solustalechoy

[solustalechoy]

Ridley Scott gave us monster fucking, then Guillermo Del Toro figured out you could make it consensual.

With Guillermo Del Toro’s ‘The Shape Of Water’, let us not forget the original monster fuckers film, ALIEN

[solustalechoy]

O' great teaboot, what is the meaning of gender?

Please bestow this wisdom upon us.

From "AM I A DEMIGIRL PEOPLE ARE MAKING ME QUESTION IT SEND HELP PLEASE" anon

It is very simple actually. Boy and Girl are traditionally conceived to be larval forms of Man and Woman. Man and Woman are polar ends of a concept, which is to say they are real except in that they aren’t quantifiable, like money and love and the trade value of a beanie baby. So they’re kind of not real at all, except in that we think about them a lot, and that makes them very important for reasons.

In-between but also encompassing Man and Woman are two or so spaces, like a circle with four points and four sides, like a square circle, which is a sliding scale and also completely round. And on the corners of this circle are things like “Both” and “Neither”.

The “Neither” one is a bit of a catch-all though if I’m honest, because having one-quarter of our circle say “none of the above” is sort of like saying that everything in the universe is one of two things- artificial shrimp-flavoured potato crisps or something else. And that’s cheating, but it’s also easy and fun and good for you., so not exactly “cheating” but more like taking candy-flavoured vitamins in reasonable quantities.

Now the “meaning” of “gender” has to do with all of this, but also very little of this because things that we invented and imagine but cannot touch or hold tend to make us very anxious and uptight, largely I think because we cannot sell them and they are confusing, and if something is confusing then most people I figure would rather either not think about it at all or find a use for it that we can trade for things we CAN touch and hold, like peanuts and other allergens.

Which is to say, gender has about as much meaning and use and purpose as it possibly can to you personally as a mysterious briefcase that washes up behind you on a desert island after a horrible accident, assuming you haven’t opened it yet and aren’t sure if it’s going to contain a radio, flares, a chisel, iodine, and a first aid kit, or maybe just spare pajamas or a second, smaller briefcase.

No matter how meaningful that briefcase is to you, however, even if it is all the meaning and use and value you ever needed to survive on your little island, it isn’t incredibly likely to make much a difference to, say, the population of Holland. Which I suspect is usually part of the reason fellows at large prefer not to think about it.

To summarize: gender identity has no value. an abandoned sack of inappropriately disposed 40 year old Taco Bell coupons found by the side of the highway also has no value. Assuming, of course, that you have a very narrow concept of “value” that is limited solely to the efficiency of the American dollar in the trade purchase of delicious inauthentic Tex Mex fast food provided exclusively by Taco Bell at Taco Bell locations. If you are on your way to a trade deal with a Taco Bell museum, however, or freezing to death in woods, that crumpled up bag of trash suddenly becomes a world of possible and potential meanings, doesn’t it

[solustalechoy]

Is this a horrible thing with legs or...a horrible thing with fingers? Or just a horrible thing?

That’s cephalopharyngeal, a word which ought to help. Thank you so much for thinking of me!

[solustalechoy]

[solustalechoy]

put my daughter on the cover of CRIME Magazine, where she belongs

[solustalechoy]

My 1-year-old daughter has a wooden set of classic barnyard animals, which she likes to pick up and bring over to me to make the corresponding animal noises. This set also includes a little wooden farmer, which she also brings over to me, demanding the appropriate noise. And because I'm a little shit, what did I come up with?

*in a high-pitched squeaky voice* "Help me, I've been turned into a block of wood! Help me! Heeeeeelp meeeeee!"

Naturally, it's her favorite of the bunch.

[solustalechoy]

My 1-year-old Baby Bean is poking curiously at the skulls on my T-shirt.

Me: yeah, Bean, that's a skull. You have one, too, under your face.

Bean: *intrigued cooing*

Me: yeah, you have a skull, and your Daddy has a skull, and your Mommies have skulls, and your *proceeds to list off the cats, and her grandparents, and all her assorted aunties and uncles who all presumably have skulls*

Bean: *delighted cooing*

Me: yeah, just about everyone has a skull.

Me: but when you take the skin off of a skull, Oh No, now suddenly it's Weird and Creepy

My wife, from the sewing table: Hon, you sound like a forlorned Ninth House nun.

Me: WELL THEY'RE NOT WRONG

[solustalechoy]

chuds: KINGDOM COME DELIVERANCE SOLD OUT TO THE WOKE LEFT

the woke left: what the fuck is a kingdom come deliverance

the 10 people in the henry x hans capon tag on ao3:

[solustalechoy]

https://twitter.com/mohammadhussain/status/1340439172687998981?s=21

[solustalechoy]

[solustalechoy]

Every time Sean Astin makes a statement on whether or not Sam and Frodo were indeed gay for each other in lord of the rings he’s always like “well we have to acknowledge that attitudes around sexuality have changed dramatically over the past several decades and since authorial intent is only up to speculation, the story is open to multiple readings, some of which might have different significances for different groups of people also they kiss on the lips because I said so”

[solustalechoy]

[solustalechoy]

im telling you all... its so worth it to spend a whole evening make 100 million homemade gyoza (even though it takes so long) and freezing them all to have perfect delicious gyoza just the way you like them anytime you want at a moments notice. they seriously take like 10 minutes to prepare from frozen and they are so good. i just had a dumplings and noodles feast you wish you were me

[solustalechoy]

Also, we've been using euphemisms for death and other uncomfortable topics for a really fucking long time, probably as long as we've had language. We've got a hundred and one ways in the English language to avoid saying the word 'die,' but suddenly tik tok is the problem? Come on. If "passed away" hasn't erased the word from the English lexicon, I really don't think "unalive" has that kind of power.

Guys

[solustalechoy]

folks would really benefit if they stopped framing hanleia’s premarital bickering in esb as a sign of an inherent flaw in their relationship and started viewing as what it really is: two people working to tear down the public facade of the other to get at their actual heart.

every argument they have in esb is either leia actively trying to dismantle han’s tough, cocky, and aloof outer exterior and get him to admit he’s not just working with the rebellion out of convenience but because he’s actually come to care for the cause and the people fighting it (her and luke) and instead of jetting off the moment it starts getting too comfortable, he should face his fears and actually do something worthwhile with that surplus of dumb luck and hotshot charisma he oozes.

or it’s han actively trying to get leia to admit that she actually doesn’t have it all figured out!! oh she might know him like the back of her hand but she’s missing the big flashing sign right in front of her. WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH HIM, PRINCESS?? you think maybe its because you’ve got a big ol’ crush?? oh, sure! he gets it. the rebellion takes priority, she’s all work and no play… but if thats actually the case, would it kill her to stop hounding him about how he might secretly be a good guy?? or, simpler solution, why doesnt she just admit that theres clearly a spark here?? 

[solustalechoy]

i'm just curious bc i'm watching How to Train Your Dragon and i always forget how happy and calm it makes me feel. i mean, i did name my cat after Toothless the dragon. but i also love Lion King, that's my Disney comfort movie. and my Ghibli comfort movie is Spirited Away. watching any of these when i'm in a foul mood or my anxiety is high always helps 🥰 but i watch them just for fun too, not only when i'm in a mood. what about you?

[solustalechoy]

becoming an adult cheat sheet!

learn to coupon

what to do when you can’t afford therapy

cleaning your bathroom

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

stress management

quick fix meals

find out if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

resume workshop

organize your closet

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

what you should bring to a doctor’s appointment

what’s a mortgage?

how to pick a health insurance plan

hotlines list

your first gynecology appointment

what to do if the cops pull you over

things to have in your car in case of emergency

my moving out masterpost

how to make friends as an adult (video)

how to do taxes (video)

recommended reads for surviving adulthood (video)

change a flat tire (video)

how to do laundry (video)

opening a bank account (video)

laundry cheat sheet

recipes masterpost

tricks to help you sleep more

what the fuck should you make for dinner?

where should you go for drinks?

alcohol: know your limits

easy makeup tips

find seat maps for your flight

self-defense tips

prevent hangovers

workout masterpost

how to write a check

career builder

browse careers

birth control information

financial management software & app (free)

my mental health masterpost

my college applications masterpost

how to jumpstart a car

sex ed masterpost