slaylem

[slaylem]

happy 9/11 eve remember to leave some cookies and milk out for the second plane

[slaylem]

[slaylem]

If I was elected president I would make abortion an official olympic sport

[slaylem]

the poor person urge to go back to school and major in like finance or whatever so maybe i can have money one day

[slaylem]

Help me. I am a 8 year old boy living in the illegitimate Yankee Capitalist regime. President Xi, our shelves are empty and we are hungry. I am asking you to liberate my state of Connecticut with your Chengdu J-20 Stealth air superiority fighters and your Dongfeng 41 Missiles.

[slaylem]

my toxic trait is hiding a couple microbraids in my hair and then intentionally forgetting about them

[slaylem]

[slaylem]

it smells so mustard

[slaylem]

person who calls their boyfriend every time they see a post that says “your boyfriend was so small he fell into the bong and we smoked him” to make sure that their boyfriend is okay and that he hasn’t fallen into the bong and been smoked

[slaylem]

omg noooo don’t participate in purity culture you’re so pleasant without a superiority complex aha

[slaylem]

i love human mutilation

[slaylem]

being happy and feeling sexy r synonymous to me

[slaylem]

something i’ve anticipated for years suddenly coming to fruition. not exactly bittersweet, but very exciting and just a tiny bit shameful.

[slaylem]

obsessed with the fact that the doctor at my hrt consult wrote “Loves penis/testicles” in his notes

[slaylem]

[slaylem]