sorry,’ you turned to see Richardson standing behind you, ‘I got so caught up in what we’d discovered I never stopped to think…’

You shrugged.

‘I didn’t either’

‘You okay?’

You looked at him.

‘No….’

Richardson put his arm around your shoulder and gave you a quick hug.

‘Come on, let me take you home.’

You drove home in silence. Laura was staying with your sister, having a sleep over with her cousins and for once you were glad she wasn’t going to be around. Richardson checked that you were okay and then went, at your insistence, to go and visit with Charles. You headed inside, noting that Logan’s truck wasn’t there. You checked your phone but you had not replies to your messages. You thought about sending Caliban out to look for him but you had no idea where to start. You just hoped that he was not in a bar somewhere. You weren’t worried about the drinking so much as if some drunken idiot tried to start something. You weren’t sure Logan would be able to hold himself back. He needed to take his anger out on someone.

After you assured Richardson you’d be okay, you paced. You tried messaging and calling Logan again to no avail. When your phone did ring, it was your sister.

‘Logan’s here,’ she said.

You were halfway to your car before she’d even finished talking.

‘Is he okay? What’s he doing there?’

‘He’s fine. The kids are making him watch a film.’

You half laughed, half sobbed.

‘What happened?’

You sighed. Your sister knew about Logan being a mutant - and Laura - but you’d not been entirely honest with her about what else was going on. You dropped into the driver’s seat of your car and told her everything. When you were done, she was quiet.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘I don’t know?’

She was quiet again.

‘Don’t worry about driving over tonight,’ she said eventually, ‘Logan’s fine, Laura is happy with him…He can sleep here and you can both talk tomorrow when you’ve had a good night’s rest.’

You didn’t want to agree but you knew it made sense.

It had been a long time since you’d slept alone. The bed felt huge and cold. And you couldn’t even go and get Laura and tuck her into the other side. Unable to sleep you pulled one of Logan’s cardigans around you and walked outside to the water tank. Charles was still awake.

‘Come and sit,’ he said waving you over.

You pulled up a chair next to his bed and put your feet up underneath you. You sat in silence for a while.

‘Callum told me what his friend had discovered. About the blood.’

‘Doesn’t matter now.’

‘I can see why Logan has…reservations,’ Charles said, then ‘he doesn’t hate you, you know.’

‘Doesn’t he?’

‘No. He’s just scared.’

A long beat of silence.

‘I know’

‘’Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break’’ he looked at you, ‘talk to him.’

‘We talk all the time,’ you shrugged.

‘You do. But do you actually say anything except what the other wants to hear? Have an uncomfortable conversation with him.’

You rested your head on the back of the chair.

‘I’m afraid he will hate me.’

Charles smiled.

‘Impossible. Logan….I’ve never seen him so deeply, irrevocably in love with anyone. And I know you feel the same.’

You looked at Charles.

‘So you know why I can’t lose him,’ you whispered.

‘I do. But you forget that Logan is not like other men. Even if he does not seem to be exceptional, day to day, he is. And people, men who are not exceptional, have sought to use that against him, against the world. A world he would burn down to stop that happening to Laura.’

Charles was quiet for a while.

‘Or his new child,’ he said, softly.

You sat up quickly to ask him what the hell he was talking about but Charles had fallen asleep.

****

The next morning you walked into your sister’s house, chaotic but warm and inviting. She gave you a hug as you came into the kitchen.

‘Where are they?’ You asked.

She nodded to the back door. There was a covered porch out there and a few chairs. You opened the door and spotted Logan sitting at the far end. Laura was curled up against his chest, her thumb in her mouth, hovering between awake and sleep. You could hear something and it took you a while to realise it was Logan singing. Low, not quite in tune but close enough. His cheek was resting on the top of Laura’s head and he rocked the chair back and forward with his foot.

‘You are my sunshine,’ you heard him sing, ‘my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey…’

He looked up and saw you. You smiled weakly and waved.

‘Don’t stop,’ you said.

He continued to hum into her hair.

‘Hello mama,’ Laura smiled, opening her eyes fully at the sound of your voice

‘Hi baby,’ you said, cautiously approaching,’ did you have fun with everyone?’

She nodded against Logan.

‘Hey, why don’t you go inside and see what’s for breakfast while daddy and I have a quick chat?’

Laura hopped down and ran inside. Logan stood up.

‘You look tired,’ he said.

‘Yeah didn’t sleep so well last night.’

‘Me neither.’