sp-acemonkeymafia

[sp-acemonkeymafia]

spongebob was probably a real person but i don't think he was the son of god

we know the historical SpongeBob existed in bikini bottom around may of 1999, but the actions and mythology attributed to him are riven with political influences. It's possible that many instances are also conflated with Squidward of Tarsus.

[sp-acemonkeymafia]

When I (M29) was a young boy (M7) my father (M35) took me into the city (X167) to see a marching band (M23, M21, M22, F22, M24, M25, F21, M

[sp-acemonkeymafia]

Wait a minute. JRPG is the initials of the betles

[sp-acemonkeymafia]

interview with angelocaris

[sp-acemonkeymafia]

Jerry suspects the oracle might be flirting with him. Elaine attempts to break up with a chariot racer by joining the vestal virgins. Kramer makes raunchy pottery. George refuses to believe that he has been cursed.

[sp-acemonkeymafia]

there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

[sp-acemonkeymafia]

hey. hey you. stop for a sec and write a poem. write it about whatever you want make it good make it bad idc. long or short. poignant or not. post it or put it in the reblogs or send it to a friend or keep it to yourself but sit for a little bit and write a poem. for the soul

[sp-acemonkeymafia]

first 5 faceless emojis are how your summers gonna go

[sp-acemonkeymafia]

steven is a really funny character actually. he never went to school. one of his powers is astral projection for no real reason. hes a musical prodigy. he was so traumatized by the end of the show they had to make an entire epilogue series about it. he spent seven years looking like a 3rd grader. he was even bisexual

[sp-acemonkeymafia]

[sp-acemonkeymafia]

It's easy to think "nobody in the whole wide world cares about me" on an empty stomach but try doing it while eating Vegetables and Rice. Seems less convincing now doesn't it? That's simply the power of Vegetables and Rice..

[sp-acemonkeymafia]

as is tradition, happy pride from everyone's favorite transgender video game couple!!!

[sp-acemonkeymafia]

Vikings didn't have horns on their helmets but I bet if you showed them a single modern Viking depiction they'd all start doing it like gangsters imitating The Godfather

[sp-acemonkeymafia]

The production value here is off the charts but this is also literally just what it feels like to play Uno.

legendaryjay_ on TikTok

[sp-acemonkeymafia]

Kingfisher and Great Egret lined up just right

[sp-acemonkeymafia]

Unusual Curses

Doesn't know what doors are. Can't learn.

Slow, inexorable transformation in a tumblr sexyman.

You don't turn into a ravenous wolfman every full moon, but you're utterly convinced you do.

Every car you enter becomes a cybertruck.

Transparent skin and glowing bones.

You constantly hear Doug Walker reacting to everything you do in your head.

You can't perceive cats anymore.

Everyone you love will die, in probably a maximum of 90 years.

Can't ever enter Nevada.

Will instantly die if you ever see a tiktok.

Every meal you eat is mashed potatoes. No matter what you intended to make, order or buy, it's mashed potatoes.

Thou cannot walketh where a passenger pigeon flew this tenday (this was a bigger problem 200 years ago).

In seven days, Sadako will do a corporate buyout of your workplace and fire you.

You are simultaneously desperate to find truth but have limited perceptions and subjective biases that render you fundamentally unable to ever be truly certain of truth, as well as fearing death while being unavoidably mortal, unlike most people who are immortal and know the universe directly.

Fuck this. Fuck you. Crabs upon you.