My name’s Jasper and I’m captain of the crew Nightmare’s Dream, not part of a flag yet. Right now my crew is just me (M28), my best friend Applezjuice (M20-something) and sometimes my dad (M64). I use this blog as my little journal because my memory is ass and a half.—My personal goal was to mem the ocean and I did it! Now I want to have a ship ported at every island so I can whisk anyone anywhere for monster frays. As of 6/18/25, I have 19 ships ported at 19/92 islands (20.7%)—I’m probably the only person on the face of this earth whose therapist says they need to play MORE YPP but I’m a diagnosed agoraphobe with severe social anxiety and it’s the only socialization that I get. I’m getting more and more brave but I’m a work in progress. I’m very proud right now because I’m able to post in trade chat and reply without freezing up.—Always recruiting if you care to join us! And I’m online starting at 10:30 EST every day if you care to chat :)
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Changing my username has been oddly similar to when I changed my legal name. I felt really awkward for a little bit (Like who is going to call me my new name? Especially since I’ve had my old one for years…) but then people started to use the name. Occasionally, people will just refer to me as Soup and it sends a little thrill through me. Like OH YEAH! THATS ME!!! And it makes me feel so happy that I changed it…
#i want nothing to do with my old username at all#but Soup is my cat and I love that girl to shreds#so when ppl refer to me as soup online i just get the giggles a little#ahh i’ve written and rewritten this too many times#i am exhausted#but yeh no more regrets over username change
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Bahaha. It actually happened.
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I charted a hearty and he asked how much he owes me. Man, I’ll do this for free. It took what, a couple of minutes? I appreciate the tips and all, but truly I just like being helpful c:
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You know, I looked back on old posts and I have come very far. Hearty requests made me extremely happy because who the hell wants to be my friend? But I got way more confident and now I know that I’m wanted. Posting in trade chat used to make me freeze up with anxiety but I can do it relatively easily now. I’m able to send tells when someone needs a charter and it doesn’t faze me at all. Man, YPP has made a huge impact on my anxiety and I’m just so much more confident online now. My therapist told me that this would help me so much and she was totally right! 😁
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I flirted with women on YPP today and one of them was into it even tho I’m a trans guy ./////. Definitely definitely not used to that…
#i don’t even usually flirt with cis women because well… duh#actually i don’t usually flirt AT ALL#but i was a lil drunk and the opportunity presented itself and…#well my brain has been torturing me for hours#not ever once in my entire life have i thought i would be appealing to cis women in any way#i described myself as a guy but without the peen and she was like i’m a closeted bisexual and that’s really hot
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ADNERB HAS JUST BEEN BRENDA BUT BACKWARD THIS WHOLE TIME?!?
#i can’t tell if i’m too drunk or too sober for this anymore#but here’s the question#is her name actually brenda#would be funny if not
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Just yesterday I was like, does this one person ever accept hearty requests or are they the one that sends them? We’ve seen each other A LOT and I really don’t have much skin the game, so let’s see.
Lo and behold, today I received a hearty request. Amazing.
Manifesting my shit over here lmao
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I’m really not even that good at any of the puzzles and yet I get invited to do stuff semi-regularly. What’s up with that?
#in fact once i was called out for being too tired to continue and being toxic#the reality was that i was drunk and high on gaba and weed lol#i guess usually people like me though?#wtf
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I love when my friends specifically ask me to voice chat ;w; I haven’t felt so wanted since about 2019 before things went sour with my friend group in uni. I vowed to never have friends after that, partially because I was too wary and partially because I thought I was going to “catch the bus” as they call it in the years since then. I have only known these people for, what, two or three weeks? And I already feel a kinship of sorts that I haven’t in five or six years. It’s… Unexpectedly nice tbh
#my mental health people are all very proud#i’m kind of proud too#makes me think twice about ending it all if i’m being honest#you know someone invited me to voice chat TODAY???#that’s fuckin crazy#i guess i’m nice enough that they wanted me?#despite me being a drunk and all#my brain is short circuiting#i don’t get this… but it’s nice
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Oh no, I have A Sads tonight. You know, again. Has to do with my ex, how she’s an independent pirate now, and how my ex-captain invited me to be part of his flag. If he had contacted me a week earlier? Just shortly after she had left the flag and crew? I might have. But two things:
1. I have made too much progress in the last four days. I met new people. I joined a Discord VC with a bunch of people who I didn’t know at all prior and I have received lots of praise from my loved ones for it
2. He should have talked to me before then. I would have joined. But I’m stuck here wondering: What did she do? What did she say to him? Did she say anything? Did he take my side? Has anyone ever been there to take my side, even with her report on how fucking awful I was? Did my (hopeful) timidness and (hopeful) politeness ever make a difference? Did it matter that I was a drunkass alcoholic when anyone spoke to me?
#oh this is tmi for SURE#i think i will politely explain that my internet went out around the time he invited me#and nicely ask what his thought process was#i must know#the curiosity is killing me
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Well well well, it appears as though my ex is no longer part of it any of it. She was also online on the 10th at 6 AM. The answer is still no but isn’t that some tasty gossip
I got invited to be in the flag belonging to my ex’s crew so OF FUCKING COURSE this is when my wifi craps out!!!
#the flag i’m in has been better to me than their flag and crew have really ever been#btw girl you got a real job now wtf you doin up at 6 AM on a tuesday???#unless it didn’t work out which would surprise nobody
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I got invited to be in the flag belonging to my ex’s crew so OF FUCKING COURSE this is when my wifi craps out!!!
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I’m literally going to puke or some shit. I won a bat the other day thru shitty means (Was too tired to effectively continue doing lairs but did anyway) and someone just bought it for 950k. That’s almost double what I’ve managed to scrape together so far
#important to note also#i have stress induced nausea anything that induces stress also induces nausea#this includes positive stress btw#i saw a movie once that i was so good that i had to take a breather before getting in the car#didn’t want to mess up the interior
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Psh. I wanted to join an HS but I already made 20k by charting. I could have lost anywhere from 30 minutes to several hours if the HS sunk so it’s not so bad
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Why is it that I debate sending out an offer in trade chat expecting (Hoping?) nobody will get back to me and then they do? Like ya, my therapist is really proud of how far I’ve come and all but I still have a crapton of anxiety about every little thing.
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I saw my therapist today and she says she’s seen amazing strides in my ability to talk to people online since I started playing YPP without my ex sheltering me. I love earning her praise and I’m very proud of myself c:
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