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These are so my vibe tbh.

Misc.

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Hey sorry i haven't written forever. I'm not good at sticking with things. I never have been huh? Quit the thing that made me happiest in the world all cause my dad. That's dumb I'm dumb. But i knew that. I uh. I don't wanna be around anymore. I'm a burden. Some of the most important people in my life tell me I'm not. But iunmo if i can believe them. They try to only be nice to me and what does my stupid ass do? I bite. I'm no good. Everyone's right to leave me alone. I'm too afraid to attempt anything serious. That's a real failure. I'm so bad at failing im to afraid to even really fail. I hit myself. As hard as i can it barely hurts at a certain point to be honest. I'm just someone that shouldn't be loved. My family doesn't so why do people that i love try and prove i deserve it? I'm sure this seems like begging for attention. And i fucking hate that about myself. I don't deserve help so why am i even god damn putting this here? Maybe i hope someone sees and tries. Maybe i hope people i do love finds this and knows i do love them and just don't know how to show it. Who knows. I hope one day i can just stop feeling. I hate feeling like the only person who deserves to die in this whole world is me. I hate having to worry I'll disassociate so hard i risk hurting people i actually care about. I just wish i was normal. I Wana be someone people can rely on but i can't. I'm just broken tuned to tight and the littlest things break those strings. Im told I'm an age regressor well why the fuck can't i just be normal with it! Why does feeling like a crying six year old make me wanna slam my head into the nearest wall till i pass out! Concrete hurts! I wish itd just stop! Life is to loud end i Just want quiet! Why am i getting worse?! Why can't i just accept niceties I'm a greedy manipulative person just accept! Be nifr too people who love you! But no I'm too afraid I'll always be afraid. Thanks. Mom thanks dad you broke your kid and now you're kid wishes she was dead and she's too afraid to tell you cause she's afraid you'll just let her. To afraid to live to afraid to die. Pathetic. Hopefully next entry is nicer

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Entry 3

I freakin hate everything! What does dad know? He doesnt know a freakin thing about me! I don't do anything for anyone else(Which yeah i feel like crap for) so what the FUCK do you mean i am no good at playing the piano! I am amazing at it! ...but he'd no better wouldnt he? IM just that same stupid kid who thought she could make her dad proud of her. but no im still "playing for the wrong person" IF IM NOT SUPPOSED TO PLAY FOR MYSELF OR FOR OTHERS WHO AM SUPPOSED TO PLAY FOR DAD! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! I just wanna break everything! I try to start doing better do things that make me happy and for what!? All they do is get blown up in my face! TW: Suicide ideations and more of that stuff as well as familial trauma

I think if Kanade still wasn't talking to me id probably be dead. Either by myself or just letting myself get attacked by a negatone. I know i have no right to complain my familys well off but that doesn't mean its cushy for me. my dad leaves me alone for days at a time and my mom isnt here. after my recital when i stopped playing the piano...without Kanade i felt empty like a darkness was trying to grip me. Sure i had other friends like Raon and Ouji but they didn't know me like Kanade did. They were my soccer friend and my music friend. Not that music is a good thing to be friends with anymore. Its lonely. When Kanade and i "broke up" it felt like i was breaking apart but i had to look strong. Dad always asked why i looked sad. and then would blame me when i told him the truth. so i hid it and it hurt too. but less than being made fun of by my dad. I kept thinking if nothing changed...i'd have been better off gone at least then mom woulda been happier with dad. Kanade wouldn't have to look at me. Hummy would have a better precure. and the screw up Hibiki Hojo wouldnt be here... But i am here. And Kanades back with me and Hummy needs me. My pride as a woman wouldn't ever let that darkness win and im definitely gonna be my own person! I do things cause they make me happy no one else!

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Happy Pride Month!

I've never really done anything for pride month. I've always known I'm a lesbian but it's never really seemed like a big deal to me i mean heck my girlfriend is bi. Kanades my girlfriend(hopefully one day wife!) and Ellens my partner(she's claimed by Hummy but Ellens special to me too). I love both alot not that i ever really know how to tell em but I'm pretty sure they know. My dad didn't really seem to care when i started being with Kanade and Ellen while mom seemed excited! She may not be here but she wants me to be happy. Maybe I'll get a cute lesbian flag cape or something. I know i want Kanade to make me some pride cupcakes(I'm gonna lick the batter cause i suck at baking) maybe i can set something up with Ouji the cooking princess(i forgot her name but i don't talk too her so that's okay) and Raon at the school for all gay kids.

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Entry 2

Talked with Kanade again today... we still fought but this time it... didn't hurt as bad. I wonder if that means we're being friends again? We managed to beat that monster thing i think hummy called it a negatone. It made people cry but apparently the precure stuff protects me and Kanade. Which she deserves it i don't think i do. I'm really not that good of a person. Hummy says i remind her of her friend Seiren she says we both act really big but we're really soft and small inside? I don't really know what that means. I'm just happy that the monster was gone and...kanade and i got our precious record back. We may not be friends again yet but that records important to us. Dad didn't come home tonight i think he's just out at his stupid cabin. Which is fine by me less people to cook for. Honestly i really don't like cooking but dad said it's important for me to know how. I think he's just lazy and wants to force me to if i had it my way id eat kanade's baking all the time id probably get to big to play sports but that's okay cause itd mean i had Kanade. Honestly I'm scared to be a precure im big and im strong but i don't like to fight yelling makes me wanna cry and... what if I'm not good enough like i wasnt at piano whatever Im big and I'm way tougher than Kanade!

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OOC POST: Introduction

Hi! This is an RP Kin agere blog for Hibiki Hojo from Suite Precure Hibiki is 14/15 years old physically She is a vent/trauma comfort regressor For Vent and Comfort her range is baby-3 For Trauma she is 6-10 Hibiki has AudHD and issues with binge eating Important characters that will be mentioned: Kanade Minamino - Rough relationship but the two deeply care for each other Hummy - The Suite Precures cat is a loving big sister to Hibiki Ellen Kurokawa - Emotionally intellegently helpful to HIbiki Hojo Dan - Hated by Hibiki blames him for how she often feels depressed and sad and lonely Hojo Maria - Doesn't blame her but resents her for following her dream and leaving her alone with her emotionally neglectful/abusive father. TWs: Self hate, Self hate language, Feelings of abandonment, Parental Trauma and hatred.

Blog Posts will mostly be in first person but might forget and break character!

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Entry 1

Hummy brought me this journal. Said its something all precure kept. I dunno how much I really believe that. but eh. guess I'll start with what happened today. Kanade and I talked. Really kinda actually talked for the first time in awhile I really missed her. When dad...broke me. she was the one who put me mostly back togehter. We became precure too whatever that means. Hummy said we were supposed to become the saviors of Major Land a place of music and that precure have to love music? It was weird i never woulda thought i would be a magical girl. especially one thta supposedly loves music...honestly i hate music...music keeps mom away and makes dad a jerkhead. thats not a word. Kanade and I couldnt beat the monster and it was probably my fault but i was too proud to admit it. but thtats aoky I'm still mad at her my favorite person and she abandonned me i thought we'd be together forever. But we werent. Maybe we still will be shes a precure she has to be my friend again...i hope.