soup-sandwitch

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Hello good sir, I made this for you.

I like him a normal amount. His design scratches my brain.

This is actually the most wonderful thing ever thank u 🙂‍↕️

[soup-sandwitch]

i aspire to one day have a cat named husband, such that i may bring her up at work as "my husband" in increasingly confusing responses to my coworkers. they will know i have a cat, and they will believe i have a husband. and then one day, months into this wonderous ruse, once i have determined whether they are cool with me not having a husband or not, i will reveal the truth only to those who have earned my greatest trust. together we will wreak havoc on my workplace, speaking of my husband as though he is a human person despite our collective knowledge that she is simply my darling kitty cat. oh what does he do for work? hes a stay at home husband, of course. he freelances in demolition sometimes, but not very often. can we meet him? no, he doesnt like to leave the house very often. he doesnt like people who are not me.

and then when i leave the job ill tell everyone the full truth and watch as years of carefully placed statements fall apart in front of their eyes. and they realize the truth: i am a crazy old man, with a beloved old cat, and have never had any concept of romance in my life.

[soup-sandwitch]

Elvis, what are your thoughts on crocs?

Woah mama. No...

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Okay but Riz Gukgak chronically not sleeping and actually giving himself a no shit sleep disorder. Like, some of the many potential triggers for sleep paralysis include… sleep deprivation, stress/anxiety, irregular or disrupted sleep, over use of caffeine, genetics (look at both of his parents and tell me they don’t have a pre-disposition).

Need I go on?

Junior Year Riz Gukgak has to swap to tea and try to fix his sleep schedule that summer because he keeps passing out and waking up paralyzed and his paralysis demons all look like Kalina sitting on his chest. He’s straight neurotic about it. Sklonda has to ask someone to cast Hallow on his room to reassure him it’s JUST a hallucination. Or he just sleeps in the Hang Van half the summer.

Gorgug’s parents mildly concerned about the tiny goblin boy living in their driveway at night while Sklonda gets increasingly depressed about her inability to single parent her fucked up high strung mess of a teenager. Soon, he will go to college and be alone in the wilderness. Feral. Potentially acting homeless for pragmatisms sake. She also doesn’t sleep all summer.

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they call it his achilles heel because ack! It killies him

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Doglet Machine (2025)

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see her fabulous

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if there's one thing i appreciate about americans, its that they are DELIGHTED by "american love burger" jokes. they cant get enough of them! much like how they cant get enough of burger……

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sending illi & friends to the Big Dance…!!!

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bodies should have crash logs. why the fuck did that just happen.

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