so-i-tried-harder-to-forget-her

[so-i-tried-harder-to-forget-her]

within hours of tweeting the below message, jenni put in a hell of a performance to help tigres make it the concacaf champions cup final. this is part of a trend of players speaking out against national team selectors for what has been a clear lack of communication.

and we saw similar messages from feli rauch and questions raised about the exclusion of french stars like wendie renard, ELS, and kenza dali, too. dali, in particular, is having a good season with the san diego wave. it just goes to show that we have a long way to go with our national teams, especially when it comes to treating team legends. 😤

"tired of hearing my name among so much falsehoods. saying things head-on and as they really are shouldn't be so hard. there's no need to beat around the bush when you can get straight to the point."

for reference, here's what montse said when asked about the exclusion of misa and jenni from the national team:

"they've been players who have been with me and whom we've valued; they're on the pre-selection list. we also value performance within our needs. everyone can think their own way. we try to be competitive...there is no door closed to any player."

[so-i-tried-harder-to-forget-her]

fyi, berman's league email is jberman@nwslsoccer.com

if anyone has thoughts and feelings about them continuing a game after a player needed cpr on the field, send them there.

you can also cc their comms team who may see it

what we do know is that the coaches were not involved. utah HC said he wasn't sure they should continue on and said it was out of his hands. play started almost immediately after savy was carted off and 12 minutes of stoppage time was added.

[so-i-tried-harder-to-forget-her]

The fact that Angel City FC and the Utah Royals were forced to continue playing after Savy King was given LIFE SAVING medical attention is absolutely insane.

It should be up to THE PLAYERS and COACHES if they can continue, but apparently, it doesn't matter what they want.

I can't imagine watching someone get CPR on the field and then being expected to play seconds after they're taken off the field and rushed to the hospital.

Things NEED TO CHANGE, life needs to be prioritized over soccer.

Soccer SHOULD NOT take precedent over a human life.

[so-i-tried-harder-to-forget-her]

[so-i-tried-harder-to-forget-her]

It costs zero dollars to let people enjoy things and not be constantly vocally negative

[so-i-tried-harder-to-forget-her]

We need to talk about the frequently increasing abuse in the women's game over the recent days and months.

After Geyse and Millie Bright, Bunny Shaw has also spoken out about the racist and misogynistic abuse she has faced from fans, adding to the growing number of female athletes who have experienced such abuse.

There are varying statistics on the percentage of female athletes subjected to abuse throughout their careers but one thing is clear:

No athlete should ever have to experience it. No aspect of their identity, whether gender, ethnicity, or sexuality, justifies abuse and we have one thing to say about that:

If you’re out here insulting football players, yelling misogynistic, racist or homophobic abuse at them, get the fuck out of the stadiums. There is no space for you in women’s football. Our game will always be a safe space, for both fans AND players.

We encourage everyone to speak out if you witness any of this behaviour in the stadiums.

Let’s keep women’s football games a place where everyone feels welcome.

Further reading:

https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/articles/ckgyr3y909zo

https://www.theguardian.com/football/article/2024/aug/28/geyse-abuse-football-must-use-power-to-effect-positive-change-moving-the-goalposts

https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/articles/cp8q5d9gp46o

[so-i-tried-harder-to-forget-her]

some domestic agathario for the soul

[so-i-tried-harder-to-forget-her]

it's so insane that aubrey's husband died and some people are already making it all about themselves, either with saying shit like "she's single yay i have a chance" or talking about the universe hating them because aubrey probably won't go to the golden globes and we won't get a kathryn and aubrey reunion. like read the room?? she just lost a loved one, i get that she's a public figure but could everyone just take a step back and let her grieve in peace??

[so-i-tried-harder-to-forget-her]

Agathario + matching each other's freak + text posts Bonus: x

[so-i-tried-harder-to-forget-her]

home kit with white shorts today 🙄

light your candles and pray for us 🙏

[so-i-tried-harder-to-forget-her]

Can I publicly inform tumblr that abortion in Ireland was illegal until 2019. Literally. That’s not an exaggeration. Before that it was a criminal act with up to 14 years in prison. Even for rape and incest. The UN had to get involved.

Even now it’s capped at 12 weeks w/ exception for life of the mother. It took women dying to get that law passed.

I’m posting this because I believe anons (with the best intentions) are naive on the reality of Ireland.

[so-i-tried-harder-to-forget-her]

Girls like girls (barca femeni x teen reader)

summary: r is coming to terms with her sexuality, and has an emotional talk with her three older teammates.

TW: coming out, questioning sexuality

Your world was falling apart around you, and there was nothing that you could do about it. 

It had started with a theoretical what if. What if you liked girls? The if made you think. How would you know? Suddenly you were flipping through your memories, looking for signs. Every moment that you spiraled, the impossible was becoming more possible. You were in too deep, tipping into territory you didn’t want to enter, places you couldn’t come back from. You wished that you had never asked yourself the question in the first place. 

You were so confused. This was something that other people were, not you. It never crossed your mind, of course, as something bad when your teammates were gay. For some unexplainabe reason it felt like the end of the world to admit that you were, though. 

--- 

Your mind felt so full of thoughts that you thought it might burst. You couldn’t sleep. You couldn’t eat. Your teamates watched concerned as your concentration wavered in training, and when you started to snap at them, Alexia pulled you aside. 

“What’s going on with you?” She asked sternly.

“Nothing.” You pulled your arm out her grip and turned away. “I’m fine.” 

“You don’t seem fine.” She snapped back. 

“I am.” You crossed your arm. 

“Come on, Y/N.” Alexia said. “Talk to me.”

“As my captain?” You asked, eyebrows raised. 

“As your friend.”

“I told you, amiga, I’m fine.” You turned to walk away, but she spun you around to face her, jaw locked. 

“Ok then. As you captain, I’m telling you to get your shit together.” You rolled your eyes at her, and walked away. 

--- 

That night, you dreamed that you were married to a woman. You had kids and a house and everything felt so perfect, life was so good and you were so happy. Until you woke up, and it dawned on you that you were really and truly queer, and you felt like you wanted to disappear.  

---

The next day in training, you didn’t talk to anyone. Your teammates were becoming increasingly worried, but gave you the space that it seemed you required. 

As silly as it sounded, you didn’t want them to know that you were gay. You knew, of course, that they would accept you, but the idea that they would see you differently sickened you. They would put you in a box-- even if they were also in that box. You would be a different you from the you they knew yesterday. 

These thoughts rolled over and over in your mind, slowly overwhelming you and dragging you under. It all hit you at once, like one big wave, how much your life was going to have to change. One moment, you were passing with Ona, watching Ingrid and Mapi share a water bottle across the pitch. The next, your ears were ringing and you were in a dead sprint back towards the locker. You threw yourself down onto the bench, and buried your head in your arms, body shaking with sobs. You heard someone else come in, and registered a hand rubbing soothing circles on your back, but couldn’t bring yourself to look up.

“Shhh”, Mapi cooed, “Que paso?”

You shook your head. You couldn’t verbalize it-- how fucked up you were. How much you wanted a piece of yourself to go away and leave you be. You couldn’t tell this to your teammates, not when they were this way too and you loved them so dearly regardless. How insulting would it sound? How hurt would they be? 

You pushed Mapi away and stumbled across the room, but didn’t make it far because the mere sight of Ingrid and Alexia walking through the locker room door, Alexia's arms outstretched motioning for you to breathe, was enough to make you crumple to the ground. Your sobs deepend, racking your whole body. You wanted to be left alone. You wanted to go back to a month ago when you didn’t have to face this. Could you ever go back? 

You felt hands on your back and hands on your face, rubbing and comforting and whispering to you that you were ok, that you were loved, that they needed you to come back to them. That only made you cry harder. What would they think if they knew how much you hated something that was inside of them too? Your mind was rolling over and curling in on itself and it felt like you were spinning. There were too many layers to dig through and you were drowning. 

Two strong hands gripped your own and Alexia’s voice broke through the haze, speaking sternly to you. 

“Breath, pequeña. Tell me what is going on.” 

Your brought your eyes up to meet hers and she looked at you with such kindness. Before you knew what was happening, you were throwing yourself into your arms. “I’m gay.” You cried. 

The three women sitting beside you swallowed their shock, agreeing to save that for later, and turned their attention to you. “Oh, cariño,” Alexia started as she brushed hair away from your forehead. You were sobbing again, though, burying your head in your arms. 

“I don’t want to be different, Ale,” you sobbed, “I just want to go back. I don’t want to be this way.” 

Alexia looked at Ingrid and Mapi over your head, all three wearing matching heartbroken expressions. They weren’t insulted, not even a little. They weren’t mad that you felt this way because they understood, of course they understood. As they looked at you, each women saw a smaller version of themselves, a version that they hadn’t thought about in a very, very long time. A version where this was new, and as scary to them as it was to you now. 

“I know, love.” Alexia whispered into your hair, rubbing your back. “You’re not different, I promise, nena. I am here. I know. Estás bien.” 

Slowly, the tears slowed down and you lifted your head to meet the gazes of your friends. You took in their expressions and the way that Ingrid clutched Mapi’s hand in her lap, and what you had said finally registered in your brain. You clamped a hand over your mouth. 

“I didn’t mean-- I don’t--” you stammered, trying to undo the damage that you were sure you had done. 

“It’s ok.” Alexia smiled at you. “We are not sad because we think you look down on us. We are sad because you look down on yourself.” 

Ingrid moved forward, taking your face in her hands and planting a kiss on your forehead. “I know it is scary. Trust me, I know.” She said with a short laugh. “But you are not alone, si?”

“I don’t want my life to change.” You whispered. 

Alexia looked at Mapi with a frown, and you followed her gaze, turning around to find Mapi biting her lip and staring at the ceiling, still gripping tightly to Ingrid’s hand.

“Map?” Alexia asked.

“Mierda.” Mapi cursed quietly, bringing her head down and rubbing her eyes with her palms. 

You looked on, horrified. You had never, ever seen Mapi cry, and now you were sure that you had upset her so much with your words that you had brought her to tears. 

“Maria.” Ingrid whispered, puting one hand comfortingly on her thigh and gesturing at your stunned expression with the other. 

Mapi looked at you, and realized what you were thinking. “No. No! Y/N, I’m not mad at you.” She said, as tears leaked down her face, matching your own. “Shit.” She said, bringing her hand up to wipe at her eyes aggressively, clearly frustrated by her own emotions. “I just, I swear to god, I look at you and I see myself.” 

You looked at her, confused.

She sighed. “Everything that you just described, I felt. When I was your age. I was terrified. I didn’t feel pride. I didn’t get what was happening to me.” Her voice cracked. Alexia nodded knowingly, and you looked between them. “When I came out to Ale,” Mapi waved generally in Alexia’s direction, trying to get a grip on herself, “I cried so hard that I almost threw up.” 

Your jaw dropped. “You?” You looked at Alexia for confirmation, and she nodded again. “It’s true. It's the only time I’ve ever seen her cry. Well, except for right now.”

“Callarse.” Mapi grumbled. “You’re not much better, you came out by text.” 

Alexia grimaced, and you looked at her, eyes wide.

“Listen, Pequeña,” Mapi said, taking your hand in hers, “I know that it is scary. That’s because it is new, and you still have to get used to the idea. No one is asking you to scream anything to the rooftops. This does not even have to be a part of your identity, any more than being straight was, if you do not want it to” 

You swallowed heavily. Ingrid chimed in, and your head turned to look at her. “It is hard right now, and I know it sucks, but it’s better to get the chance to really, truly love than to live a lie.”

“And look at me! Now I get a hot girlfriend.” Mapi said, poking Ingrid in the cheek, who took Mapi’s hand in her own and held it tight, rolling her eyes. You giggled, and the three women smiled.

“You will be just fine. I promise.” Alexia said, pulling you into her side and pressing a kiss to your hair. “Plus, men are gross.” She whispered into your head, crinkling up her nose in mock disgust. The other two did the same, and you giggled again. You watched silently as Ingrid reached up to wipe the stray tears from Mapi’s cheek, her eyebrows furrowed in concern, and felt a yearning in your chest so deep that you knew you could not be misled. How could this be wrong? How could they be wrong? 

A/N this is very much based on my experiences of reckoning with a huge change in your identity. Even if you are very much not homophobic, it is hard to realize that others will now put you in a box. I remember so clearly these feelings from when I was young. I hope this makes sense to other people, too!

[so-i-tried-harder-to-forget-her]

Do you have any advice for a girl entering her 20s who feels lost? All my close friends have already chosen careers and degrees and I still don't know what to do. So many people told me to just take it slow, but I'm poor and I live in a 3rd world country, there aren't that many opportunities for people coming from the lower class.

You will do many things with your life. You will be lost many times. You can restart and rechoose a hundred times over. We are meat sacks on a floating rock - it’s really not that deep.

Choose something. Try and be happy. Continue to make choices which make you happy. And if you’re unsure, just choose something. Action is better than inaction. It’s gonna be okay lil bud 🫶

[so-i-tried-harder-to-forget-her]

Sade Adu & her son Izaak Theo Adu in the video she released to the song Young Lion that she wrote in tribute to him.

[so-i-tried-harder-to-forget-her]

Awwhhh she's so well-loved by the younger fans 🫶🏻

Ingrid looked surprised when she asked "everyone?", yes Princess, everyone wants to have a picture with you 💕

Video taken from X, credits to: Barça femeni fotos

[so-i-tried-harder-to-forget-her]

[so-i-tried-harder-to-forget-her]

Art is to console those who are broken by life. —Vincent Van Gogh