stacyshotmom

[stacyshotmom]

[stacyshotmom]

I hear the words "bichon frise" and my brain spends an uncountably long moment frantically overturning every memory I have, desperately trying to remember what foreign luxury car brand I have to pretend to care about in order for this conversation to go favorably. After my every mote of knowledge about cars has been thoroughly ransacked and I am on the verge of failing this social interaction, a smudged sticky note flutters into view that simply says "small white dog."

[stacyshotmom]

[stacyshotmom]

[stacyshotmom]

just got back from the grocery store and realized i forgot to kill everyone

[stacyshotmom]

remember how it felt when we are young by fun was always on the radio. that’s gone forever i fear

[stacyshotmom]

i reblogged your post way better than that guy

[stacyshotmom]

nothing more humbling than watching your mom reload the dishwasher after thinking you did it well

[stacyshotmom]

i don’t believe in waking up before 10am

[stacyshotmom]

[stacyshotmom]

Girldick this, boydick that, I’m hunting MOBY Dick

[stacyshotmom]

relationships and jobs are temporary. your shitty unpopular tumblr blog is forever

[stacyshotmom]

[stacyshotmom]

yes hi we are job website, we have plenty of diverse jobs for you! so do you want to do manual labor or get yelled at on the phone? those are the two options isn't our economy so ripe with opportunity

[stacyshotmom]

oh you watched a movie I recommended????? you listened to a song I told you about ?????? you read one of my favourite books ?????? do you know that I would literally kill for you ????? let's drink each others blood

[stacyshotmom]

[stacyshotmom]

forgot to poke air holes in the crotch of my pants and my penius died:(