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Top 13 Songs to Get People to Leave Your Apartment

Are you ever in a situation where you just want to get a horde of people, big or small, to get the hell out of your apartment? Maybe it's a party that's lasted until 3am and you're ready to retire to bed alone. Or maybe your roommate's girlfriend and her friends have been loudly talking and you're having a hard time concentrating on the Doctor Who reruns you've been marathoning on Netflix. Hell, maybe you just want an excuse to troll some people.

If you're ever in a situation like this, here is a list, in no particular order, of thirteen songs you can blast out of your stereo system to get people to leave your apartment.  Note: If you don't see people going o_O and slowly inching towards the door, you might want to turn that shit up.

The Shaggs | Philosophy of the World

This Heat | Shrink Wrap

Nico | Evening of Light

Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band | Bills Corpse

The Raincoats | Red Shoes

Steve Reich | It's Gonna Rain

Wire | The Other Window

Can | Aumgn

The Pop Group | Blood Money

Throbbing Gristle | Persuasion

The Knife | Fracking Fluid Injection

Suicide | Frankie Teardrop

Xiu Xiu | Wig Master

;)

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Goodie Mob - "Cell Therapy"

To start off my Today's Track installment, I chose a 90s rap song that more than adequately describes the feel of living in Madisonville, LA.  Along with OutKast, Goodie Mob started putting the South's name on the map when it came to hip-hop. 1995's "Cell Therapy" is this rap group's highest charting single to date, and a fantastically quirky and sinister track.  Let's just say rolling around in the rain to this track was pretty chill. Take note: this is how Cee-Lo got his start!

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Somewhere (2010)

Written & Directed by: Sofia Coppola

Starring: Stephen Dorff, Elle Fanning

Genre: Drama / Arthouse

Running Time: 1 hr 38 mins

  It’s no question that Sofia Coppola is a divisive figure in the independent filmmaking world.  Some either love her use of strangely delicate style or lack of obvious narrative while others just don’t see the point of it at all.  In her fourth feature length film, Somewhere, Coppola utilizes her directorial prowess in a way that may be even more alienating to the average viewer.  Following up on the themes of fame and apathy found in Lost in Translation, her 2010 film chooses a quiet, minimalist aesthetic to meditate on the monotonous and unfulfilling life of a movie star.

Stephen Dorff stars as Johnny Marco, a Hollywood actor who spends most of his time at the Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles, partying, sleeping with various women or hiring twin strippers to perform pole dance routines in his bedroom.  He receives an unexpected visit from his 11-year-old daughter Cleo (Elle Fanning), signaling changes in behavior and questioning the validity of the success he has attained.

Coppola is not afraid to let the viewer dig really deep into her simple, yet lush imagery.  The beauty and glamor of Johnny’s lifestyle is perfectly juxtaposed with long, tedious shots of his every day life.  One begins to question the success and joy Johnny is truly getting to enjoy as a middle-aged party boy.  All women want to sleep with him and everyone wants to have a drink with him, yet he seems ever alone.  The two dance sequences by the twin strippers particularly showcases the utter falseness of celebrity adoration.  Do people really love him?  Does he love anything himself?

There is irony when his glamorous lifestyle is shifted by the arrival of his daughter, Cleo.  The audience sees an identity begin to form as he interacts with her.  He takes her to ice skating practice, and while the viewer gets to watch her routine with him, we see a young girl using her body as a vehicle for expression, definitely a departure from the indifferent objectification in all of Johnny’s other interactions with women.  Cleo displays a naïve confidence, energy, and direction in life, something that her father seems to have lost.  But where do we go from here?

Somewhere exquisitely displays the apathetic and relentless existence that we can all sometimes be stuck in at the most uneventful times of our lives.  When you don’t expect anything from yourself and have everything you want, it’s easy to keep trudging along the void of life.  Despite all of the beauty around him, Johnny Marco is not in love with anything.  But life has a way of introducing change within us in the subtlest ways.  His daughter’s presence represents an epiphany that things need to be different, that he needs to reach out and do something.  Although, Coppola gives us the question and not the answer, If you take your time really soaking it all in, Somewhere is a truly devastating and life-affirming work underneath the tedious atmosphere it evokes.

8.5/10