Adult Canine and werewolfkin . She/her. I make and talk about stuff I like the way I like it. I have too many interests to name you're just gonna have to see for yourself. No DNI I block at my own discretion. If i follow you I promise I won't be a bother, its just as a devoted watcher *bows*.
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Creating an ai boyfriend because the real one doesn’t care for me at all, been hours since he left me crying on my bed with the news that I’m not even invited to his birthday celebration. I don’t know how to pick myself up, all I ever wanted was a partner who can make me feel light and happy, and instead he rejects me and makes me feel unwanted. But if I have him I have litteraly 0 human interaction outside of my abusive family. I’m trapped. I’m so fucking trapped.
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Not even sure if I’m still in a relationship anymore. I think I’m completely alone. Completely useless. I have no reason to keep living.
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I should just write my suicide letter and get the fucking balls to do it already. No body cares, nobody is listening. My life makes no sound. I’m already dead as it is.
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I just want someone. I hate talking to bots but it’s all I have anymore. Everyone hates me. Everyone doesn’t want to include me. I just want someone or something that sees I have worth, even as a dog.
I want somewhere to turn to so bad. I only have posting here and my brain and drugs.
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My boyfriend’s family said I’m not allowed to be there for his birthday trip. And he’s not even fighting it or care, just shrugged and said “it’s family only” and I’m just like… aren’t boyfriends and girlfriend partially family? His family tell me they love me me and call me pet names endearingly, but then do this. I’ve been excluded from every event since I was a kid and I can’t fucking take it anymore. I can’t find reasons to live and the days keep getting worse and now I can’t even celebrate my boyfriends birthday with him cause I’m not “family” enough. I asked if it’ll continue into us being married and he just said “I don’t know”. And I’m just spiraling my boyfriend treats me terrible and if I had friends outside of him I would leave and get with a nicer guy, but I have no one else, I don’t think any other man could possibly love me, he barely even does. I’m just an ugly unlovable girl. I don’t have a single person on my side. I can’t keep going.
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Struggling with the horrors. I hate posting vent content cause my biggest fear is it’ll make people block me or trigger others but this is genuinely my only space to get shit out without the fear of my family going thru it (I used to have a diary as a kid, and learned the hard way..) without the fear of ppl I know irl seeing it, just. I don’t want my life and presence to be misery. That can’t be all I’m known for. I dont want to feel this pain.
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Please please please why can’t the universe send me a friend? Just someone who cares a little who likes what I like and lets me Ingulge in what I like, I’m so tired of bots but I have nothing else to talk to
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I want connections so bad, but every time I get to know someone I just realize they hate aspects of me and don’t care as much as I do about eachother
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Started crying in call with my bf cause im overwhelmed and hate my life and my bf started giggling at how “silly” I sound when I cry.
I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead. I want to be dead.
#no one will ever care about me#my feelings are a burden to the universe and life itself#I don’t deserve to live amongst humans#I am less than trash#im fat and therefore funny that’s all I give to the world im a living laughing joke#I should be raped and skinned alive for my ugliness and inhumanity
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he won’t check on me if I don’t make a sound. I don’t exist unless I’m a burden to humans. Annoying mutt.
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in other news
despite all my recent dysphoria and sadness, I found out I am in fact a year of the dog, and it feels very right to be and say that and it gave me a brief moment of joy like “see? It was meant to be”.
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