squiddlordd

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petition for hozier to cover unholy by sam smith

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women only want one thing and its other women

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I hate that after you hit 21 you run out of new privileges to earn. I think at 25 I should be able to use dynamite recreationally

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Charles Bukowski, Pulp

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gotta take her to an Italian restaurant on a first date because if she can tolerate the way I eat spaghetti then she’s a keeper

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Bob’s Burgers, Go Tina on the Mountain (S08E15)

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Might fuck around and create a fantasy world in my mind to distract myself from the pressures of reality.

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the fact that 2016 was 5 years ago and 2022 is just 4 months away is making my eye twitch…. need a support group for people who can’t process the linear progression of time

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its okay to be a stupid bitch with no career aspirations ... embrace it

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The coronavirus is like when Ron couldn’t stop throwing up slugs, except it’s completely different

you’re right it’s exactly like that but completely different

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who needs therapy or antidepressants when you can make cheese sauce

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um no offense but my body’s made of crushed little stars. and i’m not afraid of anything :/

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my love language is the same as a crow. if you’re nice to me i’ll bring you useless little trinkets from my travels that made me think of you

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“My child is fine!”

Your child literally cannot function without making up and playing out fictional fantasies in their head, disconnecting from reality and therefore not getting anything done because it’s a way for them to cope with reality and the trauma they haven’t been able to address.

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*me making my seventh tea / coffee of the day* maybe this little beverage will motivate me to finish my work