sk8nghippos

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*pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce”*

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i like saying “come in”. it confuses people. you just have to make sure the door is locked

Come back with a warrant

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Manny Jacinto photographed by Sela Shiloni (2018)

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Every. Fucking. Morning.

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NO WAY. spilling the beans is by accident. spilling the tea is on puRPOSE!

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me: starts crying

someone else: what's wrong

me: this is just something that happens

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How to smuggle a 2-liter into a movie theater

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 Weekend mood

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might seem like a harmless quirk but once you start typing in exclusively lowercase you can never capitalize anything again outside the designated midsentence Gay Emphasis Zones or anyone following you for longer than a week will think you’re about to commit murder

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2018 Grinch has no edge. He’s got no bite. He’s not even that much of an asshole. He’s just a sassy gay furry with unusually nice teeth despite his famous theme song declaring otherwise.

1966 Grinch? Now that was a mean, scary bastard. He was a crusty old fuck who hated society so much that he only came off his shitty frozen mountain to commit crimes and terrorism out of spite.

Bennyhoo Cumberland Grinch comes down from his mountain to buy groceries.

You can round the edges off a character to make them more “relatable” or whatever, but you also run the risk of losing what defined them in the first place. The end result is bland and generic.

2018 Grinch is a reflection of modern society’s rejection of real character flaws in the interest of being “unproblematic” and in this essay i will

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what even happens inside a dishwasher