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so excited for this!!

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So when we arrive at these points in our lives – where the people who’ve made up all our yesterdays branch off toward their own tomorrows – we have to learn to make peace with their choices. We have to learn to take a step back from resentment and our pride and our loneliness and remember that there are an infinite number of new characters that have yet to make their debut into our lives. That the best times to date are behind us but that doesn’t mean the future doesn’t hold even better opportunities for friendship and love. But if we remain so fixated on what we’ve lost, we’ll never see what’s still left to be found.

Heidi Priebe, when all your friends are moving on without you 

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I had a daydream I was a door girl at a club and it was compulsory part of my job to carry around a giant plush toy animal with me everywhere to greet arrivals. Every time someone would sincerely greet the teddy, they would have greater luck scoring the phone number of the person they liked. #witchy

Then I would go home and sit on the swings by myself after midnight under the blood red lunar eclipse.

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there’s nothing inherently wrong with monogamy

but I feel like we don’t talk often enough about the negative impacts the culture that surrounds monogamous relationships can have on people of all relationship styles/orientations. 

monogamy culture will have you believe that it’s normal to be jealous and territorial over your partner and their interactions with other people - especially interactions with people that they could eventually develop a romantic/sexual interest in. 

monogamy culture will tell you that you are the only person your partner should ever show romantic/sexual interest in, and if your partner makes the mistake of developing feelings/attraction toward another person, it’s because you are not enough. 

monogamy culture will tell you that certain sacrifices must be made in order to build a life with another person, and if you aren’t keen to make those sacrifices for your partner, you are selfish and not ready for “real” commitment.

monogamy culture will tell you that relationships are only valuable if they are “going somewhere,” somewhere usually meaning lifelong commitment in the form of marriage or domestic partnership. if you aren’t ready to shack up, propose, have kids with, or make other commitments to someone whom you’ve been dating for an extended period of time, you are again considered selfish and not ready for a “real” relationship.

monogamy culture will tell you that one partner should satisfy most of your needs. the rest can be dealt with via compromise on your end. when you can no longer deal with having certain needs go unsatisfied, your only option is to end the current relationship and (usually) pursue someone else.

monogamy culture will tell you that there are certain things you must rely on your significant other for. they should be the most intimate relationship you have, the person you gain validation from, the person from whom you ask advice first, the ultra absolute most special person you’ve ever had in your life. if anyone else compares in the slightest, they are a threat to the relationship.

obviously not all monogamous couples exhibit these characteristics, because monogamy itself is not the problem. the problem is this weird, jealous, insecure, culture surrounding monogamy that is constantly perpetuated by the media and so much of society. 

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Speaking from my own experiences, it’s gotten to the point where I can’t even deal with optimism sometimes because so many people have used it in a really toxic way to silence me and invalidate my experiences with oppression.

In fact, I ended up in a lot of abusive situations during my “positive thinking always” phase. And it really cut into my sense of empathy for myself and others. Negativity serves a purpose. It allows me to know that I don’t have to accept everything the way it is. It validates me, allows me to be a whole person, and has allowed me to be a happier person. In fact, at one point I tried to cut out all my sadness, but instead I cut out all emotions and couldn’t feel anything anymore, not even happy. It took me a long time to recover from that.

Accepting that it’s okay to be angry and sad and depressed and dissatisfied has brought forth so much self acceptance for me that it’s not even worth comparing to “positive thinking”.

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All of the 16 personality type descriptions together. You can find the complete images and descriptions for each type on my blog here X 

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I went to my first mbti meetup today. It was pretty much a table of INxxs talking about personality theory, psychology, philosophy, politics, meditation, ideas etc with no small talk. It felt kind of strange bc I rarely encounter intellectual discussions in my day to day life and I almost forgot how much I missed them. 

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i’m not interested in love that looks like owning people. i am, however, super down to watch you grow and love and complete yourself while i do the same. if we can come together and share what we’ve learned with each other, i think we’ll feel safe. and if i love you, i am always rooting for you to love and put yourself first. your well-being is important. mine is, too. the best relationships i have with people are the ones where the only people we belong to our ourselves. if you’re reading this: don’t forget about you, babe. 

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A first year Ayotzinapa student collects flowers to sell on the coast of Guerrero for Dia de Los Muertos. Only the first year students work in the fields. They plant flowers and corn to sell and use the profits for materials and basic necessities of the students. The majority of the 43 students missing since September 26 are first years.

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