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Jason & Friends

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they said i could be anything i wanted to be so i became a nuisance

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It’s like this

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My favourite genre of photo is “cat mid-yawn”

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—about god

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I know this is a slight tangent, but one of the other major fantasies of homesteading is the whole "wood-burning fireplace" thing. I can tell people who go on about that have never had one as their primary source of heat because they do not know how fast a wood stove goes through wood.

A cord of wood is 128 cubic feet. That is a pile of split and very closely packed logs that is four feet high - so chest-height on an adult - twenty-five feet long, and consisting of logs sixteen inches in length. That is hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of logs - all of which must have been downed six to twelve months prior to burning - to cut, carry, split, stack, and then later carry inside no matter the weather conditions. The whole family did that, including my sister and I from second grade on.

The one year - the ONE year - my mother's shoulder gave out and we bought firewood instead of gathering it ourselves?

We bought five cords of wood and needed to buy one and a half more before winter ended, and that was not a particularly bad winter. And we were extremely experienced with our stove - it was a lovely Kodiak Stove that radiated heat extremely well, and we banked our fires properly at night and stoked them in the morning. We weren't wasting this stuff, we just lived in bumfuck Appalachia and it was cold.

Now imagine having to grow enough food to live on on top of that.

There's a reason Ma and Pa Ingalls had a coal stove, and a reason I love central heating. I'm just saying.

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fuck terfs!

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Today's Adventure is that I, after an unintentional 13-hour power nap,

Got woken up at 6AM by a phone call from a friend stranded in Montana because of the heat wave and almost no cell service because of their crap provider.

OhSoThat'sHowIt'sGonnaBe.jpg

Ok.

I somehow summon a week's worth of spoons and in less than 30 minutes and 5 phone calls, get them

A hotel

An appointment with a mechanic from 2 states away

A perscription refilled from 2 states away

and A Pizza

Go me.

But then it's 8AM and there are unscheduled live humans at the door and while EVERGENCY MODE is still on, I have already blown through a ton of spoons, and also probably shouldn't meet whoever it is wearing just a pair of bootyshorts that say "CRYPTID" in Gothic Font on my ass.

So I greet them in those shorts and a T-shirt that I manage to put on both inside out and backwards

#nailedit

It is, Fortunately, not the mormons.

it is, Unfortunately, two UPS guys trying to deliver my other in-house friend's new phone except the new guy doesn't know how to operate the "sign for package" device, and the old guy that's supposed to be mentoring him is like, 92, deaf as a post, and doesn't actually know how to operate the device either.

by the way

it is already

over 100 out

it takes almost 30 minutes to sign for the phone

when i get back inside, i discover that apparently the Corgi has learned how to open his kennel from the inside because he is now out of the kennel and waiting for me to come in.

he also has cat litter all over his face because while he was waiting for me he also learned how to open the baby gate to the cat's room and help himself to a cat shit breakfast.

He'll be fine

He's a cattle dog, they're legally required to have at least 1 really disgusting snack they love.

but

more to the point

i have no idea at what point he learned to open his kennel from the inside

has he been staying there out of politeness this whole time??

And

I got other shit to do today.

namely.

I'm seeing a realator

The Devils most pathetic yet effective demons

I get a reminder text that I have an appointment with her

at least

I think that's what it is because what she sends me is: "🏡⏰12:00 ❔"

With the time typed in the middle like that.

She is, according to her profile, at least 80.

so I reply "😎👍"

and then she sends me a string of GODDAMN POST-MODERN EMOJI HEIROGLYPHICS THAT TAKE UP MY ENTIRE SCREEN.

She's on an iPhone so half of them don't even translate across platforms

It takes me half an hour and three different software programs and goddamn wingdings to translate, but she has sent me the address and rules about masking and not wearing shoes inside.

in emoji

instead of like

literally any other format

I am

FASCINATED

and simply must meet the woman so if I don't come back to update I got stolen by the fairies but I'm taking the Corgi with me as protection so I'll see y'all later.

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i think if you go to a hospital to get like surgery or urgent care and something embarrassing or weird etc happens to you and a nurse makes a tiktok about how embarrassing or weird you were and makes fun of you, you should be allowed to sue them. like actually. regardless of if they mention your name or not. you should be able to sue them

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RNC wants submission, they have zero interest in unity and would proudly support the biggest looting of top secret intel rather than admit a con man was a con man.

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I know Summer in the Northern Hemisphere is nearly over, but for folks in places where things are not generally Unpleasantly Hot and Moist which may become Unpleasantly Hot and Moist due to climate change:

The murder rate is going to go up on hot days. I'm sorry.

Hot days make people's tempers short, and without AC people are driven outside where they must, unfortunately, gaze upon their neighbors. A longstanding debate about hedge-trimming, skateboarding, loud music, or prize peonies may escalate to violence in a way it never would in cooler weather. Similarly, something as simple as access to cold water from a hose or fire hydrant (remember, don't be That Guy - don't call the cops if a hydrant's open in hot weather!) may provoke a brawl.

Please be patient with your neighbors during hot weather. They're in the same state as you. Share cooling resources and check on the elderly and those with young children.

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With so many elections coming up worldwide it's probably a good time to remind everyone that tumblr once got infested with agents trying to convince everyone not to vote, or not to vote left because the candidates weren't morally pure enough.

Also a reminder that they were better at tumblr than most of us, comrade interloper was great at memeing. Like, the talent!

Anyway don't fall for it. There is no morally pure option.

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Ah. So that's where the Wildstar devs pulled this outside-of-map feature from.

Tree coming out of an abandoned chimney (source)

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I've just changed my Twitter profile: I have now spent 28 years severely affected/housebound with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis / Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since age 22 (i.e. more than half my life).

[I first became ill at age 16, 33.5 years ago, but was initially less severely affected but was undiagnosed].

I'm one of millions around the world.

We need more public and private money to make research progress soon, the quicker the better: my life and the lives of others are passing by.

For anyone interested, here's a list of ME/CFS research funds: http://phoenixrising.me/resources-2/research-charities

Here's my story as told in the Irish Independent in 2015:

'No one chooses to have ME - everything changed when I became ill' https://www.independent.ie/life/health-wellbeing/health-features/no-one-chooses-to-have-me-everything-changed-when-i-became-ill-34153140.html

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Hi neil!

I got into the sandman comics about a year ago, and then subsequently the show (which is just fantabulous), and after telling my uncle about it he sent me the Death volume (she’s been his favorite character for decades). at the end of the volume there was a comic where Death teaches the reader about AIDs and safe sex.

I was wondering what it was like to originally publish that comic, when (i’m assuming, i wasn’t born yet) they were such touchy subjects?

A friend of mine, Don Melia, had just died of AIDS. Before he died we talked and he urged me to do something to help. Martha Thomases at DC Comics and Alisa Kwitney then assistant editor on Sandman put us in touch with the right people, and got what I wrote fact-checked carefully by an AIDS organisation, and found the helpline and information that we put on the back of the original 8 page supplement (to comics) and handout (sent free to comic shops). A lot of comic shops got them to libraries, high schools, or gave them out to customers. It didn't seem like governments were telling people how to keep safe. We could and we did. I'm still grateful to DC Comics for making it happen, and to all the comics retailers who gave them out or distributed them to people who needed them.

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reader chan?

some of u dont know reader chan…i cant believe this…..