smartazzchazz

[smartazzchazz]

Gotta whole pizza and a plethora of wings in the kitchen. But I’m not hungry......I just want to drink until my feelings are numb.....

[smartazzchazz]

Btw this wine got me in my feelings. I ain’t gonna be worth A HOT DAMN at work in the morning smh

[smartazzchazz]

What’s done is done tho so now I gotta let it burn.....smfh

[smartazzchazz]

Kicked my love out Waiting To Exhale style......now I’m having 10th thoughts. And yes......I’ve thought about it 9 times....but im still unsure...bc I miss him.

[smartazzchazz]

Issues

Why is it that alcohol seems to temporarily solve all of my long term issues?

[smartazzchazz]

You’re a fucking idiot...

[smartazzchazz]

This mf really think I wont switch to tumblr to talk shit....WRONG!

[smartazzchazz]

Yo, listen!

I attract broken people because lord knows that I love trying to fix people. I attract people who need help with anything bc lord knows I love helping people with any and everything...that’s just me. #PublicServant

But I drink, excessively, because I lack emotions in my sobriety and with my alcohol consumption comes the ability to.....feel, something. Without it.....I feel nothing. And I feel nothing for no one and nothing. I just exist.

It’s complicated....

[smartazzchazz]

[smartazzchazz]

Missing

Missing you… Is the hardest part…

The one I used to laugh and joke with. The one I used to share all my secrets.

Missing you is the hardest part…

The warmth of your embrace. Your soft wet kisses to my face.

Missing you… Is the hardest part…

Knowing that if I reach out, if fall right back into your lies. And the progress I’ve made in getting over you will be null and void.

Missing you… Is the hardest part…

The memories we’ve made. The sweet passionate love we made.

Missing you… Is the hardest part…

The way you held me tightly as we slept. The way you held me closely as I wept.

Missing you… Is the hardest part…

How am I supposed to pretend, that someone who’s had such a huge impact on my life, for all these years, doesn’t exist?!

How am I supposed to get through tough days and times knowing that you won’t be there to console me with advice, support, a hug and a kiss?!

Missing you… Is the hardest part…

Your smile, your style.

Your hugs, your touch.

Your scent, your musk.

That face, that space. Your eyes……your lies….

Missing you… Is the hardest part.

No, I don’t need you. No, I don’t want to have to live without you. No, You’re not perfect. No, I’m not either. No, I can’t go a day without thinking about you. No, I cant respond to your text paragraphs. No, my momma doesn’t dislike you because of this.

Yes, I still love you. Yes, I will for a while. Yes, I probably always will. Yes, deep down inside I want you, us back. Yes, I believed you when you told me you were different from these other guys. Yes, you proved yourself worthy, for a while. Yes, this is all your fault. Yes, I noticed the warning signs and red flags Yes, I ignored them. Yes, I knew you were lying to me. Yes, I was vulnerable. Yes, I played the fool. Yes, I hate you for breaking my heart. Yes, I told my family and close friends about this whole situation. Yes, they assured me that I deserve better. Yes, I knowwww I deserve better. Yes, I wanted you to be the one…

No…..I can’t fall back to you. I’ve got to be strong. On this journey ive got to press on.

Without you….

But I swear…on everything…that the hardest part about this road to recovery from you and your deception….

Is missing you…

Because it’s you, my love, that is missing.

And its because of you…my love…that you are….

Missing….

[smartazzchazz]

💔

To know what it’s like…..to love somebody the way I loved you….

To know what it’s like to kill yourself after every heartbreak….

So long my almost lover, my back is turned on you…..

Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache…..

Almost lovers always do…..

[smartazzchazz]

[smartazzchazz]

The Motion for tonight😍

[smartazzchazz]

When the #Soul is projected through the skin, you become…. #Art #SelfPortrait

[smartazzchazz]

#drakedances #drake #hotlinebling #nopoliendynomite (at Houston, Texas)

[smartazzchazz]

#lsd

[smartazzchazz]