stansim

[stansim]

If only, one could send emotions like texting, would it be called emotioning? Would it be a new word! Feel it my friend, save it or delete it! One's words could never fully represent one's emotions, even for an accomplished writer, I believe, defiantly. As I question the banality of my thoughts, *scoffs*, somehow I just can't put this across poetically. Perhaps the brilliant yet peculiar Fernando Pessoa would have shed a different light in one of his heteronyms! And perhaps, not belonging..

Should one be frivolous? Even if it's for a couple of days..

[stansim]

The Book of Disquiet, Fernando Pessoa

[stansim]

"Awareness precedes change." - Robin Sharma

Sometimes, images pop up in your head, catching you off guard, lips slightly stretched into a smile. A subtle, inconspicuous smile, shying away from attention.

The almost picturesque art piece that effortlessly appears in your mind like a PowerPoint fade in slide; when you are dreamy, tired, a friendly thin fog - an almost familiar place. Oh! That movie, those lyrics, that half image of a person you saw across the road, that dinosaur!

The train - a majestic, magnificent invention. An unassuming line of boxes that hold stoically the most suppressed emotions you could ever imagine: he/she cheated on me, I'm gonna propose tonight, I failed my exams, I'm broke, I'm finally going home to my family, I'm away from my loved ones again - a part devil, part angel carrier of the human species, a bringer of joy, a thief of happiness, alas! We have already made the decision before knowing what our feelings would be.

Should one's reputation be less verbose, as we navigate through an increasingly superfluous society? Should one ask for an easier state of being without knowing exactly what to ask for before one is dying?

[stansim]

I find ways to describe you so comforting, like a warm sweater on a cold day.

I love looking at your expressions as you speak. The way your eyes light up like stars shining in the clear dark skies; the way your voice harmonise with your words; the way you move your hands. It feels like reading verses of a beautiful poem.

I love the way your hair sways and caresses your beautiful face, like the gentle strokes of an artist’s brush.

Your eyes are the windows to your soul, to which I get lost in, as it captures my universe with a single glance.

Your lips are the petals of the most exquisite flower, and the world around me dissolves with your kiss.

You’re not only unique in these parts - it’s the way everything harmonises into the most beautiful presence, that is you.

#A.M.H.M

[stansim]

We were meant to be

Destined to meet later in life

Two souls healing, growing

Meeting each other at the perfect timing

We will love each other the right way, and grow together as one

I am yours to keep

Please, don’t give me back to myself

[stansim]

Sometimes i forget that you were there. You dim the light, the one that i was just getting used to. It’s almost as if you had a point to prove. It’s almost as if, you were waiting to devour my words, as you stay crouched, sneering in the dark..

[stansim]

You are my favourite scent, my favourite shade, my favourite scenery, my favourite texture, my favourite tune, my favourite poem, my favourite person. It was as though you were made just for me. Most importantly, as 2024 ends, you were my favourite chapter. And I wish to be writing my favourite book with you now, filled with our favourite chapters, our favourite words. It doesn’t matter how beautifully the new year starts, it’s only truly beautiful with you in it.

[stansim]

“I feel it’s also important in a relationship to enjoy doing things together than to just take care haha”

“You see those couples with no life. The husband takes care of them and is nice. But that’s all to it!

“There’s no spark!”

“I don’t want to be just someone who takes care of you and is nice. Cos that’s given. These are the basics that any man should do.”

“.. But needs to be someone who keeps you excited and feeling happy, and adventurous with life with.”

- excerpts from a conversation

[stansim]

My mind is filled with thoughts of you. In the day i think about you, and when the night falls and the world quiets, my mind is still filled with thoughts of you - the way you look at me, your smile, i could hear your laughter. You’re the last thought in my consciousness before dreams claim me, and you’re the first thing I think about when i open my eyes. When our eyes meet, please tell me you feel the same way that I feel. That I’m not the only one stuck in a trance, wishing you were here.

[stansim]

Maybe in the parallel universe, nobody gets heartbroken. Maybe in the parallel universe, you are each other's favorite thing, and nobody gets confused. Everything is perfect and there is nothing to work on.

Maybe the universe sends you the right person so that you'll learn to fight for someone. Maybe the universe places someone in your life, to see you the way you want to be seen, how your soul craves to be understood. Maybe in this universe you seem fragile to others, and this person is a reminder of the strength, beauty and depth you carry. Maybe, just maybe the universe places you in the dark, just to see how bright the fire in you burns.

[stansim]

I love how you linger in the spaces where most people rush through. I love how you colorised everything around me, as my heart grew. It feels like I could strip myself of the worn out armour that I wore to protect the softer parts of myself, the mask and its stories that I had worn for so long.. It feels like, I don’t have to be anything else, but myself.

[stansim]

Maybe part of me is just holding on to that little void, hoping to keep it empty, so that I could fill it with anything other than the truth.

[stansim]

When do we stop asking for more, even though we have enough? More space, more money, more convenience. When do we stop praying for more? More peace (work on our anxiety why not?), more happiness, more luck!.. more strength? Lest we die from the curveballs life throw at us. When do we stop expecting more? We have nothing more to give. Is that bad at all? More patience, more financial stability, more wisdom. Maybe one day, for all that we’re striving for, these questions would be answered, or simply fall away..

[stansim]

..and i know you have travelled far. The calluses of your feet knows well - each tells a story. The callus of your heart, spiteful. Keep on going. Sometimes the journey gets dark, winding, it doesn’t end. Be an optimist, for there is light, or a cat at the end of the tunnel.

[stansim]

minds collide and thoughts divide

should one journal, keep a diary, if one isn't honest with his feelings at all?

Sitting there, pensive, seemingly deep in thoughts, turning words into sentences that seemed right. Like an acrobat, balancing on a tight-rope, struggling to grasp between reality and imaginary. The mind is a circus that never sleeps.

[stansim]

The emotions never left They were always there I was running faster Leaving them They never stopped chasing, determined Grit my teeth and keep sprinting Like running underwater . A tap on the shoulder

"Hey buddy.." "Remember me..?"

[stansim]

Not everything in life is meant to end with a beautiful story. Not every person that you share a deep connection with is meant to come into your life. Sometimes they come in to teach you how to love.. or how not to love. And sometimes people leave, and that's okay.. because the reasons will stay. But always remember, you'll never be right for the wrong person. You'll always be just right, for the right person.