sprout-gen

[sprout-gen]

[sprout-gen]

don't like auto-flush toilets. like excuse me I'll tell you when to swallow

[sprout-gen]

you sir have lost the internet. You do not deserve my reddit gold, nor my most epic of upvotes. Leave these lands and never return from the accursed realm you travel to

[sprout-gen]

all the “peer pressure is bad” education we give kids is practically useless because all it cares about is telling them that Drugs Are Evil rather than the much more useful lesson of ‘the person who responds to you saying you don’t drink by telling you they’ll find a way to get you to is also going to be shitty about all your other boundaries’.

[sprout-gen]

I hope a webp image feels the equivalent of human pain when I convert it to a png image

[sprout-gen]

a doordasher bringing mcdonalds to a group of four 25 year olds who have the exact same arrangement as the grandparents in willy wonka and the chocolate factory

[sprout-gen]

"fruit has sugar" warning post reminds me of my coworker who told me to make sure I don't get "addicted to fruit". yeah i'm also addicted to a nice walk on the beach

[sprout-gen]

the kids have been researching animals and we're teaching them to add information to a slideshow but they're also only 6-8 years old and learning how to use computers and the result is some really funny slides :')

the fanciest font for such a tiny amount of information

(this is about capybaras that definitely do not live in south australia)

more capybaras and real "graphic design is my passion" vibes

note the slide, and the picture and title that are mostly NOT on the slide

well, he's not wrong

[sprout-gen]

Male writers writing female characters:

“Cassandra woke up to the rays of the sun streaming through the slats on her blinds, cascading over her naked chest. She stretched, her breasts lifting with her arms as she greeted the sun. She rolled out of bed and put on a shirt, her nipples prominently showing through the thin fabric. She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards.”

[sprout-gen]

they should invent an apartment that has huge windows but is never too hot and is near everything i like and all my friends but is also quiet when i want it to be and costs zero dollars or perhaps they pay me to live in. and they save it just for me so i dont have to look for it :)

[sprout-gen]

lost in the moss

[sprout-gen]

[sprout-gen]

I wish they could invent a medical device that temporarily transfers your symptoms and pain to the doctor treating you and it worked like a shock collar. “I think light exercise would-.” and then bam they’re rolling around the floor clutching their stomach in agony and dry heaving.

[sprout-gen]

hate when I'm trying to just take a normal drink but it turns out I'm thirstier than I thought so I end up gulping it down like a goddamn cartoon characer. the indignity of water lust.

[sprout-gen]

[sprout-gen]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged