smlee89

[smlee89]

"한 문이 닫히면 반드시 다른 문이 소리를 낸다"

- 폭싹속았수다

[smlee89]

I wanted to have my nails done for my favourite time of the year. But I became poor and decided to do my own nails so here is a pic of them:

Not the best- but def am proud of myself and was fun painting them 🎄🎁

[smlee89]

요즘에 왜이렇게 일하기 싫고

돈땜에만 하는거..는 맞지만 너무 그런식으로만 생각하니까

더 가기 싫고. 여기가 싫고

내가 지금 이런게

또 나도 싫다

ㅜㅡㅠㅡㅠㅡㅠㅡㅠㅡㅠㅠ 너무너무너무너무

스트레스 받는거 싫은데 누군 좋냐 싶은거 아는데

심장이 너무 빨리 뛰는게 싫어

[smlee89]

What a cruel world.

One well known actor commits suicide because of finance issue/depression or whatever his reasons were, and it all started from being under investigation of taking illicit drugs plus a scandal with a hostess when he was married with two children.

Who knows what kind of support and who was by his side when all of this shit went down. Who knows if these were all true. They could be, or not.

Either way- I find this world so bipolar.

During the investigation when he was still alive, all I see is people reading or hearing about this investigation for less than 5 minutes on the news and then comment or talk shit about him as if they knew exactly what happened to him. As if they knew what was going on in his life, mental health, marriage and family. People make wrong choices all the fucking time. The factors don't justify the actions. But it is also their choice. And it's not like he killed someone. What if his wife knew all about it, but it worked for them? Sometimes we don't agree with it, but it works for some people.

Who. The. Fuck. Knows. Only he will ever know.

Now that he ended his life, every post I see or read are about how sad and unfortunate it is that he made this choice and giving so much sympathy. Why give so much sympathy after all those negative comments?

Other celebrities are honoring his name for being one of the best actors and wishing him that he won't suffer from where he is now. Why do they do this? Instead, why didn't they try to be his support when he was going through tough times when he was alive? I mean, maybe they did. But many celebrities mentioned his talent and how great of a friend/person he was, according to their posts on social media. It kind of makes me sick when they were all silent when he was getting accused of those shits.

I am also extremely sleepy and tired from my night shifts but I really wanted to write this. To remind myself how stupid social media is and how, sometimes, this world sucks.

[smlee89]

울할아버지글씨❤️

[smlee89]

나 결혼식하는거라도 보고 가지

자꾸 이렇게 생각하면 안되는데

어쩔수없나봐

누울때 마다 생각난다

[smlee89]

꽃.동물.손톱.머리.옷.모자.전통무용.수영.노래.미용.

내귀도 뚫어주시고 염색도 해주시고

나 설거지 청소 부엌일 가르쳐주시고

관심도 배우고 싶은것도 많아서 다 배우셨지

나한테 매번 영어 좀 가르쳐달라고 전화로 헬로 굿나잇 그러면서 ㅋㅋㅋ

멋쟁이야 울할무니

[smlee89]

멋진울할무니

이쁘고 시원한 옷 입고 가셨네

[smlee89]

이때가 마지막인줄 알고 손이라도 잡은 사진 찍어놨는데-

건강하실때 이런사진 찍어놓을걸.

할머니 손 잡고 싶을때마다

이사진을보면

찍어놓은게 다행이다 싶기도 하면서

더 보고싶은 마음이 커져 슬프기도하다.

그래도 이때 잡아본게 어디야. 감사해야지.

나 어린적 겨울에 할머니랑 나이아가라폭포에 갔었는데

그때 할머니 손잡고 나갔다가

할머니한테 손이 왜 이렇게 따뜻해? 물어봤더니

할머니 몸이 열이 많아서 밖에가 추워도 손은 항상 따뜻하다면서 손이 난로야! 그랬는데

.

.

.

몇일전 티비에서 죽었다가 다시 살아난 기적의 사람들 이야기엔 다 천국이나 하나님 아님 한번도 보지 못 했던 증조 할머니 할아버지를 봤다던데

우리 할머니는 강하게 하나님께 의지하며 살았으니까

하나님 곁에서 이젠 아프지도 않고 울지도 않을거야...그럼 됬지.

보고싶을땐 주문처럼 이런식으로 생각하자...

[smlee89]

응?

[smlee89]

This is too cute.

[smlee89]

Been sick all week missed work missed halloween

but at least i get a nice view

[smlee89]

나두 가족 있당 ㅠㅠ

에휴

항상 그립고 보고싶은 내가족

더 좋은 추억 만들수있길 🙏❤🥲

[smlee89]

unlocking SHINee World 1/∞ ⤷ onew ▴ prism | 161009 inkigayo

[smlee89]

옛날엔 우리 둘 다 마음이 참 멀었는데- 그치 엄마?

10년+ 지나서 그런지

다른 누구와 마음을 채울려해도

엄마, 아빠, 그리고 오빠의 자리는 못 채우는것 같다.

한땐 다 같이 내마음 한자리에 모여있었는데,

이제는 감사히 내마음에 한명씩 자리를 만든듯..

하지만 세월이 갈수록 한자리씩 공허한걸 느껴서 좀 그립다.

우리는 이제 한가족이 아니라도

그래도 언제든지 볼수있는 거리로 살았음- 내꿈이다

[smlee89]

갑자기 할부지 할머니가 보고싶어서 연락을했다

늘 그러듯 할머니께서 울다가 또 웃으며 얘기를 하시고

할부지께서 조언을 해주시는데

너무 감사했다.

늘 비슷한 대화였어도 웃으면서 통화를 했다.

이런 더 보기 힘든 시기에 이렇게 얼굴을 보면서 얘기를 할수있어서...

너무 행복했다.

간만에.

[smlee89]

These days I really love raining days/thunderstorms.

I love when it gets cloudy and everything is starting to look grey.

Like just now from the thunderstorm I feel like the earth is understanding my deepest feelings inside of me. and I dont feel alone for that time being. it is almost as if it is trying to tell me its okay to feel this way and it will end soon just like how weather flutuates...

But I want to capture this moment....

that in the midst of darkness and thunderstorm I still find some form of peace.

Corpus Christi, USA // By Levi Guzman