sophockets

[sophockets]

tiergan, showing photos to houseguests: look this is wylie when he was eight!

prentice, pointing to another photo: and thats a photo of him a week ago when he tripped and fell down the stairs!

wylie: okay dads can we maybe not show embarrassing photos of me to the elven council while theyre asking about the neverseen

emery: no im curious to see the photo of him tripping down the stairs please continue

[sophockets]

keefe: tam, i feel like youre one of those guys who never shares his emotions. we need to fix that

tam: actually, if im annoyed i will simultaneously let everyone know and make it their biggest problem. you just never hear about it because usually youre the reason im annoyed

linh, tams personal therapist: this is true

[sophockets]

biana, sobbing while looking in the mirror: ugh i’ll be ugly forever!!!!

fitz: did you buy the wrong eyelash elixir again

biana, sobbing harder: they look like spider legs!!!!!

[sophockets]

forkle: we need all hands on deck if we’re going to defeat the neverseen

sophie: thats a nice sentiment but im pretty sure i just saw keefe try to eat his own hair gel

forkle:

forkle: we need most hands on deck if we’re going to de

[sophockets]

i think im going to resign

sophie: im sure mr forkle has a really cool secret layer!!

keefe: yeah, it probably has high security and lavish chairs

biana: maybe even a cool kitchen area!!

mr forkle, meanwhile, designing his secret layer:

egg🥚

[sophockets]

hey op this is terrifying !!

hey *oncelers your tam*

[sophockets]

sophie: im sure mr forkle has a really cool secret layer!!

keefe: yeah, it probably has high security and lavish chairs

biana: maybe even a cool kitchen area!!

mr forkle, meanwhile, designing his secret layer:

egg🥚

[sophockets]

marella, whacking jensi with a broom: go back to the rotten sewer you crawled out of

jensi: i live in a jeweled house just like you!!

marella, whacking him harder: your greasy hair begs to differ. you could fry a corndog in it

[sophockets]

sophie: elwin i think im dying

elwin: well bullhorn isnt screaming yet so youre fine

sophie: bullhorn is literally in a food coma right now

[sophockets]

i’ll call this a very long list of highly specific kotlc content

alden vacker telling his kids to simply repress their bad feelings by slapping the phrase “no reason to worry” at the end of each sentence

the song twins being flung into banishment after linh caused a literal natural disaster without warning

keefe sencen (finding out that his dad took mansplain manipulate manifest too literally and then finding out that his mom took gaslight gatekeep girlboss to the brink of death and no return) wanting the hell out of the sencen family name

sophie just wanting one family dinner with grady and edaline without a weird carnivorous creature at havenfield trying to digest its neighbor

that one time in alluveterre when fitz got his hair care regiment completely bonked and demolished by a scrawny strawberry-blond elf and his stupid blond elf in crime

flashback sophie having to take 74 elixirs in the healing center, with at least 15 of them containing some kind of of weird fungus or worse

fitz continuing the never ending alvar slander (that has gone on for three whole years) because if he doesnt channel his anger somewhere he will have to resort to feeling other feelings

[sophockets]

“hey wylie can you do the thing”

“yeah yeah wait a sec”

can flashers make themselves glow like a glowstick,, is that a trick they can do

[sophockets]

can flashers make themselves glow like a glowstick,, is that a trick they can do

[sophockets]

sophie: so hows ro adapting to the lost cities?

keefe, remembering ro’s incredibly long list of the things she hates about the lost cities: shes adapting

[sophockets]

sophie: ugh i hate lord cassius. hes so mean to keefe

dex: i can poison him if you want

sophie: what??

dex, looking up from his chemistry notebook: didnt you just say you hated him or something? idk im trying to help

[sophockets]

iggy, internally: hey silveny

iggy: silveny

iggy: silveny

iggy: silveny pls its important

iggy: silveny im dying

iggy: silveny edalines dying

iggy: silveny i think gradys dying

iggy: silveny i-

silveny, telepathically: WHAT DO YOU WANT

iggy:

iggy: i have a tummy ache can you get sophie

[sophockets]

why would you hide this in the tags

fitz: lately keefes been using his own name as an adjective. its the most annoying thing ive ever heard but no one knows how to stop him

keefe, after tam ignored him for three days in a row: tam this isnt very keefe of you please respond

[sophockets]

lady galvin: i dont get scared easily, but when sophie foster comes into my classroom i immediately fear for my life

councillor emery: im sorry, you decided to bring this to the council because…?

lady galvin: it is because i believe she is a national threat and should be detained