soobfi - Tumblr blog

soobfi · 1 year ago

Text

𐙚 you'll be safe here.

— "when nobody hears you scream, i'll scream with you. you'll be safe here."

genre: heavy angst, fluff in the end (?), strangers (not totally for yj) to potential lovers trope (?),

pairing: coworker/blockmate!yeonjun x afab!reader

warning: mentions of domestic abuse from parents, bullying, self-sabotage, mentions of blood and bruises, mentions of smoking (?), let me know if i forgot anything!

wordcount: 6.4k

now playing: rico blanco — you'll be safe here ୨ৎ

for the most part of your twenty-two years of existence on this very earth, you have learned to endure the bittersweet taste of your life. that includes the nonstop arguments with your parents that would either leave you crying to sleep or wiping the blood from your lips, blood drawn from the hands of your beloved parents, hands that were supposed to comfort you.

school wasn’t any better. the bullying began early, with taunts and whispers that followed you through the hallways. you remember the time in the third grade when a group of kids cornered you, laughing as they ripped your favorite book apart, the one place you found solace. the teachers did little to help, often turning a blind eye to the cruelty. you learned quickly that showing weakness only made things worse.

by high school, you had built walls so high around your heart that not even the most persistent could scale them. you stopped trying to make friends, opting instead to lose yourself in your studies and books. relationships, you told yourself, were for people who hadn’t seen the dark side of those they were supposed to trust. your classmates went on dates, talked about their crushes, and shared stories of first kisses, but you could never relate. love, you decided, was a fairytale for others.

even the few times someone showed interest in you, you found a way to push them away. there was that boy in sophomore year who left a note in your locker, asking you to the winter dance. you tore it up before even reading the whole thing, terrified of what might happen if you let someone in. the idea of being vulnerable, of giving someone the power to hurt you, was something you couldn’t bear.

college was a chance to escape, or so you hoped. moving to a new city for your studies, you thought distance might dull the pain of your past. yet, the ghosts followed you. you watched as your roommates fell in and out of love, experiencing the highs and lows that came with it. you remained on the sidelines, an observer in a world that felt alien to you.

your internships provided a distraction, the only place where you felt you could control your destiny. it was during one of these internships that you met choi yeonjun. he was a stranger, yet not totally. you worked in the same company, though you were sure you hadn’t seen him before. it was a rainy afternoon, during your lunch break, when you first met him. it was during a time when you were bawling your eyes out after yet another argument with your mom over the phone.

seeking peace, you found yourself on the rooftop. the gray sky hung heavy with clouds, and raindrops drummed a steady rhythm on the rooftop. the air was thick with the scent of wet concrete and the faint aroma of cigarette smoke. yeonjun was there, leaning against the railing, smoking and sipping coffee, not minding your wails. well, not totally. he just acted like he wasn't there because he knew that you didn't know someone was up there when you burst in. besides, this was the only time he had seen you having real human emotion. because he often saw you with a poker face. you would smile at your co-workers, but as he observed you daily, he knew those smiles were fake.

he stayed there for a good couple of minutes, watching you break down. your shoulders shook with sobs, and tears streamed down your face, mingling with the rain. he figured it was better to let you cry instead of ruining your moment.

it couldn’t be because you were scolded by your superiors, because yeonjun knew that you excelled in this internship. you were the top student of your batch, after all. he figured it was something deeper.

yeonjun’s mind drifted back to the first time he saw you during freshman year. it was a hectic morning, and he had been rushing to class when he nearly collided with you in the hallway. you were running, your expression one of focused determination as you clutched your books tightly against your chest. he remembered how you had apologized in a breathless rush before darting away. it was in that fleeting moment that he realized you were from the same class.

since then, he found himself intrigued by you. he started paying more attention during classes, watching you as you sat at your desk, absorbed in your work. he noticed how you were always the first to arrive and the last to leave, and how you would quietly, but confidently, engage with the material.

he sometimes hoped you’d glance his way, but you were always so wrapped up in your own world. even in the cafeteria or during coffee breaks, he found himself seeking you out, hoping for a glimpse of your smile or a chance to strike up a conversation.

thinking about what could be the reason why you are crying, he grabbed his handkerchief from his trouser pocket before tossing his cigarette on the ground and stepping on it. just then, he walked over to you.

you wiped the remaining tears from your eyes with your hands as you exhaled a deep breath. "my mom told me once, it's better to talk to strangers because it's less embarrassing." you jolted when you suddenly heard the voice of a man, probably a foot away from you.

you looked beside you to see who it was. you saw a man with a sharp, angular face, defined cheekbones, and a well-defined jawline. his hair was styled in a medium-length, slightly tousled manner, with dark strands framing his face. his straight eyebrows framed calm, contemplative eyes that held a hint of curiosity. dressed in a white shirt with rolled-up sleeves and a black tie, paired with black pants, he exuded a casual yet polished look. but you noticed one thing: he reeked of cigarette.

"who are you?" you asked, your voice shaky. he scoffed lightly. "at least accept my handkerchief first," he said. your eyes landed on his extended hand holding out a blue handkerchief. you looked at him one last time before taking the handkerchief and started wiping your tears.

"i'm yeonjun, choi yeonjun." that name rang a bell. you often heard that name when your colleagues talked about this hard-headed intern who was always late. though you heard he was skillful and passionate about his work, you always heard bad things about that guy named yeonjun.

"you're the stubborn intern," you said. he chuckled to himself, a soft, warm sound that contrasted with the cold rain. "hey, that's too much.." he said, sipping the last of his coffee before tossing the cup into the nearest trashcan.

"did you hear anything?" you asked. to be honest, you weren't afraid of showing your vulnerable side, it's just that you wanted to keep the problem to yourself. "no, i could only hear your wailing," he said with a straight face.

"have you been scolded?" he asked. "why do you ask?" you answered.

"just because..." he said, his voice trailing off as he gazed out over the city, shrouded in mist and rain.

a moment of silence stretched between you two, filled only by the sound of raindrops hitting the rooftop and the distant hum of the city below. yeonjun leaned against the railing, seemingly lost in thought. you couldn’t help but wonder why he was there, offering comfort to a stranger.

“you know,” he began, breaking the silence, “sometimes it helps to talk about what’s bothering you. even if it’s just to a stubborn intern.”

you let out a small laugh despite yourself. “i don’t know where to start,” you admitted, looking down at the handkerchief clutched in your hand, now damp from both your tears and the rain.

“start anywhere,” he encouraged. “i’ll listen.”

taking a deep breath, you started to speak. the words came haltingly at first, but soon they flowed out in a torrent. you told him about the constant arguments with your parents, the pressure to excel, the bullying you faced in school, and the loneliness that seemed to follow you everywhere. you spoke of your fear of letting people in, of being hurt again, and of the walls you had built around yourself.

as you spoke, yeonjun’s eyes never left your face. his gaze was steady and unwavering, offering a kind of silent support. the rain continued to fall, softening into a gentle drizzle, the droplets creating a soothing backdrop to your words.

when you finished, he didn’t offer empty reassurances or try to minimize your pain. instead, he simply said, “i’m sorry you had to go through all that. no one deserves to feel that way.”

“thank you,” you whispered, feeling a strange sense of relief. it wasn’t that your problems were solved, but sharing them with someone, even a stranger, made them feel a little less heavy.

“you’re stronger than you think,” yeonjun continued. “and it’s okay to let people in. not everyone will hurt you.”

you nodded, though a part of you still doubted his words. but there was something about yeonjun’s calm presence that made you want to believe him, to take a chance, even if it was just a small one.

as the rain began to lighten, yeonjun stood up. “i should get back to work,” he said, offering you a gentle smile. “but if you ever need someone to talk to, you know where to find me.”

“thank you, yeonjun,” you said sincerely, feeling a glimmer of hope. maybe, just maybe, things could be different.

the days that followed your encounter with yeonjun were filled with a strange mix of anticipation and apprehension. you found yourself looking for him during breaks, curious to see if he would approach you again. each time you spotted him in the office, a flicker of hope ignited within you, only to be quickly smothered by doubt.

one afternoon, while you were engrossed in your work, a shadow fell over your desk. you looked up to find yeonjun standing there, a tentative smile on his face. “fancy seeing you here,” he said, his tone light.

“this is my desk,” you replied, unable to suppress a smile of your own.

“right,” he said, chuckling. “i just wanted to see if you were okay.”

“i’m fine,” you said, feeling a warmth spread through you at his concern. “thank you for the other day.”

“anytime,” he said, his eyes twinkling. “how about grabbing a coffee later?”

the idea of spending time with yeonjun outside of work both excited and terrified you. but something in his gaze reassured you, made you want to take a chance. “okay,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

as you and yeonjun sat in a cozy corner of a nearby café, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee enveloped you. the atmosphere was warm and inviting, a stark contrast to the cold, rainy rooftop where you first met. you found yourself relaxing in his presence, the conversation flowing more easily than you had expected.

“so, tell me more about yourself,” yeonjun said, leaning forward with genuine interest. “what do you like to do outside of work?”

“i read a lot,” you admitted, feeling a bit shy. “books have always been my escape.”

“i can understand that,” he said, nodding. “i’m more into music. it’s my way of dealing with things.”

“do you play any instruments?” you asked, intrigued.

“guitar,” he said, a fond smile crossing his face. “it’s like therapy for me.”

as you continued to talk, you realized that yeonjun wasn’t just a stubborn intern. he was someone with depth, with his own struggles and passions. the more you learned about him, the more you felt your walls begin to crumble.

as the evening wore on, you and yeonjun decided to leave the place and take a walk through the nearby neighborhood. the streets were lined with small shops and cafes, their warm lights spilling onto the sidewalk, creating a cozy, inviting atmosphere. the soft glow of the lights, coupled with the gentle hum of conversation and the occasional laughter from patrons inside the cafes, made the whole scene feel almost magical.

“do you have a favorite book?” yeonjun asked, glancing at you as you strolled past a quaint bookstore. his voice was warm, genuinely curious, and it made you feel seen in a way you hadn’t in a long time.

“it’s hard to choose just one,” you said, smiling. this was the first time someone had asked something about you, the first time that someone made you think about what you really liked and what your interests are. “but if i had to pick, it would be ‘the little prince.’ it’s always been special to me.”

“i love that one too,” he replied, his eyes lighting up with recognition and shared appreciation. “it’s such a beautiful story about love and loss.”

you walked in comfortable silence for a while, enjoying the sights and sounds of the evening. the air was cool and refreshing, carrying with it the faint scent of blooming flowers and the distant aroma of coffee. eventually, you found yourselves outside a small ice cream parlor. yeonjun turned to you, his eyes playful and filled with a youthful excitement.

“how about some ice cream?” he suggested. “my treat.”

you laughed, feeling a lightness you hadn’t experienced in a long time. “sure, why not?”

inside the parlor, you both chose your favorite flavors and sat by the window, watching the world go by. the place was charming, with vintage decor and soft jazz playing in the background. yeonjun took a bite of his ice cream and grinned at you, his eyes twinkling with mischief and sincerity.

“so, what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but never had the chance?” he asked, genuinely curious, leaning forward slightly to hear your answer.

you thought for a moment, then replied, “i’ve always wanted to travel. see new places, experience different cultures. but i never really had the opportunity.”

“maybe someday you will,” he said softly, his voice filled with a quiet determination. “and when you do, i hope you’ll have someone to share those experiences with.”

you looked at him, your heart swelling with emotion. the more time you spent with yeonjun, the more you began to believe that maybe, just maybe, happiness was within reach. he had a way of making you feel understood and valued, something you had longed for but never thought you deserved.

as you finished your ice cream and continued talking, you realized that this simple evening was one of the best you’d had in a long time. the conversation flowed effortlessly, touching on dreams, fears, and little moments of joy. yeonjun’s presence was a soothing balm to your weary soul, and for the first time in years, you felt a flicker of hope.

as the night deepened, you walked side by side back towards your apartment. the city had taken on a different feel, its usual hustle and bustle replaced by a serene calm. you felt a connection to yeonjun that was undeniable, a bond that was growing stronger with each passing moment.

“thank you for tonight,” you said softly as you reached your building. “it meant a lot to me.”

“anytime,” he replied, his smile gentle and reassuring.

with that, you parted ways, but the warmth of his words and the memory of the evening lingered. as you lay in bed that night, you couldn’t help but replay the moments in your mind.

for the first time, that evening, you drifted off to sleep with a sense of peace you hadn’t felt in years.

over the next few weeks, your interactions with yeonjun became more frequent. you found yourself looking forward to your lunch breaks and coffee runs, each meeting chipping away at the barriers you had built around your heart. yeonjun had a way of making you feel seen, he made you feel like he could help you mend the damages that your life had put you through.

this was the first time you felt this kind of warmth, something you knew you wouldn't get from your parents. he was like a hot coffee on a cold, rainy night, the umbrella shielding you from the scorching summer sun, and the blooming flower tree offering shade on a humid afternoon.

as the days turned into weeks, you noticed a shift within yourself. the cold, hardened exterior you had carefully constructed began to thaw, bit by bit, under yeonjun’s gentle persistence. he never pushed too hard or demanded too much; he was simply there, a constant presence that brought comfort and solace.

one particularly rainy evening, you found yourself alone in the office, the steady patter of rain against the windows echoing the tumultuous emotions within you. you had stayed late to finish a project, but your mind kept drifting to yeonjun and the way he had slowly become a part of your life. just as you were about to pack up and leave, the elevator doors opened, and yeonjun stepped out, a familiar smile on his face.

“working late again?” he asked, walking over to your desk.

“yeah, just finishing up some things,” you replied, your heart lifting at the sight of him.

“want some company for the walk home?” he offered, holding up an umbrella.

you nodded, grateful for the offer. as you both made your way outside, the rain continued to fall in a soft, steady rhythm. yeonjun held the umbrella over both of you, his shoulder brushing against yours as you walked side by side. the city lights reflected off the wet pavement, casting a shimmering glow that made everything feel almost magical.

“you know,” yeonjun began, his voice cutting through the sound of the rain, “i’ve been thinking about what you said that day on the rooftop. about how you’re scared to let people in.”

you glanced at him, your heart racing. “yeah?”

“i just want you to know that it’s okay to be scared,” he continued, his gaze steady and reassuring. “but you don’t have to go through everything alone. you have people who care about you. i care about you.”

you wanted to say something, you really did, but you felt like it might be too rushed for both of you, especially for yourself. you knew you had a lot to fix within yourself, issues that you were afraid to confront now. so instead, you looked at him, stopping in your tracks. “thank you, yeonjun,” you said, your smile genuine and soft.

his eyes lit up at the sight of your smile. “it suits you,” he said, a warm smile tugging at his lips. “what?” you asked, a little taken aback.

“your smile,” he clarified, “it suits you. you look beautiful when you smile.”

you felt a blush creep up your cheeks at his compliment. the simple words seemed to light up the gray evening even more, making the rain feel less heavy and the world a little brighter.

you stand in front of the apartment complex, the rain now a mere drizzle. “i’m good here. i’ll see you tomorrow,” you say, giving yeonjun a small smile.

before you can enter, yeonjun tugs at your sleeve. “do you mind giving me your number?” he asks, holding out his phone with a hopeful expression.

you chuckle softly and type your number into his phone. “there,” you say, handing it back to him.

he lets go of your hand, a shy smile spreading across his face. “thanks,” he says, his voice warm. “i’ll see you tomorrow.”

you nod and wave him goodbye before turning to enter the building. but just as you’re about to step inside, you’re startled by the presence of a middle-aged woman standing in the dim hallway. her face is almost a mirror image of your own, and her eyebrows are furrowed in a disapproving scowl.

“who’s that?” she demands, her voice sharp and accusing.

you freeze, your heart sinking. it’s your mother, the very person you’ve been avoiding. she must have seen you with yeonjun and decided to confront you.

the atmosphere is thick with tension as you step into your apartment, your mother following close behind. the door clicks shut, sealing you both in the small, dimly lit space.

“why are you here? what do you need?” you ask bluntly, your frustration bubbling to the surface.

your mother’s eyes narrow, her expression hardening. “i came to see how you’re doing,” she says, her voice carrying a tone of anger and disappointment. “and I see you’ve been spending time with someone who doesn’t fit our expectations. who is he?”

you freeze, feeling the sting of her words. “he’s just a friend,” you reply, trying to keep your voice steady. “why does it matter to you?”

“it matters because you don’t need distractions,” she snaps. “you should be focusing on your responsibilities, not on... this.”

the heat of the argument builds, and you can’t help but feel a surge of anger. “i’m managing just fine,” you say, your voice rising. “i’m not a child anymore. i can make my own choices.”

“you think you know everything,” your mother retorts, her voice rising with each word. “you think you’re so mature, but you’re just a spoiled little girl who doesn’t understand anything about life.”

her words cut deep, but before you can respond, she takes a step closer, her face inches from yours. “you think you can just throw away everything we’ve done for you?” she hisses. “you’re ungrateful and selfish. you are just confused, you don’t need love, you don’t deserve it.”

“i’m not ungrateful,” you shoot back, tears of frustration pricking at the corners of your eyes. “i’m just trying to live my own life, make my own decisions. you can’t keep controlling everything!”

your mother’s face flushes with anger. in a sudden, sharp movement, she raises her hand and slaps you across the face. the force of the impact sends a stinging pain through your cheek, and you stagger back, stunned.

“you’re nothing but a disappointment!” she screams, her voice cracking with emotion. “you think you’re so grown up, but you’re still a child who doesn’t know what’s best for her!”

you touch your stinging cheek, your heart pounding. the pain of the slap is nothing compared to the ache of her harsh words. you struggle to hold back the tears, your vision blurring.

“i’m trying to be strong,” you say, your voice trembling as you collapse to your knees on the floor. “but you… you keep tearing me down. i just want to be heard and understood!”

you look up at her, your face wet with tears, raw with emotion. “i’ve endured everything you’ve put me through, and not once did I ask for your help. i just want my own life, i want to breathe in a place where i don’t have to feel anxious. i want to be with someone who gives me warmth, something i never once got from you, from either of my parents. so please,” you beg, your voice breaking, “i’m begging you to my knees, leave me alone. let me live.”

the room falls into a heavy silence, your mother’s anger momentarily frozen. her eyes widen as she takes in your crumpled form, the raw vulnerability laid bare. you clutch the floor, feeling the weight of your words and the burden of your past.

gathering all your courage, you stand up, your legs trembling slightly. you pick up your bag and run out of the apartment, your heart pounding with each step. you don’t know where your feet are taking you, but you need to escape the suffocating confines of that place.

you find yourself at a bus stop, the cold metal of the bench biting through your thin clothing. the city around you seems to blur, your thoughts swirling in a chaotic mess. where will you go now? what will you do next? the questions weigh heavily on your mind.

just as you’re lost in thought, your phone buzzes. you pull it out, squinting at the screen. the notification is from an unknown number.

["hey, i just got home. i hope you’re resting well. btw, this is yeonjun!"] the message reads.

right, you gave him your number. the reminder of his kindness sends a pang of guilt through you. you’re about to call him, to tell him what just happened, but something inside you holds back.

"are you really going to tell him about it?" your mind questions harshly. "that’s such a selfish thing to do. keep your problems to yourself. pathetic."

doubts and fears creep into your thoughts. are you really made for love? for living? will there ever be a time when you could truly be happy? as these questions swirl, the moments you’ve shared with yeonjun flash through your memory.

but do you deserve those memories? do you deserve happiness? do you deserve yeonjun? do you deserve the fleeting moments of joy he has brought into your life?

a sigh escapes your lips as you shut your phone off. the weight of your thoughts feels crushing, and you can’t help but feel that you’re not worthy of the happiness you’ve experienced. tears well up, streaming down your swollen cheeks. you smile through the pain, a sad, wistful expression that speaks of resignation.

"it was nice while it lasted," you whisper to yourself, the words barely audible over the hum of the city around you. the bus stop, the cold, and the distant murmur of passing cars all seem to blend into the background as you sit there, feeling the weight of your choices.

the morning after, you drag yourself to work, the weight of your heart making each step feel heavier. you have no recollection of how you got home or how you slept; you only woke up to your usual alarm, moving on autopilot. this isn’t something new to you—you’ve gone to school before with bruises on your lips, so this isn’t a big deal.

you enter the elevator, only to have the doors start to close when someone runs to catch it—yeonjun. he flashes you a bright smile, but it fades instantly when he notices your swollen eyes and the dried blood on your lips.

his frown deepens as he steps closer, his concern palpable. “who did this to you?” he asks, his voice gentle but firm. you turn away from his gaze, trying to hide your face. you had slathered on concealer, but it was clear that it wasn't enough to cover the damage.

“i just overslept,” you try to deflect, but his persistence is unwavering. he gently holds your chin, lifting it so he can see you better. “let me see it,” he demands softly, yet with an undeniable authority.

his touch is light, but it sends a shiver through you. his pinky grazes the bruise on your lip, and you flinch. yeonjun’s eyes widen, his face etched with concern. “fuck, i’m sorry. tell me where it hurts...” he asks, his voice dropping to a comforting whisper.

in another world, you might have let yourself crumble into his arms, crying out all your pain and fear, seeking the warmth he offers. but you remember your mother’s harsh words and the belief that love doesn’t suit you. you know better than to let yourself be vulnerable, even with someone who genuinely cares.

“i’m fine, really,” you manage to say, forcing a weak smile. “it’s nothing.”

yeonjun opens his mouth to respond, but before he can get a word out, the elevator reaches your floor. you step out quickly, almost stumbling as you make your way to the office. yeonjun stands there, watching you with a mix of confusion and concern.

as the elevator doors close behind you, you can feel yeonjun’s gaze lingering, his concern following you down the hallway. you walk with your head down, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other, the weight of your emotions almost too much to bear.

you hear the soft ding of the elevator doors opening behind you and glance back to see yeonjun stepping out, his face a mask of determination. he starts to walk toward you, but you quicken your pace, unwilling to face him any longer.

the office’s hum and the clatter of keyboards fade into the background as you try to shut out the thought of yeonjun’s worried expression. you sit at your desk, forcing yourself to focus on your work, but his concern lingers in your mind, a painful reminder of the warmth and understanding you’ve been trying to keep at arm’s length.

you’ve tried your best to avoid yeonjun every chance you get. you’ve mastered the art of slipping away from conversations and making yourself scarce during breaks, all while maintaining a façade of normalcy at work. it’s been two weeks since that day in the elevator, but despite your efforts, yeonjun’s persistence never wavers.

he seems to have an uncanny ability to find you, whether it’s at the coffee machine, in the break room, or even in passing as you hurry to your desk. his eyes always carry that same mix of concern and care, and he never lets an opportunity slip by without trying to reach out.

one afternoon, as you sit in the break room, nursing a cup of coffee, you hear the familiar sound of the door opening. yeonjun walks in, his gaze sweeping over the room until it settles on you.

“mind if i join you?” he asks, his tone casual but his eyes betraying a deeper worry.

you look up, trying to maintain your composure. “i’m just taking a quick break,” you say, shifting uncomfortably in your seat.

“that’s exactly what i’m here for,” he replies with a small smile. he takes a seat across from you, his eyes not leaving your face.

“you’ve been avoiding me,” he says, the lightness in his voice replaced by a more serious undertone. “i just want to make sure you’re okay.”

you take a sip of your coffee, searching for the right words. “it’s nothing,” you repeat, but the lie feels even more hollow now.

“please,” yeonjun says, leaning forward slightly, “let me help you. i know something’s wrong. you don’t have to go through this alone.”

his sincerity makes your resolve waver. you want to tell him everything, to collapse into his arms and let him take away your pain. but the walls you’ve built around yourself are so strong, it’s hard to let them crumble.

you sigh, looking down at your cup. “why do you care so much?”

“because,” yeonjun says softly, “i see something in you that’s worth fighting for. you don’t have to carry this burden by yourself.”

the words hang in the air, and for a moment, you’re silent. the warmth of his compassion and the strength of his presence make it harder to keep pushing him away.

“you don’t have to worry about me,” you say, your voice trembling. “i managed to be alone before.”

“but you’re not alone anymore,” yeonjun counters gently, his gaze steady and unwavering. “i’m here now.”

his words crack the armor you’ve carefully built around yourself. tears well up in your eyes, blurring your vision as you try to hold back the wave of emotions threatening to spill.

“i’m just a waste of your time,” you say, your voice breaking. “you won’t get anything from me.”

yeonjun's expression shifts, a mix of frustration and sadness crossing his face.before he could even speak, memories flashes in his mind. he recalls the first time he realized he had feelings for you. it was during the freshman year of college, on a day when the rain fell heavily, drumming against the pavement. he had sought refuge under a waiting shed, watching the raindrops splash on the ground, lost in his thoughts.

suddenly, he heard the rush of someone’s footsteps against the wet ground. looking up, his eyes met yours.

time seemed to slow down for yeonjun. “did i startle you?” you asked, your voice breaking through his reverie. it felt like a dream—your presence, your voice, everything.

he awkwardly shook his head, and as he did, you chuckled. it was a sound he hadn’t heard from you before, and it warmed his heart.

you both ended up sitting on the bench in the waiting shed. yeonjun stole glances at you as you smiled to yourself, wiping raindrops from your uniform. he reached into his pocket and pulled out his blue handkerchief, offering it to you. “here, you can use it,” he said.

you looked at him, and with a genuine smile, you said, “thank you.”

in that moment, yeonjun thought you were beautiful—not just because of your smile, but because you had managed to evoke such an intense feeling within him. it wasn’t long before he found himself drawn to you more than he cared to admit.

sophomore year brought new opportunities for yeonjun to observe you. he remembered a particularly rainy day when you both ended up taking shelter under the same awning, waiting for the rain to let up. you were both drenched, but he noticed how you didn’t seem to mind, your focus entirely on the book you were reading. he wanted to approach you, to strike up a conversation and maybe you would remember him from that one rainy day in freshman year, but he was too shy. instead, he settled for watching you from a distance, marveling at how engrossed you were in your own world, occasionally glancing at the raindrops cascading from the awning.

by junior year, yeonjun’s interest in you had only grown. he remembered the day he saw you in the library, surrounded by stacks of books and papers. you looked so determined, so driven, and he couldn’t help but admire you. he spent more time in the library after that, hoping for a chance encounter, but you were always so focused on your studies that you barely noticed him. he would find a spot where he could see you, pretending to be engrossed in his own work, but always keeping an eye on you.

senior year was a turning point. when yeonjun found out that you would be in the same team for the internship, he was beyond delighted. he saw it as his chance to finally get to know you better. during the internship, he tried everything to get your attention. he made sure to be at every meeting early, hoping to catch a moment with you before anyone else arrived. he even started being late on purpose once he noticed how punctual you always were, knowing it would irritate you just enough to make you notice him. he wanted you to see him, to recognize that he was there.

he remembered the little things he did to get closer to you. offering to help you with your projects, asking for your opinion on tasks, and trying to find common ground. he treasured every small interaction, every fleeting glance, and every shared smile. the more he learned about you, the more he wanted to be a part of your world.

and now, standing before you, he realized how much you had come to mean to him. “i don’t think you’re a waste of time,” he replied firmly. “not after spending the last four years of my life admiring you from afar.”

“i can’t give you what you need,” you whispered, pulling yeonjun back from his reverie.

he looked at you, his expression softening even further. “i don’t need anything from you,” he said gently. “i just want to be here for you. you don’t have to be perfect. you don’t have to have everything figured out.”

you shook your head, tears welling up once more. “but you deserve someone who can be everything you need. i’m not that person.”

yeonjun took a step closer, his hand reaching out to gently cup your cheek. “you don’t have to be everything,” he said, his voice unwavering. “you just need to be yourself. and that’s more than enough for me.”

his words, filled with sincerity, made your heart ache. you felt the walls you’d built around yourself starting to crumble, yet the fear of letting him in remained.

“please,” yeonjun continued, “let me be a part of your life. let me help you carry some of this burden. you don’t have to face everything alone.”

you looked into his eyes, seeing the depth of his feelings and the unwavering support he offered. the battle within you raged on, but his presence was a beacon of hope in the storm of your doubts.

“i don’t know if i can,” you whispered, the vulnerability in your voice clear. “i’m afraid of dragging you into my mess.”

yeonjun’s thumb gently brushed away a tear from your cheek. “i already am, when i decided to offer you my handkerchief” he whispered, recalling how the blue handkerchief that had once been drenched with rain from your uniform during freshman year had become soaked with your tears during senior year.

he took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. “when i first saw you that rainy day, i felt something shift inside me. i knew then that i wanted to be there for you, no matter what. and i still do. so, let me be part of your life. let me help you find some peace in all this chaos.”

the sincerity in his words and the tenderness of his touch made it harder to resist. you took a shaky breath, feeling the walls around your heart beginning to crumble. “i’m scared,” you admitted softly.

“i know,” yeonjun said, his gaze steady and reassuring. “but you don’t have to be alone in that fear. let me stand by you.”

the weight of his promise hung in the air, and you found yourself slowly nodding. yeonjun came closer, his forehead resting gently against yours. “just put your heart in my hands,” he whispered. “i know you have doubts and fears, but you’re safe with me. if the world doesn’t understand you, then i will. let yourself be happy for once.”

his words were soft and soothing, creeping from your nerves to your heart. his lips found their way to your forehead, placing tender butterfly kisses that spoke of his unwavering support and affection.

maybe you could be happy. maybe yeonjun was the one to help you through your misery. after all, he was the only person who had ever given you warmth. perhaps love wasn’t just a fantasy after all; it required more than just hope—it required sharing your deepest scars with the person you love. and in your case, that person was yeonjun.

gyo's note: yeonjun have become my unspoken angst muse, i love him sm pls and i hope you will love this too! i was contemplating whether to write this in the first place because of the theme and backstory of reader, but i guess i still did it hehe, i found comfort writing this and i'm hoping you will as well,,, nonetheless, if you made it to this part, thank you so much! you will be loved. xoxo!

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