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i really like this thing where websites will have separate "log in" & "sign up" buttons and if you click "log in" it takes you to a sign-up screen anyway so you have to click "i already have an account" and then it will ask if you want to sign in with your facebook account or with instagram or linkedin or deviantart or whatever, and if you choose "username & password" it asks if you want to put in your username or use your thumbprint, and once you put your username & password it emails you a confirmation code, and once you put in the code it says "do you want to give us your phone number for future sign-ins? do you want to sign up for facial recognition? do you want to give us your bones? give us your fucking bones?

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To the person anonymously writing slowburn office lady yuri in my DMs

I don't know why you've chosen me for this harassment campaign you've embarked on. I don't know why you feel that my DMs are a better medium for this story than, I don't know, posting them on a writing website?? Or on your own blog??? And most importantly, I don't know why you are laboring under the delusion that I can't report you just because you are sending the chapters anonymously -- I can in fact, and you would be IP banned.

I'm issuing you this ultimatum right now:

Stop sending me your slowburn office lady yuri

OR

I will report you

OR

Send me the next chapter within 24 hours, because are a fucker for where you left it off, and you have not sent a new chapter in several days. I need to know whether, when they were the only two in the office late at night after a brutal crunch week, and the stars could be seen in the sky due to a power outage on their block, and they talked about life, they actually do kiss or if that's another fakeout, of which you have done MANY.

My patience with you has worn thin. Stop sending me this story, or send me more, or I will report you.

Good night.

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what farming items in mmorpgs has taught me: i used to think using ice trays to make ice cubes was free but after thinking about it i have to pay the electric bill to power the freezer so every moment that i’m not freezing new trays of ice cubes is a moment that i’m underutilizing the freezer and increasing the cost of ice cubes. i have to constantly swap out ice trays for new ice cubes on an hourly rotation on a 24 hour basis or else i won’t produce the maximum amount of ice cubes possible and will underutilize the full potential of my electric bill. i need to stop using all other appliances and utilities in my home to make more ice cubes

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Sometimes it is your fault.. Sometimes you don’t listen well enough, you’re selfish, you’re rude and you aren’t always right. Sometimes you fucked it up and tbh that’s okay. It happens, learn from it, apologize and keep it moving. Just because you fucked up doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Don’t dwell on it

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The way a Bachelors degree is the equivalent to a written recommendation from a former store manager at a Circuit City now. Just nuke us already fuck.

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my mans running animation only got two frames

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refilling your pill organiser for you and I've put in a little hotdog shaped like an octopus and a note saying i love you

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the plaid lesbian tgirl medigun

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parents will be like "We're good parents! We did our best!" while their child is alone in their room, terrified of footsteps, unable to conceptualize being loved by anyone.

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really strange how you can be almost at peace with something that happened to you but it will continue to be a defining moment of your life for the rest of your life. you wont think about it much anymore but in a conversation about a film someone will mention the year it was released and you’ll think to yourself, “that was before it happened” and you’ll see an old photo and think how strange it is to have existed before it happened and somehow it’s like living a life in two acts

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I've been seeing a lot of knight posts recently. pretty great