sl3epyaf

[sl3epyaf]

He can't avoid me anymore

[sl3epyaf]

I was bored so here's a- Gabriel from Temu

[sl3epyaf]

It's not even his birthday bro-

Welcome home my fourth Beel card <3

[sl3epyaf]

Can we get justice for the tables-

(first part of the second part of the pirate event)

[sl3epyaf]

Random headcanon:

I feel like Beelzebub's favorite song would be California gurls- like MC introduces it to him during karaoke and from then on you can hear him sing it whenever he's wandering around.

Bael would NOT like it whenever Beel arrives back in Abyssos and he's just going "California gurls we're unforgettable~"

[sl3epyaf]

Let me cook.

Okay so imagine an AU where basically MC who's been to hell for a long time

And then they get transported to a timeline where Gabriel hadn't attacked them yet in their room/ timeline where they just arrived in hell

Imagine the chaos they'd manage to pull the second they're dragged to hell.

Like they know something about Leviathan and then comes their 'first' meeting in the new timeline- MC casually dropping tons of shit about Levi out of nowhere. Or just not being scared about Gabriel appearing and just saying "Ah shit, here we go again"/ "that's major godless behavior right there"

Thank you for coming to my ted-talk.

[sl3epyaf]

What if you drew them? The kings + Foras and Belial (and Jiyu)

Okay so imagine you were drawing and one of them pass you by (or someone tells them that you drew them)-

Headcanon time chat

That's pretty much it <3

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

He's probably either half asleep or Beleth is carrying him so he doesn't actually know- well until someone tells him and even then i'm 99% sure it goes in one ear and out the other

He probably wouldn't understand why you'd waste your time when you could be sleeping but hey it looks cool so Belphegor will ask Beleth to hang it somewhere in his room or make copies of it-

Honestly if you're disappointed at the lack of reaction that's totally on you.

Beleth will thank you in Belphegor's place,

Beleth might even commission you to do some artwork for Niflheim.

And maybe if he has the energy to Belphegor might commission you (more like tell Beleth what he wants and then having Beleth go to you..) Beleth will take care of the payment and other troublesome matter that might come with it.

Belphegor might ask Beleth to bring him to where you are so he can sleep in the same room as you- (which may or may not be an attempt at making you sleepy and go to sleep with him)

He's gonna be one happy mf. Like actually- he'll also 100% praise you for the skill you have (even if it's just a stick figure of him-)

The drawing is gonna get hung somewhere where almost everyone can see it, honestly it might even become a tourist attraction for Tartaros

Of course Bimet will charge people tons for it- so make sure you get your share from him- 90% for you and 10% for him. Maybe 15% if Bimet's good.

You're gonna get TONS of commissions afterwards- everybody wants a drawing from the descendant of Solomon- you're gonna be swimming in money 100%

Not to mention Mammon would also pay you for some drawings to make the Tartaros castle seem more lively- (ignoring the fact that he spoils you already-)

He'll eat the drawing-

Jokes aside he was probably there when you were drawing- Beelzebub LOVES to be around you sooo- and if he can't be there then there's gonna be this small annoying fly buzzing around you making you want to smack it under your sketchbook/drawing device-

When he's able to Beelzebub will give you TONS of hugs- and kisses and nibbles on your shoulders as a thank you.

If he wants something commissioned from you he'll have Bael deal with the annoying parts because there's a chance he'll forget to pay you- or well anything related to that sort of stuff.

Bael doesn't even curse him out for this because he also likes your drawings.

Beel will make fun of you if you draw him as a stick figure but he still loves the drawing anyway.

Lord have mercy on your soul-

Another mf who's going to be HAPPY about you drawing him- If you draw him as a stick figure it's 100% going to remind him of the time when his kids also did that- but either way Asmodeus loves your drawing.

Depending on your skill he might ask you to draw some NSFW stuff- but rest assured you'll be compensated! .. Not in money though normally but that can also be arranged if you really want/need it-

Asmodeus will hang your drawing somewhere in Abaddon where he can see it often, so most likely in his room-

On the outside Leviathan will give you a simple nod- on the inside though? He's happy to some decree

Obviously since Leviathan has Foras keep an eye on you almost 24/7 he knew about the drawing

And of course he asked Foras to make sure you were only drawing him- he'll hang you if he hears that you've drawn any other kings or hell- any devils in general.

Also you better not be drawing him as a stick figure- he'll hang you for that too. He's more beautiful than a mere stick figure and you better know that too-

But also on the other side if you draw him too well he'll get jealous of that drawing- and your skills which once again might end up with him hanging you for a bit-

Leviathan will keep your drawings to himself- he doesn't want to share and even the thought gets him extremely jealous which might end up with him hanging you for a bit- so choke him later for that before he can hang you

Yet another very happy devil

Lucifer would assume that people would rather draw him as an angel than with horns so when he saw you draw him/heard of your drawing from Gamigin he was happy.

Lucifer will hang your drawing in his office 100% and in the future will commission you if he needs/wants a specific drawing somewhere in Paradise Lost.

If you drew him as a stick figure you'd earn a small laugh from him but he'll appreciate the drawing anyway

If you're drawing for the Paradise Lost patients then he'll be even more happy!

When he first found out from Sitri that you were drawing him Satan punched a hole in the wall, and after that? He's breaking your door open because he's coming to check up on you

He's also a very very happy devil but this is Satan we're talking about- something's getting broken one way or another.

Your drawing might also become a tourist attraction in Gehenna just like Tartaros- but Gehenna doesn't have Bimet trying to demand money for YOUR drawing- it's more of a 'pay if you like it'.

But of course Gehenna devils will like it so they're 100% going to commission you- and then get their asses kicked by Satan because he wants to spend time with you but can't because of how busy you are.

It wouldn't be shocking if someone commissioned you to draw them getting their ass kicked by Satan-

You're going to have two happy devils with you- well unless you forgot Jiyu in your drawing- that small gremlin is gonna be angry as hell and will curse you out for it.

Of course if you drew Jiyu he's going to be very happy and will not curse you out for a week minimum-

Belial of course is going to be happy either way- he never imagined that you'd be willing to draw him.

He'll make sure to thank you for it without Jiyu cursing you out at the end of his sentences- you don't deserve that.

He's with you almost 24/7. Of course Foras knew about you drawing him but that doesn't make him any less happy.

Of course he's seen you make progress on it- hell Foras has even showed himself a few times just so you can get a better look at his features to help with your drawing.

Like Leviathan he doesn't share your drawing with anyone- he doesn't want to.

Expect to get a few kisses on your body from 'nothing'- Foras is just showing his appreciation for you and how happy he is from you drawing him

[sl3epyaf]

Introducing my male MC

With a meme of course cuz why not.

Made him using picrew, he also has two siblings (one nonbinary and one sister)

"If Gabriel has zero haters I'm dead."

" I may or may not have convinced Beelzebub to sing California gurls at the karaoke alright- but it's funny as hell" - Aito

The type of mf to make a song about mocking Gabriel and blasting it when the seraphim appears to try and kill him

Below is his siblings <3

[sl3epyaf]

So I just got to reading the pirate event

And in the first 2 minutes I get ass in my face, this is gonna be a fun event-

[sl3epyaf]

Asking them to dance! WHB kings + ???

Important notes: Most likely contains writing mistakes but I've tried my best, the scenario start is the same however they all have their own individual stories!

I lowkey ran out of motivation at the end so forgive me-

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

So Abyssos is holding a ball event with all of the kings invited along with you.

You're kind of bored just sitting around when shockingly your favorite song comes on- you're not sure how the hell dj knew that or well if it was just a coincidence but either way you weren't going to miss this opportunity to ask one of your favorite devils to dance with you.

So you gave yourself a ten second pep talk because taking longer and hesitating is for pussies and after that? (Okay ngl you gave yourself a 2 minute pep talk) You scan the room, searching the thrones the kings were at and the crowd for your favorite devil.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹

You lock eyes with Satan and he flashes you a wide grin which eases your nerves slightly as you approach his throne. You smile before clearing your throat "Satan.. do you want to dance with me?"- Somehow you managed to say that without stuttering so that's a bonus.. in your book at least.

Satan's grin widens as he stands up and takes your hand, leading you back onto the dance floor. As you walk you could definitely some eyes fall on you, Gehenna devils looking at you with a mix of awe and slightly envy though whether or not they were envying you or Satan you didn't know- You could also see Leviathan glaring daggers at Satan, clearly jealous that you didn't ask him to dance- well maybe he should try hanging you less.

You look at the DJ and she somehow takes the message of restarting the song! 'That's awesome' you think to yourself, smiling.

As the song starts you take Satan's hand- luckily he was either the same height as you or only a bit taller because otherwise that might've turned very awkward-

At first it felt embarrassing to dance in front of so many devils but as the song progressed you felt yourself becoming more confident- the younger you who lived on earth could never!

And as the song progressed you could hear Ppyong and Paimon cheering you on. The red lump devil moving so much he accidentally dropped your glass- but that was a problem for later, for now you were just going to enjoy the dance you were having with Satan- well that was until somebody accidentally bumped into you which caused Satan to kick their ass outside the club, making a huge hole on the wall- In the background you can hear a few devils gasp along with a few others laughing- Beelzebub seemed to be enjoying himself as his laughter could be clearly heard from the thrones-

'I hope that's not gonna cause a lawsuit' you think to yourself while stepping aside, letting the Gehenna devils rush over to Satan to get their asses kicked as well- You know Gehenna devils could handle it but you were slightly nervous for the first devil- you weren't sure which country they were from and depending on where they were from Paradise Lost might be getting a patient later on-

Your eyes fall on Mammon who was actually standing not so far away from you, talking with Bimet, Eligos and Valefor. You smile, approaching them though as you open your mouth to speak Mammon beats you to it, holding his hand out "Would you like to dance master?" Well damn- were you that obvious in your intentions- probably or Mammon wanted to dance with you- or both..

You nod and grab his hand, following him to the dance floor- goddamn you felt small next to him and the stares you got didn't exactly help your cause. Mammon grabs your chin gently "Focus on the dance master, would you like to change the current song?"

You shake your head "No, I quite enjoy the current one"- you were just hoping it wouldn't turn into a slow dance cuz you could barely reach Mammon's shoulders- you'd look like an idiot trying to keep up with him-

As the song ended Mammon picked you up and placed you on his shoulders as he started walking towards Bimet who pulled a donation box from out of nowhere "Alright whoever witnessed that dance has to pay."

"... Is he seriously charging people for that?" You ask, half in disbelief and half in amusement- "Aye.. looks like it" Ppyong responds, flying next to you and handing you your drink. After you've taken a sip Mammon grabs the glass with his other hand "I'll hold it for master until you're thirsty again." Without letting you get a word in Mammon walks out of the club- or whatever the place was- When you arrived outside there was already a helicopter waiting- did Mammon plan this from the beginning? To steal you away from the other kings and then fly away?

If that was his plan then damn- you were impressed- considering the dumb shit the kings do.. whenever they're acting smart it impresses you..

Mammon gets inside the helicopter and sits you down on his lap, signalling for whoever was controlling the helicopter to leave.

You couldn't help but feel bad for Bimet and other Tartaros devils considering their king just kinda ditched them but- you were sure they had their own ways of getting back to Tartaros.

You didn't even have to look for Belphegor, you already knew where he was. As you step closer to the thrones you notice how Belphegor was only half laying on it, his lower body on the hard ground- and that did NOT look comfortable in the slightest- then again the king of sloth was named the king of sloth for a reason.

You also knew that there was no chance in hell that you'd get him to dance with you so you turn to Beleth "I want to take a nap so can you carry him somewhere comfortable?"- hell if you can't dance with him then you're going to do the second best thing, sleep.

Beleth laughs at your question and casually throws Belphegor over his shoulder, starting to walk towards one of the private rooms with you following behind him. As you did you could feel the other kings staring at you with slight envy or in Leviathan's case- huge envy- but you were going to deal with that later, for now the more you thought about taking a nap with Belphegor the more tired you got.

"Here ya go, just call if ya need anythin" Beleth suddenly states as he lays the devil on his shoulder onto the couch- apparently you were too lost in thought to notice the lack of conversation between the two of you.. He nods at you again as he leaves. You observe Belphegor for a few minutes before facepalming, you really didn't think this through all that well did you- were you supposed to just lay down next to him or you know- wake him up and ask him permission to take a nap together- then again Belphegor would probably say something along the lines of 'How annoyin' or 'Don't ya dare ask me for permission for something like this'

So fuck it- go big or go home.

You carefully lay down next to Belphegor and close your eyes, sleep almost immediately taking a hold of you-

A few minutes later Beleth walks back into the room to check on you and he decides to tuck you both under a warm blanket.

Shockingly you had to look around for Asmodeus for around 30 seconds before you spotted him, sitting on the throne- yeah shockingly not flirting with anyone- perhaps someone tied him down on the throne. Though you couldn't help but smirk to yourself as you observe the thrones, to the right there were 6 thrones and to the left only one reserved for Asmodeus- It was a funny sight though you weren't sure if you wanted to voice that part- not with Asmodeus looking at you like you were a snack..

"Keke- don't be shy MC～" He says while winking at you- how the hell was he even allowed in this party/ball anyway- 'Fuck it, go big or go home'

You clear your throat "Would you- like to dance with me?" Holy fuck you were regretting those words almost immediately and as for Asmodeus? Either because he was enjoying your discomfort or he was just happy that you asked him to dance out of all devils- a wide smile falls onto his face. "In which way?"- Oh for God's sake.

"Dance as dancing?" you raise an eyebrow. "I know keke～ I was just teasing you" Well you were relieved- because for a second or two you wanted to smack Asmodeus for even thinking about something else..

Without letting you get another word in Asmodeus takes your hand and gracefully walks you onto the dancefloor- which for some ODD reason was now completely empty- but at least you didn't have to worry about bumping into anyone and having them get mad at you for it?-

You signal for the DJ to restart the music before whispering to Asmodeus "Keep your hands to yourself". Your sentence earned you another laugh from the devil holding your hand- "I'm serious." You frown but considering how the smirk on Asmodeus's face widened- you didn't look very serious to him.

"I know, I know～" Did he though?

Looking for Beelzebub was a pain- you could not see him anywhere so you decided to go up to Bael who was discussing something with Beleth at the thrones. Before you could go up the stairs somebody had already captured you into his arms. "Beel." You state, looking up to see Beelzebub placing his chin on your head already, a bright smile on his face. "I want to dance with you"- well at least you didn't have to ask Bael where he was now-

And instead of waiting for your answer Beelzebub drags you onto the dance floor, gesturing for the DJ to change songs which was a bummer- well for about 10 seconds before you heard the new beat which was far more energetic- a perfect song for dancing- it was funny though considering the other songs were a bit more.. formal- not to mention how everyone was dressed at least somewhat fancy-

Beelzebub grabs your hand and immediately starts to dance, spinning you around with a smile that was somehow even brighter than around 40 seconds ago- but you couldn't blame him considering you were also already having a lot of fun!

As the song progressed the beat got even faster and more fun and as you span around you came to the conclusion that your legs were definitely going to hurt a ton after this.

Suddenly Beelzebub lifts you up and dashes out of the club, flipping off the other kings. You could see Satan break a part of the throne and Leviathan's face darkening a lot- A boop on your nose forces you to focus your attention back on Beelzebub who had a smile that was both mischievious yet adorable at the same time- or maybe his smile was always like that when you weren't on the receiving end of his mischief- either way you were happy right now.

And so you spend the entire night running off with Beelzebub, occasionlly stopping at a random stall in Abyssos for either a drink or for a bite to eat while also dodging the search party which consisted of Mammon, Satan and Leviathan-

At a few points Beelzebub had even taunted them on purpose before skidaddling out of the view- it was utterly hilarious though you were sure that either you or him or well both were going to deal with a few angry kings later..

You saw Leviathan sitting on his throne, glaring daggers at the dance floor and even his fellow kings as if they owed him something- You clear your throat and start walking up the stairs though you quickly bumped into Leviathan who had already stood up. He then grabbed your hand and he starts dragging you away from the ball room- you look to see a few devils staring at you with envy- mostly Hades devils-

You had no idea where Leviathan was leading you- probably somewhere more quiet where he can hang you in peace for simply breathing wrong.

"Hey uhh Levi-.. athan?" You ask, quickly adding the last part of his name because you were totally not about to call him 'Levi' "Where are we going?"

"Back to Hades, this place is too loud" Well you couldn't argue with that- it was definitely loud. Suddenly Leviathan opens his coffin- which you assume was placed there well in advance. He then basically yeets you in there! You're not sure if the coffin is safe for human transportasion- perhaps you were going to meet up with Solomon again in the land of the dead or whatever he called it.

Well whether or not you wanted to see Solomon you unfortunately didn't. Instead you ended up in a large hall somewhere in Hades, shockingly it also seemed like a dance floor. As soon as you step out of the coffin music starts playing and Leviathan grabs your hand once again, almost immediately forcing you to slow dance with him.

Leviathan tightens his grip on you as you stumble forwards- hopefully he wasn't going to hang you later for that- "You're clumsy" "More like not used to slow dancing" You grumble, giving Leviathan a half-hearted glare before continuing "And especially not used to suddenly being forced to dance the second I'm out of a coffin"

Leviathan presses his lips in a thin line but doesn't say anything though you could feel him dancing slightly faster, forcing you to try and keep up with him even more

'Deer man is so damn cranky'. Now that you think about it the scene of Leviathan glaring at the dance floor wasn't probably actually glaring but him searching for you..

Finding Lucifer wasn't as hard as you thought considering you could see him sitting on his throne, talking to Marbas about something. Finding the balls from god knows where you step up and take a few steps forward to the throne.. and then you decide to skidaddle back- after all you were planning on asking Lucifer of all people to dance! You needed to give yourself another pep talk, one which was a lot longer than the 2 minute pep talk you gave yourself a few seconds ago- The balls you got deflated about 5 seconds after you got them.

"MC is something wrong?" Ppyong asks, handing you back your drink "Just wondering how I should ask a certain someone to dance" You reply, reaching to pat Ppyong's small head.

As you continue talking with Ppyong someone suddenly taps your shoulder and when you look up? You're face to face with Lucifer who offers you a small smile as he's holding his hand out for you to take- well damn.

You could see Gamigin basically beaming with excitement in the corner of your eye-

And so you chuckle and nod, taking Lucifer's hand as he leads you to the dance floor. At that point the song had already changed from your favorite one to another one befitting of a slow dance- 'well shit' You think to yourself but hell- when were you ever going to get the chance to dance with Lucifer again? Probably when you were near your 80's or something- assuming Gabriel hadn't kicked your ass by that time- either way you knew it'd be in a very long time and you knew you wouldn't have the patience to wait.

Lucifer sensing or seeing your nervousness shakes his head and guides your hands to rest on him. After making sure you were comfortable Lucifer begins to move, guiding you with him, his movements truly filled with grace- you were 100% certain you looked like a frog that was drunk trying to keep up with him but did you care?

Perhaps not considering how much fun you were having and you felt like Lucifer was also having fun- well at least you hoped so. In the background you could see Gamigin cheering you both on while being held back by Buer- you could only guess he also wanted to join you two.

You made a mental note to yourself to ask Gamigin to dance with you sometime whenever Paradise Lost wasn't busy.

Trying to look for Belial wasn't hard considering you could hear his gremlin cursing at some devils from Tartaros. You raise an eyebrow and walk over. Almost immediately both Belial and Jiyu turn their attentions on you "MC? What are you doing here? You smelly.. thing!"

"Jiyu insult me again and i'll actually boil you for breakfast tomorrow morning" You basically hiss at the small red devil perched on Belial's horn who shut up very quickly. You clear your throat again and offer Belial a smile "Sorry, would you uh- like to dance with me?"

You could see a small smile also rise to Belial's face and he nods with Jiyu speaking for him- of course with his own remarks "I'd be happy to. Please don't boil me for breakfast I'm sorry."

"We'll discuss that later" You state while taking Belial's hand, leading him to the dance floor though unfortunately the song had changed from your favorite one to another but hey- the beat was still good!

Now that you thought about it you realized you weren't sure if Belial even enjoyed dancing- but he said yes so he might..

"You're a good dancer MC. No they're not!" "You're one step closer to becoming my midnight snack Jiyu" You state while glaring at the small devil who lets out a small 'eep'- Seriously Belial should bring him to a dog training school or something-

As you continue dancing you notice how Belial's smile seems to grow even so slightly- so he was having fun! That was a good thing- he's been through a lot. Jiyu even seemed to keep his mouth shut when it came to insulting you- your threat clearly in his mind but the other devils? They still received his- colorful, nice language- well as long as it wasn't directed at you tonight!

"Solomon would you like me to refill your drink?" Sitri's voice catches you off guard and you almost drop your glass- luckily you didn't. You turn around and shake your head, offering Sitri a sweet smile "No not yet at least- I think i've had a lot though I have a question for you".

Sitri nods his head and you take a deep breath "Would you like to dance with me? I'm not really a good dancer but- you know" You explain.

Sitri shakes his head and for a second you were 100% certain he just declined your request to dance but no "I'd love to dance with you Solomon, it has been a while since we've had the chance to"

He takes the glass from your hand and gives it to Ppyong, after that he takes your hand, intertwining your fingers as he leads you to the dance floor.

The song had changed to a more calming one- reminding you of tea times with Sitri ironically but you weren't really complaining considering it helped soothe your nerves a bit.

After the song ended you walk back to Ppyong to get something to drink only for Sitri to shake his head and offer you a new glass of black tea- when he had the chance to do that you'll never know- but hey once again you weren't complaining

To be honest you werent even going to try and look for Foras, already knowing that he was probably somewhere near you, invisible so you sigh and mutter "Foras?"

Foras offers you a smile as he manifests in front of you- yep you were right though did he know about your intentions of asking him to dance?- well you weren't sure about that.

"Foras would you like to dance with me?" You hold your hand out in anticipation. Foras looks a bit taken a bit by your request before he nods, taking your hand in his as an adorable smile appears on his face.

"I'd be happy to" God you wanted to protect that smile- You mentally chuckle to yourself as you walk Foras over to the dance floor, placing your hands on his shoulders.

You could sense Leviathan glaring daggers at you which made Foras try to pull away but you shake your head "I'll deal with mr grumpy deer later"

[sl3epyaf]

If I don't get Lucifer's butler card when it arrives in the regular banner i'm fighting God

Like mf I've been saving.

Anyway ty for coming to my ted-talk part 2

Below is real footage of me eyeing PB

[sl3epyaf]

What if you got turned into a 5 year old? WHB kings

Small fic based off of this post I made, tweaked the concept a bit tho

Not proofread, forgive me for typing mistakes-

GN reader/MC :]

This was meant to be done a lot earlier but I just didn't have ANY motivation to write sooo.. /ᐠ - ˕ -マ

Enjoy whatever this is- <3

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When you first woke up you felt weird.. not like sick but just weird. It took some effort but you finally managed to get a glimpse of yourself in the mirror- instead of your usual self there stood a tiny you- around 5 years old in front of the mirror.

Your thoughts were cut off by the door getting opened.

For the first 20 seconds or so you and Satan kept staring at each other before he finally manages to blurt out "What the fuck happened to you?". Honestly, that's what you wanted to know as well because how the hell did you just wake up on a Thursday like this?!

You open your mouth to say something only to manage to say "Don't know". It appears whatever- this was also turned your ability to speak back to the one you had as a five year old, but at least your mind was intact-

"Well shit" The short devil says before picking you up and placing you on his shoulders and bolting out of room straight over to where Sitri, Paimon and Ppyong were talking.

Paimon was the first one to notice you, a gasp escaping his lips "MCC～ What happened to you?" Oh boy, you were going to hear that question a lot.. You just knew it.

You shrug your shoulders. That gesture somehow earned you an 'aww' from Paimon- you could only guess he found you extremely adorable.

"We're going to Tartaros, perhaps Mammon knows how to fix you" 'Someone get me to Lucifer please because he's the closest person who can probably fix this' you think to yourself, internally facepalming. Though a certain concern quickly appeared in your head- how on earth were you going to get there so fast?!

Well you got your answer extremely fast as Satan bolted outside and into where he keeps his motorcycles..

And when Satan placed you on his motorcycle? You almost screamed. Surely he wasn't going to drive there with you on board?! Actually knowing him he would..

Unfortunately you fears were true as the devil of wrath started the engine and started speeding towards Tartaros but at least he was holding you tight so you wouldn't fall?

If you were to ignore the.. few panic attacks you almost got on your trip to Tartaros then you could say it was the best trip you've ever had in your life.

Instead of parking his motorcycle somewhere Satan decided 'fuck driving rules' and drove straight through walls and straight to Mammon.

The sudden stop caused you to fly out of Satan's arms and into Mammon's.

"Who are they?" "MC" "What happened to them?" Ah shit, here we go again. You lift your head "Don't know, woke up like this"

You then noticed Bimet looking at you with an appraising gaze before pulling you into his arms and then pulling a donation box from God knows where- You didn't even have to know that Bimet was going to use your tiny self as means to get money- probably charging Tartaros devils a hefty sum of gold to see you..

You poke Bimet's cheek "I want money." If that fucker was going to make money off of you then you wanted some of the share!

"Fine."

Anddd about three hours later you were regretting your life choices. You weren't going to lie, you were about 60% sure that Bimet wasn't going to try and make money off of you but he did- the good news is that you're keeping 60% of what was earned, the bad news was that you were EXHAUSTED, your legs hurting from walking around so much.. and so now you were leaning against Mammon's chest, his large hands patting your head which caused you to drift off and finally fall asleep.

You're not sure how long you slept but you were woken up by the slight smell of smoke and so you open eyes and you found yourself laying on the couch with Belphegor's arms around you.

"Huh-" you blink before looking around, now all eyes are on you. "His Maj' and I found heard about your situation and now we're here just chillin'". Beleth explains, squishing the cigarette he was smoking under his boot.

Shockingly that didn't comfort you in the slightest.. why? Because if Beleth and Belphegor heard about the situation then how many more- and more importantly- did the angels hear about it?! Or are they the ones behind it?

"Stop movin' so damn much" You hear a tired voice behind you. Apparently you moving around slightly woke the king of sloth up which to be honest made you laugh just a tiny bit.. "Morning" You greet him knowing damn well that Belphegor would rather not be awake right now.. in your defense- it was not your fault that he woke up.

In the corner of your eye you can see Beleth checking the clock, he sighs as he walks over to you, carefully unwrapping Belphegor's arms around you "Sorry we've gotta go, got some stuff to deal with"

You frown a bit- you've been up for about 3 minutes and hadn't had the chance to talk with Beleth and Belphegor much- at least you got to nap. You wave them goodbye and then look around the room "Where Satan?"

"He had something to do in Gehenna so he had to leave" Mammon explains, getting up "I'll get you something to eat". Now that food was mentioned you did realize that you were hungry-

When the door to your room was suddenly opened you almost screamed after realizing who came in.

"And here I thought you couldn't get anymore adorable～" Asmodeus greets you, picking you up. "Have the devils treated you well? Have you been fed proper food?"

'If by being fed means getting no food then yes i've been fed well, really well in fact' you think. But instead of voicing your- thoughts you shake your head and manage to respond with "No food".

Almost immediately Asmodeus frowns at your response, reaching down to boop your nose. For half a second you were temped to bite Asmo's finger like an angry cat but you didn't, instead you respond with "Mammon bringing food".

"I see～Let's hope he brings something that's edible for you, your teeth aren't good enough to bite down on gold". Oh crap- you didn't even think about that- Now you had to pray that whoever of the seven kings held their one shared braincell gave it to Mammon for a moment to make him realize that gold is NOT good food for a human child.. or hell a normal human in general!

'Thanks Asmo now you're giving my small brain the overthinking syndrome..'

Oblivious to your now panicking mind Asmodeus sits down and shockingly begins to tell you about his past wife and kids.

At some point Mammon had come back and (very hesitantly considering Asmodeus' presence) had given you a plate of normal food so now you were snacking on food while listening to Asmo's story peacefully-

Well until that peace was lost by a fly starting to buzz hear your ear!

You pout slightly "Bub.."

Your annoyance was either clearly written on your face or your tone considering the fly disappeared about 5 seconds after. Replaced with Beelzebub's figure standing in the middle of the room- .. holding a bottle of wine?!

"I heard you changed into a child so I brought you something to drink!". You widen your eyes, staring at Beelzebub like he was the biggest idiot in the room- which he was but you weren't going to say that out loud considering you didn't have the will or patience to deal with a fly bugging you for the next week or two..

"Wine is not safe for human children to consume" Asmodeus says in your stead, tightening his grip on you slightly as if he's worried that Beel might actually shove some wine down your throat..

"It's not?" 'Dear god never let this man have kids..' You think to yourself..

"It's not" You confirm with a sigh, focusing on eating your sandwich again. "Do we know what caused this?" Beel suddenly asks and you sigh again. Considering that you had food in your mouth you shake your head as a clear 'no', 'hell no' even.

"We should call Levi!" Beel suggests, earning nods from the two other kings with you. 'Solomon you saying these guys are idiots would be an understatement of the fucking universe time.'

When Leviathan got the call for him to come and take a look at you he almost laughed and he was internally laughing until he arrived in the room, immediately starting to glare daggers at Asmo who's lap you were still sitting in.

And then you were snatched from Asmo's lap by Levi- You weren't a devil but even you could sense the envy radiating from him. "Levi!" Beel greets Leviathan with a bright smile on his face which earned a scoff from him-

'I can't imagine just getting brushed off like that, i'd cry for 6 years at least'

"What happened to them?" Leviathan finally asks- shockingly you didn't hear that as much as you thought you would or maybe you were asleep when those questions were asked- honestly you didn't know. "We don't know, Satan crashed here with his motorcycle with them in his arms" Mammon responds- well at least you didn't have to respond.

"An angel attack?" THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED TO KNOW. "Don't know" You respond, crossing your tiny arms with a pout "We thought you might know Levi" Beelzebub adds, smiling at Leviathan. "Well clearly I don't, I've never seen this before" Okay now you wanted to know- did Levi wake up on the wrong foot or something???

"I'm dialing Lucifer's number～" Asmo says with a slight smirk. "You're not blocked?" You ask with a straight face. In the corner of your eye you could see Leviathan get a small smirk on his face before it returned back to his original expression. The devil king of envy holding you slightly closer as Asmodeus frowns "Blocked"

Yeah you didn't find that part that shocking- almost everyone you know that isn't from Abaddon has him blocked.. more often than not you were this close to also blocking him.

"I'll call Lucifer for master" Mammon says, quickly dialing Lucifer.

[Can this mf just come home to me already? :( Alright back to our scheduled programming.. ]

Shockingly it didn't take that long for Lucifer to arrive. He knocked on the door before walking in, his eyes scanning the room before they fell on you.

"What happened to them?" He finally asks while picking you up from a less than willing Leviathan's arms. Lucifer places his hand on your small forehead as to check your temperature- well you didn't know why he did that but to be fair there was a reason he was a doctor and not you-

"They apparently woke up like this. I miss when my kids were this small" Asmodeus responds with a sigh, clearly reminiscing about the past. "Is it some sort of an angel attack?" Mammon continues, making Lucifer raise an eyebrow- 'Yeah I don't think he's too fond of his former brethen being blamed for everything even if my favorite motto is to blame Gabriel..'

"I don't believe it is" The fallen angel confirms, looking at you again before continuing "I've heard rumors of a mischievious devil going around and spiking other's drinks with magic that turns them into a random creature or in MC's case into a child for a day".

You look at Lucifer with a raised eyebrow- did he deal with someone like this earlier this week or something? "Harmless?" You ask, hands reaching to play with the messy strands of Lucifer's hair. Hell since you had the opportunity to do so- why not? In the corner of your eye you can see Leviathan glaring daggers at you- you were going to get hung for that later weren't you-

He pauses for a few seconds before nodding "I believe it is harmless"

────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ

And that's how you got babied for the rest of the day with Beleth, Belphegor and Satan arriving back at some point.

[sl3epyaf]

Today I present you with: the posters Bael puts up in hell and in the human world whenever Beel disappears for too long

And once again idk if someone did this already but-

[sl3epyaf]

Ppyong appreciation time

Made by yours truly <3

[sl3epyaf]

Insert nice caption

Long story short I found a template on Pinterest and decided "fuck it, imma put WHB characters on it". Idk if someone has already made this though

I put the template down below <3

The template

⬇

[sl3epyaf]

Dumbass brainrots part 1

So long story short I was bored and this popped into my mind: Imagine MC and Gabriel fighting or well MC trying to avoid the angel's attacks and then Asmo pops up- MC who avoids the king like the plaque and who wants nothing to do with Asmo's lust suddenly pushes Gabriel towards him while saying "this is my peace offering to leave me the fuck alone sir"

- Thank you for coming to my tedtalk, new episodes coming someday ig-

[sl3epyaf]

A dump of incorrect WHB quotes

Buckle up everyone (Almost every single one is MC- woops)

No I did not count how many there are <3

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Shifter MC screaming and backing themselves into a corner

Gabriel coming through the computer screen to kill MC confused af: "Why are you running, WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?!"

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MC: "i've had Ppyong for a day and half, but if anything happens to him i'd kill everyone in this room and then myself"

Ppyong crying happy tears in the corner while devils of Paradise Lost are concerned

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Satan rolling his sleeves, ready for a fight: "Mama didn't raise no fucking bitch we keep going" -

Leviathan: "Nah nah mama raised a bitch let's go"

MC (Said it with a straight face): "Mama didn't raise no one actually my parents are dead"

Lucifer, baffled: "Oh my god"

Beelzebub is also laughing his ass off in the background

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Minhyeok, panicking and walking in circles in the room: "It's a baby with a gun!!"

Satan, very happy, ready to hand another gun: "Aww It's a baby with a gun"

MC: is the baby

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MC: "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands"

*crickets*

MC: "Dang yall depressed as fuck"

Leviathan: "You didn't clap either!"

MC: "SHUT UP."

Beelzebub: "Do you want a cookie?"

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Leviathan: "Ugh I have no friends"

*Coughing*

Beelzebub next to him "Bitch what am I, a roach???"

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MC when they first appeared in hell: "Hey my name's MC and I'm Solomon's last descendant, totally didn't find that out a few minutes ago"

MC a while later with a proud Satan in the background: "Idgaf what the temperature is, imma slander the angels, getting offended is a Gabriel trait"

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MC who's fed up with the attempts on their life: "FY (Gabriel), FY (Leviathan), FY. You're cool (MC to a Ppyong who's now crying happy tears), and fuck you i'm out"

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:･

Leviathan: "Maybe you should be somewhere else"

Both MC and Beel confused as hell "Have we done something to offend you??"

Leviathan: "Only everytime I see you"

MC: "What the-"

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MC, fed up with Leviathan's shit: "You're a bully, Solomon taught me that there's only one way to communicate with a bully"

Leviathan, confused: "And what was his advice?"

MC: *Smiles and smacks Levi*

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Lucifer: "I didn't want to say, I don't mean to be rude yes I do, but when was the last time you showered? When you came into the room it smelled like ass in the fish market"

Asmodeus: ༼☯﹏☯༽

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MC after getting out of the coffin Levi shoved them in: "Can I speak to a manager? The service is terrible in here"

Leviathan: (¬_¬ )

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WHB as the crayon song

Red: Paimon

Orange: Beel

Yellow: Ppyong

Green: Bael

Blue: Levi, he's being held hostage by MC to be there

Purple: Gabriel

Black: MC who's having a bad day

Brown: Some poor angel also being held hostage

White: Gamigin

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Solomon appearing to MC for the first time: "Yar a wizard (my descendant) MC"

MC, confused: "I'm a what?"

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Satan: "Welcome to hell, thank you for bringing your fucking angels"

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Ppyong, following MC's instructions on dealing with annoying people: "You wanna talk to my manager? MC some bitch wants to talk to you"

MC, standing proudly in the corner, wiping their eyes with a tissue: "They grow up so fast.." ༼☯﹏☯༽

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Lucifer, accidentally getting drunk on human wine: "Fuck off Michael i'm not going to your fucking fight with Gabriel"

MC laughing their ass off in the background while recording

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Beelzebub visiting Mammon in Tartaros: "Why you don't got good candy?! Put it on your list of things to buy"

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Gabriel: "I've been kind to humans for a very long time"

MC: "You tried to kill me yesterday."

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Gamigin, completely serious: "Aren't these trees beautiful? They're the oldest known beings in this park"

Lucifer walking by

MC who woke up and chose violence: "We were wrong"

Gamigin: "MC!-"

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Gabriel: "Last week I told my assistant (Who the hell even is that?) to arrange a company picnic for our top performing angels, I got these assholes"

He then points at Michael and Raphael

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Mammon teasing Satan: "I'm just trying to figure out whether or not I should take you seriously"

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MC who hasn't seen Ppyong in 5 minutes: "Ppyong where are you baby? MC wants to go home and get dr- go to sleep. Has anyone seen my son? OH GOD PPYONG"

Hades devils and everyone else watching the chaos unfold: ⁰ᴗ⁰

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Lucifer who lost Gamigin: "Excuse me ma'am, have you seen my son? He's about this tall, clearly a dragon but we haven't had the talk"

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MC, trying to tease Asmodeus because of a stupid dare: "I didn't know our mascot was a fucking bottom"

Asmodeus only smirks in response.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:･

Aaaand the random meme/incorrect quotes dump is over-