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THE WITCHER timeline

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Another fuckin’ witcher. Your kind already swindled us once.

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Yennefer: I sleep with a dagger under my pillow.

Renfri: weak, I sleep with a sword.

Jaskier: You‘re both pathetic.

Yennefer: Oh? What do you sleep with?

Jaskier: Geralt.

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#cavill: i can’t believe i’m going to sleep with my armour on #the showrunners: well you don’t have to #cavill: no i’m gonna

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Witcher thoughts

Imagine being Stregobor tho.

This witcher disrespected you and you taught him a lesson by destroying his reputation, saddling him with the title of butcher of blaviken for the rest of his life, ensuring that people will always look at him with disgust, hatred and fear.

And then some fucking bard from nowhere writes an absolute banger about him and you suddenly can’t go fucking anywhere without hearing ‘ohhh valley o’ plentyyy!’ somewhere in the background.

The witcher is now a legend, a sodding folk hero.

Just imagine

the pure

incoherent

fury.

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concerned puppy dog geralt

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If provoked Jaskier would 100% stab you, steal your horse and write a song about how your dick is small and here’s why:

So yes, everyone knows Jaskier is a sweet cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

But

He’s also a completely insane fucking son of a bitch, like did y’all miss how the first thing he comes up with when he thinks he’s got a fucking djinn doing his bidding 

Is sending said djinn to outright kill a motherfucker???

Did y’all sleep through that? Valdo Marx ring a bell?

This bitch has the stones to go around fucking the wives of anyone, no matter how powerful or likely to hang him? Sing about abortion? Get punched in the family jewels by a witcher and keep following him? Make snide comments at Yennefer of fucking Vengerberg and y’all think he’s some kind of helpless puppy?

Jaskier has Feral Slav Energy in perfect balance and symbiosis with Flower Child Energy and I Respect That And So Should You Or Your Mom A Hoe

thank you for coming to my ted talk

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i’ve been listening to Iris by the goo goo dolls on repeat and drawing this  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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excuse me

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Sea Glass By IG: @seaglass_takechan

takipçi hilesi Pinterest: @artwoonz

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Necromancer that doesn’t know they’re a necromancer and thinks they’re just a really good emt

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jonas brothers really out here making damn sure we all know they’re getting dominated by their hot wives

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why limit yourself between choosing between a pretty feminine aesthetic or a dark one? if persephone can be the goddess of spring & queen of the underworld at the same time so can you

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Uncultured Friends 📱

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Hey, @the-rain-on-your-dandelions, has anyone told you that you’re a genius? That’s an incredible system. I wish I had a friend group that could function for!

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when they jonas brothers were like “i came from the year 3000..not much has changed but they live underwater..” that was a politically charged remark about climate change and we all ignored it