softvoidgecko

[softvoidgecko]

[softvoidgecko]

everyone talks about self diagnosis, but i dont see enough people talking about the simple fact of not being diagnosed. this goes for all types of health issues.

sometimes people dont want to self diagnose. its better to be safe than sorry, of course. but there might still be something wrong.

theres two things that often happen at my grandparents house when we visit. either grandma asks us to go for a walk, or she'll ask use to help with the dishes. usually i say yes to helping with the dishes at least, but during winter i cant without fear that my entire family will see the cuts all over my arms and subsequently judge me. but i cant tell her i have depression, or some other disorder that comes with self harm. not only will she not take that as an excuse to not help out, im not diagnosed with depression, and she doesnt know that. so she'll ask my parents, and then suddenly i have my parents angered because i helped with the dishes.

and, on the note of her asking if we want to go walking, i cant always say yes to that either. because no, grandma, my body has decided that today is a nausea day, and i dont think i can walk unless you also want me to vomit on the sidewalk. but i cant tell her that. not without having some pointless conversation. see a doctor, she'll say, as if my parents care enough to see a doctor about anything. without some explanation though, im not getting out of that walk any time soon.

self diagnosis can get you backlash, yes, but simply staying undiagnosed can be just as difficult. these are just my examples also, things ive experienced. im sure this isnt the worst case scenario, however it is still a terrible pain to deal with.

[softvoidgecko]

“If you have time to watch Netflix you have time for a side hustle” my side hustle is relaxing so that my body and brain can heal from by this nose-to-the-grindstone bullshit. I refuse to feel guilty for being a human with the need to relax sometimes. my side hustle is no.

[softvoidgecko]

“Where are your pagan gods now?”

Gardening

Comforting your abandoned dead

Reclaiming

Rerooting

[softvoidgecko]

Forgiving someone is easy, but being able to trust them again is a different story.

[softvoidgecko]

Saying Goodbye Forever (DanAndPhilGames Is Back From The Dead)

[softvoidgecko]

To be treated well without asking for it hits differently tbh

[softvoidgecko]

Know that you can start late, look different, be uncertain and still succeed.

Misty Copeland

[softvoidgecko]

[softvoidgecko]

words mean nothing to me anymore

[softvoidgecko]

trusting people is getting harder and harder

[softvoidgecko]

‎" For your peace of mind, do not try to understand everything. "

[softvoidgecko]

I hate being the poet but never the muse

[softvoidgecko]

my goal is to give myself everything I deserve

[softvoidgecko]

I’m so tired of loving harder than I’m loved.

[softvoidgecko]

i'm full of unsaid words

[softvoidgecko]

My neighbors are listening to great music. 

Whether they like it or not.