solarapplejuice

[solarapplejuice]

[solarapplejuice]

I did keep things to myself, it didn't work. I did stay quiet and take the high road, it didn't work. i finally stood up for myself and deliberately cultivated an audience & peer group that won't treat me like disposable garbage because the alternative was just staying silent while you all did the same fucking shit anyways. i've reached a place where i can stare down a "this you?" and say "of course." and i'm not going back.

[solarapplejuice]

noooo trans person don’t mistake your dysphoria-based apathy towards transition and your assumption that it can’t make you more happy with yourself as radical acceptance of your body that proves you don’t need (or more internally, deserve) hormones and gender affirming clothes, nothing will really happen but god you could be so much more fulfilled and could stop whenever you want if you don’t like it… crossdress in your room TODAY

[solarapplejuice]

via

[solarapplejuice]

every now and then the internet decides it should revamp the ole “stop texting first and see how many friends you lose” when in reality you could literally just communicate that u feel bad that ur the only one texting first

[solarapplejuice]

no one does it like him any more

[solarapplejuice]

If you're getting pain with your shots make sure the bevel is up when you're injecting! It causes less trauma to the skin and generally is more precise.

Here's a good informational article if you need a refresher on subcutaneous injections: https://www.saintlukeskc.org/health-library/giving-subcutaneous-sub-q-injection-single-medicine

Of course, if your doctor has told you to position otherwise please listen to them, this is general information.

[solarapplejuice]

i cannot stop thinking about roughhousing. i want tickling and laughing that turns into wrestling that gets a little more serious and heated, until one of us is pinned down, both breathing hard and making out and thighs pressed in between each others legs and hickeys and bite marks all over and trying so hard not to be the one that cums first and failing, ending up getting fucked hard by the winner until you’re so drunk on all your orgasms you couldn’t fight back if you tried

[solarapplejuice]

Do you ever just get a good feeling about a friend? Like you just think they’re just dandy? Or am I the only one experiences this

? Are you asking if anybody else feels nice about their friends?

[solarapplejuice]

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter was one of the best works of sci-fi of our generation and one of the best works of transgender fiction ever written, and there are world renowned authors who still have successful careers after they publicly assassinated the nascent woman who wrote it. I don't think they should ever know peace.

[solarapplejuice]

i think it's incredibly difficult or even impossible to be realistic about yourself and others if you approach potential for harm - or actual harm - from a position of self hatred. our capacity to hurt others is probably one of the few things that is consistently true about every person, and it's something we do pretty regularly as well, in little ways and some bigger ways. we have methods of living with this fact - apologizing, doing better, making it even through favors. but if you have an extremist stance on what it means to do harm, you do yourself no favors. violence suddenly becomes something distant and unknowing, unless YOU do it, in which case you're less than human unless you can show to others that you're willing to extend the extreme violence you put out into the world onto yourself.

[solarapplejuice]

it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore

[solarapplejuice]

I want to set the record straight regarding a certain OST for a short film that should be coming out later this year, because one of its directors is making false and hurtful claims about me and my business ethic. After he made a prominent appearance on a drama stream about me & wrote a section of my callout doc, I told him that I wasn't interested in dragging him publicly, but that has felt more impossible as time goes on and I realize the extent of his misrepresentation. I had a vision of this film being able to release quietly in spite of everything, but I don't think that can happen, and I fully expect him to try and hurt my chances at further work.

In 2023, between techdogs 4 and 5, I worked on music for a then good friend's student film. It is by far the most technically difficult job I've ever had, and I did it for free. Now, before you get mad, this is partially (mostly) my fault. I never negotiated a price beforehand, and when I found out partway through that I was working for free, I let it slide for fear of being disruptive. If I was asked to quote a price today, it would have been approximately 900 USD. The work was a hellish and grueling experience, technical in ways I'd never been prepared for, and I sorely regret not putting my foot down, because I was hollowed out by the end of it.

A big portion of his callout against me is concerned with, bafflingly, my decision not to contribute my own money to the film, which at that point would have been a negative paycheck. I didn't pay the thirty dollars that I would've had to pitch in for the film to be screened, and I considered that a fine payment for the nine hundred dollars of work they got from me. He goes on to write that I'm rich anyways, I pay hundreds of dollars on album art (business expenses that I know I'll make back when the music is released) and "furry porn," because apparently if I am occasionally willing to drop a pretty penny on a pleasure purchase then I should simply be compelled to pay them randomly for things I hold no stake in and that I signed no contract for. He also mentions that I paid them later for the DCP file at another screening, of course by that point I had gotten the vibe that they were wanting for me to drop money on their project, so I did, giving the post-hoc justification that "i guess in this case I also care about the film sounding good." He writes "well I guess that was something she deemed worthy" without realizing the implication would then be that he did not see my own work as worthy.

Let me make this clear, this is like if a voice actor worked on my video game for free as a favor with no expectations of royalties, and then I asked them to help me pay to get the game on steam. This is presented along reheated second, third, fourthhand accounts of sexual misconduct.

And before we move on, to the claim that one album artist had to wait for years before receiving payment, this is true. I did forget to pay one artist, and only found out after their assistant contacted me years later, where I then paid six times the asking price as a late fee. I was commissioning over ten album arts every year, and as of now, this is the only time I have made this mistake.

It is impossible for me to refute his claims about the personal time we spent together in Omaha, as it would just be my word against his. I will just say that he should know the omitted reasons that I have grown to feel I was disposed, discarded, and taken for granted by him, and how he has nothing to do with why I hold those memories at that film festival so highly. He also does the classic thing where he positions allowing me to pick the movie in the evening as this favor he did, making me unknowingly rack up debt for a bargain I never consented to.

During all this, he has expressed an existential fear of being harassed for going public about me, and for this reason I want to say that I still hope that this film can be released without a fuss, but his continued participation in a harassment campaign against me has done far more to tarnish his reputation than I ever could. If you really cared about your image, pressure Crim to re-record that drama stream without your embarrassing petty grievances in it & delete your testimony from the callout doc. Thanks.

[solarapplejuice]

Spin the wheel for your new government assigned hairstyle.

List of hairstyles here

[solarapplejuice]

"a lot of transmisogynistic ideas have snuck their way into the lgbt community" i mean personally I'd say it's more of an "oh my god a bear" that's always been there situation but sure.

[solarapplejuice]

Being nice to someone you don’t like is not manipulation btw it’s being civil