snarkysarcasm

[snarkysarcasm]

Could you please write a little thing for National Boob Day?

Just One More Minute

Holly went to turn off her alarm clock but found that she was unable to move as her fiancé Gail was laying on top of her. It wasn’t exactly a hardship to have a gorgeous blonde using you as a pillow but the noise of the alarm was getting louder the longer she didn’t turn it off.

“Babe I need my arm.” Holly said as she pressed a kiss to Gail’s head.

“And I need your boobs.” Gail muttered as she burrowed deeper into Holly’s cleavage.

Holly laughed, “You are such a boob girl.”

A groan could be heard from the blonde but she refused to move “Just one more minute, it’s my happy place and I have to work with Price today. I need this.”

“Okay one more minute.”

[snarkysarcasm]

Credit to the anon who sent this to me years ago… Holly is part-time writer with writer's block. She moves house, and the antics of her new, mischievous neighbours (Gail and any combination of the rookies) inspires her to write again. The book inevitably becomes a bestseller. Gail and her roommates show up at a signing. Gail hasn't read the book but her roommates love it and really see themselves in it.

It had been Rachel’s idea really. A change of scenery was supposed to cure her writer’s block. So when a cabin on the lake became available she “just had to take it.” It was fate or whatever. Except Holly still hadn’t written a word and had been living there for a month already.

“I know Lucy, this isn’t working.”

The white cat rubbed against her legs as Holly closed her laptop and let out a frustrated sigh. Another day wasted. She pushed her glasses to the top of her head and rubbed at the bridge of her nose. She already had the start of a headache creeping in. 

“How about a little fresh air, Luc?”

The isolation was supposed to be refreshing. A change of pace from the overcrowded city life of Toronto, but without Lucy, Holly was pretty sure she would’ve lost her mind. 

“At least the view is nice”, she had to admit, as she watched the sun start to set over the lake. She loved the wraparound porch and the rustic feel of the old cabin. She also loved the simplicity.  But the scenery had not been enough to inspire her. She needed something else…

Holly was startled out of her moping by the slamming of car doors.

“Last one in has to sleep on the floor!” A pixie-sized redhead shouted as she sprinted out of a jeep and headed straight towards the lake, shedding clothing as she ran.

Holly was surprised as a rather large group of guys and girls piled out of the jeep and another truck, dropping luggage and racing towards the water.  All except for one blonde woman who seemed to be in no hurry at all as she strutted (yes, strutted) to the shoreline.

Holly couldn’t take her eyes off of her, the woman looked like she had stepped straight off a movie screen. Her hair platinum blonde, her skin pale, and even from the distance Holly could see the deep red stain of lipstick on her lips all seemed too perfect to have been human.  

“Gail, you’re last!”

“It’s my cabin. You all are lucky I even invited you up here.”

“You’re still last.”

“And I have a bedroom that belongs to me. You can sleep on the floor or in the car for all I care, or hitchhike back to the city.”

The redhead tried to splash her, but she was quicker than expected, considering the lack of running.

“Do that again and I will end you, you Disney princess.”

Holly laughed from her porch as she watched one of the taller guys try to sneak behind the blonde to toss her into the lake only to get flipped into the water himself.

“That’s what you get, Diaz. Anyone else feeling stupid?”

The challenge seemed to be accepted by the entire group as they ganged up on the blonde. She wasn’t able to fend them all off and ended up in the water with the whole lot. She pulled herself out and the way she stomped on the dock reminded Holly of Lucy getting wet. 

Holly opened up her laptop and started typing.

---

Holly was surprised when she walked out to find an entire obstacle course created. She wasn’t sure where all of it came from but each team certainly had a fair share of hiding places. 

She pushed her laptop to the side and watched as the two teams attacked each other with paintballs. They seemed to take it very seriously and tactically.  She couldn’t exactly tell who was who but she thought she saw a flash of a blonde ponytail heading towards a large tower in the center. She was right and Holly couldn’t help but smile at the proud way the blonde held the stuffed camel over her head and let out a victory yell.

She could hear the group bickering about whether the toy was a camel or a giraffe. Holly sided with Gail’s impassioned declaration that the animal was a giraffe despite the evidence otherwise.

She pulled her laptop back to herself. Maybe there was something here.

—

“Dov!! Did you eat my cheesepuffs?”

“No,” Came the muffled reply and then heavy footsteps and slamming doors.

“You better run!”

Holly watched the blonde show an impressive agility as she chased the skinny man out to the dock. She was clearly on a seek and destroy mission.

Lucy hopped up onto the rail but Holly couldn’t take her eyes off of her neighbors, well one neighbor in particular.

“I know, Lucy, I wouldn’t mess with her cheesepuffs either.”

Holly hunched over her computer, the words seemed to be filling the pages in no time at all whenever her blonde muse was around. But who was she to look a gift horse in the mouth? If inspiration wanted to strike when a gorgeous woman moved into the lake house near her with a group of hooligans, then she had to take advantage of it. 

And if inspiration happened to spend a lot of time in a bikini, well she wasn’t one to judge.

—

“Lucy? Luc? Where are you, troublemaker?” 

Holly had already searched the small cabin three times, she had left out treats, tried tuna, and everything else she could think of. But Lucy hadn’t shown up for breakfast and Holly was starting to worry when she heard a knock on her door.

She was stunned when her disgruntled muse was holding her even more digruntled feline.

“Is this demon cat yours?”

“Lucy! Oh thank god, where did you find her?” 

“In my bed.”

“What? How?” Holly couldn’t help being a little jealous of her own cat who was wrapping herself around Holly’s legs now that she was home.

“I was wondering the same thing.”

“I’m so so sorry, She usually doesn’t wonder that far from the porch. How did you know she was mine?”

“I thought I had seen her out here with you. You’re new here.”

“I am. Holly, Holly Stewart.”

“Gail.”

Holly waited for the usual follow-up question about what brought her to the lake. But the question never came. Instead the blonde sized her up and Holly felt a little warm under the scrutiny. She wished she had brushed her hair and put on a better bra if she had known she’d be getting such a gorgeous visitor.

“So Holly Stewart…are you a jock by any chance?”

She laughed, mostly at how random the question was.

“What gave it away?”

“You’re wearing a Jays hat.”

“Oh, yeah, umm…”

“There’s also the flannel and the backpacks.”

“Are you implying something?”

“Me? No. But your wardrobe…”

Holly both hated and loved the smirk on the other woman’s face.

“Well I wouldn’t borrow anything from your wardrobe?”

“What’s wrong with my wardrobe?”

“Nothing, just not my style. Why are you looking for a jock?”

“The idiots I’m letting visit me are determined to play a game of softball and we need another player.”

“Another player? How many of you are there?”

“Okay, truth is I’m looking for someone to take my place.”

“You don’t play?”

“I don’t really do sports.”

“But you like to win.” Holly remembered vividly the joy when the blonde won the giraffe, er camel.

“I do like to win but I also don’t like to embarrass myself.”

“I could help, you know, at least enough to not embarrass yourself.”

Seeming to weigh out her options, blue eyes gave Holly another once over.

“Meet me at the dock at noon.”

“It’s a date.” Holly internally cringed as soon as the words left her mouth. And even Lucy gave her a pathetic look.

“You’re going to have to do better than batting practice for a date. See you later Holly Stewart. Bye Lucifer.”

Holly hate to say goodbye but damn did she love to watch her go.

“Well Luc I want to be mad at you for scaring me but you are also my hero. So extra treats tonight.”

“Meow.”

—-

Batting practice didn’t quite go as expected as the bat went flying and Gail let out the girliest shriek that Holly had ever heard as soon as she took her first swing.

“I told you, I don’t do sports!” Gail shouted as she started to storm away.

Holly tried to hold in her giggles as she went after the infuriated woman.

“Hey, Gail, come back.”

“No.”

“Wait.”

“No, I told you I was going to embarrass myself.”

“It wasn’t that embarrassing.” Holly found herself on the receiving end of an infamously icy glare. “Okay it was…” the blonde started to stomp away again but Holly caught her by the arm. “Come on, something new won’t kill you. It almost killed me but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.I promised to teach you. Let me. Please? I’m a woman of my word.”

“Fine, but if you can’t, then you’re playing instead of me.”

“Deal.”

Gail begrudgingly picked up the bat and headed back to the spot where they were practicing.

“First, we need to fix your stance. May I?”

As Holly assumed a position behind Gail, the blonde quipped, “No wonder you volunteered to teach me.”

“I’m a hands-on kind of coach.” But yes, in Holly’s gayest fantasies she imagined just this scenario. She may have even written about it in chapter 7 of her book.

“Okay so you want to square your hips so you have a good center of gravity.” Holly gently put her hands on the blondes waist and used her feet to spread her legs a bit more. “You want to have a little bend and carry your weight on your back foot as you turn.”

She helped Gail through a couple of swings before she reluctantly let go of her protege. She was already missing the warmth of her body but she had a game to teach and a ball to throw

“Choke up a little on the bat, and most importantly…Don’t let go.”

“Very funny.”

It took a few pitches, but Gail held onto the bat, and despite her protests took Holly’s advice. On the fourth pitch she finally connected and sent it sailing over Holly’s head.

“Oh my god, I did it. Did you see that? I hit a home run!”

“Probably would’ve been a double.” Another icy glare went her way and Holly changed her tune. “Definitely a home run!”

__

Holly had a perfect view of the game from her porch. She watched as Gail’s friends heckled her at the plate.

The thin, asthmatic looking cheesepuff thief she had heard them call Dov, seemed to be the most ruthless in mocking Gail.

He was also the one whose jaw nearly hit the ground when at her first time at the plate Gail sent a linedrive well past their outfield. 

Holly smiled to herself when Gail rounded the bases and then looked over to where she was sitting and tipped her hat in her direction. She could see that wolfish smile even from the distance and felt her nerdy heart skip a beat.

—

Holly and Lucy returned from their trek to the nearest market to find a blonde visitor waiting on their porch.

“I was starting to wonder if you ever left this spot.”

“Lucy here was precariously low on catfood.”

“I thought the devil fed off of virgin sacrifices?”

“And tuna.” Holly shook the bag in her hand and Lucy perked up at the mention of her favorite can. “What brings you to my side of the lake?”

“Celebratory drinks.” Gail held up a bottle of tequila. “Please tell me you have a blender.”

“I have a blender and I think I still have ice.”

“My hero.”

They headed inside and Holly set about putting away her groceries and retrieving the requested blender.

“Did you enjoy doing sports today?”

“Enjoy is a strong word.” Gail argued as she unceremoniously began snooping through Holly’s living space.

 “An analysis of an autopsy. Do you really read this stuff?”

“I wrote that stuff.”

Gail simply nodded and went to the kitchen to make the margaritas. Despite Holly offering her glasses, Gail brought the blender out to the porch with them.

Gail pulled the other chair across the porch to sit closer and they enjoyed their drinks while watching the sun set over the lake.

After all the time Holly had watched the blonde’s shenanigans with her friends, she was a little surprised at how pensive she could be.

“I’m like a cat, Holly.”

“Is that why you pick fights with Lucy?”

Gail ignored her and continued, “I'm very good at climbing trees and then the minute that I get up there I don't-I have no idea what to do. I want to get down but I don't know how to do that, so I create an emergency situation to get out of it." 

"Out of the tree?"

"Of relationships."

“Ah. I used to be like that too. Turns out I didn’t like men.”

“I don’t Ike them either.”

“I mean I’m a lesbian.”

“I mean I hate people.”

“You also hate cats.”

“Your cat hates me.”

“You call her Lucifer.”

“If the name fits…” 

Lucy looked over from where she had been cleaning herself to give Gail a dirty look before resuming her bath.

“If you hate people so much, why did you come over here, Gail?”

Holly wasn’t entirely sure what emboldened her to ask. Maybe it was the tequila. Maybe it was being out of her comfort zone. Maybe it was just her natural curiosity. Or her hopeful gay heart speaking before her mind could catch up. 

“What’re you doing tomorrow night?”

Other than trying to finish the book that her editor was getting anxious for, now that Holly had sent her the first few chapters, “Not much why?”

“We’re heading back to the city Sunday morning and the heathens are very set on having a bonfire before we go. Do you want to come? You can be my plus one.”

—-

It would’ve been impossible to miss even if Holly hadn’t been invited to the giant fire they had created next to the lake. But this group never seemed to be satisfied with anything less than pure chaos. 

She tried to brush off the nervousness she felt. She wasn’t that gawky teenager going to a party with her first crush. She was a grown ass woman who had many (well at least multiple) relationships with other women and this wasn’t a date anyway. It was just hanging out with Gail and her friends next to a rather large fire. But as soon as she saw the blonde her heart betrayed her by pounding a mile a minute.

“Holly, hey.”

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

“You said that already.”

“You know it sounded familiar.”

Holly smirked. If she didn’t know any better she would think that Gail was nervous too. But they were quickly interrupted by the rest of the group.

“Hey Gail, who's your friend?”

After that it was a flurry of names and faces as Gail introduced her to the various people who supplied her with endless entertainment that summer. And alcohol. A lot of alcohol.

And at some point Holly found herself being pulled by Gail away from the group but still near the fire until it was just them.

“Sorry to subject you to the barbarians.”

“I like your friends. They seem nice.”

“I think you need a new prescription if what you saw was considered nice.”

“They are talkers.”

“That’s all they do! And so upbeat.”

“Happy people are the worst.”

“Right?! I knew inviting you was the right choice.”

“Because I’m not happy?”

“You’re not a Disney princess or a girl guide.”

“Cause that would just be the worst.”

“It would be a deal breaker for sure.”

“You’re insane. You know that, right?”

But Gail just smiled at her and Holly was convinced the fire was playing tricks on her when it looked like Gail was looking at her lips. She wanted to kiss her. To bridge the gap between them that wasn’t more than a few inches anyway. But just as Holly was starting to lean a little closer a bucket of cold water rained down on them.

“Dov! I’m going to murder you!”

And then Gail was racing off to exact revenge and the opportunity was gone. It wasn’t long after that the night was winding down and Holly knew she should head back to her place.

“I’m sorry about that but I warned you they were heathens.”

“This was fun. Plus ones forever.” Holly offered as she bumped her shoulder into Gail’s.

It seemed like the blonde wanted to say something else but she didn’t and Holly made the short walk back to her house alone.

—-

After a restless night’s sleep, Holly didn’t want to get out of bed the next morning. She heard the loud voices and the slamming doors. But watching Gail leave was too much. So she stayed in bed with Lucy and poured what she was feeling onto the screen in front of her

---

“It’s about a bunch of rookie cops who all work for the same division. There’s this one awesome group of friends who are always getting into a bunch of messy situations and are goofing around but also taking care of each other and the city. My favorite is the redhead obviously.” Chloe chattered as they entered the bookstore.

Andy was quick to chime in, “Yeah, well my favorite is Alexandria, she seems so noble. The way the author writes the book, it just really makes you see yourself in the story.” 

“Did you read it yet, Gail?” Chloe was practically vibrating with excitement.

Gail rolled her eyes, “I already told you Chipmunk that I’m not joining your stupid book club, so no I didn’t read it.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Traci promised me dinner after.”

“I did no such thing.”

“Yep, the new sushi place down the street. If I am standing in this long line then you can bet your ass that I am being fed. Also why is this line so long? Who wrote this thing anyway?”

“That’s part of the fun, it’s a mystery. The author used a pseudonym and didn’t put a picture in the jacket.” Chloe explained.

“There’s no picture?”

“Well there is one, technically, but it’s of a white cat in a tree. I don’t think a cat wrote it.” Andy joked.

“Yeah, that’s why we wanted to come, so we could finally see who the author is.” Traci added.

A white cat? “Let me see that.” Gail grabbed the book and started to flip through it.

—-

Holly wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but she certainly didn’t expect such a crowd over something she wrote. As she sat at the table signing copy after copy, it was almost overwhelming. She was at the point where was barely looking up and her editor just kept handing another book.

“Hey, you’re Gail’s friend from the lake!”

Holly’s head shot up at the mention of Gail and the familiar voice. Sure enough she was face to face with three of Gail’s friends. All holding a copy of her book. Which meant they read it. Fuck!

“Oh my god I can’t believe you wrote this. And I can’t believe we actually know the mystery writer. This is so cool. Your book is amazing.”

“Thanks, thank you. I appreciate it.” As Holly was signing the copies she glanced around but there was no platinum blonde in sight.

“Gail isn’t with you?”

“She was, but she left.”

“Oh.” Holly’s disappointment must’ve shown.

“But I bet if she had known you wrote this, she totally would’ve stayed.”

Holly doubted that very much, but she forced a smile as they asked to take a picture with her. And just like that they were gone and the line kept moving. But the sinking feeling never left.

—-

After the signing, Holly packed up Lucy and headed out to the lake house. She told her editor it was because she needed to finish packing now that her rental was up and the book tour was about to start. But if she was being honest that wasn’t the only reason. She knew that Gail had no reason to be out there at this time. But it didn’t stop her from hoping. 

She spent the entire drive thinking of what she would say if the blonde did happen to show up. If it played out like a romcom and the woman that she had fallen for was sitting on her porch waiting to confront her about secretly writing a book about her. A love story really. Holly had dedicated the book to all “the cats who get stuck in trees and the people who help them back down.” Still she had never actually expected Gail or her friends to read it. But they had, and now Holly had to make things right.

She was a writer after all. So the words would come naturally of course. She’d say just the right thing at the right moment and Gail would understand that the book was…a mistake. God, she never should’ve written it, let alone published it and especially not without telling Gail first that that’s what she was doing out at the lake. 

“I’m an idiot, Luc. A certifiable idiot.”

“Meow.”

“Thanks for the support.”

As Holly pulled into her driveway she could see a small light on her porch and boots on her railing. She walked up to find her dream girl clad in leather and any words she had prepared left her.

But she didn’t need to speak because as soon as she stepped out of the car and towards the steps, Gail greeted her with…

“I’m like a cat, Hailey. I’m really good at climbing trees…Hmm why does that sound so familiar?”

“Gail, I am so sorry. I never meant for you to find out like this.”

“That you wrote a book about me and my idiot friends? Why didn’t you tell me that’s what you were doing all that time that you were spying on us?”

“I wasn’t spying and I wanted to tell you but I didn’t know how to contact you, you weren’t at the lake and I didn’t know your last name, and I honestly never thought you’d read it or that it was going to get published. It all happened so fast. I never thought I’d write anything. When I first got here there was nothing but blank pages, and then you moved in and suddenly the words weren’t a struggle anymore. Every time I saw you I was inspired. You were the only thing that helped me get over my block and then I sent some pages to my editor who loved it and wanted more. And then you showed up holding Lucy and then I was helping you learn to bat and you were making margaritas and asking me to be your plus one and I didn’t know that I’d finish it or it would get published but that’s no excuse because I should’ve told because we tell each other things and that’s what so great about us but I completely ruined it. I’m sor-“

And Holly’s torrent of barely sensical words were cut off by the press of Gail’s lips.

“Sorry you just-you just had to stop talking.”

“I won’t say another word.”

Holly was prepared not to take another breath so long as it meant Gail didn’t let her go. And she was rewarded by another more tentative kiss. 

When they finally broke apart, Holly was breathless and her heart was pounding but she still had a nagging feeling of guilt.”

“I am really sorry, Gail.”

“You’re sorry that I inspired a really successful book that is going to make you filthy rich? Do I get royalties? Also is this sex scene in chapter 12 also based on your experiences or pure imagination?”

“More like wishful thinking.”

“Good to know.”

[snarkysarcasm]

Make a Wish

For @gail-shark's birthday

Here’s the prompt: My neighbor’s at my door asking if everything’s alright because it smells like something is burning and I was only trying to bake my own birthday cake but she doesn’t need to know that and this is embarrassing but they decide to help me fix this mess.

For the third time in an hour the smoke alarm has gone off and Gail is just about ready to throw in the towel on this whole baking thing, perhaps Elaine was on the right track by always ordering from the bakery. She pulled the lopsided charred mess of what was supposed to be her birthday cake out of the oven and threw it in the sink. “Happy birthday to me.” Gail muttered as she took the fourth and last box of cake mix out of the cupboard; she’d been prepared for her first attempt to go awry and had bought extras, Pecks were always prepared for disaster, however, they weren’t accustom to complete and utter failure. Gail had to accept that this birthday was going to suck just like the previous 29 had. She read over the instructions again as she heard a knock at the door. 

She wasn’t expecting anyone, hardly anyone she knew had even been to her new apartment; and she’d made it a point not to clue anyone in on it being her 30th birthday. Gail peeked through the peephole and saw a tall dark haired woman on the other side of the door wearing periodic table pajama pants and a tank top; Gail recognized her as being her next door neighbor, 4B. She opened the door, “Can I help you?”

Her neighbor adjusted her glasses, “I kept hearing a smoke alarm go off and got concerned, I just wanted to make sure that you were okay.”

Gail frowned, of course she heard the alarm, the entire floor had probably heard it. “Sorry about that, with my many talents it turns out that baking isn’t one of them. I don’t know where I’m going wrong, I’ve followed the directions to a tee.”

Her neighbor perked up, “Oh! You’re baking? Perhaps I can help, baking is actually one of my hobbies. I’m Holly by the way...I probably should have lead with that. Holly Stewart...” she gestured over her shoulder, “4B.”

“Gail Peck, 4A...You don’t have to help.”

Holly shook her head, “I don’t have to do anything, I want to help.”

“Okay then but I have to warn you it doesn’t seem to matter what I do everything catches on fire.”

“I like a challenge.”

Gail led Holly into her kitchen, there were a few boxes leftover from her move that still needed to get unpacked in the corner. “I felt that cake was more important than unpacking tupperware.” Gail offered as explanation when she saw Holly looking at the boxes.

“No judgment from me, I moved into my place almost a year ago and still have boxes of books in the closet, besides you don’t need any excuse to bake a cake. Now lets’ see what we’re working with...okay it looks like all we’ll need are eggs, water, and oil.” Holly said as she read off the back of the box. She started to gather up the mixing bowl and necessary items. Gail contented herself to sit on one of the island stools and watch as Holly turned on the oven and set about to mix the ingredients together. There was something very attractive about watching the woman fold in the oil. Not for the first time Gail had wondered why it had taken her almost thirty years to realize that she was a lesbian.

“So you bake as a hobby?” Gail asked as she tried very hard not to stare at the way Holly’s breasts moved as she whisked.

Holly smiled, “My grandparents own a bakery and I used to spend a lot of time there growning up. I even thought about joining the family business but I hated getting up at 2 a.m. to bake bread.”

“Understandable, I hate getting up that early. What do you do then if you’re not a baker?”

“I went a completely different direction, I’m a doctor.”

“Impressive...not as impressive as being a baker but I’m sure that your parents are proud.” Gail teased.

Holly chuckled, “They are very proud, they like to boast that I learned my chemistry skills by baking cream puffs. What is that you do Gail?”

Gail shifted on the stool, “I went into the family business and I’m a police officer. Most of my family are cops.”

Holly set down the spatula and took as hard look at Gail and had a look of recognition. “I knew that you looked familiar and that I knew you from somewhere. I saw you at a crime scene down by the lake a few weeks ago, the gang shooting. I was the on-call pathologist, you’re at the 15 right?”

Gail wracked her mind to think back to that day, it had been hectic, 6 victims had died on the scene and another 12 had been injured. It had been all hands on deck to detain and interview; Gail had a brief memory of one of the lab nerds in an ugly green jacket. “You were the one to notice that one of the victims had also been stabbed. It was because of you that we determined how the shooting had even started. You did some awesome work.”

Holly shrugged off the praise, “Just doing my job.”

“How come I haven’t seen you at work before?”

Holly poured the batter into a greased pan, “I normally work out of the north district, I got called into help since central was overwhelmed. I don’t work with 15 often.”

Gail nodded, “That makes sense, pretty sure that I’d remember you.”

“Oh really?” Holly said with her back to Gail as she put the cake in the oven and set the timer.

Now Gail was no amateur when it came to flirting but the truth was that she was new at flirting with women. She’d downloaded and deleting her online dating profile three times since she came to grips that she was interested in women. To be honest she was pretty nervous around attractive women and Holly was probably the most attractive woman that she’d ever spoken too that she wasn’t arresting. But as nervous as Gail was she felt like taking a chance.

“I think you’re pretty memorable.” Gail inwardly groaned at how dumb she sounded.

“Well we might have a chance to work together more often, I put in for a transfer to central to be the new lead pathologist.” Holly said as she sat down on the stool next to Gail.

“You’d be a big improvement over Dr. Fartsalot, he smells like gym socks soaked in rancid thousand island dressing.”

Holly laughed, “That’s scarily specific and I kinda want to know how you know what that smells like but I’m scared to ask and Dr. Farstolat isn’t that bad he just has a glandular issue.”

Gail smirked “Well you smell much better.”

At that Holly raised her eyebrow and gave her a lopsided smile, perhaps Gail’s flirting skills were improving. It looked Holly was about to comment but instead picked up the can of bright pink frosting. “You never said why you were baking a cake, any special occasion?”

Gail was going to lie, she planned on lying, in fact the lie was on the tip of her tongue when she blurted out, “It’s my birthday!” Holly looked a bit taken a back from the outburst so Gail continued, “I’ve never baked a cake before, I’ve never even had a homemade cake before and this year...well this year has been a lot of first for me: first time living alone, first time telling my mother no when she tried to set me up on a blind date, first time accepting that maybe the reason all my relationships fail is because they were with men and so I thought what the hell I’ll bake a cake! What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

Gail might have continued with her rambling if not for a pair of extremely soft lips pressing against her own. As far as first kisses go Gail had to give this one top marks, just the right amount of pressure and...oh...Holly knew what she was doing with her tongue as Gail leaned into the kiss.

Holly pulled back, “Was that okay?” Gail didn’t answer in words as she chased Holly’s lips with her own. They continued kissing until a very familiar alarm started blaring. Holly reluctantly extricated herself from Gail’s grabby hands to pulled the smoking cake out of the oven. “I think I know why all your cakes burned, you have a broken timer.”  

Gail groaned as this cake joined the other scorched ones in the sink.  Holly offered up a sad shrug, “At least it wasn’t something that you did.” She walked towards Gail and stood between her knees and put her hands on Gail’s shoulders. “Now I know that this is really last minute and we barely know each other but maybe I could take you out for dinner tonight for your birthday?” 

“Yes.”

Holly brightened and pressed a kiss to Gail’s forehead, “Excellent, I’m gonna go change into something that isn’t pajama pants and I’ll be right back.” 

Gail watched Holly rush out the door as she touched her lips, her first kiss with a woman...30 was looking up.

~ One Year later~

Gail woke to the feeling of her girlfriend sitting next to her in their bed and heard her softly sing:

“Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday sweet Gai...”

Holly didn’t get to finish singing as Gail pulled her in for a kiss, “You made me a cake.”

Holly kissed her back, “I figured that you were way past due a homemade birthday cake. Now blow out the candles and make a wish.” Gail looked at the woman that she loved and realized that she had almost everything she could ever wish for...almost. All she needed was Holly to say yes when she asked her to marry her. Gail smiled as she blew out the candles; she had a good feeling that her wish would come true.

[snarkysarcasm]

Love in Lockdown

When Toronto is thrown into lockdown due to a surge in coronavirus cases, Gail is forced to confront her feelings for her friend Holly while navigating lockdown together under the same roof.

Read Week 1 on Ffnet or A03

[snarkysarcasm]

Prompt: calling my gf my wife to get her reaction

There was one thing Gail Peck was certain of and that was that she was absolutely, 100%, undeniably in love with Holly. In her gut she knew that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with her nerdy girlfriend but she was a bit worried about proposing since they'd only been dating for 8 months and didn't want to rush the pathologist into marriage.

Gail had bought a ring but that kernel of uncertainty was nagging at her so she decided to test the waters. With Holly reading on the couch she sat down next to her and pulled out her phone, "Do you want to have date night at Phasma's bistro or that new Mediterranean place?" Gail asked.

"Let's try the new place." Holly answered without looking up from her book.

Gail nodded as she typed in the number, she steeled her nerves and hit the call button. "Hi, I was hoping to reserve a table on the patio for my wife and I for 7 tonight... ooh you have a sampler menu... yes I think my wife and I would like to try that... sure I can hold."

"Wife?" Holly asked as she crawled onto Gail's lap. "You called me your wife..."Holly cooed as she kissed Gail's cheek, one side and then the other before pecking her lips, "You love me and want me to be your wife."

"I'm on the phone." Gail half heartedly protested as Holly continued to kiss her.

"You can call back." Holly countered as she slid her hands under Gail's shirt.

"Good point." Gail was about to hangup when the restaurant reception came back on the line.

"Ma'am? Can I have your name for the reservation?"

Holly took the phone from Gail's hands. "Put the reservation under Mrs and Mrs Stewart-Peck. Thanks bye." She dropped the phone and went back to feeling up Gail.

"So the Stewart-Pecks? Why not the Peck- Stewarts?" Gail teased as she pulled Holly closer.

Holly started to unbutton her shirt, "We can discuss it after you propose."

As usual Gail's mind went blank when seeing Holly's boobs, honestly Gail didn't care what their last name would be as long as she got to call Holly her wife.

[snarkysarcasm]

hey! apparently i missed when you did a bunch of gail x holly fic uploads onto ao3 last year. it's tumblr's loss for purging quality fics. but thank you for re-uploading them so we can enjoy! i really missed them and your fics are lovely.

Aww shucks, thanks Anon. You’ve warmed the cockles of the barren hole in my chest where a heart should be.

[snarkysarcasm]

@witkneec...something like this....

Gail hadn’t known.

Or at least she hadn’t realized it.

But she definitely knew now.

Holly had a special vibe going. Sure she was nerdy and athletic, she dragged her to batting cages and woke Gail up with her morning runs. She babbled about bones and science and weird, gross, cool stuff until Gail shut her up with kisses. But there was something else going on that night.

It was just a quiet night in Holly’s place. Gail was watching a trashy television show and Holly was reading some book. Her glasses slipping down on the bridge of her nose, her hair pulled back into a loose bun. Just a couple of buttons undone as always. Yet, Holly was sexy and Gail was having a hard time keeping her eyes on the television.

“Are you going to stare all night?”

She could see the slight smirk on Holly’s face even though she kept her eyes on the book and turned the page.

“Anyone ever tell you that you look like a sexy librarian?”

Holly laughed and put the book down, she turned to Gail and slid her glasses down slightly more, “Since when are librarians sexy?”

“What do you mean? Librarians are always sexy. Knitted sweaters, glasses, bossiness.”

“Is that what does it for you?”

Gail shrugged, “You’re what does it for me.”

“Come here,” Holly demanded and she tugged Gail into her lap. 

“I’m going to need to see your library card if you’d like to check something out.”

Gail tried not to laugh, “Hmm, you’re probably going to help me find it. I can’t seem to remember where I put it.”

“Hmm.”

Holly’s hands slid up the sides of Gail’s jean clad thighs, they hooked into Gail’s front pockets. “Not there.”

Gail smirked as the roaming hands slid around to the back pockets, she felt Holly give her ass a firm squeeze. “Nope not there either.”

“I don’t know if you’re looking hard enough.”

“Might need to do a strip search.”

Holly’s hand slid up Gail's shirt. “Are you one of those people that keeps valuables in their bra?”

“You’re probably going to need to check for yourself. I clearly can’t be trusted.”

Holly pulled Gail’s shirt over her head and tossed it.  “Hmm...I think that’s going to need to go too.” 

Gail could feel the goosebumps rising under Holly’s fingertips as they dragged up her sides and around to her back. Holly undid her bra and it was quick to join her discarded shirt. The cold air hit her chest but it was Holly’s warm lips and tongue on her that caused her to gasp.

Holly dropped a kiss on her sternum on her way to the other breast. “Hmmm...Still can’t find it. Looks like you’re going to have to pay the fine.”

“No money.” Gail mumbled, she couldn’t stop herself from grinding down a little as Holly’s tongue and teeth started teasing her.

Holly’s hands moved back to her hips and pulled her down harder. Gail’s hands tangled into Holly’s hair. She tugged a little, and Holly pulled back long enough for Gail to connect their lips. She had never wanted anyone like this. Not Chris. Not Nick. They could never get her as turned on as Holly did, or as quickly. 

She had started to grind down harder, she knew she was wet and she needed friction, something, anything to give her some relief. She felt Holly’s hands tighten.

“Up.” Holly demanded between kisses. Gail lifted up enough to get rid of the annoying clothing. She didn’t bother leaving anything between her and Holly.

Holly reached up to take off her glasses.

“Leave them.”

“Come back here.” Holly pulled Gail back into her lap. Gail was enjoying the bossiness. It wasn’t just the words. It was the way Holly’s kisses stole her breath and the way her fingers dug into her hips setting Gail’s pace for her, slow but purposeful. 

Finally, one of Holly’s hands moved lower. Gail was ready for the release. But it seemed Holly had another plan. Her fingers ghosted their way between the slickness, Gail only felt the slightest brush.

“Fuck, Holly, don’t tease me.”

“I told you that you’d have to pay the fine.”

Gail whimpered. She wanted Holly inside of her. Yet, Holly’s fingers continued to only give her the softest touches, and her other hand was forcing Gail to move slowly. Dragging herself along Holly’s hand, feeling her clit start to throb. Anytime Gail tried to get more, to press harder, Holly’s fingers danced away.

“Hoooolllllllllyy.” She knew that she was whining.

“Tell me what you want.”

“I want you.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to fuck me. Fuck me, Holly, I want you inside of me.”

“Why didn’t you just say so,” 

Gail gasped as two fingers entered her hard. She grabbed the back of the couch as Holly finally stopped teasing her. She wasn’t gentle with the way her fingers curled inside of Gail.

“More, God, I want more.”

And Holly obliged, adding a third finger, and pressing Gail’s hips to move faster. The heel of Holly’s hand pressed against her clit with each thrust and Gail knew that it wasn’t going to last much longer. She felt Holly’s lips on her chest again. When her teeth closed around one of her nipples, the pain and pleasure sent Gail over the edge, she clenched hard around Holly’s fingers and Holly slowed to draw out her climax. 

Gail finally came down from her high and she felt Holly pull out of her but her hand stayed between Gail’s legs.

“That’s one.”

“One?” Gail panted.

Holly laughed. “It’s a hefty fine...”  

---

Walking through the warehouse with Dov, Gail could still feel the soreness between her legs. “Well she’s great. She’s like the smartest person I’ve ever met in like a kind of sexy librarian sort of way, which... who knew...that’s, that’s my thing!”

[snarkysarcasm]

Here's a prompt: Holly's car breaks down outside of town and a motorcyclist stops to help.

“No, no, no...C’mon Denise….please don’t do this to me now.”

But Holly’s engine temperature needle continued its treacherous ascent to H. She turned her heat on and rolled down her windows but it wasn’t enough. She pulled off to the side of the road when the engine started to smoke.

She was almost an hour away from the city and still a couple away from Lisa’s lake house. She had taken the backroads to give herself a break from the craziness, and the city, and just people in general. She had hoped the open space and fresh air would clear her mind of her last autopsy, but she never expected her always faithful, always reliable Jeep to fail her when she needed it most.

“15 years together, Denise, and this is how you treat me? No warning. Just an - it’s not you, it’s me. I see how it is...” Holly muttered as she lifted her hood.

Steam poured out and Holly sighed. She glanced up and down the road but there was no one and nothing but trees in sight. She pulled out her phone to call Rachel or Lisa.

“Of course. No service. Just what I needed.” She pinched the bridge of her nose to stop the tears from coming and swallowed the lump in her throat. This was not what she needed this weekend.

If she was thinking clearly she would’ve known better than to grab a towel and remove the radiator cap before the engine had a chance to cool, but she was still recovering from a week of double shifts and nightmares about the body on her table until the case had been solved. But blaming the sleep deprivation didn’t stop the scalding pain from shooting through her hand as the cap flew off the second she loosened it.

“Motherfu- arghhhhhhh.”

She grabbed her hand and jumped away from the car. At least now she had a different reason for tears. She was stuck in the middle of nowhere and would have to walk back to the city with what she hoped was only first degree burns on her hand.

Great. Fucking great.

She was already thinking of all the other things that could possibly go wrong before she made it back to town, which definitely wouldn’t happen before nightfall when she heard the rumbling of an engine.

She could see a motorcyclist making their way down the hill towards her.

“Please don’t be a murderer.” Holly whispered to herself as the bike slowed on its approach to her.

A Yamaha FJR1300. Even if the person was a murderer, they at least had good taste.

“Need some help?”

Holly wanted to respond but she forgot what words were. She was bombarded with platinum blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, and a whole lot of leather. If she thought the bike was stunning, it had nothing on its owner.

The blonde raised an eyebrow and Holly snapped out of her gay dreams. “Umm, ahem, yeah, yes, please. Denise overheated and I don’t have any cell service to call for a friend.”

“Denise?” The blonde walked past Holly and looked at the fluid that was still pouring out of the bubbling radiator.

Holly couldn’t help the way her eyes dropped to check out the lithe, leather bound woman leaning over her car. She needed to distract herself.

“Yeah, after Denise McCluggage. She was an American racing driver, journalist, author, and photographer. She was also a pioneer of equality for women in the U.S. for both racing and journalism. She wrote for the New York Herald Tribune as a sports journalist in 1954, around the same time that she ditched her MG for a Jaguar XK140 and began to race professionally. She won the grand touring category at Sebring in a Ferrari 250 GT in 1961…”

Blue eyes snapped onto her.

“Why are you saying all these words?”

Holly had a habit of nervous rambling, especially around beautiful women. The way the blonde growled at her made her want to ramble even more but she stopped herself and held up her injured hand.

“Delirious?”

The blonde’s snarl dropped and she gently grabbed Holly’s reddened hand. “Jeeze, Nerd, you know all that about one chick but not to touch hot things?”

Nope, Holly had definitely not learned that lesson considering how badly she wanted to touch her newfound acquaintance. Definitely delirious.

“It’s only a first degree burn, it could’ve been worse.”

“How would you know? Are you some kind of doctor.”

“Forensic pathologist. I’m Holly, by the way.”

“Gail. I’d shake your hand but I wouldn’t want to give you a higher degree burn.” Gail smirked at the look of confusion. “I saw you checking out my ass.”

Holly was sure her cheeks were as red as her hand by now.

“You know, I had hoped you weren’t one of those, names-their-car kind of people.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“I think I’ll help you out anyway. I don’t have any service either but I could give you a lift.”

“Are you sure?”

“No.” Gail shrugged, “But you’re injured and stuck and I live to serve and protect so…”

Holly wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Even if she had a hard time taking her eyes off of Gail’s red stained lips. The blonde could murder her any day. “A ride would be great.”

“Where were you heading?”

“Up to a friend’s lake house but the city is probably closer.”

“Probably has more mechanics too. And actual medical assistance if you need it.”

“Yeah...probably…” But Holly really didn’t want to go back, no matter how much sense it made. She was trying to contain her disappointment.

“But…I was heading out this way anyway, I don’t mind a longer drive if you don’t.”

“I don’t. I really don’t. But are you sure it’s not too much of an inconvenience?”

“Buy me dinner and tequila and I could probably lessen it to a nuisance.”

“Deal.”

Gail headed back to her bike and patted the seat behind her. Holly slid on and had no choice but to press herself against her leather-clad heroine.

“Keep it up, Nerd, and you’ll be buying me breakfast too.”

Holly smirked and held on a little tighter to her newfound luck.

[snarkysarcasm]

I’m sort of in the mood to write...someone inspire me with a prompt???

[snarkysarcasm]

Wynonna Earp

Pastel pencils on Canson paper.

[x]

[snarkysarcasm]

Mixed media painting of Ahsoka and Grogu.

Instagram

[snarkysarcasm]

[snarkysarcasm]

Happy National Hugging Day. Could you please hug River and then maybe write a fic titled “I Don’t Do Hugs”?

Gail was sipping her beer when she saw Holly enter the Black Penny with Chloe not far behind her. She quickly stood to embrace her girlfriend and give her a 'thank God you're here' kiss. "Hey."

Holly kissed her back, "Hey yourself, I'm going to go grab a drink want anything?"

"Nah, I'm good. I was hoping not to stay too long tonight, we have that movie to finish." Gail answered as she winked hoping that Holly would catch on that she wanted to go back to her place and not finish the movie that they'd been trying to watch for 2 weeks but kept having sex on the couch instead.

Holly nodded eagerly, "Yes! The movie...I really want to see what happens next." She pointed to the bar, "One drink and we'll go."

With a chuckle Gail sat back down, her thoughts of how'd they miss the ending for the fourth viewing were interrupted by a pouting Chloe. "No hug for me?"

"I don't do hugs."

Chloe crossed her arms, "I literally just witnessed you hug Holly right in front of me."

Gail shrugged, "That's different, she let's me see her naked; its a good trade off."

"You see me naked all the time." Chloe exclaimed just as Holly returned with her beer.

"Say what?" Holly asked with a raised eyebrow.

Gail pinched her temples and rubbed, this was not how she wanted her night to go. "She means in the locker room and her aversion of clothes during breakfast time at the frathouse."

Chloe smiled as she nodded, "I like to wake up naturally and free of hindrances. But you agree that you see me naked so I should get a hug too."

Holly laughed at the grimace on Gail's face. "By that logic Chloe's right."

"Even your girlfriend agrees with me."

Gail finished her beer in one gulp and stood. "The difference is that I want to see Holly naked and I've begged you to put on a shirt when we had waffles last Saturday, I threw a hoodie at you!"

"I thought you were concerned that I was cold. I thought we were friends and that you cared."

Gail took a calming breath before addressing the part time nudist in front of her. "If I hug you will you promise to wear at least a towel when around me? The only woman I want to see naked on a regular basis is the nerd behind you."

"30 second hug."

"I don't even hug my grandma that long. 10 seconds." Gail scoffed.

"20 seconds."

"8 seconds." Gail said narrowing her eyes.

"Hey you can't go lower, you're supposed to meet me in the middle."

"I do what I want, keep this up and I'll say 5 seconds."

"Fiiiiine... but I want both arms and you have to mean it, no just standing there."

"Arggh... let's get this over with." She turned to Holly. "Start counting as soon as she touches me."

Gail took a step into Chloe's eager arms and wrapped her own around her back. Holly started to count and Chloe leaned into Gail causing her to tighten her hold. When the count hit 8 Gail let go like Chloe was on fire and stepped back. Chloe was all smiles as she patted Gail's shoulder. "Not bad, I give it an 8.4, firm but comforting." And with that she left to find Dov leaving Gail and Holly behind.

Holly handed Gail her beer, "I think you need this more than me." Gail took it and drained it quickly. "Let's go."

Taking her hand Holly guided her out of the bar but not before whispering, "I give your hugs a 10, especially the naked ones."

Maybe hugs weren't so bad.

[snarkysarcasm]

Happy Whipped Cream Day! Could you please write a fic? Whipped cream really does make everything taste better...

Gail was rubbing Holly's feet as the doctor was proofreading her latest forensics journal submission. "So if I suggested licking tequila out is your navel you'd say no?" Gail not so innocently asked.

"Yep."

"So that's a yes to the tequila?"

"I mean yep to the no. Sex and food do not mix. Trust me on this." Holly corrected as she set down her tablet.

Gail pouted, "No running strawberries down your breasts to your gorgeous stomach?"

"Too sticky."

"What about a whipped cream bikini? That was hot as fuck in Varsity Blues. You even told me that you thought that girl was hot." Gail countered. "I think I would like you slowly licking a path from my nipples to my pu ..."

Holly raised an eyebrow and shook her head, "Veto. I know first hand that that's a bad idea. Not only does everything... and I mean everything... get sticky, but it gets everywhere and starts to smell. Trust me on this you really don't want dairy products to go bad down there."

Gail grimaced, "Okay that's a big no to whipped cream."

Holly laughed as she shifted on the couch to straddle Gail, "Don't worry, I'm sure I can find something else that you'll like to eat a lot more down there. We'll save the whipped cream for pie later."

Gail pulled her in for a kiss, "Deal."

~

Gail loved how Holly tasted just as she was, no whipped cream needed.

[snarkysarcasm]

Chapters: 17/17 Fandom: Rookie Blue Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Gail Peck/Holly Stewart Characters: Gail Peck, Holly Stewart Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University Summary:

An alternate universe story about college age Gail and Holly. Gail a criminal justice major in her senior year is paired up with third year med student Holly. Rated ’T’ for language and later chapters will be ’M’ for various subject matter.

Here it is after 5 long years of horrible writer’s block it’s finished. 

[snarkysarcasm]

Gail hates the cold, it's up to Holly to find ways of warming her up.

Quickly into their friendship, Holly had accumulated a bunch of tidbits about Gail.  The officer loved doughnuts and bacon.  She liked her coffee black and she was allergic to tomatoes.  She didn’t do sports (and would chuck a bat if a baseball was thrown at her).  

And, most importantly, the blonde hated being cold.

It had only taken hanging out once and seeing the dramatic teeth chattering and whining for Holly to learn to reset her thermostat anytime Gail came over.  She also started to leave piles of blankets throughout her home that the blonde would periodically wrap herself in without a word.

They were sitting watching a movie, when she felt a nudge against her thigh.

She looked over at the silent blonde who was still facing the television.  

“Can I help you?”

“I’m cold.” Gail’s pout was one of the most adorable things Holly had ever seen.

“You already have two blankets.”

“Yeah but my feet are cold.”  To illustrate her point Gail pushed her frozen toes under Holly’s thigh.

And Holly relented, letting Gail warm herself against Holly’s leg even though the initial brush of ice had Holly wanting to pull away. But the contented sigh and the way Gail buried herself even further into her couch had Holly never wanting Gail to move again.

And there laid the problem of having a crush on your straight friend.

---

“Alright, come here, you wimp.”

They were only halfway through the movie but Holly couldn’t stop noticing the way Gail was shivering on the other side of the couch.

“I’m going to ignore the name calling in leiu of me needing your body heat more than your respect at the moment.”

You know I respect you.”

“Yeah, yeah, get to making yourself useful.”

Holly pulled her closer, wrapping a blanket around both of them as Gail became the little spoon. She tried not to let herself read too much into the contented sigh Gail let out as she relaxed into her.

---

There was a snowman at her door. Snow woman? Snow person? There was a blonde covered in snow standing on her doorstep and looking like she wanted to murder an entire civilization.

“What happened?”

“Idiots happened. An entire city of idiots who think it’s okay to go drive in the snow and get their cars stuck in snowbanks.”

“And why exactly did you decide to be one of those idiots tonight?”

“It’s movie night.” Gail stated matter-of-factly pushing past Holly and into her warm house.

Holly was about to question it more but instead she sent Gail to take a hot shower and laid some of her warmest, comfy clothes she could find.

By the time Gail came back out Holly had a movie pulled up and two mugs waiting in the living room.

“Hot chocolate? I think a day like today calls for something a bit stronger than hot chocolate.”

“Just take a sip”

“Hot chocolate and hooch! You really do love me.”

Oh, if Gail only knew exactly how true that statement was.

---

“Oh my god! It’s cold!”

The water had hit them both like a freight train. But what was Holly supposed to do. She had walked into a hair massacre and all she could think to do was try to wash the mess down the drain. 

She just hadn’t realized exactly how cold the water would be until Gail was arching into her and shrieking under its stream.

So she did what she had always done for her best friend, she pulled her closer but this time Holly got to kiss her, in the way she had only dreamed about.  And to make it even better, Gail kissed her back.

---

“Are you wearing socks?” 

“Don’t judge me.”

“I’m trying not to.” But Holly couldn’t help but laugh at her naked girlfriend. Well, almost-naked girlfriend. Gail was perfectly nude except for the fuzzy socks on her feet.

“Try harder.”

Holly failed to stifle the giggles, “Are you really that cold?”

“Yes, you know this about me.”

Holly pulled her back towards the bed, “Well then allow me to change that for you.”

---

She had gone out to get more firewood and came back to the fire already lit, and a naked wife laying in front of it with blankets piled below her.

“Hey, Lunchbox.  I was getting cold.”

Why they had married in the winter when Gail hated the cold had been a mystery to everyone but Holly. Because Holly knew that as much as Gail hated the cold, she loved all the ways Holly would warm her back up.

[snarkysarcasm]

I just read Code Red and loved it! I’m such a sucker for comfort fics. Could you write a story where it’s Holly comforting Gail?

Comfort

"I heard what happened this morning. Are you okay?"

"All good." Gail pushed past a worried looking Traci, desperate to make it to the women's locker room before she broke down in tears in the middle of the bullpen. The fatal crash scene she'd attended earlier in the day had shaken her to the core, and up until now, she hadn't had time to fully process the tragic event.

By the time Gail entered the locker room, she was running and headed for the closest toilet stall. Locking herself inside, she pressed her forehead against the door. A sob erupted from deep within her, tearing at her stomach, lungs and throat. She silently cried out in anguish, not only for the senseless loss of life, but for those they left behind.

She tried desperately to center herself, taking some deep breaths in, hoping the breathing exercises her therapist had taught her following her abduction would help calm the disquiet in her heart. She was in the middle of holding her breath for the third time when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. With all that was going on today, she'd managed to neglect it for an entire shift.

She wiped away the tears blurring her vision and took out her phone. Ten unread messages awaited her – seven from Holly, and three from her mother. Knowing Elaine, she'd heard what had happened and was giving Gail advice on how to become a detached robot in these difficult situations. (Though some would argue she already was one.) While her mother, in her own twisted way, was probably making some good points, Gail wasn't in the right headspace to hear them, so she deleted the messages without reading them. Holly's messages, however, were a welcome distraction.

12:05 Want to come over and get take-out tonight?

12:10 If it's any incentive, I'll pay.

13:30 Wow! The world must be ending because Gail Peck can no longer be enticed by free food.

16:30 I guess I will be enjoying my own company tonight.

16:31 That sounded a little dirty, didn't it?

16:31 But maybe I'm on to something.

Gail chuckled before reading the last message.

16:45 Is everything okay? You're usually pretty prompt with the whole replying thing.

Gail couldn't help but laugh at how not okay she was, but unlike what she'd just done with Traci, she felt compelled to tell Holly the truth.

Sorry, I had a really rough day. I don't think I'd be very good company right now. Rain-check?

17:28 Of course.

17:28 Want to talk about it?

Gail sighed and wiped her nose with her sleeve. She was a mess and wasn't feeling worthy of anyone's support.

No. Thanks, though. I think I'm just going go home to Jose and drown my sorrows.

Gail pictured the bottle of tequila sitting on her dresser, waiting for her.

17:30 OK, if you're sure... Promise me you'll eat something with Jose?

Yes, mom, I promise.

17:30 Good. Get home safe, Officer.

Enjoy pleasuring yourself.

17:32 I always do.

//

That evening, after Gail had finished shedding what felt like a few layers of skin under a scolding hot shower, she heard a knock on her bedroom door.

"Gail, open up."

She pulled the extra long Blue Jays sweater she'd stolen from Chris over her half-wet, naked body before answering it. "What?" She was in no mood for a chat.

"Delivery person just dropped this off." Dov presented her with a box, which was similar in shape and size to that of a pizza box. It had a red bow tied around it and wedged under that was a small envelope with her name scribbled on it.

"What is this?" she asked.

"How should I know? I'm not Superman."

Gail stared blankly at him.

"Superman has x-ray vision? He can see through...Never mind, just take the stupid box." He handed it over. "Do you want some dinner? Chris is ordering Thai."

"Not hungry," she said as she was closing the door in his face but then remembered her promise to Holly to eat something. "Actually, tell him I'll have the Penang chicken curry and three serves of roti." Technically, she hadn't started drinking yet, but she would be rectifying that soon enough.

She closed the door and carried the box over to her bed.

Always one to open presents first and cards later, she tore off the bow with very little care. "Holy shit!" she exclaimed as she lifted the lid and saw what was inside. She'd heard about donut pizzas, had numerous dreams about them, but hadn't had the pleasure of eating one.

She reached for the card, wondering who she had to kiss for gifting her such a thing of beauty.

Dear Gail,

I'm always here if you need me. Take care.

Love, Lunchbox.

Gail couldn't help but read it aloud, to feel the words vibrate through her. She bit her lip, almost drawing blood as she tried to hold off a fresh set of tears. In that moment, it dawned on her that she didn't have to suffer alone, or more importantly, she didn't want to.

With no consideration for her appearance, Gail threw on the closest pair of pants she could find, which may or may not have been dirty, and stepped into her boots. She grabbed her bag and donut pizza and left her room.

"Hey, where are you going?" Dov asked from the living room where he and Chris were playing a video game.

"Out," Gail said as she made her way to the front door.

"But dinner will be here in fifteen."

"I'll have it for lunch tomorrow. It's better the next day anyway. Later." Gail lifted her car keys from the hook next to the door before jogging out to her car. Just knowing she'd be seeing Holly in a few minutes time was already having a positive effect on her mood, and she could almost feel the weight of the day starting to lift.

//

Holly beamed as she open her front door. "You changed your mind. I'm glad." She stepped aside, allowing Gail to come inside. They stood in Holly's hallway and starred at each other in silence. Gail suddenly felt her composure waning, her tears threatening to fall.

"I was worried about you," Holly finally said, her voice sounding a little shaky. "I saw you on the six o'clock news, holding that baby. I felt– I wasn't sure what to do but I felt I needed to do something. I had hoped that would bring you comfort if I couldn't." Holly pointed to the box in Gail's hands before momentarily staring at her own feet, looking a little embarrassed. "I know it's silly but–"

Gail dropped the box and her bag on the floor and launched herself at her friend.

Holly seemed almost ready for her, swallowing Gail up in her arms, taking on the full force of Gail's pain.

Gail cried into Holly's shoulder. "I can still hear him screaming."

Holly rubbed her back in soft circles and whispered, "You saved his life."

Gail squeezed her eyes shut as memories of the crash site flooded her mind.

When she'd first arrived on scene, she'd heard a baby crying bloody murder from the backseat of a car, which had careened down an embankment and wrapped itself around a tree after being plowed into by ute. Without any thought for her own safety, Gail had slid down the embankment to the wreck. She didn't even have a moment to check the driver- a young woman- before she was being begged to get the baby out of the car. Gail knew she should leave it to the paramedics and rescue team, who were five minutes away, but smoke was billowing from the hood of the car and the smell of leaking gas was potent.

After looking over the baby for any sign of trauma, she'd freed him from his carseat and wrapped him securely in his blanket before laying him on the soft grass a safe distance away from the car, but still directly in her line of sight.

The drivers seat door was badly damaged yet it fell off with barely even a tug. What Gail saw next was unlike anything she'd ever seen.

Blood. So much blood.

Gail's muscles screamed as she tried and tried to free the woman from her seat but she was pinned in from all angles. All Gail could do in that moment was offer her words of comfort as they waited for help. She assured the woman over and over that her baby, Jack, was okay, that he was safe, that she would be holding him again soon.

Gail watched in horror as the life started to drain out of the woman's body. "Stay with me," Gail pleaded. "You can get through this, just stay with me."

Gail had seen her fair share of dead bodies before, given the nature of her job, but she'd never witnessed anyone die, much less have them do so in her arms, and she knew that the woman's final breath–a whisper of her baby boys name–would haunt her in her sleep for nights to come.

"But I couldn't save her," Gail whimpered, holding Holly even tighter.

"With injuries that extensive, there was nothing you could have done," Holly tried to reassure her.

"Maybe if I'd tried harder... to get her out of the car or applied more pressure... I could have..."

"No." Holly shook her head as she pulled away. She cupped Gail's face with her hands and held Gail's gaze. "You did everything right, you hear me? You did everything you could."

Gail was having trouble reconciling that fact but nodded anyway for Holly's benefit. Holly pulled her in for another hug and Gail found herself slowly calming down, liking the way Holly soothingly stroked her hair and spoke softly in her ear.

When they finally parted, Gail found herself standing in the middle of Holly's living room. She never even noticed herself moving.

Holly handed Gail a tissue and directed her towards the sofa where they sat down, Holly anchoring Gail there with a hand on her knee. She swept Gail's damp hair from her forehead with her other hand.

"I hope I didn't interrupt your plans," Gail asked, remembering their last text exchange, her cheeks reddening at the thought of Holly "pleasuring" herself.

"No, I haven't started yet. You should stay and watch, if you like."

Gail wasn't sure if she'd heard Holly right. "You want me to watch?"

"It will be good for you. I think you need the distraction."

"I mean yeah but..." Holly reached for the remote and settled into the couch and Gail realised they were talking about completely different things. "Oh, you meant watch TV..."

"What did you think I meant?"

Gail shook her head and shrunk into the sofa cushions. "Nothing. Doesn't matter."

Over the next thirty minutes they devoured Gail's donut pizza, opting to have it for dinner instead of ordering take-away. Holly seemed surprised that Gail was willing to share her food. Gail told her it was the least she could do after getting boogers all over Holly's cardigan. Now Gail was laying along the sofa with her head in Holly's lap, feeling delightfully stuffed.

She looked up at her human pillow who was enamored by the nature documentary on the television.

"You're staring," Holly said with a smirk, her eyes never leaving the screen.

"I'm just...admiring the hair on your chin," Gail lied. She was actually admiring Holly's...well, everything.

Holly pinched Gail's ribs causing Gail to squeal and squirm. She didn't have time to retaliate because Holly began frantically tickling her everywhere she could reach- her tummy, neck, ribs, and knees. It felt wonderful and excruciating at the same time. "Stop, stop! Oh my god, stop!" Gail begged through tears of laughter as her body flailed. "You'll make me pee my pants."

Holly was laughing too. "And it would serve you right!"

After the laughing stopped, they both relaxed into their previous positions– Holly watching the TV, Gail watching Holly.

"Could you do me favour?" Gail asked, the volume of her voice echoing her lack of surety.

"Sure, honey."

"Would you come to the hospital with me in the morning to visit Jack, the baby?"

Holly looked down at Gail and smiled softly. "Or course I will. I would do–" Holly stopped mid-sentence, her face growing serious.

Gail squinted. "You'd do what?"

Brown eyes pierced curious blue. "...Anything for you."

Not moving a muscle, Gail let the weight of Holly's words sink in. "Anything?" She gulped.

Holly nodded as she stroked Gail's cheek with the back of her fingers and ran a thumb along her jaw. The intimacy made Gail's heart beat faster, made her feel like there was nothing outside of them in that moment.

She desperately wanted to kiss her, pull Holly's body down level with her own but couldn't decide whether that was a good idea considering her current state of mind and ultimately opted to ease the tension between them a different way. "Would you kill that barista at the Starbucks near 15 who keeps putting almond milk in my lattes?"

"But it tastes so...." Gail covered Holly's mouth with her hand, "good", Holly finished, her voice muffled through Gail's fingers.

Holly removed Gail's hand. "Fine. But will you break me out prison when I'm sent there for life?"

"Mmm," Gail bobbed her back and forth. "I'll have to think about it."

Gail could see a wicked glint in Holly's eye.

"Don't you fucking dare!" Gail said as Holly's hands went to tickle her again. Gail struggled to catch them, and before she completely lost control of her own body, rose up and forcefully pressed her lips against her torturers lips.

Holly stilled for a moment before placing here hand on the back of Gail's head and deepening the kiss.

The kiss only lasted five seconds but it was long enough to steal Gail's breath away and she shook her head in disbelief.

"I'm sorry," she said inches away from Holly's face, "you just had to stop tickling me."

"Oh. My. God," was all Holly said in response. Gail had no idea whether that was good or a bad thing; the dumbfounded look on Holly's face was inconclusive. Gail tried not to think the worst, though.

"Oh my god, good?" Gail asked.

"Oh my god I just realised that earlier you thought I was asking you to watch me touch myself." Holly's eyes widened then she covered her face with her hands and groaned.

Gail chuckled and got up, repositioning herself over Holly's lap. She pried Holly's hands away from her face.

"Smile," Gail said as she pushed up the corners of Holly's mouth with her fingers.

Holly obliged, however, reluctantly and Gail leaned in and kissed her softly.

"And what was that one for?" Holly asked, her nerves apparent.

"For my donut pizza."

Holly nodded, at first seemingly content with Gail's answer but then looked down between them, breaking eye contact.

Gail couldn't stand the loss of connection and lifted Holly's chin. She caressed Holly's cheek tenderly, wanting to make sure she understood her.

"For being you."