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kinda sick of all those posts that are like "my ancestors were surviving starvation and the plague meanwhile i get nervous ordering food at restaurants". as if jauffrey the woodworker didn't fumble his conversation with the fine maiden running the fruit stand and then tripped on a pebble as he left in a hurry

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how could i possibly fucking choose

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My favorite part of FMA brotherhood is that before and after the commercial breaks they say “FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST” except since netflix doesn’t have commercial breaks it’s just “fullmetal alchemist FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST”

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i hate when girls feel dumb for trying to see the best in people and then end up hurt or disappointed like no!! it’s those people that were dumb for misleading you. they took advantage of your kindness and generosity, and they’ll rot for it 

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my one superpower is that i can instantly tell when someone who doesn’t use the word “ya’ll” in their day-to-day speech starts using it to be sanctimonious and folksy on the internet

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your honor i was just being a little silly

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social media is just oscillating between “cringe culture is dead! enjoy your interests without shame!” and “we should bring back bullying and social ostricization” every couple of months

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are you this stupid in real life too

Uh huh just about

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lord forgive me but I may have to make a nonessential purchase

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how come cats look outside and start vibrating their little mouths so much and so quick while sounding like they are printing copies from a fax machine. why do birds do that to them.

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if you want the rewards of finding a new favorite song then you have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of listening to unfamiliar music

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I wish I had the ability

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