Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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new mother-daughter bonding activities just dropped: psychoanalyzing your father
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Sorry! We threw out your luggage because it was giving the airplane a tummy ache
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Cat so fat
Fat fat cat
Cat so fat wears his house like a hat

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Important Milestone

The song about how nobody likes you when you're 23 turns 23 today
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to all the people who may be coming back here from twitter in light of elon’s purchase:

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“Corgi butts can float. Not sure what to do with this info, other than share it with you.”
(via)
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When you're walking in the rain and there's worms on the ground but you have to hurry so you can't pick them up and put them onto the grass for safety so you just have to keep going KNOWING they could get stepped on and it would be YOUR fault
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Shaved my butthole for my doctor tomorrow. It’s the little things
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normalize lying to matt lauer about seeing a clown explode to death in his little clown car
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