sssamthesnake

[sssamthesnake]

[sssamthesnake]

What’s the point of a diary if no one is gonna stumble upon it centuries later and fall in love with you after you’re dead?

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Taron Egerton being hit on by old, British legends (Requested by Anonymous)

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the muppets, 1x01: “Pig Girls Don’t Cry.”

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Don’t call me out like this

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the most iconic minute in tv history (x)

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Can’t wait to freeze my ass off outside and then roast to death inside lecture halls in jan

[sssamthesnake]

my body, my art

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[sssamthesnake]

I’m going to rewrite the harry potter series and it’s going to be called Hermione Granger and The Glorious Glock where she gets a gun and shoots voldemort through the skull and then everyone is free to continue their education in peace. It’ll be 3.5 pages long. 

[sssamthesnake]

kid: dad whats a 69

dad: well son, a 69 is when two people who love each other very much get together with a 6 and a 9 and a 5 6 7 8 [spotlight turns on] [dad breaks into jazz number]

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This person is what I want to be as a parent.

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just as advertised

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Me: loves to lick the spoon after stirring brownie batter, doesn’t care about Sal Monella, whoever that is

[sssamthesnake]

Leonardo DiCaprio: *names his child Oscar*

Doctor: "Would you like to hold h-"

Leonardo DiCaprio: "Say it like we rehearsed it."

Doctor: *sighs* "And the Oscar goes to..."