squirble

[squirble]

sorry but there is no romance in bluetooth earbuds. they're very handy and nice but nothing will ever compare to sharing a pair of corded earbuds with someone to listen to music or watch a video and leaning together so the earbuds don't get pulled out. even now when i get handed a bluetooth earbud to share i lean close out of instinct. we need to bring the cords back for the love of god

[squirble]

positive affirmations!

i have not been poisoned by a witch

[damage noise]

[damage noise]

[damage noise]

[damage noise]

[damage noise]

[squirble]

been going insane over Bruce in his eating dome for 24 hrs now

[squirble]

they need to invent a career path that is like a nun but you don't have to be religious. you just live in a monastery and have lesbian sex

[squirble]

An Indian snow leopard photographed by Prasenjeet Yadav

[squirble]

[squirble]

happy thursday everyone

[squirble]

ive had a fucking iv in my arm since 10am and it's starting to bruise:(

[squirble]

just beheld an innocent cashier oops

so i'm at petsmart paying the invoice for my cat's nail trim, and the cashier is staring at me as he taps in the phone number. it brings up my mom's name and i kind of wanted to assure him my name wasn't carolyn so i went "haha, that's my mother. motheeeer." in what was apparently a distinctive and recognizable voice because he went, "you know, that's so weird, because i was just thinking i'm gonna watch all the toy story movies tonight. how did you know that?"

i don't even know that reference because i haven't seen all the toy story movies and it's been years anyway, so i definitely didn't know that but i'm just here like, "haha oh, yeah, i'm a little psychic, sorry." just a laugh y'know little things can be brushed off.

but he goes, "what color am i thinking of?"

in my head i'm immediately like purple but i tend to second guess myself so i went "uhh, hm. green." and he went "nope, close," and despite it not being anywhere close to green i just went, "oh, so it WAS purple."

and he FREEZES. and he's like. "...it was green first but i changed it to purple."

so i'm like "...i thought purple first and changed it to green. nice."

so that was apparently him trying to dodge my psychic beam and me trying to spare him but we intersected anyway. my jimmies are thoroughly rustled by this point.

but then he's like, "alright, what number am i thinking of between 1-10."

i don't hesitate this time before i look him in the eyes and say, "3. or 4, i guess." because again i always just give an additional option just in case usually to deter suspicion which. didn't work because he got so quiet and shrank a little like "...it was 3. i don't think i like this game anymore."

i can't stop laughing this was so fucking weird. just triple read a random dude's mind at petsmart wyd

[squirble]

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

[squirble]

spicing up conversations by saying 'you really believe in that' at the most basic inane things

[squirble]

PRISON

[squirble]

In this profile we kiss after having oral sex.

[squirble]

[squirble]

No one will understand how much rage it took to become this quiet