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Remus: “Pardoned of all current crimes to the Slytherin throne?” What the fuck did you do?

Sirius: Piss off Moony, you’re literally a pirate. I doubt your record is clean.

Remus: You were a prince! What crimes can a prince possibly commit against his own throne?

Regulus: Oh. You didn’t hear? Sirius murdered father.

Remus: You killed the king…

Sirius: I ridded the world of a sorry sack of shit is what I did.

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Marauders Pirate AU

When James mentioned that he and Sirius would need training, Regulus assumed they’d be doing something practical like learning how to tie knots or hoist the sails.

Apparently James deems hand to hand combat as more of a priority.

It makes sense to an extent he supposes. If they are to run into any trouble, it’d be good to know he and Sirius can hold their own rather than relying on others to stay safe.

But as he watches his brother clumsily handle a sword with so much carelessness Remus has to step up behind him to demonstrate how to adjust his grip, he can’t help but feel this is a waste of time.

Sirius was able to handle every common type of sword with ruthless precision by the time he was thirteen. Back home, they considered him a prodigy in pretty much any form of combat. He’d even been responsible for training some of the palace knights.

And now here he is, faking incompetence to flirt with a pirate.

— Who’s a Heretic, Child? (Chapter 6)

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Marauders Pirate AU

IF they were capable of operating this ship on their own, Evan would have given in to Barty’s suggestion of mutiny ages ago.

Problem is, everyone else on this crummy vessel believes the sun shines out of Riddle's arse or something, so there’s really no chance that the two of them would survive turning their backs on captain shit bag.

It’s quite literally the middle of the night and Riddle’s harebrained second in command has been lecturing them on something or other for just short of an hour.

It’s beyond tiring.

“I think I’ve figured it out, Rosie.” Barty whispers in faux wonder. “Lestrange is actually infatuated by the sound of his own voice. It must be some sort of psychological failsafe since he knows no one else could love him.” He has an arm slung around Evan’s shoulder, his exhaustion showing as he settles most of his weight on him. Riddle has them on deck for an absurd percentage of the day.

Breaks are nonexistent.

Sleep is a luxury.

“Could’ve told you that ages ago Bee. When I told him to go fuck himself the other day, I genuinly worried he didn’t take it as an insult.” Barty’s snickers are covered by Rabastan’s continued nonsensical ramblings.

Before the idiot can work himself up to the point of aneurysm, Riddle steps out from the captain’s cabin, the resounding echo of his boots against the floorboards effectively quieting the group within seconds.

— Who’s a Heretic, Child? (Chapter 9)

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ok, for those of you who don't know, jk rowljng donated £70k to an organisation of Scottish women who wanted the legal definition of a woman to be based on biological sex alone in the uk. today they had this ruled for in court.

the legal definition of a woman in the uk is now based purely on biological sex, likely preventing trans people from changing their sex on legal documents. we are still apparently protected from discrimination though.

the worst part of this is that news reports have been treating this as a good thing. jk rowling is painted as an amazing person in school assemblies. after doing not only what she does on twitter, but actively funding the discrimination of trans people.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/63520897/chapters/162773404

First fic!!