sirsparklepants

[sirsparklepants]

[sirsparklepants]

“as wide as she is tall, with tits to match” oh that’s clearly just someone’s fetish, nobody normal would consider that art—

Huh. Would you look at that?

[sirsparklepants]

The EP–1320 Medieval is, amazingly, a real gadget being sold by Teenage Engineering — it’s a “beat machine” (or “instrumentalis electronicum”) loaded with a bunch of musical phrases & instruments from the Dark Ages. “This is ludicrous and I love it.”

[sirsparklepants]

That’s what friends do. They come back.

[sirsparklepants]

Listen, friends, you have to understand that I defend people you hate.

It’s all well and good to hear that I defend children by speaking to them like humans. It may be less easy to hear that my child clients aren’t just accused of shoplifting or shoving their parents, but of sexual abuse of siblings, breaking into stores to rob them, crashing cars with their friends inside, threatening school shootings.

I represent sex offenders. I’ll defend a sex offender’s rights in the same breath as the rights of their victim.

I can talk about abuse with authority not just because I’ve read books but because I’ve represented abusers for years upon years, and watched them come back to court for crimes against the same victims.

I believe in the inherent value of human life no matter what horrible things that human life has done. I’m a pacifist and I disavow violence in all forms but I’ll make excuses for it all day in a courtroom.

I’ve put my money where my mouth is; I defend the “worst” of humanity because I can see with my two human eyes that it’s the only way to preserve the freedom of the “best” of humanity.

My job isn’t just being kind to the innocent. It’s being kind to them AND the worst people you’ve ever met, over and over and over, every day. Most people go their lives not really gazing regularly into the abyss. Public defenders be like, “hey, abyssal horrors beyond imagination, how’s Tuesday going.”

[sirsparklepants]

I like to collect headlines that read like a time traveler’s last desperate gambit at fixing reality

[sirsparklepants]

i don't have any crayons on me right now but i need you all to know about the delightful deli associate i just met

I couldn't afford a pound of weed so i have to settle for mozzarella. even though i apparently can't spell mozzarella.

[sirsparklepants]

me re-scrolling thru older convos w/ my friends becuase i remember how much i enjoyed talking to them about the subject

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Went to take this picture of this insane bigfoot sex sign and only after opening my camera did i notice the entire flock of little chickens chilling in the dirt. life is good again

[sirsparklepants]

There is a theory that watching unbearable stories about other people lost in grief and rage is good for you—may cleanse you of your darkness. Do you want to go down to the pits of yourself all alone? Not much. What if an actor could do it for you? Isn't that why they are called actors? They act for you. You sacrifice them to action. And this sacrifice is a mode of deepest intimacy of you with your own life.

Anne Carson, from Grief Lessons: Four Plays by Euripides; Tragedy: A Curious Art Form

[sirsparklepants]

“That ship is toxic ! They're so unhealthy—”

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something something about sensoring and purity culture. it just seems bit fucked (or not enough) that word sex is highlighted as wrong

[sirsparklepants]

Because I see a lot of polls assuming people's pfp's are characters:

is your pfp a person?