smolangrygay

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If you're having a private phone conversation with the phone off your ear, no headphones, and the speaker on in public, that's a public conversation now. That's an open invite, and I'm going to chime in if I have an opinion. This is now OUR disagreement about your boyfriend's spending habits.

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i have midterms tomorrow and here i am 

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Sometimes I’m tired of being nice. One day your femur will be mine

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Love character arcs where two people start in the same shitty place but one of them starts toward redemption and the other spirals further and further downward. Like yessssss the hardship of choosing to become a better person in spite of who you were before and the people who want you to stay like that. yessssssss suffer and spiral and become worse in spite of the better choice you refuse to accept. yesssssssss the inherent tragedy of losing someone you once loved to the person they are now.

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We ARE so fucking back 🙌

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There was this guy in the 1800s - I can't remember his name, but his name is recorded somewhere - who honestly argued that if given the choice between a beautiful woman and a heron, deep down in their most earnest true heart, every man would rather fuck the heron. And he got mad when people denied this, continuing to deny this what he had decided must be an universal truth, instead of praising him for being the only one who was brave enough to finally say it out loud. Like he really thought that every single person telling him "Jesse what the hell are you talking about" was not only denying him, but denying themselves their true desires and perpetuating the apparently massive cultural lie that herons aren't fuckable.

Anyway what I'm saying here is that every once in a while whenever you find yourself in a situation where nobody else is willing to agree with something that you consider the most obvious truth, take a moment to meditate on the possibility that perhaps they do mean what they say, and perhaps they are right. Maybe nobody else but you wants to fuck the heron.

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i need everyone to see the funniest fucking pigeon rescue in the world

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I cannot stress enough how important it is to do silly, frivolous things that serve no other purpose than making you happy.

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instead of expecting Deaf people to learn a language we can't hear [well] or spend thousands on hearing aids or literally surgically alter our bodies why don't you just learn sign language

"well it's not easy! I can't just learn sign language" and you think the above are easy?

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I haven't seen dancing pumpkin guy ONCE this year, are you guys okay?

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